The Girl Next Door
by TequilaQuest
Summary: Too often we under estimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
1. Chapter I

Disclaimer: I do not own Brittany, Santana or Glee. (I wish)  
>Rated: M for Language and Mature content in later chapters.<br>Pairing: Brittany and Santana. (Also side relationships)  
>Themes: DramaAngst, Comfort, Romance and Comedy.

_[Summary] Brittany has been treated differently and bullied for her condition all her life and mean girl Santana Lopez would be her worst nightmare if they were to ever meet. In a turn of events to escape the harassment at her previous school, Brittany's family move to Lima and right next door to the Lopez residence. Both girls' lives are then turned upside down forever._

**CHAPTER I**

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><p><strong><em>"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." -<em>** _Leo Buscaglia_

Brittany Pierce was as innocent as they came. Internally, she was an All-American kind of girl with hopes, passions and goals as every other seventeen-year-old would have. However, instead of worrying if she had made that perfect speech in front of a crowd of sanctimonious class mates, the one that would win her votes for this year's homecoming queen. Brittany would worry about if she'd be able to answer the most mundane questions that would be asked each and every day. _What were her plans for that night? What did she think about that one movie? Did she think that guy was cute?_Brittany would always keep her answers short and vague, to dodge any disdainful looks or smart mouthed remarks that may be fired her way. She was lucky; most people tended to avoid her in general but when they did approach the fearful blonde, it was out of unkindness to provoke a reaction they could mock.

_Brittany, got a date for Homecoming?_

"No."

_Why not? Can't find one?_

"I don't want to go."

_There's no boy you'd like to take?_

"No..."

_You'd rather be alone?_

"Yes."

_What if we dragged you out? What if we put our hands on yours; skin on skin... Then we drag you from your lonely and pathetic hole that you've been cooped up in. Would you come__out_ _and play then?_

The girls at her previous school where far too egotistical to show any empathy towards Brittany, especially with her condition. Asperger's Syndrome was life consuming for her, she was trapped and felt claustrophobic in her own self and Brittany's only wish at seventeen was to finally burst out, or find the courage to even try. But with her crippling life at St. Mary's, it only meant taking one step forward and two steps back.

Brittany found it almost impossible every time to have a civil conversation with someone, without boring the listener by divulging into her own bottomless pit of obsessions by blurting out endless remarks regarding the beauty of biology and nature; her forte and only muse. Many addressed her vague remarks towards questions as offensive and insensitive, which ultimately left Brittany embarrassed so she avoided much conversation all together. Brittany would keep her head down to discourage any eyes that were hunting for a little guinea pig like herself to play with and when she was spoken to, she'd usually have an answer with less than three words or even as short as three syllables.

Truth be known, Brittany Pierce was the most honest girl that anybody could have ever met. She was a girl who was brought up in a generation full of lies and disloyalty. Her classmates couldn't stand the fact that none of the teachers could put a bad word to her name and was frowned up on for taking on reality and not living in some superficial universe up in her head like the rest of the girls did. The girls of St. Mary's were jealous because Brittany Susan Pierce kept it real when the rest of the world was turning to shit.

One unfortunate night, Brittany's mother, Grace had to draw the line when some of girls at her daughter's boarding school plotted against Brittany and sabotaged her. She was called late by the head mistress regarding Brittany who had been involved in an incident and suffered a severe panic attack. It turned out that the girls had pinned Brittany down on her bunk when she was sleeping and started ticking her skin which caused an unforeseen reaction for both the students and teachers.

Part of Brittany's condition, as rare as it was, meant that she also suffered from having Aphephobia – meaning the she had a phobia of being touched. For Brittany, it was solely skin to skin contact and her parents wondered if it had something to do with their daughter being on the autism spectrum but the doctors dispelled such theory and instead related it to anxiety issues. The days Brittany started to realise as a kid that she was different from everyone else were the days she began to stop putting her trust in others and she was never the same since.

It was devastating for her family but true; no one could ever touch her skin, not even her parents and for many long nights, both of them cried and prayed, hoping that their little baby would someday get better. Brittany could never be intimate or be close with anyone, she had never held hands with anybody without gloves nor had she ever been kissed. Romance was just a noun to Brittany and an experience she would never get. But even though the girl was emotionally and physically excluded from society, she was determined to change it after that one night at St. Mary's and without second thought, her family packed their bags, sold the house and drove far, far away. And Brittany never looked back.

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><p>Santana Lopez was the complete opposite of Brittany; she walked taller than everyone else with her pride towering over the rest of the minions at McKinley High School. The girl reeked of confidence, and it smelled delicious. Her status was so disgustingly important to her that she baked girls dry if anyone tried to steal her spot on top of the pyramid in the Cheerio's. Yes, she was also head cheerleader at school and front runner for Homecoming Queen funnily enough. But it wasn't always tiaras and leotards for the rich bitch that got everything. Her life behind the scenes was also pretty fucking sad. Santana's mother, Anita was more overbearing and nagging than tics on a matted and moulting alley cat. For years now the parasite of a 'mother' had wormed her way into Santana's head, using her own daughter as a carcass to live her own teenage -well past it's sell by date- fantasies. Ever since Santana's father left them when she was eight, her mother could only ever take her own misery and failings out on her daughter which unfortunately, became Santana's norm.<p>

_Love is false; love is a pedestal that's setting you up so your can heart only be broken and so you can fall back down again..._

_Fate is a silly game; it doesn't give a shit about you, so always play by coincidence..._

_Only make eye contact with someone you're about to destroy, otherwise, don't take a second glance at anyone, it means they have_your_attention._

_Just face it Santana, it's better when it's without feelings. I'm only doing this for your own good..._

This biased advice was cherished in Santana's black book of lies, which she carried with the rest of her weights and chains every single day and it dragged her down to exhaustion…

"Mom!" Santana winces with her nose creased and teeth baring. Mrs Lopez tugs through her daughter's hair roughly with a comb while mumbling incoherent threats under her breath.

"Well Santana, this is what happens when you sleep with your hair wet! I swear one of these days you'll learn." One final loop with the head tie, a gallon of hair spray and a defeated plea by the fearless cheerleader for her mom to stop and Santana Lopez is ready for a new school day.

"Now remember, Nationals are _only_ a couple of months away, so I think it would be productive for you to make your own way home from school now instead of carpooling. _And _you should fit in a couple of hours of extra training when classes finish. I spoke to Coach Sylvester and she thinks it is a divine idea." Santana scoffs, but isn't surprised at her mother's orders.

"Now give me a smile, it doesn't suit you when you're face is tripping." Anita gives another aggressive pull on her daughters hair, causing Santana to yelp but she flashes a smile anyway as for without pain, skin couldn't grow tougher.

Satisfied, Mother Trunchbull checks her own manufactured self in the mirror, snorts and whisks away out of Santana's bedroom, trailing off about something about having to make lasagne for the new neighbours leaving Santana to stand alone statuesque like, glaring at her reflection in the mirror. Every single morning this was the same old routine; every morning she would be left by her mother and feel nothing but pure resentment which burned furiously within her chest. That burn was the fuel that kept Santana so fiery throughout the day, always keeping her focused, always on edge and always so god damn nettled by everyone else.

Finally Santana tilts her head up, trying to spot any imperfections in her make-up and breathes deeply, dusting off her cheer uniform before she makes her way to her bedroom window. It was a humid day in Lima and it was definitely not helping Santana's mood. She draws back her black curtains and lets the sun beat down on her. Closing her eyes she rests her head against the glass and allows the warmth soak in her skin. When it gets too hot she unlocks the hatch and pushes the double hung window open, letting the breeze dance along her dark olive skin.

She examines the empty house opposite her; it had been neglected for a while so she was curious as to who her new neighbours could be. Unfortunately, her neighbourhood was filled with confused OAP's and bratty children, running around frantically with icky snot bubbles and food smeared all over their faces; so she kept herself well reserved when it came to mingling in her street. But who knows, maybe a cute boy would move next door and that way she wouldn't have to crawl down to Puck's level anymore to get some kind of thrill.

Sex was more of a distraction for Santana than anything; it didn't matter who it was with just as long as it was consistent in her life. She didn't have any feelings for the people she slept with and usually it was a one off. Santana just liked the idea of somebody wanting her, even if it was in a way that made her out to be an object instead of a treasure or anything desired. She was just a toy and that was fine.

A familiar car horn sounds, and Santana is abruptly shaken from her thoughts; she lifts her bag that had been slumped on the floor and flees out of her bedroom and down the stairs, leaving without a word to her mother. She skips down her front yard to meet her closest friend, Quinn Fabray – another cheerleader – another posh totty who even owned a Porche.

Quinn and Santana became close when they were both accepted for try-outs in freshman year and even though they were the two youngest dancers to try out, they were two of the best cheer performers at the school. Quinn's mother was totally a toddler's and tiaras woman which ultimately set up a competition between the two friends and it wasn't always friendly; in fact, there wasn't a day gone by when they didn't bicker and Quinn was still bitter after Santana was made head Cheerleader despite remaining to be stuck up Sue Sylvester's ass. Quinn always hoped that maybe the coach would change her mind and make her on top but she was always left disappointed and she always held Santana accountable for it.

"You really need to start thinking about getting your own car or start thinking about paying me for gas," Quinn sighed, fixing her shades in the rear view mirror. Santana threw her bag in the back seat and hopped over the car door into shot gun. "And you really need to stop doing that; you're like, killing my leather seats." She complains but Santana rolls her eyes.

"And you need to lose a few pounds but you don't see me complaining." Santana smiles as she watches Quinn's perfectly caked face drop before making an 'O' with her lips. "Drive."

Quinn glowers behind her shades, punches the car into gear and speeds off while Santana watches her highly pissed 'friend' in amusement, setting her up in good spirits for the rest of the day.

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><p>Brittany stumbles out of the family Grand Cherokee, feels her feet, stretches and sighs before rubbing her eyes awake. An unusual smell grips at her attention as she sniffs the air. The smell is damp and organic and as she squints in the sunlight she realises it's the scent of the flourishing trees, the fresh cut grass and the delicate flowers, dancing in the breeze from daisies to wild tulips. A wave of relief washes over her and she's awe struck for a moment, it's like she can hear music in her ears. Back in Arizona, she was stuck in a drought of anything raw; even the plants had brittle spikes severing out from their bodies yet here, she hadn't even stepped out of the car for ten seconds and she felt a flutter in her stomach like the butterfly that was weighed down by doubt had finally broke free. She leans against the car for a moment, clutching her stomach and smiling heartily from cheek to cheek and even lets out a unfamiliar giggle. It was happening, she was finally free from St Mary's, from Arizona and for a brief moment, she was free from herself.<p>

"So what do you think? Pretty neat huh?" Brittany's mom gleams at her but she knows instantly that this move is a good decision. Brittany tiptoes up the front yard, carefully eyeing the woodwork and strokes her index finger down the pillar of the porch yet doesn't say a word although she's animated, curious and absolutely glowing. A grin is enough for her mother to be answered.

Several hours of unpacking, touring and testing appliances pass and Brittany sits alone in her new room. She plays with a lock of hair while inspecting her surroundings. The walls are bare but it excites her. Brittany is a fond painter and as she plans out picturesque images in her head, she looks forward to bringing out her hidden character through such colour and designs.

She's walking now, grazing her hands across the walls and stops at her bedroom window. Desperate to smell the crisp air again, she forces the jammed hatch open and another grin creeps up on her face as she closes her eyes, inhaling the earth. Without thinking, she jumps onto the ledge which is wide enough to sit on; perfect for nights when she couldn't sleep and positions herself across the pane with her left leg dangling outside and her right folded up to her chest.

Brittany begins to curiously examine the house next door, it's a twinned house identical to hers with a similar window facing opposite her not ten feet away. The room was most likely parallel to hers; black curtains lick across the ledge of the other window in the soft breeze, almost inviting her to look inside of the stranger's room but it's the rustling of the young oak tree that catches her attention next. It slouches between the two houses and one of the branches reach out to her as a broad-leaf tickles her ankle gently. Without hesitation, Brittany being such the nature enthusiast, she smiled and leaps over to her suitcase and scrambles for paper and a pencil before reclaiming her seat at the window. She immediately starts sketching down the green giant in front of her and does so for the next few hours. It's heaven to Brittany; just sitting excluded, drinking in the wilderness around her and not having the urge to move at all.

* * *

><p>It's late afternoon and Santana is spent. The humidity coats a gleam over her skin as she lies defeated on the school playing field with her head down in the grass. Eight-hundred meters, one-hundred sit ups and endless stretches later and she was the subject of a hair commercial; weak, limp and lifeless and it wasn't the fucking decathlon team! Meanwhile, a couple of feet away, Quinn lies in a ball, wheezing out curse words and practically deep-throating her water bottle.<p>

"You both have about as much energy as the battery in my left hearing aid! Get out of my sight!" Coach Sylvester spits through the microphone and Santana is up first, ready to cut the first person who gets in her way and scuffs past Quinn who dangles her hand in the air, waiting for Santana to pick her up but instead, she is left hanging.

The girls head for the locker rooms and thankfully, people manage to stay out of their way. When either Quinn or Santana have a face like Fizz or look like the worlds about to end, it was advised to not even make eye contact as they were like a walking time bomb. Last year around the same time before Nationals, Quinn had sprained her ankle which meant Santana got the advantage of becoming Head Cheerleader. She was so furious that she pushed a freshman girl to the floor, grabbed her by the pigtails, called her 'Amanda' the little slave dog and dragged the poor girl across the floor like a floor mop – all because the freshman girl looked at her in the wrong way. Santana on the other hand, was more verbal than physical.

"I'm not coming over tonight; I'm going to the celibacy club with Finn instead." Quinn tells Santana, ruffling her damp hair with a towel as the two girls cool off in the locker rooms.

"In other words, you're gonna screw his brains out?"

"Of course!" Quinn's smile was devilish and Santana just shakes her head. "You should totally invite Puck over instead, I'm sure he'd love to watch or _taste_some of that sweet valley high..."

"Hmm, I don't think so. If I do anymore kind of 'push ups' today, I might permanently damage myself." Santana quotes before slamming her locker door shut.

"Whatever, enjoy your walk home." Quinn winks as she slams her locker door shut, leaving Santana perched on the bench to sulk about her long journey home.

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><p>It's been several hours and Brittany hasn't inched away from her spot on the window ledge at all. Her attention left the tree after she finished sketching it up and she set her mind on the sun instead. As the fiery ball sinks further into the night, it leaves the sky washing into a canvas of pink and purple gradients but the tight sensation that pulls in her stomach makes Brittany realise that she'd have to move soon to get something to eat. She stretches and yawns before hopping down from her place and makes her way to the landing at the top of the stairs but stops when she hears the sound of an unfamiliar voice.<p>

"And if you need any help at all with the unpacking, please just let me know. I'm only next door after all." Another woman speaks in a raspy tone.

"Thank-you very much, Anita. It's greatly appreciated and I'm sure that we will love the lasagne!" Brittany's mother chirps. Brittany ponders for a moment before deciding that it wouldn't be such a good idea after all to search for food at that moment and turns away to walk back. Introductions were the epitome of awkwardness for Brittany.

"Ah! Brittany! Come down here and meet your new neighbour," _Too late_. Brittany grinds her teeth and takes a breath before facing back around and descends down the stairs slowly, keeping her gaze to the floor. When her foot hits the carpet of the next step, her anxiety starts to kick in; her heart beats a little faster and her palms become a little sweatier. She stops at the bottom of the stairs and raises her head, making eye contact with her neighbour. The woman has a hard face and probably looks a lot older than she should. Yet she attempts to hide any trace of stress which may have burdened her throughout the years with coats of make-up and is consumed by ponging fragrance that burns at Brittany's nostrils. The likely-hood is that this woman is rich even though she appears slightly try-hard when she smiles through a full set of white veneers to Brittany who returns the smile coyly.

"You must be Brittany... I've heard a lot about _you_." Anita tries to sound sincere but the tone contradicts with her fake, 'welcoming' smile. The strange woman's eyes roam up and down Brittany like an insect – a way in which the girls back in St. Mary's would look at her and Anita tilts her chin up to confirm that she has made her judgment: she doesn't like Brittany and Brittany sees it straight away; her imperfections were already being picked out by a stranger – like always because her mother must have brought up the Asperger's already. It wasn't her fault that some people were ill-informed and thought those with the condition were practically robots; but it still hurt. Brittany's smile suddenly fades as she looks at Anita densely causing Anita to furrow her brows slightly.

"You know, Anita has a daughter the same age as you, Brittany. Her name is Santana," Grace courage's Brittany who now has her head hung while she scuffs her foot against the cold, marble ground in an awkward manner. "Maybe you both could hang out sometime?"

"Well, she _is_ head cheerleader and competing in Nationals soon so she _does_ have a very tight schedule; barely has anytime for her real friends!" Anita nervously laughs. Brittany doesn't react; in fact she looks completely apathetic for what Judge-McFucking-Juggernaut had to say and immediately, the atmosphere turns tense. "Speaking of my little girl, I must leave to make her dinner. Wonderful meeting both of you!" Anita exclaims and gives Grace a faux-kiss on the cheek and a nod towards Brittany before skipping out the front door.

"I don't like her." Brittany instantly declares was the door closes. Grace scoffs and pats her daughters shoulder, making sure her hand only touches the material of her shirt.

"Well you're just gonna have to because she's your neighbour and I'm sure Santana will make time for you. Maybe she'll show you around your new school and what the kids like to get up to here," Grace was always very positive when it came to Brittany; with her father working around the world she was her main support and had to set an example. "And what did we say about trying a little harder to let people in?" Grace sighs while dishing out the lasagne as they move to the dining area. "Now eat, I could hear your belly rumble all the way from your room." Brittany lolls her head, drags out a chair before dropping herself down and scrapes the lasagne idly into her mouth.

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><p>It's twilight now and the air is a lot cooler, Santana struggles through the final steps from her gruelling run and heaving, she flails on to the grass on her front lawn and takes long, deep breaths, wheezing out erratically. Sticky, sweaty and sickly, she gulps down the fresh air to help clean out her lungs while staring up to the sky in a tired gaze. As she starts to relax her eyes become heavy as she feels the calm air now, soothing her. She could pass out right there and then if she wanted to, but the only thing stopping her was how hungry she is and if her mom had to carry out one good trait, it was that she was a divine cook.<p>

However, it isn't the food that catches her attention in that moment; it's the distant melody coming from next door. Curious, Santana snaps her eyes open and faces the direction of the music. They narrow as she tries to listen intently but unfortunately, the breeze is too strong and it drowns the song, carrying the lullaby into the trees. Determined to figure the source of music, she finds the strength to gather herself to her feet and limps towards the music before she stops at the side of her house. Underneath her bedroom window, she stars up at the window opposite where white curtains dance along with the music as a bright glow from the inside light consumes the room, verifying that the house was no longer vacant. The lyrics sing;

_'Ten years before my time,_

_I sang a song to a friend of mine,_

_about a girl working for a dime._

_I didn't know that gypsy girl_

_b__ut I knew about her kind of thrill,_

_Her love was cheap_ _and always up for sale'._

Santana recognises the song immediately, it was a song that _he_ used to sing to her when she was younger; her father. She should feel angry after he walked out, but she never did. Instead, the song relights fond memories of when she was a child; a time when Santana Lopez was felt fearless without making others feel fearful. It was a time when she was free. Santana gazes up at the window in awe, reminiscing about her relationship with her father and grins from cheek to cheek. For a slight moment, the exhausted yet ecstatic cheerleader feels a tingle of exemption that she hadn't felt in so long before it's shaken off by the sound of her mother calling her to dinner.

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><p>"Complete airhead, bimbo, nutter next door, I must say!" Anita complains over dinner. "I mean, Grace, sure she's very sweet; maybe a bit of a perfectionist but her daughter is <em>something else<em>. She didn't even want to know me! Barely looked at me! I mean, do I come across as someone who wants to rob your grandmother?" The clash and clang of the fork against the Russian bowl set became as annoying as her mother's whinging thirty minutes ago. "Oh but that's okay, because you know why? She has a freakin' disorder... Autism or something. Well, honey; I don't think there's such thing as a disorder for ignorance. Totally barbaric."

"I'm sure she feels the exact same way about you." Santana rolls her eyes, lifting herself from the table. It was amazing to Santana how every single day over dinner, her mother would find something to rant on about. Yesterday her mom couldn't believe that the woman at the grocery store short changed her, calling the old lady mathematically challenged in front the staff and customers. At least Anita got an extra pack of lavender scented candles and a buy one get one free gift card for her next purchase. _Fucking cheapskate_.

"I don't want you anywhere near that one at school, you hear me?" Anita demands and Santana just chuckles.

"When do I ever give _any_low lives the time of day?" She holds her smirk, content that her mother didn't realize the ambiguity of her statement.

* * *

><p>Burnt-out and sore, Santana drags her feet across her bedroom floor making her way across to the open window. She hears the music from next door again but this time it's a beautiful piano arrangement, perfect to send someone off to sleep into the land of rainbows and unicorns or in Santana's case, god damn peace. Santana peeks past her curtains and observes the room opposite hers which contrasts magnificently to the dark, bold style that she called her pad. It definitely belonged to a girl; clothes carpeted the floor in gaudy colours and boxes were left unpacked as well as speckles of feminine touches being placed around the room in an unorganized manner. Santana purses her lips and keeps the room in view as undresses in front of her widow, like she did every night.<p>

* * *

><p>"Now, are you sure you have everything ready for school tomorrow?" Grace sings while clearing the dishes. Brittany twiddles her fingers deep in thought.<p>

"My lunch pack is waiting in the refrigerator. Two sandwiches, one consists of peanut butter and the other is chicken salad with extra cucumber. I put the beetroot the plastic container and I made sure that it was perfectly sealed. I don't want it spilling out on me and staining my shirt. The apple slices and grapes have been washed. Twice. The strawberry yogurt isn't in the pack at the moment, just in-case it leaks in the bag so I need to remind myself to put that in tomorrow..." Brittany faces up, nodding her head as she goes through her list. Grace stops washing and faces her with a slight smile.

"My clothes!" She points her index finger. "My clothes are ready. They are ironed and folded neatly. My gloves are on my bedside table but I wont be wearing the leather gloves just in-case it's hot out like today. I'm wearing my yellow wellington boots tomorrow; it might rain. I'm all showered and my hair is brushed. I just need to brush my teeth now." she gives one last satisfied nod and slides across the kitchen floor in her pyjama one-piece to hug her mom good night. The hug is stiff but she pours as much love into the embrace as she can to show the appreciation for her mother's patience. At least she was always able to show every side to Brittany for her mother.

"Just relax, and enjoy tomorrow, okay? It's my first day at work too." Grace smiles.

"I love you, mom. Good night." The do-eyed, fresh faced girl blows a kiss and disappears up the stairs before shouting back; "AND I NEED TO TAKE MY MEDS BEFORE BED!" Grace snorts and shakes her head. "AND IN THE MORNI-IIII-ING!" Brittany's echo travels around the house.

"Good night Brittany!"

Brittany skips into her room and lets the final song fade out before turning the docking station off. She inhales a deep breath, closing her eyes and lets the scent of fresh paint and the new aroma outside consume her. There's complete silence and she is lost in a hypnotic state.

'_Now gypsy lady lost her soul_

_And she's so scared of growing old.._.'

Wait a minute? Brittany jolts up from the familiar lyric. A voice that was different from the male vocalist she was used to was singing her favourite song. It was a girls voice which was warm like whiskey and sharp like shells. The style of the melody creeps up on Brittany, leaving a trail of hair standing at attention on her arms. She whips her head around, trying to find the unfamiliar voice of the soulful singer.

'_But words don't age for me to turn to gold._'

There it was again and this time Brittany dashes to her window. In her peripheral vision she finds the girl to the voice. It was Santana, the girl next door. She sits on her window ledge in the same way Brittany had been positioned at her window earlier that day and rubs lotion into her tan legs as her damp hair cascades down her naked back. Even though there was only a towel wrapped over her front and bottom, the Latina girl wasn't fazed about it at all as if it was a normal routine for her to sit at her window half naked. Brittany can't believe it as she watches with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. Someone else _knew_ her song. She moves closer to listen to Santana more clearly and props her elbows on the open window-sill with her head resting on her hands.

Santana was surprised that she was even singing out loud. It started in the shower and kept going all the way back into her bedroom. That same old song she used to love so much and still loved but inexcusably forgot about was all she could think of. Sitting in the spot, she lets the air brush past as it dries her skin while she sings carelessly and it makes her feel at peace again. She's embraces the moment so much that other people begin to sing with her; a fragile, angelic voice accompanies the harmony as they both sing out:

_'Gypsy girl with raven hair...'_

Santana abruptly stops but the other voice continues to sing out the melody.

'_Holds my hope into the air._

_She's the one that never seemed to care_.'

There's a silence afterward as, one voice waits for the other. Brittany opens her eyes, wondering why her singing partner has stopped but is greeted with a mystified glare from Santana instead as she holds her mouth aghast. This unbalances Brittany as her elbows start to wobble while her cheeks burn up in a heated flush. The look wasn't disdainful, just full of puzzlement.

Santana jumps mere seconds later from the ledge, shielding herself with the curtain and Brittany mirrors her.

"What... What the hell are you doing?" Santana yelps out. Brittany clenches onto the thin fabric of her own curtain as she hides behind it, revealing only the top of her head to see.

"Singing," She replies innocently and Santana frowns in confusion.

"Well... I can see that!" Her tone is accusing but Brittany doesn't catch on to what she has done wrong.

"I… I just wanted to sing along with you, that's all" Brittany ducks her head uncomfortably, setting her gaze on a hair scrunchie on the floor.

This girl was like nothing at all like what Santana had imagined her to be. From her mother's description, she expected Brittany to be the ugliest, greasiest and most bitter keyboard gangster that ever trolled the internet. So she was surprised to see Brittany being the complete opposite; her hair gleamed blonde under the sunset, she had an acute bone structure with striking features with exotic looking eyes and basically looked like a damn supermodel.

Santana holds her towel protectively and juggles the options of what to say or do but can't help the sinking feeling of envy towards this girl. She was so, so pretty. So Santana does what she does best; she makes sure that she was the superior of all superiors and locking her chocolate brown eyes back on the blonde, she waits for her to make contact then dips her head when Brittany looks back and smirks before glancing through her thick lashes.

"Where you looking at me... Like _that_?" Santana breathes an octave lower than normal, enjoying the flustered look on Brittany's face. Her cheeks become more pink as her eyes bat around nervously in every direction.

"Uh... I... I don't..." Brittany bites her bottom lip as a crease forms between her brows.

"You know..." Santana pops out from behind the curtain, holding the towel with one hand and grins. Brittany peeks at her again and her eyes immediately fall on her body causing Santana raise a brow mischievously. "Like you want to see what's behind this towel?" Santana loosens her grip a little, letting the cloth slide slightly down her shoulders. "Do you want to see what's behind this towel, Brittany?" She hisses now. She licks her lips and the towel glides down her arms now. Brittany breaks eyes contact again and turns to face her bedroom door away from Santana.

"I don't want to see what is behind the towel." Brittany strains. "I just wanted to listen to your voice. I think it's beautiful and I wanted to sing along with you." She doesn't even attempt to turn back around to shut her window. Instead, she glides away into the darkness of her room.

Santana stands at her window and waits to see if she returns. She doesn't.

"Well, fuck me." She whispers to herself as she furrows her eyebrows. Santana Lopez had just been upstaged for the first time by a girl who had been treated as an inferior her entire life.

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter I<em>

**So there is is! The first chapter of many. I haven't been inspired to write FF in a _long_ time but I love Brittana too much not to. I have a really good idea where this story is going so I hope you will enjoy it as much as I do. Reviews; inluding critical responses are always appreciated!**

**Laura.**


	2. Chapter II

_[AN] _Hello! My apologies for not updating in months especially after only submitting one chapter. I've literally been travelling all summer and only got my laptop back this week. I just want to thank everyone for the reviews and questions. And please proceed to submit. Because my laptop has been MIA it just means that I've written 7 Chapters on paper already. I had a lot of fun writing this one, and I promise I will update more often now. Enjoy!

_**CHAPTER II**_

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><p>An escapade of nightly terrors causes Brittany to stir in her sleep. Flashbacks from St. Mary's creep into her mind and plant seeds, soiling her dreams with fears that wriggle like worms through her body. She shudders, trying to shake off the memories but it's the girlish laughter which echo's like sirens that causes her to cry out in the middle of the night. She kicks and punches the air, trying to fight off the invisible hands that grope and caress her body and In a final attempt to break out from her subconscious hell, she digs her nails deep into her arm and jolts wide awake.<p>

Her breath catches in her throat causing her to choke and spurt out cries before she sits up in the dark, rocking back and forth and feeling numb from fright until her senses and surroundings start to prickle away at her skin. Her breathing is erratic and tears well up in the corner of her eyes as a cold sweat glazes across her body. It wasn't every night that Brittany would have nightmares about her previous school at St. Mary's. She'd even pray to forget every time she closed her eyes to sleep and was usually rewarded. However, these cuts left scars and every other night; Brittany would have to endure the trauma one more time.

She rubs the aching spot that churns violently in her stomach and whimpers, flipping the duvet from above her and rolls out of bed. Spreading her feet on the soft carpet she stretches before she feels the morning head rush attack her senses. Brittany finds the glass of water that sits idle by her bedside cabinet and drinks it greedily while popping two prescription pills that hid in the drawer below. She swallows them without flinching and sighs when the glass becomes empty. In an attempt to cool down, she tip-toes across the bedroom to the open window where the calm breeze causes the hem of the curtains to sail across the wooden ledge as the leafs from the tree rustle in synchronisation.

Any trace of the night is replaced by the pink watercolour sky that dissolves into the morning sun's rays like sherbet. Brittany clambers up onto the ledge to face the sun rise, letting its warmth cuddle her as the breeze soothes out her skin.

"It was only a dream Brittany!" She tells herself. "Not reality. No more than a spontaneous outburst of electrical energy processing through my brain. No harm done… No harm done." She nods to herself, drawing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. It was no earlier than six in the morning and the rest of Ohio would be waking up soon. Brittany decides to take advantage of the serene atmosphere as the sun rises from the hills. A few lines from 'Gypsy Girl' replays in her head and her eyes automatically dart over to Santana's window. _Santana… _Brittany purses her lips in thought.

Even though Santana was the kind of girl that Brittany should avoid at all costs, there was something about the raven haired beauty that intrigued Brittany. She was intimidating; yes, and could kill ones confidence with her sinister smile; even by the way she looked alone. However, Brittany couldn't believe that she was _all_ black cats and cauldrons. Listening to Santana sing last night struck a chord with Brittany and she couldn't put her finger on it; watching Santana treat the world as if it were her own where no one could interfere almost inspired Brittany. She admired Santana for embracing the freedom that she strived for so much despite their awkward first encounter the previous night.

The heat from the sun begins to itch away at Brittany's pale skin as she yawns and stretches some more before she moves to the shade of her room. Today was her first day of public high school and being naïve to the status quo, she should have been nervous but it was quite the contrary. Being the new kid would always be difficult at any school for anybody but luckily, McKinley was known to be crawling with personality where anyone would be able to find a group and mingle with them. Their guidance counsellor, Miss Pillsbury was also commended for her work with the students. She always made them feel welcome by catering to their needs with much care and attention or it said in the school programme. Brittany smiles to herself, burying any trace of last night's qualms in an attempt to stay enthusiastic for her day ahead.

Surprisingly, Brittany Pierce was very brave. She never complained or felt sorry for herself nor blamed anyone else or ran away from who she was. She lived to accept what was what and dealt with it constantly, no matter how demanding her day may be. Brittany was always thankful for the rare times that she did get when she could be herself when she was mostly alone as bittersweet as it may seem.

She stands in front of the mirror now, eyeing the girl who holds one expression on her face but a million expressions in her eyes. The girl in front of her is smirking, resilient and ready to face anything. That is until the nausea kicks in and like a mirage, the girl begins to disappear. Brittany's complexion greys and any trace of an optimistic expression have now dissolved. This was her first day of public school where the hallways were infested with bodies squeezing past each other, pushing one another and with skin inevitably touching skin.

* * *

><p>Not ten yards away Santana is already fuming; fists are clenched tight, teeth grind together and a menacing glare darts back in the reflection of the mirror. Today was not her fucking day. Her hair and scalp had been tugged the point where you'd think she paid a hefty sum for some botox and a brow lift. When Santana angered her mother then boy, she really angered her and like every morning, they found something to bicker about. Yet for once it wasn't concerning school or nationals, it was about the father that had 'abandoned' Santana.<p>

"Mother! Jesus Christ!" Santana screams. "The bitching comb has teeth like fucking razorblades!"

"Watch your mouth!" Anita clouts Santana across the back of her head, trying to thread the comb through her daughter's hair. "You have hair like your fathers personality, you know; thick and a pain the ass!" Anita spits. Santana rolls her eyes then frowns deeper. "Your ungrateful attitude is such an abysmal. If it weren't for the time and dedication that I've spent on you then we wouldn't have any respect from anyone!"

Santana's room wouldn't be overcrowded with trophies and certificates to show off to the rest of the world either and Anita wouldn't get the satisfaction from smelling the reek of jealousy that oozed out from the competitions pores. Of course it was all a pathetic cover up; Anita used as much unwanted time and effort placing Santana on a pedestal as a distraction to stop her from relapsing into a pool of misery in her own dreaded mid-life crisis. Also, it was to hide a few skeletons that were cramped in her closet which burdened Anita every day. Lastly, Santana always reminded her of _him_.

Santana continues to glare through the mirror, tired of being treated like a ragdoll and knowing what to do, she lifts her chin, wears a smirk and winks at her mom spitefully. Anita grinds her teeth and faces away before slamming the comb on Santana's bed. Yes, she really did take after her father.

"Your father was an asshole!" Anita seethes, picking up hair ties around the room and placing them accordingly around the doorknob as a distraction.

"Asshole to you? Probably. I don't blame him but he loves me, I know it." Santana retorts, folding her arms. Anita slams her hand down on the bedside cabinet before marching towards Santana, shoving her shoulders and spinning her daughter around, squaring up to her until they're just inches apart.

"Now you listen to me, you little witch! How dare you treat me like this after all that bastard of a man has done to this family? He left me, he left you and for what? Some younger, gold-digging whore! Do you understand? I have slaved for this family for years, Santana. YEARS!" Anita spits.

"To provide for you, to make sure that you have enough activities and at most to make sure you don't end up with anyone like _him_ when you're older." Santana bites her tongue, but continues to listen. "Look at what we've achieved, look at these trophies and look at this damned house! If you want to act like an unappreciative little bitch then why don't you just move out and see how far you get on without me." Anita stops for a breath, not breaking eye contact.

"And if you're so confident that your father loves you so much, why hasn't he visited in years? Why hasn't he called or written you?" The few seconds silence afterwards confirms that Santana doesn't have an answer. "Get your head out of your ass and start believing that he doesn't give a _shit_ about you Santana." Anita growls.

Any trace of hurting disappears from Santana's face and her expression is replaced with raw resent. She slowly backs away from her mother, hands clutched and jaw clenched. Anita brushes off her pants and runs her hands through her mahogany-dyed hair before exiting Santana's room without another word.

Santana struggles for composure as she grows more furious and it causes a lump to wedge itself in her throat. Her nails dig into her palms as she bites her tongue harder, breaking the skin and letting the metallic flavour of red hot blood that flows angrily through her veins sour away in her mouth. She glowers around her bedroom and eyes the various scraps of metal that rewards her throughout the years. She picks up her most recent trophy; '_Santana Lopez: For Excellence in Gymnastics_.' and traces her thumb over the engraved writing on the silver cup before an overwhelming wave of anger washes over her. With a violent thrust of her wrist, she tosses the trophy to the other side of the room and cries out. The trophy knocks over the other awards standing on the opposite shelf like bowling pins, causing them to clatter on the floor.

Now biting her bottom lip, Santana covers her eyes with her fists and breathes in and out quick bursts of air. She charges to her window and attempts to take in the cool air as her hands shake while tears sting at her eyes. Her mother had ignited a fire that would slowly and painfully burn throughout Santana's body for the rest of the day. She sticks her head out of the window trying to cool down and since Quinn would be arriving soon to pick her up, she cannot be seen like this; she wouldn't give Quinn the satisfaction.

However, her mother's words stuck to her like burning plastic. '_He doesn't give a shit about you…_' and she closes her eyes, trying to remember the final memory of her father before he left but the anger dwelling inside is too much and she can't find anything.

Santana was at the tender age of eight when her father left. She returned home from school, fresh faced and full of life only to find her mother chugging down a bottle of brandy on the front porch, sniffling into a tissue and mumbling incoherently to herself. '_He left_,' was all that Anita could say for months as she drunk her sorrows away.

Santana rests her head against the wooden window frame and slowly opens her eyes, trying to shake herself from the memory until she catches Brittany across the yard, looking back with a curious expression. Santana frowns as does Brittany, tilting her head sideways as if Brittany was studying her and trying to make out why she looked so broken. Santana huffs in embarrassment and wipes her eyes before glaring back at the girl next door whose eyes haven't shifted.

"Would you like to paint a picture?" Santana croaks, not in the slightest amused. Brittany shakes her head.

"If I painted a picture right now, I would be late for my first day at school." Brittany says with tight lips. Santana raises an eyebrow.

"Whatever, weirdo. Don't talk to me." Santana tells her before slamming her window shut and disappearing back into her room.

"But you asked me a question." Brittany replies innocently, talking to the wind.

* * *

><p>"You want me to walk you to Principle Figgin's office? Or even the entrance? Oh honey, it's like elementary school all over again! If you feel uncomfortable, you got my cell okay? You got all of your lunch?" Brittany can only nod in reply to her worrisome yet affectionate mother. Her attention had been grabbed by the lively hood of McKinley High School as soon as they pulled up in the parking lot. Brittany steps out of the car like a timid tabby cat with wide curious eyes. St. Mary's would hide her tail between her legs if she came face to face with the monstrous jungle that was McKinley.<p>

"Animated and animalistic… Okay!" Grace chirps. "Maybe home-schooling isn't much of a bad idea after all!" Her mother nervously laughs. Brittany still doesn't reply.

Herds of students roam the grounds in all different shapes, sizes and colours and Brittany tries to identify the different groups by narrowing her eyes. The Goths are clothed in black rags and are plastered in dark make-up with faces so long they could trip. The stoners giggle like hyenas as they walk around aimlessly while fidgeting as if they have ticks. The jocks roam around in their red jerseys with their heads held high as they check out the talent of the cheerleaders that strut by; and it wasn't their dancing talent. Brittany studies the girls with the red dresses and pompoms next. "Like swans," She whispers to herself and that's when she spots Santana in her uniform, laying on top of a bench, trying the catch the morning rays before class.

* * *

><p>Santana flips through the tunes on her iPod, letting the heat soak into her dark skin. The rest of the cheerleaders are busy stretching for their morning routine but Santana knows that if she wants to make it through the day without punching someone in the face then she would have to feel as relaxed as possible. She tilts her head away from the sun to read the time on the School clock but as soon as she opens her eyes, she finds Brittany across the grounds, staring anxiously around the school building like a deer in the headlights.<p>

She studies the girls outfit; on a hot day like this it was absurd that Brittany was wearing cotton gloves and leg warmers. And as Santana continues to watch Brittany squinting away in the sunlight while she tries to read her map, she can't help but feel amused. Yet as if Brittany could feel Santana's eyes on her, the other girl peeks up from her map and catches Santana staring.

"Santana?" She jumps and pulls out her earphones only to be met by the devil himself; Noah Puckerman, or as he would like to be called, Puck. Santana eyes him then twists away uninterested. "Drinks at mine tonight, you game?" He asks politely. Puck had a way of convincing girls to fall for his charm when he dropped his voice and octave lower, especially when he wanted something.

"It's Tuesday." Santana yawns, bringing herself up from the bench.

"Right you are but how about we celebrate early?" Santana frowns then shrugs.

"Celebrate what?" Santana retorts. Puck smirks and moves closer, closing the proximity between them.

"My parents are going away for the weekend." He smiled, wiggling his eyebrows but Santana just scoffs and pushes him away.

"That's not a celebration! That's a weekly event. I'll come Friday, like everyone else!" Santana finishes before jumping off the bench and linking arms with Quinn, dragging her away from playing tonsil tennis with her boyfriend Finn.

"Don't leave me hanging!" Puck moans, unsatisfied.

"That's what you get for leaving me dry!" Santana shouts back. Quinn giggles obnoxiously from her morning make out session which causes Santana to rolls her eyes. She then automatically glances back at the direction of where Brittany was standing but she is nowhere to be seen.

"Come on," Santana tells Quinn. "We can't afford any distractions today."

* * *

><p>Brittany's eyes dart around, trying to keep her anxiety at bay and every time she looks for a distraction, she finds Santana. The cheerleader lies peacefully on the bench with her knees bent and Brittany can feel her cheeks turn hot when she notices that Santana's skirt has ridden up further than it should, exposing her smooth thighs and waist. It reminds her of the previous night when Santana had teased her, asking if she wanted to see what she looked like underneath the towel.<p>

Her eyes move up Santana's body until she catches the cheerleader looking right back. Flustered, she turns away, trying to make sense of the crumpled map in her hands and biting her lips in frustration for being lost. She takes a deep breath and wonders whether or not she should go and ask Santana for some help. They _were_ neighbours after all. She spins back around but catches a tall, dark and rather handsome boy with an unforgiving mohawk standing in front of Santana with his hands on her hips and staring intimately at her; he must have been her boyfriend. Not wanting to interrupt, Brittany shakes her head and scrapes her foot against the concrete as she shuffles away towards the schools entrance.

The main building smells a lot different to St Mary's. The sweet smell of sweaty odour attacks Brittany's senses first as basketball players run out of the gym, the rich coffee from the cafeteria was next and the smell of disinfectant from the janitor's closet hits her hard when she walks past. Raspberry corn syrup drips down the wall where some poor victim had just been slushed and the bold smell of bleach burns her nose as she walks by the bathroom next. Brittany makes sure to keep her back and palms firmly against the walls, staying as far away from the other students as possible.

"You have as much confidence as a mouse in my cat's mouth." A monotonous snarl snaps at Brittany's attention. Brittany whips her head around and takes in a sharp breath of air when she finds a middle-aged blonde woman that towers over her staring right into her soul. "What is your name, rodent?" The woman asks. Brittany eyes her outfit that consist of nothing but a red track suit and a whistle around her neck.

"I am… B-Brittany Pierce, mam." She stutters, frozen and uncomfortable with the stranger's incapability of personal space.

"And can you dance?" The woman asks, studying the frightful teen. Brittany frowns, she didn't want to speak to the strange lady but she was asked a question.

"I can dance…" She blurts out honestly. Brittany brings her head down and stares at the ground, trying to shake off the attention from all the cheerleaders that pass by in the hallway, who were glancing over and whispering to each other.

"Marvellous! I expect to see you after school for try-outs. Don't disappoint me, Brenda." The woman retreats, striding away to towards the gym. Brittany shakes her head; she would definitely not be trying out for anything tonight.

* * *

><p>Sue Sylvester had already caused Santana to lash out at a girl during cheer practice. Santana had been balancing on top of the pyramid and after a wave of criticism spat out to her through the coach's microphone; Santana became irritated and lost her balance causing the pyramid to fall.<p>

"My grandmother would still have more balance without her walking stick!" A girl named Lauren blurts out, causing the other girls to giggle. Santana who was already in a foul mood gives in and spins around to charge for the other cheerleader before tackling her and pinning her to the ground.

"Listen, _I'm_ the captain! You do as I say and I say shut the fuck up!" Santana threatens her. "Or I will let everyone know what a dirty little slut you've been, shacking up with three guys in one night? Yeah, I know. I own you, bitch!" Santana spits. It doesn't take long for Coach Sylvester to drag Santana from the victimised girl and sending her on her way.

Exasperated, Santana walks along the empty halls with her arms folded and face crumpled. She didn't mind when she was let off early from practice to go to class, usually she took it as an opportunity to see Puck or annoy the kids in Glee club but today she couldn't care less and just walked straight into her next class which was biology.

The class was dark apart from the glowering that buzzes off the aged computer that puffs out dust from the fan in the corner of the classroom. She spots her teacher typing thoughtlessly on the keyboard while she slams her books down on the desk, causing the brown curly haired man to jump.

"Santana!" Mr. Brown roars. Pushing his thick rimmed specs up from the bridge of his nose with his sausage like fingers. "You startled me… And you're early for class for once? Well done! Have a cookie." Santana, with barely enough energy to stay awake shoots the teacher a look that told him to go screw himself. She never really got on well with Mr Brown, one being that she had no interest in the subject and almost failed every test as well as the fact that Mr. Brown was a total pervert. She takes her usual seat next to the window at the back corner of the room and rests her head in one hand while tapping the desk with a pen in her other.

"Santana, you know I don't like that noise…" The teacher states but Santana just smirks.

"Mr Brown…" Santana replies as he looks up to her only to catch her winking at him. The teacher clears his throat uncomfortably before he shifts his attention to marking work and Santana just giggled under her breath.

The doors suddenly crack open and Mr. Brown jumps again and flips the lights on from his desk. A blonde girl creeps in, shoulders hunched and hands clasped together. Tip-toeing across to his desk, she hands a dog-eared sheet of paper to him before the girl's eyes wander across the class and looks at the walls in amazement as a small smile creeps across her face. She turns around to inspect the back wall and Santana freezes with wide eyes before dropping her head into her books, hoping not to be seen.

"Welcome to Human Biology, Miss Pierce!" Mr Brown announces.

"_Please not next to me_!" Santana chants repeatedly under her breath, still hidden from her books.

"I'm sure Santana's in need of a lab partner as is your new classmate Brittany." Their teacher continues. Santana raises he right arm and waves it around half-heartedly, keeping her head firmly resting on the desk. Brittany gives Mr Brown an unsure look that causes him to nod in encouragement. She takes a deep breath, clutching her books close to her chest and slowly makes it up the isle to the back of the class were Santana was sitting.

Santana shifts herself further away to the side of her desk, focusing on a lonely and dried out shrub outside. Brittany quietly organises herself as she sets up around her knew assigned seat but moves cautiously, afraid to do anything that would set Santana off but once she's settled into her chair, she sighs and stares aimlessly around the room silently. After a while, neither of the girls move or say anything at all and only the slow taping from the teacher's keyboard can be heard. Brittany finally reaches down to the floor and brings her bag to the desk before digging into her bag for a pair of shades and flips them on without explanation. The awkward silence carries on afterwards and it makes Santana curl her toes as she stares out the window until Mr Brown clears his throat.

"We still have five minutes till the rest of the class start filling in. Santana, why don't you show Brittany there what we've studied so far?" He muses. Santana rolls her eyes and internally kicks herself for coming to class so early. Maybe visiting Puck wouldn't have been such a bad idea after all. She sighs and hesitantly turns towards Brittany who's biting her nails and keeping her head facing the front of the class. She glares at the blonde girl and studies her. Brittany's golden locks are styled with her bangs fixed into a French pleat that is sowed back into the parting of her hair as the rest cascades neatly down past her shoulders. Freckles are lightly dotted across her nose and cheeks like a splatter of constellations and her lips that look pink and soft are worn as a tight line. Santana frowns confused as to why she was wearing shades and green fingerless hobo mittens that had little flaps to cover the top of her hands.

"May I remind you that you're indoors, it's rude to wear that kind of attire in here, especially if someone's talking to you?" Santana rolls her tongue across her cheek already in annoyance but moves her focus to finding the last pages she worked in her book. Brittany raises her arms without a word and takes a hold of her shades before removing them delicately. Santana turns again to meet Brittany who is now looking straight back and Santana swallows immediately.

"Uhh…" Santana mutters out, forgetting what page she was on. This was one of the few times that Brittany actually looked someone in the eye so closely for more than a few seconds and Santana was already speechless. Brittany had the most extraordinary eyes that Santana had ever seen, lost in a never ending sapphire galaxy, these eyes sparkled out a million stories, thoughts and feelings; she was hypnotised. Although feeling uncomfortable about the Santana's staring, Brittany twists her head and looks down at her desk; a speechless yet eyeful encounter wasn't uncommon for Brittany. On the other hand, Santana lags in thought before blinking as she tries to decipher what had just happened to her.

"What…" Brittany whispers out before remembering that Santana told her not to speak to her earlier back in the bedrooms.

"Huh?" Santana shakes her head out from her daze.

"What… s-subject?" Brittany repeats, barely audible.

"Oh," Santana replies, biting her lip as she flips through her books. "reproduction." She answers.

"And it's a lovely video! So Brittany, I want you to make sure that Santana doesn't fall asleep. Now that's actually one thing she's good at." Mr. Brown cackles as Santana tutts, rolling her eyes.

The bell finally rings and students start filling the class as Mr. Brown paces at the front, waiting for them to get settled before starting.

"Shhh! Class. Now, sexual reproduction; my _favourite_ subject!" He wiggles his eyebrows as the majority off the class make snarling noises of disgust while others laugh. "This video shows you the fundamentals of starting a new life, so let's start from the basics. Now if you're going to giggle all way through then can you please leave the class now? If not, let's start." This was a sensitive subject for Brittany but she was intrigued none the less.

Mr Brown inserts the DVD and clicks play on the remote before turning the house lights off.

'_Sex can mean many things…'_ The droning sound of the narrator's voice starts.

"No thank-you!" Santana objects waving her hands in front of her before grabbing her bag and placing it on the desk, using it as a pillow as she rests her head. Taking advantage of the darkness, she closes her eyes in hope for some much needed sleep. On the other hand, Brittany is consumed by the video, the process of reproduction was compelling to her and she doesn't allow her attention to waver from the television. As the DVD comes to an end, Brittany can't help but feel a little disappointed; she'd never to be able to feel like that with someone and when the credits start rolling, she turns to Santana who is now fast asleep.

Brittany hesitates for a moment, unsure what to do before without thinking, she picks up the pen from her desk and prods Santana on the cheek like a toddler poking a dead squirrel with a stick. Suddenly, Santana shoots up startled and lost for a split second.

"Jesus Christ, woman! Are you _trying_ to give me heart attack?" Santana gasps. As soon as she says this, the blood drains out of Brittany's face causing her to quickly shakes her head.

"Oh… No! I was just…. Why would I want to give you a heart attack?" Brittany panics, feeling guilty. Santana watches Brittany as her eyebrows sow together in a pained expression.

"I wouldn't blame you, I'm a conniving bitch." Santana states with a straight face. There's a long silence as she waits for Brittany to disagree and say something nice about her like all the other girls would but instead, Brittany just nods and rubs her palms together anxiously.

"So… Did you learn anything _exciting_ today?" Santana asks sarcastically, yawning as she collects her books. Brittany's posture straightens and her face suddenly brightens and again, she captures' Santana's attention for the second time.

"I actually did! I mean there's all these different species of mammal and we all make life the same way and from what? We all came from a single cell organism. Isn't that fascinating?" The pitch in Brittany's voice becomes heightened at the end of every sentence as she speaks enthusiastically and Santana raises an eyebrow. "Mammals… Reproduction is such a fascinating subject, almost as fascinating as the stars. I like stars because there are so many to study and so much to look at. There are _trillions_ of stars so you never get tired of them. There are stories of worriers and gods, and then there's the science of it all... Stars… Stars! Did you know -"

Santana watches with her mouth agape as Brittany rambles on about the galaxy and all its elements, watching as she draws pictures with her fingers across the desk and how her eyes light up every now and again. For a girl who didn't talk much, she sure had a lot to say when she did. Brittany abruptly stops when she notices that she had gone completely off track. Her cheeks turn hot and she quickly turns to face the front of the class again in embarrassment. Santana twists her mouth in away; not knowing how to react then remembers the origin of the conversation.

"Well I think reproduction is a waste of time, I hate kids." Santana announces, trying to get back on to the subject. Brittany licks her lip and glances at Santana through the corner of her eye.

"Why do you hate kids?" She asks before looking to the front again. Santana laughs, placing her palms on top of the desk.

"They're little shits! They make mess, they scream, they produce these grotesque snot bubbles, they have no sense of hygiene and they ask annoying fucking questions all the time! Plus, this body here…" Santana points up and down her torso. "Not made to be ruined by piss-farting kids."

"Ruined by kids?" Brittany repeats Santana's statement as a questions and Santana narrows her eyes.

"I'm a dancer and my body is flawless," She shrugs. "So why ruin it with a baby mutant parasite living and growing inside you?" She grimaces at the thought.

"I'd like to have children. I think. If I can…" Brittany was unsure if she could ever be intimate, but there was always technological science.

"Cool…" Santana mumbles, now texting on her cell. Brittany watches before her eyes widen when she suddenly realises that this is the longest civil conversation she's had with a near stranger for as long as she could remember. Brittany, now bashful and proud grins widely, feeling a surge of confidence as it courses through her. Maybe they could hang out after all? She opens her mouth to ask Santana a question until-

"Hey! You're Brittany right?" Brittany freezes mid breath, keeping her eyes on Santana but aware of the voice close behind her. She slowly turns her head to find a wide grinning Asian boy standing at the front of the desk causing Brittany to swallow her breath as she gulps down hard.

"Get lost Chang…" Santana orders him as she drops her cell on the desk to glare at the boy. Brittany shuffles further away from him feeling increasingly more uncomfortable.

"It's Mike, slut." He snaps, before smiling back to Brittany.

"Do you speak to your mother with that mouth? I bet you do." Santana sighs and looks round to Brittany whose head is buried in the desk as she struggles to fit the flaps on her mittens over her fingers.

"So, Brittany," Mike continues. "I figured out that you must be new because I would have spotted your pretty little face a while ago if you weren't."

"Please!" Santana scoffs, rolling her eyes. She diverts her attention to Brittany again and is taken aback when Brittany stares at her with pleading eyes and not looking anywhere else. Her eyes are intense and it makes Santana's palms tingle for a moment.

"I was just wondering, there's this place called Breadsticks…"

"Didn't you take that Glee loser there last week? What was her name? Tina?" Santana shakes her head.

"It was Asians night, okay?" Mike retorts.

"And didn't you use that '_Buy One Get a Meal Free_' coupon?" she teases.

"What's your point, Slutana?" Mike spits out.

"My point is that your lack of vocabulary offends me. My second point is that you shouldn't be bitter towards me just because I won't put out for you. And my final point is that I don't think Brittany wants to go out with a guy whose brain is the same size as his dick," Santana raises her hand and extends her pinkie to wiggle it. "Tiny," She finishes. Stunned, Mike drops his head as well as his tail between his legs and scuttles off.

"It's so satisfying when I make someone as repulsive as Mike feel like shit," Santana gleams, dusting off her hands as if she had done a good job but Brittany is still frozen with a deep crease forming between her brows. The bell rings and she still doesn't shift, Santana gathers her things and dashes out of the classroom without a word of goodbye, leaving Brittany to be seated alone.

Brittany wasn't thinking about her encounter with Mike but instead she was thinking more about the fact that Santana Lopez, a girl that she should hate and avoid at all costs, stood up for her. Giving herself a moment in the class, she eyes the space where Santana had sat before. No other person her age had _ever_ stood up for her. Brittany was ecstatic - a feeling that she hadn't experiences in a long time and a jolt of excitement bursts through her veins leaving her to laugh hysterically as she raises her head to face the ceiling. Once she falls from her high she notices Mr Brown at the front of the class room with one eye brow raised causing Brittany to bite her lip and muffle her excitement. She doesn't wait to explain and scrambles to gather her books before skipping out of the class only to run back in to pick up the bag that she left behind.

* * *

><p>Lunch approaches and the Cheerio's are sitting in their designated seating area at the top of the cafeteria. Santana sits at the end of the table picking through her salad while droning on about nationals to her team mates.<p>

"These outfits seriously _have_ to change!" Quinn complains.

"And you seriously need to get a nose job because that nasal talk is such a distraction; it makes your nagging unbearable," Santana sighs, dropping her fork. "Anyone got any aspirin?" Quinn grinds her teeth, irritated and pretty much fed up from Santana's constant digs.

"Sue isn't impressed with you, you know?" Quinn replies. "Your head clearly isn't in the right place so what's on your mind?" Quinn appears innocent but everyone knows she intends to pry.

"Nothing!" Santana snaps. "What's with you and your constant badgering?"

"I'm only concerned, Santana. Try-outs _are_ this week and Coach Sylvester is desperate for new talent. You don't want to slack off now and then be replaced further down the line, no?" This is exactly what Quinn hopes for but Santana just glowers at her.

"Umm… Santana?" An unusual voice comes from behind the group. The whole squad turns to find a hesitant Brittany standing pigeon-toed and hands clasped anxiously together. Santana widens her eyes immediately and shakes her head subtly as if to say 'not now'. Brittany dismisses her gesture and bites her lip, avoiding contact with the rest the audience even though the girls quickly begin to whisper.

"I… Uhh. I was wondering. I was wondering if I could… sit with you today?" She asks and a sudden wave of giggles erupts within the cheerleading table. However, Santana looks horrified.

"Santana, is she for real?" Quinn coughs out. Brittany swallows hard as her throat suddenly turns dry; she had been in this position many times before, she had been the laughing stock for a group of judgmental girls time and time again. How could she have been so stupid? She keeps her eyes on Santana whose face had turned beet-root red, hoping that she will say something.

"Your girlfriend wants to sit with you, Sanny!" Another girl joins in, cackling away. Santana closes her eyes and turns to face the table, leaving Brittany to stand by herself.

"Excuse me ladies." She snarls and another laughing dual starts as Santana rises from her chair before sprinting out of the cafeteria with Brittany closely following behind. Once they're away from the crowd of witnesses, Santana whips around, abruptly stopping Brittany in her tracks.

"What the _hell_ are you doing?" The fury in Santana's voice and face comes as a surprise for Brittany even though she wasn't expecting welcome cards and chocolates.

"I was…. I was wondering." Brittany struggles to come out with an explanation as she becomes more nervous and feels the nausea rise in her stomach.

"No. Don't," Santana finishes her off. "Nobody sits with us at lunch, and I definitely don't want to sit with you!" Santana laughs breathlessly at the absurdity of it all, shaking her head.

"I just thought… after you stood up for me in front of Mike?" Brittany squirms; her eyes look everywhere but on Santana.

"Assume nothing; I just can't stand the kid. Nothing to do with you anway," Santana whispers, making sure that nobody hears them in the hallway.

"I don't understand?"

"Of course you don't understand!" Santana blurts out, flapping her arms. "Try living in my shoes for one day, huh? You can go on about the stars and the birds and bees all you like but you have no common sense at all!" Santana's words prickle Brittany. "If I were to hang out with you I'd be as much of a clown and receive slushy facials on a daily basis!" Brittany bites her tongue and turns to the side to stop Santana from seeing the tears that sting her eyes.

"Someone like me?" Brittany's voice betrays her attempt to hide any negative emotions and Santana watches her for a moment has her chin begins to tremble. Santana covers her face with and a hand and sighs deeply.

"Listen, I know I may have led you on or something but I'm not a nice person. I don't do nice and just because you're my neighbour doesn't mean that I'm going to treat you any differently from everyone else. Do you understand?" Santana bobs her head, hoping that Brittany would understand. Brittany takes a moment to calm down before turning back to face Santana. Surprisingly she nods and smiles, wiping the damp from her eyes with her sleeves which only sends Santana into another rage.

"Wha… Why the fuck are you smiling?" Santana squeals.

"Thank you, Santana, for not treating me any differently from anyone else, really." Her grin grows as Santana's confusion reaches boiling point. Brittany looks into Santana's chocolate brown eyes with the most genuine gratitude and Santana's hard expression falters and softens. "It's a shame that you don't want to speak with me because I really like you Santana, even though you seem crazy at times," Brittany breaks contact as her eyes flutter back to the ground before she walks away, dragging a crumpled lunch bag in her right hand. Santana lingers alone in the hallway and can't help but feel heaviness. Was it a feeling of guilt? Whatever it was, Santana lifts her chin proudly, pretending to be unfazed before heading back to the cafeteria.

"Now there's something you don't see every day! Who was that?" Puck teases, rubbing Santana's now tense shoulders as she sits back in her chair.

"No one, just some girl who sits next to me in biology. She's kinda obsessed with me but I don't blame her." Santana jokes but finds her own statement humourless.

"That's perfect! Fresh meat to play with!" Puck starts

"I don't think so," Santana refuses by dropping her head into her salad, trying to avoid the subject

"Santana it's your turn to compel the new kid. You do this and you'll be on top of the pyramid permanently! Look at Finn, he convinced that loser JewFro to run naked for ten miles in the middle of nowhere and he got promoted to Quarterback. It's not about the quality; it's about the popularity at this school. Isn't that what you want? To earn your status here and be remembered forever?"

"I've worked hard for where I am," Santana mumbles.

"Just think about it this way, you do something that knocks everyone else's compulsion out the water and you'll never have to work hard at this school again. C'mon, she's a nobody," Finn agrees and Santana can feels the anticipating eyes burn into her back, causing her to think about it for a moment.

"Fine!" Santana gives in, pushing her bowl of salad away from her.

"Really?" Quinn squints from across the table. "You're gonna set some girl up on a pedestal only to tear her down for your own pleasure and social gain?" She continues. "What did she do to you?"

"Why do you care Fabray?" Santana growls, rising from her chair and storming away from the group for the final time.

* * *

><p>"So did you make any friends today, honey?" Grace asks Brittany as they enter their house. Brittany drops her bag by the door and slouches over the couch in the lounge.<p>

"Nope," Brittany says firmly but clearly disappointed. Grace nods, she was expecting that answer.

"There's always tomorrow, pumpkin." She smiles at her daughter who stares blankly out of the window.

"Santana Lopez from next door defended me from some boy who wanted to take me out to a place called Breadsticks." She said, keeping herself reserved and neutral. Grace drops her car keys in surprise which causes them to clash on the kitchen tiles before she runs through to join Brittany in the lounge.

"Wait, a boy wanted to take you out? And Santana defended you? What?" Grace was beaming, it was only her daughters first day at school and she was already getting asked out.

"I didn't accept. According to Santana, he wasn't very smart, held grudges and didn't hold much talent." She yawns.

"Look at you!" Grace smiles sweetly. "You're glowing, I'm so proud of you!" She claps her hands together.

The doorbell rings unexpectedly causing both mother and daughter to look at each other confused. Grace exits the lounge and Brittany can hear the door open and hears another girl's voice. After the door shuts Brittany listens to two pairs of feet pattering on the floor as they come closer before her mom re-enters the lounge and is accompanied by an anxious looking Santana.

"Look who it is!" Grace laughs. Santana waves awkwardly but mimics Brittany's dead-pan expression. "I'll leave you two girls alone!"

Santana shuffles her feet across the floor, pulling her sleeves over her hands nervously.  
>"Nice place you got here…" She tries to sound enthusiastic. Brittany eyes the eyes her for a moment before moving her attention onto a magazine.<p>

"I thought you didn't want to talk to me?" Brittany asks coldly, flicking through a page and Santana takes a deep breath.

"Yeah, about that. I want to… Apologise? It was rude what I said earlier," She clenches her jaw; Santana never found apologising easy, especially when she was in the wrong. "There's just a lot of stuff going on in my head right now. My mom is a psycho, nationals is around the corner, Quinn makes me want to gouge her eyes out, I have to impress Coach Sylvester and Puck won't leave me alone," Santana complains, plumping herself next to Brittany on the couch. Brittany tenses up for a moment when Santana moves close but then quickly relaxes again. "I'm hounded with problems every damn day and I took it out on you, I'm sorry. There." If only she knew what Brittany had to face every day.

"Apology accepted." Brittany states, now drawing doodles on the magazine with a ball point pen.

"Cool." Santana nods then smiles, mostly out of humiliation. "So…" she lingers on and Brittany whips her head around to face Santana.

"So?" She repeats Santana.

"You want to like… hang out for a while, or something?" Santana cringes inside.

"Hang out?"

"Yeah, like talk about stuff. We can share stories and if you must you can teach me all about astronomy." Santana says sarcastically. Brittany's face lights up again like it did back in biology class when she talked about constellations.

"You want to learn about astronomy?" She grins.

"Sure… Whatever," Santana puffs out, checking her perfectly manicured nails, not all that interested in the subject. Brittany shoots up to stand and reaches her mitted hand out to Santana whose eyes follows Brittany's arm to her hand.

"Come up to my room. There's something I want to show to you." Brittany says enthusiastically. Santana swallows and takes a grip of Brittany's hand as the feeling of discomfort churns inside her. Suddenly, Santana's cell vibrates causing her to jump and Brittany looks at her weirdly. She retrieves the device from her pocket and proceeds to read a text before turning to Brittany and smiling.

"You go up. I'll be there right behind you," Santana tells her and Brittany nods before racing up the stairs and into her bedroom. Santana looks back at her cell which reads:

**Noah Puckerman:****  
><strong>_**Any progress?**_

Santana bites her lip. Did she really want to do this? She hears Brittany clattering around upstairs looking for God knows what before Santana smiles in amusement and shakes her head replies:

**Santana Lopez:**  
><em><strong>This is going to be a piece of cake<strong>_.

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter II<em>


	3. Chapter III

_**CHAPTER III**_

* * *

><p>It's the quietest hour of the evening and not even the nocturnal creatures of the night can be heard. Santana Lopez takes advantage of moments like these, having time to think about everything and anything – it was the only time she could. Tonight she sits on her window ledge, letting her legs dangle freely and holds a torch in her right hand.<p>

_Click_.

She turns the device on and points the light on the back of her left hand.

_Click_.

Did Anita really mean what she said about her father? Now that Santana was calm, she couldn't recollect a moment that made her believe that he didn't care.

_Click_.

"_You'll always be my number one girl_." Santana can still hear her father's warm, southern voice in the back of her mind. "_And I will always love you_." It reminded her of coffee.

_Click_.

Days before he had left, he tucked a young Santana into bed and stayed with her until she fell asleep, humming various tunes that he made up on the spot. Santana remembers his dark chocolate brown eyes soaring deep in to hers, looking as if he was the proudest father on the planet. God, she missed him.

_Click_.

But then why did he just suddenly leave?

_Click_.

"_He doesn't give a shit about you, Santana_"

_Click_.

Santana lets the light burn away at her hand as she allows herself to be vulnerable and feel like a child again. Tears well up in the corners of her eyes and cascade down her cheeks that fall off like fragile snowdrops in to the dark abyss of the night. She shivers in the cold as the wind envelopes her body, sending uncomfortable chills down her neck. Santana hated when people saw her cry and she was in no position to show any sign of weakness, especially at school. '_Bottle it up, seal the jar and get over it_.' Her mother used to always say. And so Santana did bottle it up, keeping every minuscule feeling that betrayed her proud external persona locked away deep inside her chest. Then at nights like these, she would find the darkest space and just cry it all out. It was nights like these that Santana realised she had lost all happiness, and nothing could bring that back.

_Click_.

She closes her eyes now as she raises her left hand up to the sky and spreads out her fingers. When she opens them, she finds the dots which glow in a luminous yellow painted across her skin. As a tear falls down her cheek, a wide smile appears across her mouth. She glances from her hand to the sky which is dusted with stars, switching back and forth. The dots on her hand are co-ordinated to that of Orion's belt, the constellation that shines right above her. She then glances over to Brittany's window.  
>"Magic." She whispers. Maybe a little smudge of happiness was still left.<p>

* * *

><p><em>[A few hours earlier]<em>

"You won't be able to see it, because it's a special type of paint. But it's magic. Well… Not really, it's actually just phosphorescent paint; scientifically speaking there's no such thing as magic." Brittany muses as she dots invisible spots on the back of Santana's hand, who sits with furrowed brows and looking as if someone just asked her how many rooms are in the empire state building. She looks at Brittany's hands which are covered by white latex gloves as she prods the paintbrush into the small tub.

"If you can't see the paint, then how can you know you're doing it right?" Santana challenges.

"It's like memorising a map, if you travel in that direction long enough then you won't need it after a while. But maps are great recourses so I would always keep one just in case." Santana nods at Brittany's answer, she did have a point.

"Bet you couldn't do it blind, though." Santana jokes. Brittany freezes her hand and purses her lips, her eyes flicker to Santana's.

"Yes." She confidently states. Santana snorts in doubt but Brittany dips the brush into the bottle of paint again, tightens her grip on Santana's hand and smiles at her before squeezing her eyes shut. Santana watches Brittany, making sure that she doesn't cheat before looking down at their hands together, Brittany holds onto her firmly. She swallows, looking back up to Brittany whose smile doesn't waver.  
>Despite being fair haired and fair skinned, Brittany has thick eyelashes that cast shadows into the blues of her eyes. Santana wants Brittany to open them again so she could have a look but immediately questions herself internally for having such thought.<p>

"So this star is Betelgeuse, on the right shoulder and this is Rigel, on the left foot." Brittany dots on Santana's hand precisely. Santana watches, feeling the cold paint across her hand despite being unable to actually see anything. "Bellatrix is the Amazon star that's placed on the left shoulder. She's my favourite. Mintaka is on the belt, real name Delta Orionis." Brittany speaks assertively, causing Santana to break out into a smile. Santana has no idea what she's talking about but she stays silent, letting Brittany paint away. "Alnitak or Zita Orionis here… Finally, Saiph is on the right foot!" Brittany's eyes snap open and she giggles excitedly causing Santana to choke out a few chuckles as well. "Shine a light here…" Brittany stokes the top of Santana's hand with her thumb. "Then, go into the darkness, and you'll see". Santana frowns and retreats her hand, clutching it in her lap. Brittany pauses and takes in Santana's expression. "What?" She asks. Santana glances up at Brittany, feeling awkward.

"You're weird." Santana bluntly states. Brittany perks up before dropping her gaze to her hands as she rubs them together nervously. However, Santana doesn't keep quiet this time. "You always seem so… Guarded, like if someone does so much as even look at you at school it's like you want to run away into a corner and hide. Then suddenly you burst out with so much energy that your enthusiasm could light a thousand rooms." Santana starts. Brittany's eyes have shifted back to her as she listens attentively. "You barely talk, but when you do you talk so passionately. Except when you're being awkward as fuck. Then after you've stopped talking, you just dead-pan again. It's weird. I mean, look at me. Why the hell, out of everyone at our school, would you want to talk to me? I'm a conniving bitch." She states honestly.

"I don't think you're a bitch." Brittany replies innocently. Santana pauses and has to stop herself from smiling. Instead, she sighs and softly shakes her head.

"It's all just a little bit schizophrenic. No offense, I don't even know you…" She shrugs. But Santana was right. She had perfectly described Brittany in a nutshell and Brittany watches her, knowing this. That's why she speaks to Santana. She may not know it herself, but Santana _knew_Brittany. Maybe that's why Santana was sitting in Brittany's room right now. If it were anyone else, there would have been no chance of Santana hanging out with them.

"I'm not schizophrenic." Brittany breaks the silence and Santana's thread of thought. Santana raises an eyebrow, expecting an explanation. Should Brittany tell her? They'd not known each other more than two days. Brittany weighs her options, getting more and more reluctant. If that secret was to get out to school. "I… I umm. I have." Brittany struggles, and Santana ducks her head, coaxing for an answer. But then again, it was expected for people to finally find out about Brittany's condition. "I…" She bites her lip as her eyes race around the room, looking for something to grab her attention away from Santana. "I have to go to bed. Santana, I have to go to bed!" She finally blurts out.

"Oh…" Santana replies surprised. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?" Brittany turns to her without making eye contact but nods in reply.

"Goodnight Santana, thanks for hanging out with me." Brittany says with a tight lipped smile. Santana rolls her eyes jokingly and stands up and wipes her jeans.

"So weird." She playfully whispers before exiting the room. Brittany stands still and waits till she can hear the front door close. When it does, Brittany eyes the mess left in the room and ignores it. She walks over to her bed instead and falls down on the mattress, clutches her duvet and smiles like she had just won the lottery.

* * *

><p>"She talked about the stars and all its fucking constellations." Santana complains, flailing her arms around in distress as she shares her encounter with Brittany for everyone to hear. The jocks and cheerleaders all laugh hysterically, but Santana can't find the heart to play along. The heaviness on her shoulders has returned and she knows why.<p>

"This girl is such a retard!" Finn cackles but Santana shoots him a glare. As Santana narrates the events of last night to the group like a teacher reading a story to a bunch of kids, Quinn stands to the back of the crowd, watching Santana curiously. Santana rubs the top of her left hand, and kicks her leg nervously across the concrete as she walks. The group assembles to their usual spot at the benches outside and wait for the first bell to ring. Quinn notices Santana to be less fiery, which was strange because whenever Santana bitched about someone, then she really went off. In attempt to get a better reaction, Quinn squeezes to the front of the group and in front of Santana.

"Why don't you invite your friend over to Puck's party on Friday night? Introduce her to all of us," Quinn smiles, flicking her eyelids innocently.

"Uhh… No," Santana disregards the question completely. Quinn stares expectantly at Santana who sighs and lifts herself from the bench. "It's not like she'll agree to go, she is the most socially awkward person on the planet. She wouldn't go even if you dragged her by a leash," Santana replies, nudging her way out from the core of the group.

"So there's no other reason, no?" Quinn pry's on as usual to which Santana ignores and continues walking towards the school. "Because Coach Sylvester has an eye on your little friend," Quinn adds, smiling in a cocky manner when Santana stops. "And you know her patience with you is running thin."

Santana frowns, not wanting to believe that Sue was looking to replace her, especially for someone like Brittany.

"You may be on top now, Santana. But for how much longer?" Quinn teases. "Imagine how twisted it would be if blondie was actually just putting on an act and then suddenly she's been swept underneath Sues arm, fucking up your chances of remaining captain on this team. I'd say step up your game..."

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer," Puck adds, causing Santana to jump back out her state of mind...

"I'll keep an eye on her," She states and watches as Quinn's, Finn's and Puck's faces light up with satisfaction.

"Speak of the Devil" Quinn sings and nods in Brittany's direction before they all turn to watch her in the parking lot, struggling to free her t-shirt that is jammed between the car door. Santana cringes and hangs her head. "Time to go and work your magic_, Lespez_." Quinn chuckles and Santana shoots her a dirty look before turning back and descending off, making sure the group gets a clear view of her middle finger.

Santana couldn't admit it, but she actually enjoyed herself last night as odd as it felt for her. It was the first time in a long time that she actually paid attention to someone other than herself. As she walks closer to Brittany she can't shake the weights that have been tied to her shoulders, adding guilt to her bag of burdens. Whoever this girl was, as scheming as Santana or as pure as water, one way or the other, she was going to get hurt.

"Momma, my shirt. My shirt. It is stuck!" Brittany pulls at the fabric before meeting eyes with Santana who is strutting across the grass towards her. Santana's red cheer uniform fits perfectly onto her petit frame and makes her sun kissed legs appear smooth and tall, despite her small height. She throws a small wave at Brittany, shimming her fingers with a soft smile that Brittany genuinely returns.

"Need a little help there?" Santana asks when she approaches Brittany next to the car; she opens the door, setting Brittany free and peaks inside to be greeted by Grace. "Don't worry, Mrs Pierce. I'll take great care of her." Santana didn't sound at all convincing but Grace is so delighted by the idea of Brittany having a friend that it flies right by her.

"You two girls have fun now!" Grace smiles as the appreciation oozes out of her eyes. Santana winks before shutting the door and turns back towards Brittany to critique her choice of clothing for the day. Brittany wears denim cut shorts with a strapless floral designed shirt. Grey socks travel up to the middle of her milky thighs and leg warmers hug at her arms. Santana notices that she's wearing mittens again like the previous day and finally, a scarf is wrapped around her neck.

"Why are you staring at me?" Brittany asks.

"I'm so judging you right now." Santana answers thoughtlessly. Brittany's face drops like she had just been slapped. Santana rolls her eyes and clicks her tongue. "Don't look like I killed your dog!" Santana laughs.

"I don't have a dog." Brittany shifts her weight from one foot to the other, clearly confused at what Santana was getting at.

"No. All I'm saying is that… Your outfit is a mystery to me. You're just one big fat mystery to me."

"Are you calling me fat?" Brittany's reaction is acquitted.

"No!" Santana chuckles, waving her hand in the air. "Let's go." Santana tilts her head towards the school doors, smiling. Brittany immediately relaxes and they both make their way to class. On the way, Santana quickly glances at the group sitting on the benches who are all watching her like hawks. Quinn has her attention fixated on Brittany and can only shake her head.

The duo walks side by side through the school halls with Brittany edging as close as possible to the wall. Brittany notices that something's changed as they walk through the corridors this time; the eyes that used to prey on her were now directed towards Santana. The other students throw questioning looks at the cheerleader, pointing her out through the crowd and whispering in each other's ears. Brittany too looks at Santana who's hiding her face behind her books, her cheeks are burning red and her eyes are glued to the floor.

"Why are they staring, Santana? Why are they looking at you like that?" Brittany asks innocently. Santana doesn't reply and instead picks up her pace. "Santana?" Santana clenches her teeth and corners Brittany to the entry of an open classroom as eyes burn ferociously on her back. The pair shuffles into the shadows where it's harder to be seen.

"They're confused." Santana whispers. "You have to understand that I don't just hang out with anyone. Especially the new girl who's dressed like a shitting Eskimo on vacation in Hawaii. I don't do this. Ever." She states, looking around, making sure that nobody is eavesdropping.

"Then why are you doing this?" Brittany folds her arms. Santana stands back as she struggles for an answer and bites her lip. Brittany's eyes don't leave Santana's.

"Well…I" Santana stutters out and gives a petty, nervous laugh. "You know…" Santana really wasn't the one to be interrogated.

"I really don't." Brittany replies back. Santana frowns and feels a wave of defence creeping up on her.

"Why are you so damn curious all the time? Why do you always ask fucking questions?" Santana spits out. She takes one look at Brittany and immediately regrets it. Brittany's eyes grow wide with surprise then murky with offense. Santana internally curses to herself and tries to take it back. "Brittany. I'm so sorry. I'm just as confused as you are. I have questions too, this is all just. I don't know. Three days, this is crazy!" She laughs pathetically. "Everything's happening so fast, not with just you but with everything. I didn't mean to lash out. I'm sorry." Santana apologises to Brittany for the second time in two days. Brittany watches as Santana dips her head towards the ground ashamed.

"If you want to ask me questions, just ask me." Brittany says. Santana lifts her head and nods.

"We can talk, but not here. I think it's better if we-"

"Well, well, well." A familiar low groan of a voice chants out. Both girls turn to find Sue emerging from the shadows. "Fancy seeing you both here, all snuggled up in the depths of depression, hiding in the shadows of your own self-pity. What do you have to say for yourselves?" Sue asks. Santana just rolls her eyes, but Brittany backs away, knowing that she doesn't do well in Sue's presence. "Santana, shouldn't you have been in the gym for cheer practice five minutes ago? Your childish temper tantrum yesterday was insulting. I'd watch your behaviour you squirt; you're on a very_, very_thin line right now." Santana sulks, looking over at Brittany as they exchange a silent goodbye. Sue blocks the view of Santana as she walks away, standing right in front of Brittany. "And where were you last night?"

"In my house." Brittany answers quickly, dropping her gaze and looking at her hands.

"I expected you to be at the cheer try-outs." Sue pushes.

"I… I d-don't want to be a cheerleader. Thank-you." Brittany smiles swiftly in an attempt to be polite then scurries away.

From a far Santana watches from the gym entrance, why the hell was Coach Sylvester so interested in Brittany? Santana did not like this one bit. _Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer_. She hears in the back of her mind.

* * *

><p>"Every damn second is a new fucking question, ugh!" Santana curses out her new frustrations to the rest of the cheer group while they change in the locker room. "And now the coach is all up in her grill as if she wants a piece of her white ass. What a joke, girl is as stiff as a cane." The rest of the girls nod in agreement.<p>

"Why don't you invite her to Puck's party on Friday? That way you both can talk and dig up some background info." A cheerleader suggests. Santana snaps her head up.

"Now I think that's a capital idea. Well done you." She pats the cheerleader on the top of the head. Quinn nudges past the girl, clearly annoyed.

"I said the exact same thing this morning!" She protests.

"Shut up, Fabray." Santana replies, and closes her locker, walking out of the room. Scheming or water, Santana was going to get to the bottom of Brittany. Nobody ever threatened her chance of remaining captain and she was adamant that it was going to stay the same. No matter who it was.

* * *

><p>Brittany sits patiently at her desk in biology with her books laid neatly out in front of her, making sure that they didn't cross on to Santana's side of the table. Santana's chair appears empty as more class mates start to fill the room. Brittany was surprised at how barely anyone paid remotely any attention to her, and even when they did, the majority of the time it was to point out that she was the 'new girl'. She twiddles her thumbs while deep in thought. Was it time to tell Santana about her condition or was it too soon? They only knew each other three days, but at the same time she felt as if she knew Santana a lot longer. When the secret is finally out, how long will it be until it spreads and seeps into the knowledge of the whole student body? Brittany much preferred being a no body; it was just easier that way, so maybe, the student here didn't need to find out. She could live being the weird socially awkward girl at school without the clinically correct label.<br>A school back slams on the desk space beside Brittany and a glowing Santana beams down.

"Can I ask you something?" She chirps. Brittany raises her eyebrows at her change of attitude.

"How ironic for you ask that." Brittany mumbles, but can't help but crack a smile. Santana gasps as she fits into her seat.

"Was that a joke? Did you just make a joke? _Amazing_!" Santana plays along while emptying the contents of her bag on to the desk. A giggle escapes Brittany's mouth as she tries to copy the work from the board. "But in all seriousness, my friend is having a party at his house Friday night. Come along?" Brittany doesn't reply, and now wears a tight line across her lips. "Brittany?"

"I… I don't think so. I'd rather not." She replies sadly. Santana frowns. She at thought that if Brittany was screwing with her then at least she would have jumped to the idea of getting involved with the quality squad.

"Why not? It's a party and his parents are out of town." Santana sulks. Brittany takes a deep breath and rubs her sweaty palms. Here was too honesty.

"I've never been to a party before." Santana watches as the light in Brittany's eyes dim. Wow, she was good. While Brittany was pretending to be some innocent, feel-sorry-for-me girl, Santana was pretending to be some semi-good Samaritan.

"Well… There's a first time for everything!" Santana enthuses, trying to stay positive but Brittany just shakes her head to Santana's gesture.

"I can't. I'm sorry." She groans, clearly disappointed in herself. Santana holds her head in her hands and sighs deeply. This girl was the most stubborn, most complicated, most confusing, most god damned fashionably challenged, most…

"Why the hell does it bother me so much? FUCK!" Santana shouts out, of course her optimistic attitude could only be short lived, it was just too hard. Before she realises, twenty sets of eyes are all looking at her, including Brittany's. Her face turns red and in a quick attempt to explain, she clears her throat. "Uh, the fabric… On my uniform… It itches." She coughs out sheepishly. Brittany can't help but bite her bottom lip in amusement, trying to stifle a smile. Santana watches Brittany, swimming in her naivety. Santana was clearly confused; there was no way this chick had enough balls to pull the red carpet from underneath her. Brittany was like the dictionary with the font size of a pin. She presented everything but was unreadable. "Brittany! Just come with me, I really want you to go!" She pouts and pulls at her cheer uniform in frustration. "_I'll even sing with you, we can do a little sing song if it makes you happy_." Brittany immediately recognises her sarcastic tone of voice, it reminded her of the girls back in St. Mary's and the way they used to patronise her.

"Are you making fun of me?" Brittany asks seriously. Santana leans back in defence, surprised by her question.

"What? No! I would just really like it if you came; I want to get to know you more. Please?" Santana asks softly and apologetically. Brittany finishes writing and raises her head, looking straight into Santana's eyes, searching for any truth in her statement. Santana is always caught off guard when Brittany looks at her. Yes, her eyes were incredible but maybe it was because she saw so little of them that it was always a pleasant surprise to be looked at once in a while, especially when Brittany looked at Santana like nobody else did, it was as if Brittany actually _saw_her. "What is it?" Santana asks nervously as Brittany watches her.

"If I come to the party, can we please talk? There's a lot I need to tell you." The intensity in Brittany's eyes show that she wasn't kidding around. Santana gulps and breaks eye contact to watch her hands, hidden by the familiar mittens that are clasped together. This_ is_what Santana wanted.

"Sure." Santana shrugs. And there was that weight again, crumbling on top of her back.

"I need to know that I can trust you, Santana. I need to know that I'll be safe." Santana can't look at her. What if this girl _was_ genuine? Grace was rather protective and even her own mother said she had some sort of disorder. What if Brittany was in fact, the nicest girl in the world? And here she was befriending the nastiest girl in the world. All she wanted to do was to be able to trust Santana. The wailing of Anita's voice suddenly creeps into Santana's head, shaking her from her thoughts. '_If you doubt someone, no matter how little, never trust them. Ever_.' With that, Santana nods and looks back at Brittany.

"You can trust me." She says boldly. Brittany nods and smiles even though internally, she feels sick. All of those people would be surrounding her at the party, where it would be claustrophobic and warm and where people were most likely to be handsy.

* * *

><p>Brittany swallows hard, but can't seem to get rid of the lump that's stuck in the back of her throat. Her hands tap nervously in a rhythm against the sides of her thighs as the common erratic pulse courses through her body. She stands in front of the mirror of her room like she has done so many times before, making decisions. She concludes that she absolutely did not have to go to the party tonight, even more so, that she shouldn't. But Santana gave Brittany her word, and that meant everything to her. Brittany wanted to change, she wanted to have this kind of experience with the hope that she'd be able to cope better in time and get accustomed to these sorts of environments. In the past, Brittany was offered help, she was offered counselling and advice but she always declined. She was stubborn that way. She could never let her guard down in front of strangers, she was too afraid of being ripped apart. But then why was Santana an exception?<p>

"I'm heading out." Santana announces, applying lip gloss in front of the kitchen mirror. When she's satisfied, she winks and blows a kiss to herself, smacking her lip off her hand. Anita sits at the table next to her, concentrating on paper work.

"And where are you going?" Anita tilts her head down, staring above her glasses.

"Puck's having some friends over, you know?"

"Well no drink or drugs, I'm sure having an alcoholic junkie for a daughter will surely help to boost my reliability in my campaign for mayor." Anita accuses sarcastically. Santana furrows her eyebrows and turns to her mother.

"You're trying out for Mayor?" Santana asks, surprised. Anita nods but Santana just snorts and shakes her head. "Well I guess if Sarah Palin could get to where she got, then I guess anything's possible!" Anita rolls her eyes as Santana flees out of the house.

Brittany's heart is hammering against her chest now, her palms are damp with sweat and the heat bites at her skin, leaving her feeling restless. She gulps down a glass of water and sits like a bag of nerves on her bed, head hung and eyes clamped shut.

"You know the party aint in Alaska." A familiar voice sounds. Brittany raises her head and watches as Santana leans against the door frame, arms crossed and eyes flickering up and down Brittany's body, almost looking like a stranger. Santana wears her hair down this time, letting the loose raven ringlets fall behind her back. Her red cheer uniform is replaced by a blue stripe, short skin tight dress with her sleeves scrunched up to her elbows, and wears matching blue heels which only elongate her legs further. For the more clothes Brittany wore, Santana wore less. "You look like you about to suffocate, are the gloves and the hat_ really _that necessary? It's like a million degrees in here."

"Yes!" Brittany replies abruptly, a frown embeds on her face. Santana takes one look at her and knows something is up.

"What's wrong?" Santana asks, moving closer to her. Brittany takes a couple of deep breaths.

"I.. I d-don't think I can go. It's all too much for me at the moment." Disappointed in herself, Brittany falls on to her bed and hides her face with her hands. Santana watches at the door, as Brittany rolls around, clearly distressed.

"Are you afraid that no one will like you?" Santana asks. Looking at the turmoil that Brittany was in, this had to be wrong. "Because I spoke to them and they're completely cool with you going." She tries to encourage her. But Brittany can only shake her head beneath her hands.

"No I'm not afraid that they won't like me, Santana! What if they make _fun_of me? I don't think I can handle it again." Brittany shouts into her pillow. Brittany's reaction startles Santana, but she quietly makes her way to the bed and carefully kneels down beside her feet. Unsure whether to comfort Brittany or even what to say, Santana sits for a while, watching Brittany as she cowers in humiliation. A small sob escapes Brittany's lips. Santana closes her eyes in responsibility and swallows hard. What the fuck was she doing? Here she was, the bitch that she is, taking an insecure girl out of her comfort zone, only to ruin her reputation to save her own and for what? For people to like her and respect her a little more? To record her status down on paper that no one will give a fuck about in a couple of years? Surely pulling this kind of stunt was the furthest thing from respectable. Santana starts humming uncomfortably while she fights her inner conflicts and takes one last look at Brittany, her puffed red eyes standing out through her broken expression. Fuck it. Santana scoots up beside Brittany and sits next to her on the edge of the bed.

"Hey, we don't have to go to the party. Not at all." Santana smiles down at Brittany who looks up quizzically.

"W-Why aren't you g-going?" Brittany stutters before hiccupping. Santana just shrugs and makes a popping noise with her mouth.

"Believe me, there will be _plenty _of other opportunities. Besides, I thought tonight was about us getting to know each other a bit more?" Brittany snivels and nods softly.

"I understand." She whispers. Santana widely beams and her attention moves once again to Brittany's wardrobe.

"You must feel like you're in a fuckin' sauna." She laughs; speaking the way Santana only knew how to. Brittany giggles, nodding and begins to remove the garments. First it's her woolly hat, then her gloves and then finally her extra-large hoodie. Santana hands her a tissue and Brittany wipes her eyes. "Much Better." Santana whispers. Even though Santana's change in attitude was positive, the prospect couldn't have felt more foreign to her. She never let anybody see her like this, she didn't want them to. But for some unexplainable reason, Santana Lopez showed a stranger, a girl who she had known for less than a week, empathy towards her. Santana tightly smiles at her and reaches to rub Brittany's arm in comfort.

The electricity jolts through Brittany's body first and her eyes automatically snap to where Santana's hand makes contact with her skin. Second the tingles that jag at Brittany's palms spreads across her skinlike a nettle rash. Third her heartbeat crashes against her chest which quickly increases in speed. Forth, her stomach tightens and fifth, the dizziness and nausea sets in, all within a split second.

Santana must have noticed the change in Brittany's expression; she looked as if she had just seen a ghost. Suddenly, Brittany flees to the other side of the room, with her arms protectively shielding her torso and pants frantically. Her eyes scream at Santana with an unrecognizable expression and all Santana can do is watch frozen from the bed, completely bewildered.

"You c-can't… You can't do that… Santana, you…" Brittany croaks, taking heavy breaths between words. Santana sees Brittany's tears gleam in her eyes, smudging the blue like a painting. Brittany bites hard on her lip and turns to face the wall, turning her back on Santana for the second time this week. Santana doesn't move, she doesn't even blink. She just sits and waits until Brittany regulates her breathing again. "I'm so embarrassed." Brittany murmurs, barely loud enough for anyone to hear. Santana immediately finds her feet and walks over to Brittany, carrying the hoodie and hands it over to Brittany. Brittany quickly flashes a sad smirk in thanks and throws it over her head, fitting back into it.

"There's no need to feel embarrassed, Brittany." Santana tries. She had no idea what had just happened and if it were Santana who acted like that, then she wouldn't show her face in public for at least a decade. Brittany can only shake her head and frown deeply, sniffling away.

"Why are you so nice to me, Santana?" Brittany asks, looking back up at the cheerleader. Santana again, struggles to answer her question so instead, she just looks into Brittany's eyes, marking every detail. She was so beautiful when she cried. "You should be focusing on Nationals; you're so busy that you don't even have time for your real friends." Brittany adds. Real friends? Who _were_ Santana's real friends? Santana didn't have any _real_ friends. Santana contemplates deeply, trying to make sense of the last week.

"The first night I spoke to you was the first night I actually felt good in a _really_ long time." She admits and even catches herself off guard. Brittany wipes her eyes and shakes her head.

"But… You weren't very friendly. Not at all, actually. You intimidated me." Brittany replies honestly. Santana grimaces.

"That song that I was singing, Gypsy Girl? I heard playing from your bedroom window earlier that night and it kinda got stuck in my head." Santana laughs. "Anyway, that song reminds me of a time when I always felt earnest, innocent and just so gratified. I really needed to feel like that again, Brittany. The song really means a lot to me." Brittany nods, understanding. "I know I may appear as tough as nails and act like I'm constantly on speed but anything like that directed towards you is not personal, not at all. I guess I can say that we both have our issues that we need to come to terms with." Santana finishes. Brittany watches the realisation hit Santana's face and they both soak into a calm silence of thought for a moment. Brittany then nudges Santana through her sleeve.

"Come for a walk with me?" Brittany asks gingerly. Santana looks conflicted; her own revelations have come as a surprise to her and she knows that she's going to have to start dealing with it without bottling anymore crap. "Santana?" Santana snaps out of her daydream and looks to Brittany apologetically.

"I'm sorry; I'm just not used to this_..._ And I'm kinda freaked out about what just happened, like, you just totally freaked out on me, dude." Santana trails off. Brittany blushes but confidently holds a mitten up, offering a hand for Santana .

"Come for a walk with me, and I'll explain everything."

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter III<em>

**_Thanks for the reviews, they really motivate me to write.  
><em>_Look forward to some fluff in chapter 4!_**


	4. Chapter IV

_AN: Sorry for taking a while to update; college homework sucks. But thank-you for your patience!_

_**CHAPTER IV**_

* * *

><p>Santana huddles up on the lonely park bench, bending her legs and hugging her knees. The air is icier tonight, sending cold whispers down the back of her neck and causing Goosebumps to appear on her arms. Her eyes never leave Brittany's silhouette that is cast under the brilliant moon, illuminating the whole park. Brittany sits on the swing and pushes herself back and forth softly, causing the metal from the chains to creak and moan. Her blonde hair looks silver under the transcendent light, and her skin glows immaculately whenever she leans back. No words are spoken between the two girls for a good twenty minutes as Santana watches her on the swing; sitting alone, fragile and ghostly yet mesmerising as if she were an angel. It wouldn't come as a surprise to Santana if she was just imagining this and in reality, Brittany never actually existed. After all, this week had definitely been out of the ordinary. Maybe it got to the point where Santana just had enough of her mother, always bickering and burdening her down to Santana's own self deprivation. Maybe she gave up on school because she was incapable of trying to suit everyone else bar herself. Maybe her heart just left when her father did, and she was just now realising. There's a point in life when you're stuck at two roads; the first road is where the sun beams down, flowers are springing in all colours of the rainbow and it's the one you've always known to walk down; it was the familiar path. The other road was the darker path, full of doubt yet the most desirable. It's the one that changes your life right around. And for some reason, people always found themselves walking down the darker road. Was Santana there? She looks back at Brittany who was still swinging. Was Brittany leading her down the darker path?<p>

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Brittany asks as her swinging comes to a halt. Santana breaks out from her thoughts and decides to avoid the question.

"How are the stars over there?" She replies instead. The duo still had not spoken about their previous encounter in Brittany's bedroom; they just walked in silence until they ended up at the park. Both girls were afraid to admit their problems and thus agreed to wait until they were in a comfortable place. Brittany looks up at the night sky and squints under the moon.

"They're definitely out tonight, it's a shame there's so much light around. They would have been wonderful to watch." Brittany ponders before swinging again. Santana nods to herself then smiles. Maybe tonight she wouldn't have to take either path. And instead, she decides to walk down a third, one that she hadn't taken in a while.

"C'mon." Santana replies. "There's something I wanna show you." Brittany stops swinging again and waits for reassurance from Santana who can only gloat at her hesitation. "Trust me?" She asks. Brittany finally nods and follows Santana as she moves away from the bench to the exit, as they leave the play park side by side.

* * *

><p>The girls don't speak much during their journey to wherever Santana was taking them, apart from '<em>Watch out'<em> and '_Step over here'_ as they descend in to a dark forest that was filled with ghoulish tails by the rumour mill, where Santana could have been as lost as Brittany. As they journey deeper into the wood, eeriness begins to creep around like a panther preying on its helpless victim.

"Do you know where we're going?" Brittany asks, a little shaken. Santana stops and inspects her surroundings.

"I think so? These woods aren't that big, I'm sure we'll find it sooner or later." She shivers, getting a lot colder now. Brittany fans her face and takes a seat on a large rock beside her. "You okay?" Santana asks. Brittany just nods and puffs out a burst of air.

"I'm just hot with this sweater on." She sniffs as she takes the piece of clothing off.

"Really? I'm freezing! I could sure use something like that." Santana debates, rubbing her arms.

"That's because you barely have any clothes on." Brittany states. Santana raises an eyebrow and scoffs when Brittany doesn't offer her the sweater.

"May I… Wear your sweater, just to keep warm?" She asks politely. She was getting good at this.

"Sure." Brittany accepts but holds onto the garment, eyeing the trembling Santana. Santana furrows her brows after waiting a few moments for Brittany to hand over the sweater but ultimately does not. Awkwardly, Santana reaches to take it, carefully prying it away from Brittany's fingers with the most befuddled expression. Brittany doesn't take notice and instead sets her sights on an old rabbit burrow next to the rock. Santana shakes her head before letting her eyes roam across the wooded forest and she instantly notices a mite-bitten tree stump in the distance that crumbles under the damp and mould. Slowly she starts towards the tree, leaving Brittany to inspect the abandoned tunnel at her feet. As Santana approaches closer, she feels a familiar lump in the back of her throat but can't help and embrace this moment as bittersweet. When she reaches the inanimate stub, she raises her hand and brushes away some of the dirt and due from the wood as if she were dusting off an old book. And there it was; the initials that she hadn't come across in almost ten years. She squints under the faint light but can make out the acronyms '_SL'_ followed by the words, '_and_ _Papa'_. Her breath catches but she remains quiet and just closes her eyes for a moment, letting her memories feed into her mind. The forest is quiet but she can make out her father's voice and can vaguely make a picture in her head.

_Papa, can trees talk to each other?_

_Of course they can! They're just like us!_

_But how do you know if you can't hear them?_

_Listen to the leaves in the wind, and then you'll know._

_Can you speak to trees Papa?_

_I sure can, I speak to them all the time. I've asked them to look after you. So if you ever feel lost or confused, just come here and they will guide you to the right direction…_

Santana opens her eyes as she feels the butterflies jitter in her stomach. She tilts her head and faces up to the sky where the leaves whistle and whisper in the air. She clenches her teeth but can't help but feel the joyous moment that tugs at her heart. She stays there for a few moments, resting her head on the bark and swimming in her memories, trying to sieve out the best moments she used to spend here with her father.

"Santana?" Brittany questions her sudden change in demeanour. Santana whips her head around in surprise to find Brittany approaching behind. Santana takes and deep breath and shakes her hands before pointing north.

"This way, Slowpoke." She jokes, confidently leading the way trying not to leave any trace of emotion in her voice.

"Isn't Slowpoke a Pokémon?" Brittany asks. "I remember playing precisely, the Game Boy Color, nineteen nighty-eight. Pokémon Red. Donkey Kong too…" she trails off stumbling over wet leaves and logs trying to catch up with Santana's laughter echoing in front that led the way.

* * *

><p>The girls' walk for another ten minutes through the branches and cobwebs but not without taking a few tumbles on the way. The closer they approach their final destination the more anxious that they become and as they arrive at the fringe of the forest, Santana abruptly stops and turns to Brittany.<p>

"What happened back in your room, Brittany?" She asks forwardly.

"Are we here?" She avoids the question. Santana shakes her head.

"No but almost. I need to know what happened back in your room." She asks again. Brittany swallows hard and looks at her feet. Santana finds a nearby fallen tree and sits on the stalk patiently and waiting. Brittany kicks the leaves under her feet as she twists and bites her lips nervously. "Please?" Santana asks one more time. Brittany sighs, lulling her back but joins Santana on the tree.

"I panicked." She reveals bluntly. "I have Aphephobia and I panicked when you touched my arm.".

"Affa-whatta?" Santana frowns, completely oblivious to the term. Brittany just shakes her head.

"Aphephobia. I have a fear of being touched physically. I was diagnosed when I was five along with my Asperger's, but I have always had that." Brittany didn't look phased. In-fact, she was talking like she was educating some pupil, in a patronising tone at that. Santana just sits and listens with her mouth agape.

"Okay, so. You have, like, this phobia of being touched and something else which I have no understanding of…" Santana concludes. Brittany just shrugs and lifts herself from the rock.

"Welcome to my world." She mumbles before she starts to wonder around, looking for a distraction.

"Wait!" Santana interrupts, quickly following behind. "What does it mean?" She asks. Brittany stops and gives Santana somewhat of a knowing look.

"I think you know what it means." is her answer. Santana jumps in front of her, blocking her way.

"No I don't." She retorts. "Tell me!" Santana was always used to getting her own way. Brittany rolls her eyes and blinks down at the girl, half a head shorter than her before looking away shortly afterwards. Brittany's composed attitude becomes edgy and fiddly as her breaths are drawn more quickly. Santana studies the erratic change in Brittany, trying to take note of every moment.

"All that stuff you said about me being weird. The way I... I s-speak, the way I act in front of people. It's a part of having Asperger's syndrome! I'm like this b-because I was born this way, Santana. I-I-I… I can't help who I am!" She manages to force out. "Brittany Susan Pierce. Seventeen-years-old. Born May, nineteen nighty-four. I think differently. And I have… I have different feelings." She nods to herself and it's as if Santana had just met her for the first time again. Brittany looks like a kid in front of her, cautious and confined to only herself. Santana steps back, letting Brittany have some space as ignominy flashes across her face. Santana can feel the mood darken as Brittany's confession is set in stone. What a poor, poor girl. For a moment, only the creaks and moans from the trees swaying in the wind can be heard as they girls study each other; but this wasn't a night for self-detestation, not for either party. Tonight was about the girls accepting who they were, and trying to overcome their afflictions no matter how far stretched it may have seemed to them. Santana reaches her hand out to Brittany in a twinkling of complete alienation to herself. At this moment in time she wanted to take her hand, and be there to tell her that everything was going to be okay. For a moment she could completely forget about school, or treat people the way her mother taught her to. Santana pushes aside the guilt and the uncertainty and takes Brittany's mitted hand, squeezing it firmly. Brittany looks back at Santana, her blue eyes now beaming down at her.

"I can't imagine what you must be going through." Santana says gently. "But I know that you have the biggest heart in the world." She expresses tenderly. Brittany nods, listening carefully. "And that stuff about feelings? Girl, sometimes I look at you and your face is telling me some Harry Potter shit. Give yourself some credit." She laughs. Brittany just continues to nod, unsure of what to say. "Now," Santana begins to walk out the fringe of the forest. "You need to close your eyes, it's a surprise." She pulls Brittany closer to her, making sure that she still has her balance. Brittany just looks at her like she had just been asked to walk a tightrope. Santana can only snicker and roll her eyes. "Trust me?" Santana was surely asking for a lot tonight, but she meant every word. Brittany pouts but closes her eyes, holding tighter onto Santana's grip. "I won't let go, I promise." She whispers before they begin to tiptoe down a soft slope. Santana watches the path of grass in front which glows under the moonlight. Brittany stumbles, but it's all giggles as they make their way down the hill. Brittany can smell something distinguishing and specific, almost salty and musty but is unable to put her finger on it, and before she knows it, they've stopped on top of an uneven terrain. She kicks the earth from underneath her feet and can hear what seems to be pebbles' rattling around. "Are you ready?" Santana whispers, anticipation seeping through her words.

"Ready for what?" Brittany asks. Santana just giggles and breaks contact with Brittany's hand.

"Open your eyes," Santana speaks softly. Brittany smiles childishly before opening her eyes and Santana watches not what was in front of her but Brittany's face whose grin slowly turns into a look of complete and utter awe.

Small glowing orbs like fireflies shine brilliantly and consume their surroundings for acres before them. Brittany looks all around with wide, animated eyes and finds herself speechless before realising that they weren't fireflies, it was the entire galaxy. Sprinkled and scattered from the stars to the moon, the fireflies floated like glitter around their feet from the lake and beyond.

"Are we… Are we? Santana are we on the edge of the earth?" Brittany's voice is high and surprised, everything that she has learnt to believe has now been disputed in the most wonderful and extraordinary way possible. Santana smiles profoundly at the now misty eyed Brittany.

"If you believe we are then we are." She affirms. Brittany hobbles over the cobbles and further into the sea of stars completely mesmerised. She gasps when she steps into a deep puddle as the water seeps into her shoes. She slowly gathers that she was standing in the bay of a lake. Santana stays behind but watches Brittany as she admires the view silently.

"We're at some old lake that my father used to take me too. And on a clear night like this it transforms from the darkest place in Ohio to the place where it shines the brightest." Santana breaths out. This was as much as a remarkable experience for Santana as it was for Brittany; she hadn't come here since her father left and forgot what it was like to be amongst the stars. It's what happens next that startles Santana: Brittany yells from the top of her lungs with all her might as she cries out in pandemonium across the lake, as if she was ridding herself from the entire trauma she had encountered as of late. Brittany didn't care who heard, she wanted to shout out from the top of her lungs to the universe. This was her moment; this was her cry for freedom. Her yelling eventually softens as her voice becomes hoarse but her fist stay tightly clenched as she comes down from her high. When Brittany stops, she puffs out trying to catch her breath, but beams tremendously at the view. The ripples in the water carry her call across the lake which causes a prolonged echo in the night. Santana can't help but feel a wave of pride from washing over her as she stands watching in the background, also grinning like a maniac. Did she really just make this happen? She could have been watching a scene from a movie for all she knew. What was certain however was that Brittany Pierce, in that moment, was the most ecstatic she had ever been in all her life, all because of some known-to-be selfish, deceitful girl named Santana Lopez.

Santana begins to move closer to Brittany who's shoulders heave up in down as she is overcome with emotion. Once she is standing beside her, Santana looks up at her and notices Brittany's eyes are glimmering under the moon's radiance, like the stars that surround them. Only this time her eyes are more of a turquoise shade, but nonetheless, they were the purest sets of eyes that Santana had seen yet. Brittany's face is filled with raw emotion as the happiest tears stream down her cheeks.

"Why… Why did you d-do this for me?" Brittany chokes out, wiping her face. Santana swallows hard and looks out to the lake.

"Because you and me. We're more alike than you think." She replies honestly. Brittany bites her lip and turns to Santana before enveloping her arms around her neighbour tightly. Santana reacts with an "Oomph," but finally manage to wrap her arms around Brittany's torso in return.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you…" Brittany chants and continues to do so as they both stand there in an embrace; two girls who could call each other strangers, but both grateful for each other's presence in that moment.

They could have been there for hours, maybe it was just a couple of minutes but the existence of time had completely fallen of the face of the earth while Brittany and Santana held onto each other. Once they parted they ducked their heads sheepishly as they blushed but brushed it off and found a nearby dry patch of cobbles to sit on to admire the scenery.

"What does it feel like, having Asperger's Syndrome?" Santana eventually questions. Brittany throws a pebble into the lake and watches as it skims across the surface causing the reflection of the stars to break apart in the ripples.

"It doesn't feel like anything. It doesn't hurt me." She finally replies. Santana chortles and shakes her head.

"I mean, how does it make you feel?" She rephrases.

"Oh!" Brittany nods. "I feel… Uhm." She struggles. Santana looks at her intently. "I guess it's like waking up from a really distinctive dream, and knowing that it made you feel strongly about something, but having no idea why? I struggle with what other people are thinking or feeling, unless they are crying because they are physically in pain. Imagine that you were hit by a car and started crying then I'd understand why. Though I imagine getting hit by a one tonne scrap of metal travelling thirty miles-per-hour would hurt if it hadn't already killed you." Santana makes an 'o' shape with her lips and shifts uncomfortably. "Which brings me to the next thing: I can deal with the literal sense of things but when it comes to the figurative, I have trouble understanding and thus I speak in literal terms. Do you understand?" Brittany asks. Santana begins to nod that eventually transitions into a head shake.

"And are you okay with feeling like that?" Santana asks and Brittany just shrugs.

"No. A lot of the time I wish that I could be consumed by a black hole and evaporate into nothing." She declares. Santana raises her eyebrows in surprise.

"Whoa, how depressing." Santana whispers under her breath.

"Not really. It's only science. Did you know that most of the stars that you see in the sky right now, no longer exist? It's taken so long for the light from the burning ball of gas to reach us that by the time you see it, it's already gone. Eight minutes for the sun, then four years for the next one. If you were to look at a galaxy, the likely hood is that it vanished _millions_ of years ago, but it's taken MILLIONS of years for the light to even reach us. Millions. Neil Armstrong… " Brittany trails off.

Santana stares at her dumbfounded for a good minute before choking out a giggle, causing Brittany to look at her quizzically as Santana slaps her knee in amusement.

"I'm s-sorry." Santana yelps out before another snort escapes her lips. She wipes her eyes, and sighs contently before returning her attention back to Brittany. "Don't take that personally. I'm just…" She coughs out. "I could listen to you all day." She smiles. But Brittany now wears a frown that doesn't flicker.

"Are… Are you laughing at me, Santana?" Brittany turns her gaze back to the lake but can see Santana's face shift in her peripheral vision followed by an immediate head shake.

"Oh no, no, no." Santana interjects, flailing her arms out in front. "I just feel like I'm in one of those distinctive dreams, like the one you described earlier." She defends as she begins to find her feet. Brittany watches slyly as Santana walks closer to the lake. "Like one of those dreams that you can control." She continues, kicking off her heels. "Where anything is possible…." Santana starts to mumble, forgetting that she was originally speaking t Brittany and spreads her left foot in front of her, shimmying her toes. "Like walking on water." She whispers to herself in a daze. She grazes the skin of the water with the pad of her foot and closes her eyes. She finds the temperature and the texture of the water enveloping her toes therapeutic. "Tonight isn't real… It can't be, I must be losing it." She begins to quietly conclude as she delves deeper into the Lake. "It's just a dream."

"If you believe it is. Then it is." Brittany answers her, mimicking Santana's earlier statement but unintentionally causes Santana to jump and splash in the water that now lapped at her knees. Brittany spits out in amusement as Santana growls, covering her poor frightened heart with her hand.

"Not funny!" She pouts, using her hand to splosh the water in Brittany's direction.

"It's a little funny." Brittany retorts playfully, splashing back. Santana sulks, unable to argue the with the girl opposite her.

"Whatever." Santana states childishly and begins to make her way back to the shore with her chin held high. Santana was too proud to be mimicked, even by Brittany. But before Santana can even reach the bay, her foot catches on a string of sea weed, causing her to fall face first into the slimy deep beneath her. Brittany watches in amazement as Santana gurgles and wrestles the plant in an attempt to free herself.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Santana screams, flailing around in the water helplessly and as soaked as a dog post-bath. Eventually she gives into struggling and sits in the lake, mortified and soggy from head to toe. Brittany carefully tip toes closer to her, making sure that she doesn't end up in the same position.

"Now that was funny." Brittany admits before squeaking out a chuckle. Santana glares up at the girl before her but rolls her eyes and raises her hand up.

"At least help me back on my feet?" She croaks, defeated. Once again, Brittany lends out her gloved hand that Santana takes a firm grip of. However, Santana doesn't pull herself to her feet like she insisted, a nifty smile creeps up on her face instead as she eyes Brittany devishly, and before Brittany can even contemplate what Santana's expression or intention was, she is dragged into the cold lake alongside Santana, causing her to gasp out in shock.

"Santana!" Brittany yelps but Santana covers her mouth to stifle a laugh.

"Now that's fucking funny." She breathes through her hand. Brittany sits and stares and Santana completely stunned and speechless. "Lighten up, it's only a dream remember." Santana kids on and Brittany purses her lips, pulling seaweed from her hair. Santana tilts her head curiously and watches Brittany, despite being indulged in a freezing lake.

"What does it feel like to touch someone?" She asks out of the blue once she has freed herself from any plant fragment. Santana swallows her tongue by accident, causing her to choke out as her cheeks flash in a pink tint as the sexual innuendo seeps into the back of her mind. Santana decides to answer Brittany's question seriously in the best possible way. After all that she had probably been through, she only deserved it.

"Touching someone or being touched can be subjective." Santana starts, gazing out the lake. "If you're talking about the literal sense then physically it just feels like your own hand is holding the other. It's warm, and every nerve tingles. Sometimes it can feel more sensitive and heightened during moments, depending on who that person is. For example, holding your mom's hand would feel different then holding your partners hand…"

"Why?" Brittany intervenes.

"To touch and to feel are both ambiguous terms. Literally, the term is physical, and figuratively, it's more emotional. If I was in love with my partner, then I would have romantic feelings for them, and every time they would touch me physically, it'd feel more special, emotionally. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?" Santana just manages, with the hope of making sense but Brittany screws up her face and shakes her head. Santana sighs but is no way near ready to leave it there. "Okay, let's do a little experiment." Santana announces squashing closer to Brittany until the moon is evenly between their heads on the horizon, lighting up one side of each other's face. "I'm going to say something to you to try and get a reaction, it may be hurtful or it may be nice but I want you to tell me how it makes you feel. I might lie, I might tell the truth. Understand?" Santana begins and Brittany nods. There's a moment of silence as Brittany reads Santana's face.

"How did you feel when I touched your arm in your bedroom?" Santana starts.

"Panic. Like I couldn't control it." Brittany answers truthfully.

"Do you feel the same now?"

"No."

Santana moves closer to Brittany in the water and are now sitting side by side, facing opposite each other.

"How does the water feel against your skin?"

"Cold and wet."

"Do you like it?"

"No."

The girls never take their eyes of each other as they bathe in their starry surroundings. Santana notices a strand of hair sticking to the side of Brittany's cheek and notes how it swirls down to her lips.

"The first night we met, did I make you uncomfortable?"

"Yes."

"Am I making you uncomfortable now?"

"No."

Brittany turns her head in a way which makes her eyes catch the light of the moon as they reflect into Santana's dark and penetrating eyes. Santana squints for a moments, and Brittany notices her expression turn sinister, before she begins talking again, in a much more hoarse tone.

"I don't like you, Brittany. I don't want to get to know you. I don't have time for you." Santana says harshly. Brittany also narrows her eyes but remains in contact.

"I don't want you to be like that." Is all she can say.

"Why?"

"Because… I. Because…. Uh." Brittany mumbles and immediately, just like that, the eye contact is broken.

"Because what, Brittany?" Santana edges on.

"Because I _do_ have feelings!" Brittany blurts out. "I don't know where they are, but they're here. I'm not a robot, Santana. I. Have. Feelings. I always do. I know this."

"How can you even feel for something when you can't even touch someone or look them in the eye for more than five seconds." Santana provokes.

" I do!" Brittany shouts out. "I have t-the feeling you get when you want to hold someone's hand but you can't because it will hurt. O-or-or the feelings you get when you watch a romantic movie and know that you will_never_ be able to kiss someone like that. Or that feeling when you wake up in the middle of the night after a terrible dream and you just want someone to hold you and tell you that everything's going to be okay. I feel myself yearning for those things, Santana. And I can never have them." Brittany slaps her hands down in the pool around her as Santana stays tight lipped. A couple of moments pass in silence as Brittany's attempts to collect herself from her sudden outburst. Santana never takes her eyes off her and Brittany eventually sighs, leaning closer to Santana as she rests her chin on her own lap. "The feeling you gave me tonight; the one in the pit of my stomach when you took me to the edge of the earth and told me that anything was possible." Brittany says softly, almost exhausted. "It was like a dream." She yawns, and begins to shiver.

"Maybe one day you will get to have those things with somebody?" Santana asks, her tone is now softer and sympathetic, trying to keep optimistic but Brittany just shakes her head in disappointment.

"I seriously doubt it." Brittany replies sadly. Both girls turn to the look at the horizon huddled into each other so close and yet light-years apart.

"Yep, we're definitely alike." Santana whispers as she too begins to shiver. Brittany turns to her expectantly. "And if we stay in here any longer, we'll die of hypothermia if not now, then later with pneumonia." Santana hints and Brittany automatically shudders beside her. "Let's go." She pronounces.

Both girls stagger out of the water and onto the bay, trembling uncontrollably but can't help the wide grins that fall on their faces. Santana turns to catch a view of both Brittany and the lake as she peels of the water-logged sweater Brittany had handed to her earlier.

"S-sorry about your sweater." Santana mumbles as her teeth clatter together. Brittany just shrugs and rubs her arms for some friction. "So you've never been kissed before, like ever?" She tries to keep her mind off the icy jolts of electricity that causes her to shudder.

"Not like the movies." Brittany shakes her head. Santana's eyes dart down to Brittany's lips for a moment, and notices that the plumpness and softness was definitely kissable. What a waste. Brittany watches Santana watching her, and the way her eyes darken every time she glanced down at her lips. When Santana catches on that she is staring, an overwhelming urge to pull away riles up inside her, causing her to snap out of it. Brittany still watches Santana under the moonlight, whose expression is unreadable under the obscurity of the night. Santana finally starts to make a move, first stretching her legs and arms then proceeds to walk up to the grass towards the fringe of the forest without a word, before turning around to wait on Brittany. Brittany silently sighs and follows close behind, peeking back to the lake every so often to admire the view, creating a mental picture in her head.

* * *

><p>Despite the constant chill nagging through the girls' bones, the duo walk back home slowly, secretly not wanting the night to come to an end. And despite the runny noses and sniffles, both of the girls were at peace, making little conversation on the way back but savouring having one another by their side. They finally approach the auburn ruddiness from the streetlamps in their neighbourhood and Brittany spins to face Santana who has her eyes glued to the floor in concentration.<p>

"What are you thinking about, Santana?" She asks as they both stop half way between their homes, next to their neighbouring tree. Santana frowns under the artificial glare from the lamp, and shrugs in confusion.

"I don't know." She answers honestly. "I feel like I'm going to wake up any minute, and you won't be here." She finally concludes, scuffing her foot along the path. At the same time, Santana felt sick. No matter how hard anyone tried in the past, nobody could ever strip Santana from her emotion but now everything to her felt raw and she couldn't make sense of it. "I kinda feel like a child." She whispers before blushing insanely. Brittany steps closer to Santana and leans her head into the crook of her neck. Santana closes her eyes and trembles at the proximity but doesn't dare move, not only for Brittany's sake, but her own.

"I'm the one who's dreaming." Brittany whispers before backing away. "Goodnight, Santana. And thank-you." She smiles appreciatively before turning around and making her way to her home. Santana's eyes dart open and she bites her lips, not wanting Brittany to leave.

"Brittany!" She shouts after her. Brittany stops just as she is about to set foot on her lawn and swiftly turns her head around.

"Yes?" She asks. Santana lingers for a moment, unsure as to what to actually say or why she even called Brittany's name in the first place.

There's a point in life when you're stuck at two roads; the first road is where the sun beams down, flowers are springing in all colours of the rainbow and it's the one you've always known to walk down; it was the familiar path. The other road was the darker path, full of doubt yet the most desirable. It's the one that changes your life right around. Forever. Could Santana redeem herself and start over, completely forgetting the life she led to make a gamble? Or was she going to crawl back to the safe route into her fort for security?

"Santana?" Brittany asks one more time. Santana swallows firmly but then nods to herself.

"Goodnight." She says in a friendly manner and offers a quick smile before turning abruptly to the comfort of her home. Brittany stands beside the side walk, watching as Santana flees until she is left by herself soaked in the dark and isolated like the Pole Star: the brightest of the bunch. Santana was definitely not ready to take that gamble. She was a Lopez after all.

Brittany shivers in the chill wind and begins to shuffle away into the opposite direction to her own home, wondering what on earth the weekend would bring.

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter IV<em>

_**So what did you think?  
>More fluff for chapter 5? Who wants to see Santana and Brittany getting a little wacky?<strong>_


	5. Chapter V

__**CHAPTER V**__

* * *

><p><em>Brittany and Santana pose opposite each other taking in the other's appearance. Santana's ebony hair is glued into knots and her heavy eye liner is smeared like ink across the side of her face. A few scratches and bruises mark shapes across their bodies and tares into their clothes. Dirt lies coated underneath their finger nails yet Santana raises her hand and brushes a twig out of Brittany's ruffled hair just as Grace walks into the bedroom, startling both girls.<em>

"_Oh my... What happened?_

* * *

><p><em>[8 hours earlier]<em>

"_It was like a movie, momma! The pinnacle of all things spectacular, and it was right in front of me!"_

"_Party was a'ight. I s'pose..."_

"_Stars... EVERYWHERE! Double constellations disputing science and then some,"_

"_Same old, the same people showed up, the same people hooked up and the same people got trashed."_

"_It was one of the most extraordinary scenes I had ever witnessed. If not the most."_

"_It wasn't even that great."_

"_Santana is such a wonderful girl!"_

"_Outstandingly mundane!" _Santana drops her spoon into her empty breakfast bowl causing it to clatter around as she chews on the rest of her cereal. "But I bet that Brittany girl next door wouldn't have known she was born."

"And what are your plans for the rest of the day?" Anita asks as she sits opposite her daughter at the breakfast table, slapping on red lipstick and squinting in front a small compact mirror. Santana wipes her mouth with her sleeve and thinks for a moment before her eyes travel across to the damp sweater that lies in a crumpled heap in front of the tumble drier. She never really gave notice before but, the garment was multi-coloured, gaudy even, and Santana would never have been caught dead wearing the hoodie in daylight. But none the less, Santana smiled to herself and sighed comfortably.

"Santana?" Anita asks again, yet this time more impatiently. Santana jerks her face up to meet her mothers rolling eyes. Santana just shrugs and lifts herself from the breakfast bar stool to carry her bowl over to the sink. "Well whatever it is, I don't want you to be doing it here. I'm having guests over this evening for dinner and I think it's best that your existence is unheard of; there will be some serious planning going on and I can't afford to have any distractions." Anita asserts herself, puckering into the mirror and popping the lipstick lid shut before straightening out her dress shirt and scraping a stain away from the marble surface in front of her.

"Whatever," Santana mumbles, throwing Brittany's sweater into the drier. "This house is as interesting as being a part of the snoozer in Nashville." She mocks a yawn but Anita perks up and grimaces at her daughters comment.

"Don't talk unless you know what you're talking about Santana." She retorts. Santana analyses her vainglorious mother, who prances tall yet obnoxiously around the kitchen as her heels clank against the white tile flooring. "And I want you to clean up before you leave, I should be able to see my reflection on this floor." Anita finishes before making her way to the front door and leaving without a goodbye. Santana just flicks her middle finger up behind her back and oozes out a frustrated scowl.

* * *

><p>"Oh honey, it sounds like you had a wonderful night!" Grace beams as she gleefully washes up the breakfast dishes. Brittany can only grin broadly behind her before swallowing an oh-so familiar pill nonchalantly with a glass of water before wiping her mouth with her sleeve.<p>

"I think... I think I've made a friend, mom. A _REAL_ friend!" Brittany projects, while sliding along the wooden laminate flooring in her socks and causing the water to tip over the edge of the glass.

"Honey you're spilling it."

"Sorry. But Santana actually really listens to me. I don't even think, actually, I _know_ that I've told her more than anyone else. Apart from you a dad of course. But like woah, it's only been..." Brittany abruptly stops to count the digits on her fingers. "Six days! And it feels like a lifetime!" Grace, although facing away from Brittany, listens intently with the proudest expression. "Maybe when we become _really_good friends, I might even get a little better, maybe... Maybe one day we could... Umm. I don't know really but she's-" Brittany pauses again, only this time she's stuck in mid-thought, trying to decipher what she intended to say.

"She's what, honey?" Grace turns around, hands on hips but with amusement now washing over her face.

"She's..." Brittany taps her fingers across the pine kitchen table as her eyes dart in all directions. Grace narrows her eyes but Brittany finally stops and a triumphant smile appears across her mouth. "She's the girls next door, and I couldn't wish for anyone better!" She announces, gleaming. Grace nods but approaches Brittany, before patting her sandy head of hair.

"I'm really happy for you, but remember to be careful, okay? Make sure you don't get hurt." Grace whispers before winking at Brittany who just nods, understanding. "I've got to go out and get the grocery's before I visit Aunt Lydia; god knows how long it's been. You want to come me?"

"No thanks. I'm old enough to take care of myself." Brittany shakes her head and Grace scoffs. Yes, her daughter was definitely growing up fast. "I think I'm going to bake some muffins, from grandma's old recipe. Only this time... This time I will add my own twist to it and I shall call them 'Brittany's Grandma's muffins with a twist from scratch!" She states proudly, rubbing her hands together. Grace just rings out laughter and leaves the kitchen to pick up her bag. By the time Grace leaves, Brittany has already slid into an apron and is clamming around with pots and pans in the cupboard.

* * *

><p>Santana taps her foot impatiently on her bedroom floor as she sits unsettled at the edge of her bed, biting her nails to stubs. She took one look at her phone and tossed it at the other side of the mattress after receiving endless calls and text messages, the majority of which would be nonsensical drunken slurs from people, asking where she was last night. The one thing that she couldn't seem to shake off or 'toss aside' was the urge to see Brittany again and regularly found herself looking outside of her window.. Santana had so much more to ask, and even more so, had so much to say. Questioning herself internally only made the urge worse, like why couldn't she erase the image of Brittany under the moonlight last night? Brittany was an attractive girl, but Santana had come across many attractive women in the past and thought nothing by it. Was Brittany a threat? Did she feel that Brittany's looks were superior to her own? Why was it that Santana had then given Brittany time of day and even missed a party just to spend time with her? Brittany does have Asperger's and Santana just felt sorry for her, right? Why was it then that Santana hadn't felt so free whenever she was around Brittany, where the weight on her shoulders just lifted? Why was it that her stomach flipped every time Brittany gazed at her? Why was it that every time Brittany was upset or confused, Santana just wanted to reach out to her and-<p>

"Shit! Get it together already!" She curses to herself, slamming her palms on her lap and as soon as she does the door bell rings causing her to jump. Santana takes a breath and pats down her clothes that consists of baggy sweats and a white tank before taking a deep breath and shuffling downstairs to answer the door. As she does, she is met with the doe-eyed Brittany standing in front of her and holding a container in her hands. "Brittany! W-what are you doing here?" Santana asks surprised. Brittany looks down at the container in front of her and grins.

"I... I made you some home made muffins to thank you for last night." She replies shyly, keeping her head down. Santana, although feeling tremendously awkward, smiles gratefully and takes the container from her.

"You didn't have to..."

"Oh I know! But I wanted to." Brittany explains and the heat arrives just as quickly on her face, causing her cheeks to blush in a bright pink which Santana takes notice of and can't help but bite her tongue.

"Uhm... Would you like to come in?"

"Yes." Brittany doesn't hesitate this time and Santana just nods, clearly amused and leads the way into the kitchen with the batch of muffins, before turning around to find Brittany still standing in the door way.

"Well, come in then! Santana laughs.

"Oh!" Brittany bounces inside, closing the door behind her. "It's nice to see you not dressed like a slut for once." she claims and Santana stops, turning to Brittany utterly gob-smacked. Brittany's face turns from pleasant to horrified in a matter of seconds.

"Oh shit... I-I... Santana, I meant. I d-don't think you're a slut. I meant... Uhh..." Brittany stutters, her face now completely the shade of a beetroot but Santana's expression quickly softens as she watches Brittany's struggle to try and justify her remark.

"Listen, it's cool." Santana interrupts. "I much prefer comfy clothes." Brittany just stands wide eyed, afraid to speak in case she said something else offensive. "Welcome to my humble abode!" Santana then announces, waving her arms and gesturing Brittany to have a better look. Brittany tip-toes around and inspects the home with much attention; the marble, the silver and the leather.

"It's very..."

"Organised." Santana finishes the sentence. Brittany purses her lips but doesn't disagree. "My mom's a bit of a control freak, okay maybe a lot and is apparently running for town Mayor. Isn't that _hilarious_." Santana rolls her eyes as she pops the lid off the container to inspect the blueberry muffins.

"I don't find it _that_ funny." Brittany states as she walks to join Santana in the kitchen. Santana just brushes it off and eyes the muffins hungrily.

"May I please have one?" She squeaks, acting coy. Although Anita would never have dared to award Santana with such sugary treats, Santana always managed to pry a few from her father, and ever since, she had always had the sweet tooth.

"They're yours." Brittany smiles, standing next to Santana, both eyeing the batch in front of them. "Go on, take a bite!" She encourages anxiously, ready to see the reaction from her first home made muffins. Santana grins greedily and takes a muffin and brings it to her mouth taking a large chunck. Brittany watches with her tongue popping out the corner of her mouth as Santana chews on the sponge before pausing mid-bite. Santana looks up at Brittany with a blank expression which quickly transitions into a grimace as she struggles to swallow the remains of the muffin. "W-What's wrong?" Brittany asks, frowning.

"Home made?" Santana mumbles, mouth still half full. "What the fuck did you put in them? Eugh!" She spits.

"Just my grandma's old recipe! Oh no. Two table spoons of flour, two eggs, 250 millilitres of water, 50 grams of butter, two heaped t-spoons of baking soda-"

"Baking soda?" Santana interjects.

"Baking soda!" Brittany yelps, clearly vexed over Santana's disgusted facial expression and begins to recite the recipe over and over again in her head, trying to pin point where she went wrong. Santana just watches in fascination as Brittany stands bewildered, feeling as if she may have poisoned the girl. She bites her lips, trying to stifle a laugh but feels the hilarity of the situation build inside of her and can't help but snort out a snicker. Brittany stops her train of though and watches as Santana covers her face with her hands. "What, why are you laughing? I don't understand, did you not like the muffin?" Brittany asks in confusion.

"You... You are so. I can't!" Santana wheezes out, wiping the tears from her eyes. Santana grabs the container of muffins and moves them across into the living room and places them on the glass coffee table. "Baking powder!" Santana shouts, still chortling. "Not soda. Powder!" Brittany keeps her feet glued to the kitchen floor,unwilling to move; two screw-ups already and she hadn't been there more than five minutes. "Don't worry about it," Santana says as she appears back in the kitchen with a gleaming expression. "Besides, we can start fresh, I have everything we need!" She announces leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed. "And then some." She continues as she digs into her pant pocket, pulling out a transparent plastic bag that contained some sort of plant material. "Would you be opposed to medically prescribed marijuana muffins?" Santana licks her lips, jiggling the bag in front of her. Brittany widens her eyes and looks around to make sure nobody was listening in.

"Isn't that illegal?" She whispers. Santana just snorts and shakes her head.

"Oh Brittany, you're so innocent. Every body has to try something at least once." She states, clearing the counters to prepare for the recipe. "Wanna play?"

The sticky, syrupy muffin mixture oozes down from the counter tops and falls beside the two girls who sit cabbaged on the cold kitchen floor, licking the remains of mixture from their fingers. They both lean back on the counter, heads hung and sighing deeply as they relax.

"They were... The best muffins I 'err tasted in my seventeen years." Santana grins wide, shutting her eyes. Brittany watches, also with heavy eyes and nods in agreement, licking her lips. "Explosions all over this joint. Explosion in mouth. Hmm." Santana yawns. Brittany pulls a face then sniggers at Santana's statement. Santana leans to face towards Brittany and sticks out her tongue. Brittany who is now only inches apart hisses out uncontrollably causing both of them to double over in a wave of laughter that echo's through every crevice of the house. Their cries of delight eventually settle down as they attempt to regain their breath while studying each other; their eyes bloodshot, damp and full of ecstasy. "Where did you come from Brittany?" Santana slurs.

"Ari-Arizona. Arizona!" Brittany convulses into another roar of laughter as she collapses onto the kitchen floor, bringing Santana down with her as they face up to the ceiling, clutching their stomachs. Spent and sore, the girls grin to themselves, basking in the ambience and each other.

"This is, by far, the most fun I've had in forever..." Santana whispers as her eyes finally shut. Brittany sits up to watch Santana and notices that her face was no longer tense, or pained. Her forehead was smooth and her lips no longer tightened. The way her raven hair fell around the white tile floor made Santana's face look soft to the touch and completely at peace. Brittany shuffles along and flops on top of Santana for a sloppy embrace, making sure there was enough distance between their heads. Santana is startled for the second time but like before, wraps her arms around Brittany's torso and both drift off into a sleep, entwined in one another.

* * *

><p>Santana wakes first, her eyes are barely open but she can feel the dryness in her mouth and the pain in her left hip as she rest on the floor. She finds Brittany still sound asleep facing only inches apart from her and notices that their legs are intertwined with Brittany's hand resting limply on Santana's waist. Santana stays still and admires the innocuous way that Brittany sleeps. It was probably the plant, but Santana very much doubted that Brittany slept this calm every night. Never the less, Brittany looked so gratified in this stillness. Unmoving, silent yet fulfilled.<p>

"Brittany," Santana whispers, but there is no response. Santana bites her lip and contemplates about saying what she finally had to. "Brittany?" Santana waits but there's still no answer; and so Santana begins. "There's so much that you don't know about me Brittany, and there's so much that I need to tell you." Santana carefully raises her left hand and delicately moves a blonde strand away from Brittany's face so she could see her better. " I just want you to know, that no matter what happens between us, no matter where we end up, I want you to know that you have made me the happiest since... Well, since my father." Santana shuts her eyes tightly, the sting of such honestly didn't settle with her right. "I will always be thankful for that." She breaths out, intimidated by her own words. "I am so, so sorry Brittany. For ever doubting you and for the pain that you should ever feel. I'm not right for you, I can't be your friend, because the truth is... The truth is," Santana watches the ceiling now finding it hard to put her feelings into words. "I'm no good for you, and you deserve all the happiness in the world. You deserve everything." Her heart starts to pound yet she turns back to Brittany who was still fast asleep. "You deserve to be loved, and you deserve everything that you wish for, and I'll pray to god every night that you find it. You deserve to be happy more than anyone in this world and you should know that, because I can't accept anything less, you hear me?" Santana hovers her hand over Brittany's cheek, feeling the warmth raise from her skin. One touch. Santana's stomach turns dramatically as Brittany begins to stir and scrunch up her face.

"Bakii-i-iing powder. Not... Soda." Brittany mumbles. Santana shuts her eyes in relief, resting her head back onto the kitchen floor. Suddenly the familiar sound of the front door opens and slams shut followed by Anita's voice;

"Now ladies and gentlemen, dinner shall be ready in forty-five, but I have plenty of appetizers in the mean time."

"Shit!" Santana shrieks and scoots up onto her feet, grabbing Brittany by her sleeve.

"Mmm, what day is it?" Brittany slurs as she slowly awakes and barely has enough time to wipe the sleep away from her eyes before getting dragged around the kitchen.

"My fucking mother! She's here! I'm not supposed to be here! Oh my fucking god I'm so dead, look at the mess!" Santana stresses as she runs her hands through her hair in a panic before attempting to wipe the muffin mix from the floor and counter tops. Brittany stands and sways, still trying to wake up.

"Make yourself comfortable in the lounge, drinks anyone?" The dinner guest fill out into the main room across the hall, there were half a dozen peers all pinned and suited complete with Italian leather shoes and Prada bags. As the guests begin to take their seats, Anita notices the batch of blueberry muffins sitting on the coffee table. "And help yourself to some muffins! My darling daughter must have made them for you all. Always thinking of others..."

"_Noo-oo! Don't eat them!_" Santana shrills behind clenched teeth back in the kitchen as both girls listen with their ears against the door that enters into the hallway.

"I'll get the drinks!" Anita announces from the other room causing Brittany and Santana glance at each other with wide eyes.

"Quickly, to my room!" Santana orders and pulls at Brittany's sleeve which had now been stretched beyond repair and dash through the hall to the bottom landing. The girls just manage to scurry up the stairs in time before Anita struts out from the lounge and into the kitchen without any suspicion of unwelcome company. A middle-aged man, that stacked more lard than muscle on his body and who wore a wig that gave Donald Trump a run for his money, eyes the muffins with carnivorous intentions. He scrolls his index finger above them, trying to pick out the most tempting one out of the lot and finally settles on the biggest. He removes the paper base from the sponge and smiles almost sinisterly before taking a generous bite.

"We're so fucked, I'm so fucked." Santana chants as they both enter her bedroom, Santana begins to march around with her hands on her temples, trying to think of a master plan to get her out of this mess but realises that the options were limited and curses repeatedly under her breath. To the contrary, Brittany tip-toes around the room, marking the detail of each photo and trophy on display and smiles fondly.

"I'm impressed, you really are talented in your craft." She compliments, brushing her fingers over the gold and silver cups on the shelves. Santana takes a deep breath and shakes her head.

"Look, you need to go." She firmly sates, opening her closet door and rummaging through the hanging garments, unsure of what she was actually looking for. Brittany frowns and watches as Santana's face is tense again, clearly irritated.

"Did I do something wrong?" Brittany asks, Santana turns to Brittany and her expression softens immediately to suggest that it wasn't the case. Brittany nods and smiles, not needing to be answered. Their looks linger between one another in a moment unspoken, yet telling silence and Santana can feel her stomach beginning to flip again, and again, there was a sudden urge creeping up on Santana, something unheard of.

"Brittany?" Santana whispers delicately. "There's something I want to say-"

"Santana?" Her mother calls from the top of the stairs. Santana freezes and is quickly jolted back into the reality of the moment.

"Fuck!" Santana yelps, and again, takes Brittany's arm, dragging her across the room and in front closet. "Quickly, hide in here." Santana pushes the clutter of clothes to the side to make room for Brittany and shoves her in like a load of washing and quickly follows after, shutting the closet door behind them.

"Santana Catalina Lopez!" Her mother roars, marching across the landing as her footsteps become audibly louder like some B-horror move.

"Oh, she ma-aad!" Santana winces, shuffling around the closed space trying to get more comfortable. Brittany hunches into the back wall of the closet, the darkness and clamminess unsettles her.

"I don't like... I don't like it in here Santana, can I get out? I want to get out." She whispers quickly. Santana can feel her warm breath on nape of her neck, causing the hairs to stand up. Forget inches, the girls were centimetres away from havoc. Santana pushes as far away from Brittany as possible but the closet isn't built to support two teenage girls and begins to creak uncontrollably. "It's so hot, it's really hot... I'm hot." Brittany begins to chant under her breath as she squeezes her eyes shut.

"Shh, it's only for a few minutes. You're okay, I'm not going to hurt you." Santana whispers, feeling Brittany pressed against her as she peeks through the crack between the closet doors. Brittany trembles as the claustrophobia sets in and patches of sweat gather around her forehead. Finally, for what seemed to feel like a century for Brittany, Anita marches inside the bedroom she as curses menacingly. The girls stand statuesque, non-moving, non-breathing, but with their hearts racing recklessly.

"I swear to God Santana, when you get home you are going to wish that you were never born!" Anita growls before slamming the bedroom door shut causing both girls to stifle a shriek. There's silence for a few more seconds as the duo listen to Anita pattering down the stairs to join her guests and apologise. Unable to balance any longer, Santana falls out of the closet and Brittany tumbles out closely behind. Both lay on the carpet, staring at the ceiling again, only this time, instead of being calm and content, the girls were breathless, pale and spent. Santana twists around to find Brittany curled up with her hands hiding her face and sighs shakily. How many more times was Santana going to see Brittany like this knowing that she was the one who caused her the pain.

"I sorry Brittany. You shouldn't have been a part of that. My mom, she's... Well, I wasn't meant to be here." Is all that she can say. Brittany shuffles to sit up with her head between her knees.

"Santana, I don't feel too good." Brittany groans gravely, she wipes a sheen of sweat from her forehead against her pant leg and takes deep breaths. "I want to go home." Santana nods but shimmies next her on the carpet.

"You'll be okay, it's probably you just coming down from your high." She reassures then scurries away to look for something in a drawer beneath her bed, before returning back to kneel down in front of Brittany, offering her a chocolate bar. "Eat this, and you should feel better in no time." She smiles. Brittany raises her head and takes the bar, unwraps it and forces it down faster than you could say Jack Robinson. "Yep, someone has a _serious_ case of the munchies!" Santana jokes but her semi-hearted laugh alters at the end. "While you're occupied I might as well as make a noose out of a scarf and hang it to that tree out there." She murmurs.

"Why? You have so much to live for!" Brittany chews with a full mouth as the colour slowly returns back to her cheeks. Santana giggles at the image and shrugs.

"My mom wants to kill me anyway, and we might be a while getting out of here. You see, when my mother hosts a dinner party, the entertainment usually consists of discussing rare wines and what mature cheese suits best with which cracker. Once the discussion lasted four hours and by the end I seriously contemplated taking a bottle of her precious Château Haut-Brion and smashing it over that massive head of hers. It was _disgusting_. So, unless you want to wait until your tits start to sag, I suggest an escape plan. Something like going all Tarzan and Jane and shit, and swinging from that tree to your window." Santana snorts, trying to pick out the muffin mixture that dried in her hair. Brittany's head suddenly perks as she licks the remains of chocolate from her lips and dashes over to Santana's window and opens the shutter in a quick flick, climbing onto the ledge. "What the hell are you doing?" Santana shrieks as she runs over to join Brittany.

"My window's open, we can do that!" Brittany enthuses. Santana shakes her head in disbelief.

"I wasn't being serious! Plus I'm afraid of heights!" Santana shivers but Brittany just rolls her eyes.

"What does that have to do with anything? It's not like you're going to jump out. Please, I've always wanted to do this since watching George in the Jungle." Brittany thrills, swinging her legs over the ledge and reaching out for a sturdy branch. What shocks Santana even further is the yodel that escapes Brittany's mouth, as she mimics Brendan Fraser's character in the movie.

"ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?" Santana covers her face, running back to her bedroom door to make sure that there was no disturbance from downstairs. "What If I fall? I thought you were feeling ill?" Santana moans, she didn't know if she couldn't handle any more trauma for one day.

"It'll probably hurt, a few broken bones and all, or it could be worse, you fall on your head and kill yourself, but that's unlikely comparing it to the angle you would be falling at." Brittany answers, taking a leap and swinging from the branch in front of her until her feet steady on another below her.

"If I'm going down, then you're coming down with me." Santana threatens. Brittany just snorts and explores the trees frame, dipping and ducking and enjoying every moment. "Wait for me." Santana cries pettily as she eyes the branch in front of her and leans out her window before gulping down hard, not daring to look below her. With a shriek, she latches onto the branch and swings until she finds her feet. "I did it!" She yells, with a triumphant grin smudged across her face.

"See, it isn't so bad!" Brittany chirps as she reaches for the ledge of her own bedroom window, once she's steadily sitting on the frame, she jars the window open wide. Suddenly a loud snap catches Brittany's attention causing her to whip her head around to find Santana standing still on a bent branch that was slowly descending downwards, unable to support her weight. The colour drains from Santana's face who is unable to form any words as she realises what was happening. She hugs the stalk of thee tree for dear life, trying to support more weight on her arms but the branch continues to crunch and pop. "Don't move!" Brittany orders, as she swings back onto the tree to meet Santana whose eyes are now clammed shut while a small sob escaped her lips.

"I'm gonna die. Brittany... I'm gonna die." She blubbers. "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, fuck this shit." Brittany straddles a thicker branch above her and and crosses her legs before spinning upside down as her hands dangle down near Santana's. She pulls her sleeves down so they are covering her bare hands and takes a deep breath.

"Okay, Santana I need to to open your eyes, but don't look down! I repeat, DON'T LOOK DOWN!" Brittany orders. Santana clenches her teeth but obeys and slowly reopens her eyes to see nothing but a heinous blur, as colours and object mesh together in blobs.

"I'm never doing drugs again..." Santana utters, nauseous.

"Good, now look up and you'll see my arm, I want you to grab it so I can pull you up." Santana laughs nervously.

"Are you kidding? If I move, this branch is gone and the crematorium will be serving a Spanish cuisine next week!" Santana whimpers.

"There's no time for complaining, Santana! That branch is about to give way and you need to grab my arm, look at me!" Brittany commands. Santana's teeth clatter together as she jerks her head up to find Brittany looking down at her as her arms hang near Santana's head. She finds the familiar blue eyes that never waver away "Trust me." She whispers. Santana takes a few moments to take a breath to fully assert herself that the girl opposite her was being serious, and then nods. She shakily uncurls her arm from around the tree stump and swings her hand up to take a firm grip of Brittany's arm. Their eyes never part from each other as they take one small moment at a time despite their shaky breaths, trembling lips and sweaty palms. "I'm going to pull you up now, okay?" Santana just nods and lifts a foot to push against the stalk. The branch suddenly gives way under the shift and Santana gives out a blood-curdling shriek as she looses support from underneath her. Brittany grinds her teeth together and pulls Santana up with all her might as the weight doubles. And as if the heavens were watching over them, Brittany can feel the force of adrenaline pulsating through her, giving her the extra strength that she needed to pull Santana the rest of the way up.

"I am never. Ever. Climbing a tree, ever again." Santana puffs out as they girls regain their breath minutes later. Brittany rolls her eyes playfully and begins to climb back to her window.

"Come on, Jane." She replies sportively. Santana grunts and follows closely behind, making sure that she copied Brittany's every step.

* * *

><p>Brittany and Santana pose opposite each other taking in the other's appearance. Santana's ebony hair is glued into knots and her heavy eye liner is smeared like ink across the side of her face. A few scratches and bruises mark shapes across their bodies and tares into their clothes. Dirt lies coated underneath their finger nails yet Santana raises her hand and brushes a twig out of Brittany's ruffled hair just as Grace walks into the bedroom, startling both girls.<p>

"Oh my... What happened?" Grace exclaims. Brittany and Santana just take one look at each and fall into a pit of giggles. Grace just clicks her tongue and gathers Brittany's dirty washing. "Actually don't answer that. Dinner's ready honey, Santana you're welcome to have some too if you'd like." Grace smiles, leaving the girls to tend to themselves. "And clean up before you eat!"

Brittany rubs her stomach and skips enthusiastically to the bedroom door before turning around to catch Santana's attention.

"I'm starving, would you like to join us for dinner?" She grins. Santana mirrors her expression and nods.

"I'd love too." She reveals gratefully. Brittany jumps excitedly and skips toward the bathroom leaving Santana in the bedroom, she turns her head to watch the view outside the window and watches how the branches create shadows against the white, wooden panelling of her own home under the rose sun set. She takes a breath, raises her chin and nods.

_Tonight_.

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter V<em>

**_Thanks so much for all the reviews :)  
>Next chapter: Sleepover!<em>**

_AN - I don't encourage drugs, the use in this chapter is a one off. _


	6. Chapter VI

_AN: [SPOILER] If anyone hasn't seen A Walk to Remember or Definitely, Maybe - then the endings are kinda revealed in this chapter, ha! Thanks for your reviews :)_

___**CHAPTER VI**___

* * *

><p>Santana scrunches up the paper napkin in her lap before tearing it into small cotton-like shreds. While at the opposite end of the table, Brittany patiently and delicately folds her napkin into a miniature sized bird-like shape and carefully places it next to her glass on the table. Santana takes a sneaky peek towards Brittany's skilled attempt at origami before looking back to her lap again, underwhelmed by her own muddled up creation.<p>

"Nice swan." She compliments.

"It's not a swan." Brittany replies, bringing the glass of soda to her lips and taking a generous gulp. "It's a duck." She corrects Santana, wiping her mouth against her sleeve. Santana glances at the paper bird again and squints hard. "Do you like it?" She asks in a coy manner but Santana just purses her lips and shrugs.

"It looks more like a swan to me." She disputes. Brittany glares at her through narrowed eyes but Santana just smirks and takes Brittany's reaction as a compliment. It had been _too_ long since Santana had received a castigated look from someone else. It was an obsession, it thrilled Santana when she was able to harmlessly vex a person by something she said, it was verbal foreplay to her. Santana picks up her fork and stabs it into the steamed carrot in front of her, causing the metal to screech painfully against the plate like gravel causing Brittany to shudder. She brings the vegetable to her mouth, biting down on it slowly with her eyes never parting from Brittany's. Brittany leans back in her seat, confounded by Santana's enticing expression as if she were about to leer her in to some sort of duel. Santana tilts her chin down and looks at Brittany through her thick lashes with a dark-humoured smile forming at the corner of her lips.

"Santana?" Brittany asks warily. Santana tilts her head again, this time exposing more of her neck as she carries on chewing, declining to answer, it was far too entertaining not too. "Is it... Is it y-your intention to... Uhh." Brittany reaches out and grabs her duck origami and pulls it to her lap nervously. "Are you... Um." She takes the soft material in her left hand and crushes it against her palm, causing the shape of the bird to become disfigured under her tight grip. She swallows hard and can feel the blood burn hot from under her cheeks that spreads to her ears like wildfire. "But why are you even looking at me like that?" Brittany questions, feeling more flustered by the second. Santana almost laughs out, but years of practice meant that she still had it in her to wheedle ones emotions by just one look. "ARE YOU TRYING TO SEDUCE ME?" Brittany blurts out. Santana's eyes grow wide in surprise at the impetuous accusation, and takes in a gust of air, causing the carrot to fall at the back of her throat and making her to choke out frantically.

"Anybody care for some desert? It's apple crumble and cre-ee-am!" Grace bursts out excitedly as she dances into the dining area, fully equipped with a Naked Chef apron and oven gloves. Santana continues to spurt out, reaching for her empty glass, face red and tears collecting in her eyes. "Oh lord, are you okay, Santana?" Grace asks in her usual Tinkerbell-high voice. Santana shakes her head, clearly panic-stricken and covering her mouth, motioning over to Brittany that she she needed a drink by flapping her hand around in front of her. Grace flies and takes Brittany's glass and shoots her daughter a questioning look, Brittany just shrugs her shoulders before Grace hands the glass to Santana who downs the soda in three impressive gulps. Santana pants out for a good minute or so as she tries to regain her breath and wants nothing more to mush her face in her dinner with embarrassment. Santana was beginning to think that Brittany had some sort of unknown reverse psychological power that backlashed, like throwing a boomerang far out into space only for it to return and hit you square in the balls. _Every single time_. She thinks to herself. She wonders how impressed the girl Santana was a week ago would have been. She most certainly would have laughed, teased her about not having any 'game' and undoubtedly would have pantsed her one way or another. With the heat radiating from Santana's face, she might as well had been.

"Santana swallowed her food and it went down the wrong way." Brittany explains to her mother, scooping up a family of green peas in her spoon before devouring them whole.

"_Completely_ the wrong way." Santana agrees, eyeing Brittany from across the table, hoping that she'd figure out the double meaning. Grace pouts her lips but nods nonchalantly before returning to the kitchen to collect the desert.

* * *

><p>"So, Santana, I understand that you're captain of the Cheer-leading squad at school. How are you finding that?" Grace asks at the dining table, slurping up the remains of cream from her spoon. Santana pats her lips with new, non-torn up napkin and nods.<p>

"Yeah, I'm really enjoying it!" Santana raves but doesn't sound as enthusiastic as she'd have hoped. "McKinley's won Cheer Nationals for three consecutive years so it's a lot of pressure, but a good pressure. My mother is _reall_y passionate about it too." She continues, at least her final statement was more than accurate.

"That's good to have your mothers support." Grace replies but Santana subtly clenches her teeth, staring down at her bowl and twists her spoon in her hand as she sits on pins and needles, but flashes a quick smile in response. "Where does your mother work again?"

"She's an executive accountant, but she doesn't really talk much about her work."

"I find her to be rather psychotic." Brittany gabbles indifferently. Grace shoots Brittany another baffled glance but Santana just rolls her eyes, biting down on her lip as she tries to stifle a smile. Brittany on the other hand seems less phased and observant, keeping her head down as she separates the baked breadcrumbs from the piping-hot apple in her bowl.

"And your father? Grace continues, not wanting to pry on Brittany's statement. Santana, throws back a large gulp from her glass and clicks her tongue; _of course_ this question would be brought up.

"Uhm... I don't really know." Santana sighs, clearing her throat. "He left when I was younger, and I haven't heard from him since." She announces sadly, biting on her lip and keeping her gaze to the floor.

"Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that." Grace apologises for the intrusion but Santana just shrugs and offers her another tight lipped smile. Brittany notices the shift in Santana's expression as she drops her head and sighs quietly. She never actually found out what had happened to Santana's father, but whenever he was spoken of, Santana would always talk with such grace about him. Hearing that he had left Santana and her mother without any contact surprised Brittany, and judging by the way that Santana's eyes dimmed a shade darker and the way her lips no longer curved up at the corners, she must have really missed him.

"Brittany's father is in the military, he's a General." Grace gushes as she begins to gather the plates and cutlery. Brittany grins and nods and Santana admires the way both their faces lit up with the mention of him.

"Well he must be very proud to have such an exceptional daughter and a loving family." Santana praises. Brittany's face flickers into flattery from her kind words and Santana winks in response. Just because it excited her to rile people up, didn't mean that Santana didn't like to dish out a bouquet of blessings. Especially when it was Brittany with her story telling eyes that could scream a million different thank-you's.

"That's very kind for you to say that, Santana. Thank you." Grace chirps, taking Santana's bowl from her.

"Nah, not at all. And thank _you _very much for dinner, it was delicious." She smiles.

"I'm stuffed." Brittany announces, lulling her head back behind the back of her chair, rubbing her stomach and causing Santana to giggle.

"Well I took out some movies from the store, feel free to take a couple if you fancy watching them!" Grace announces walking away back into the kitchen. Santana yawns and stretches. Yep, food was definitely the worlds most organic tranquilliser and the days events had finally begun to catch up on the girls as they sit slouched at the table, heavy lidded and merry.

* * *

><p>Brittany had ventured up stairs to organise her bedroom as Santana agreed to pick out the films from the mix. She studies each one intently, reading the blurb, the actors names and most importantly, how appealing the cover looked.<p>

"If you're a good 'ole romantic like me, I'd choose Casablanca. But then again, I don't know what you girls are into these days..." Grace jokes as she joins Santana at the DVD cabinet in the lounge.

"Never heard of it." Santana shrugs, tracing her fingers across the spines of each case. She manages to pick out three, a horror, a romantic and a romantic comedy – the usual choice - and decides to let Brittany pick the one to watch. Content with her decision, Santana retreats from the cabinet only to be stopped by Graces gentle grasp on her wrist. Santana looks down at her arm then up to Brittany's mother.

"Santana?" Grace says, distress clearly seeping into her voice. _Oh shit, what did she do_? "Brittany is my daughter and she means the world to me. It's a miracle that she has been able to put her trust in you as a friend so quickly, and all I ask for is that you respect that trust. I couldn't bear it if I had to see her heart broken again, it just hurts too much." Grace says, all the life that usually rung through her voice evaporates causing Santana to frown.

"Heart broken, again? I don't understand." Santana replies, confused.

"Oh honey, she didn't tell you?" Santana shakes her head slowly, afraid of what she was about to find out. "Brittany was ambushed at her previous school. A bunch of insensitive girls who had no regards to the extent of Brittany's condition thought it would be funny to invade her privacy one night and test her limits." Grace rubs her eyes at the mere memory of hearing Brittany's despairing scream as she answered the fateful call from the principle in the early hours of the morning. "Let's just say that there were four girls against one, and they hurt, humiliated and left Brittany inconsolable to the point that she wouldn't eat, sleep or even talk for _weeks_. It nearly broke our family apart." Tears sting at the corners of her eyes, her bottom lip trembles and Santana can feel nothing but the blood inside her freeze. "So do you understand? You are _everything_ and more to her. I don't want to scare you or put you under any pressure, honey, but you given Brittany a chance and that's all she's ever wanted, be it a day or a whole century. You're her friend, and that's what she needs." Grace smiles, patting Santana's shoulder with one hand and drying her eye with a handkerchief in the other before leaving Santana in the hallway. For a moment in which Santana couldn't tell how long for, maybe a second, maybe a couple of minutes, but she stood paralysed, unable to think or feel anything but the ice cold sting of guilt. It had occurred to her that she was no better than the girls at Brittany's previous school, if not, worse. She selfishly agreed to befriend Brittany, gain her trust and set her up on a pedestal, only to kick it from underneath her so everyone could watch her fall. Santana was no better than the flakes of dirt she spent scraping out from underneath her finger nails and even so, Santana still wanted to hunt each girl down and tear them apart, she wanted to spit venom at the slight thought of them, she wanted to destroy every last poisonous cell that breathed in their bodies but most of all, she wanted nothing more to do than scar them the way they scarred Brittany. They were disgusting, revolting creatures who had no sub-conscience nor soul and Santana was just like them. The guilt rips through her, causing her to tremor with disdain and self loathing.

She should leave, she should cut out Brittany completely and go back to school as if the last week had never happened, turning into a stranger again. _No_. Brittany already saw a friend in Santana, to do that would only cause her more pain. Santana takes a deep breath and tries to focus as her eyes leer over to the front door leading out on the porch. She could make a run for it and pretend that she came down with some terrible, life threatening illness that was so contagious that no-one could visit her for weeks. By then Brittany would hopefully have moved on. Or she could just tell Brittany the truth; tell her that she wasn't meant to feel anything for Brittany, especially empathy and that she was just some device to gain popularity. Maybe Santana should tell her that everything had been turned upside down and inside out during spending time with her, and it was now Brittany who had the hold on Santana. Maybe she should just tell Brittany everything, and hope for the best.

"Santana?" The familiar, sugary tone from Brittany's gentle voice shakes her from her thoughts. Santana turns around slowly, barely able to even look at Brittany without her stomach churning in knots. Brittany stands at the foot of the stairs in a duck patterned onesie and registers the disloyal expression that haunts Santana's face. "Santana, what's wrong?" Brittany asks. Santana bites her lip, and for once, she's the one who is unable to lift her eyes from the ground.

"Brittany, there's something I need to tell you..." She croaks, trying to stifle the anxiety that shakes her voice but fails miserably. Brittany unexpectedly grins and hops over to her, taking the DVD cases and studies them.

"That's good because I have something to tell you too..." Brittany replies, skimming through the movie choices.

"Oh okay, then you tell me first." Santana knew the longer she left it, the harder she would be able to admit the truth, but she couldn't leave Brittany devastated with something she wanted to get out in mind. Santana's eyes discreetly flicker up to Brittany's and regrets it immediately. Like usual, Brittany humble stare sends Santana into a hypnotic state and she can't look away again; if this was the last time she were to see Brittany like this ever again, then she wanted to note every pigment of colour in the spirals of her eyes, every freckle dotted across her nose and every fair lock of hair that brushed against her cheek.

"I just wanted to let you know that you've given me one of the best weeks of my life. I wish I could collect all the stars in the entire universe, every milky way in each galaxy and give them to you in a pocket bag to say thank you. But I can't. So instead, I want to give you this..." Brittany dips her hand into her behind pocket before retrieving a flimsy object in in her hand. She dangles what appears to be a thin chain in front of Santana, where a small vintage light-weight brass key swings at the bottom. Santana twists her head in curiosity.

"A key?" She asks. Brittany just nods and tip toes around Santana so she's standing behind her. Santana lifts her hair up automatically with her hand, letting Brittany fix the necklace around her neck and shivers as the cold metal touches her skin. "But what's it for?"

"You'll find out in time. I mean, I couldn't tell you now, because that would defeat the WHOLE purpose of it all." Brittany's wears is smug grin as she shimmies back around to face Santana again. "You'll just know when it's time to use it. You have my faith in that." Santana takes the key that sits perfectly above her heart between her fingers and inspects it fondly.

"I'm digging the antique look." She jokes, but flashes Brittany a gratified smile.

"So what was it that you wanted to tell me?" Brittany changes the subject, asking with anticipated eyes. Santana's stomach drops as well as her face, but holds the key tightly in her grasp.

"Brittany..." She whispers shamefully.

_You've given me on of the best weeks of my life._

_You are_ everything_ and more to her._

"Brittany... I" Santana stutters out, unable to form a complete sentence and like the previous night before in the forest, familiar voices blur Santana's vision as spurts of animated memories play with her train of though. All of which were memories of Brittany.

_You deserve all the happiness in the world. You deserve everything._

_Maybe one day you will get to have those things with somebody? _

"Are you okay?" Brittany asks, stirred by Santana's erratic response as she rubs her eyes furiously, trying to shake her internal intruders.

_Because you and me. We're more alike than you think._

"I'm going to make you better." Santana blurts out unexpectedly. Brittany narrows her eyes in confusion but doesn't say anything to question. "I'm going to fix you so one day you can actually _hold_ that persons hand... So you can have your first kiss with that someone and it'll be even _more_ romantic than the dumb movies". Santana announces breathlessly as she feels her insides jitter uncontrollably. "So in the middle of the night, when you wake up from a really shitty dream, that person can hold you and show you that everything's going to be okay because they will always be there. I don't care if it takes weeks, months or even years for you to get better, but it's the least I can do." Santana knew that what she was doing was risky, but there was a reason why these last few days happened and it wasn't for Santana to throw it away like trash. The girls had already learned so much from each other in so little time that it wasn't just a coincidence in an unforeseen circumstance. It was a plan, a journey down the unfamiliar path that God himself had drawn out. It was fate. Santana already knew that she was going to pay for her deception one day, but the last thing she wanted to see was Brittany suffer any more, it was morally wrong and plain inhumane, even a girl like Santana Lopez realised that. Santana takes a deep breath and looks up again, only to find Brittany staring back with the most heartfelt expression on her face, letting her know that she was in fact deeply touched._ Good_. Because that was the first step to recovery.

* * *

><p>After a light-hearted debate over what movie to watch, despite previously letting Brittany choose, the girls settle with 'Definitely, Maybe'. Brittany had originally rooted for 'A Walk to Remember' because she heard of Mandy Moors' character's fascination with the stars but Santana decided to blurt out that she died in a final attempt to turn her off watching it. There was no way that she was going to sit in the same room as Brittany and watch that movie with her. Fortunately, her little spoiler spill worked yet Brittany kept adamant that they would one day watch it together.<p>

"April was my favourite anyway, I'm glad they got together in the end." Brittany mumbles, chewing on the sweet-toffee popcorn as the credits begin to roll on the television.

"Yeah, she was pretty cool." Santana agrees, crunching alongside Brittany on the bed with the bowl of popcorn between her knees. Brittany had let Santana borrow a Pink Panther onesie that was a size too big for her, and Brittany insisted that she looked like Piglet with saggy skin, making Santana scowl of course.

"I'm bored. Let's do something." Santana announces, licking her fingers as Brittany switches the bedside lamp on. "You ever played truth or Dare?" She asks with playful eyes. Brittany shakes her head.

"What do you think?" Santana scoffs at Brittany's glum response and bounces to the middle of the bed on to her knees.

"Okay, so I don't think we can play it the original way. Because of your... Thing." Santana eyes Brittany in her one piece outfit. "So this is how it's going to go down: I tell you a fact about me. Sometimes it will be true, other times false. If you guess true correctly, then you get to know something about me. If you guess it incorrectly, then... Well you'll see." Santana clasps her hand excitedly, now sitting crossed legged. Brittany leans against the headboard, intrigued yet anxious but plays along, stealing the popcorn from her. "First one: I'm a senior at High School."

"True." Brittany immediately replies and Santana nods her head.

"I am an only child."

"True." Santana nods her head again.

"You're getting good at this." She says, stealing a handful of popcorn and throwing some into her mouth.

"But these are easy." Brittany yawns, clearly not as enthusiastic.

"The first trophy I won was when I was three." Santana clicks her tongue, smug.

"True?" Brittany replies, a lot less sure this time. Santana makes an "Eeeh-aww" sound with her voice to illustrate that Brittany was in fact wrong.

"False, I was five. Okay, now I dare you to switch that light off beside you." She orders, nodding her head towards the direction of the lamp. Brittany looks at Santana with an unsure expression but Santana just smiles in reassurance. Brittany turns and reaches over to the lamp before clicking it off. Only the dull static from the television lights up the room in a gloomy haze, and Brittany can see nothing but Santana's dark silhouette looking down at her.

"When there's no-one around, I tend to talk to myself." Santana whispers.

"True?" Santana breaths out a laugh and Brittany can make out her nodding.

"I love being in the Cheerios."

"True." Brittany states firmly. Santana hesitates to answer for a good moment as her hands rustle through the popcorn bowl and Brittany almost wonders if she even heard her.

"No, actually. That's false. I fucking hate it." Santana confesses, crunching on the snack. "Every time I go into that gymnasium and see Sue Sylvester's face, I want to go up to her, grab that damn red track-suit of hers, and kick her in the _dick_." The resentment in Santana's voice was so bitter she could taste the vinegar.

"Wait... Di-what? She's a-" Brittany stutters, trying to make sense of Santana's comment.

"It doesn't matter," Santana interrupts. "I dare you to lie down on your back." She watches as Brittany squints in the dull light, but obeys Santana's orders and shuffles down the bed so she's facing the ceiling. Santana moves to give Brittany more room and sits beside her head at the pillow after placing the bowl of popcorn at the other end of the bed.

"I've never been in love before." Santana mumbles, checking for any cracks in her nails.

"True?"

"Good girl, and I have never had any romantic feelings for anyone._ Ever_. The F word scares the shit out of me."

"False, I've heard you say fuck plenty of times." Brittany concludes but Santana doesn't register her answer. Instead, there's another pause as she stays deep in thought before sighing heavily.

"Roll up your sleeves." She orders assertively, being unable to confirm whether Brittany was right or not. Brittany swallows cautiously but continues to listen and fallow her rules. She rolls up each sleeve past her elbow and takes a deep breath, looking up at Santana but only being able to make out her inky, penetrative eyes in the ill-shaded light. The atmosphere begins to change in the room to almost feeling criminal, yet the feeling exhilarates both of the girls.

"Back during dinner, when you thought that I was... trying to... s_educe_ you. It was only merely to wind you up."

"If that was a wind up, then you definitely know how to make me-"

"True or false, Brittany." Santana interrupts, taking a strand of Brittany's golden hair and wrapping it between her fingers. Brittany can feel Santana slightly tug, but that she was comfortable with.

"True?" Brittany breathes out.

"Close your eyes." Brittany looks up at Santana with her brows stitching together in a dubious expression. Santana just looks back down at her with certainty in her eyes, that causes her features to become more angelic under the dim light. "I'm _not_ going to hurt you Brittany." Brittany nods hesitantly, feeling a little more at ease and closes her eyes, taking deep, steady breaths. Santana takes a larger lock of Brittany's hair, and begins to pleat it making Brittany relax into a more therapeutic state.

"Ever since my father left, my mother has never looked at me without having a split of anger in her eyes, and over time, the anger that was projected onto me, I projected onto others." Santana admits, not needing Brittany to answer. "Unzip your pyjamas so your neck is showing." She says before Brittany can reply. Brittany flutters out a breath and raises a shaky hand, grabbing her zip. "Keep your eyes closed." Santana whispers, grabbing a pillow and digging through the case, pulling out a duck feather. Brittany draws the zip down just above her chest, revealing the perfect angular shape of her jaw and neckline as well as her naked collar bone. "Now I'm not going to touch you, but you _are_ going to feel something."

"Santana?" Brittany murmurs, keeping her eyes closed, despite feeling conflicted regarding about what was going to happen.

"Shh. Place your hands by your side with your palms facing up to the ceiling." Brittany licks her lips nervously and nods; she could trust Santana, she could do this. "Good, now, you're going to feel something touch you on your left index finger. Don't worry, it'll be gentle and it will be the _only_ thing that you'll feel, nothing else will touch you. Do you understand?" Brittany nods again but her stomach flutters. Santana rolls the white feather between her fingers like she did with the key around her neck and watches Brittany ready herself and relax, taking in deep breaths. Her lips were slightly parted, and a crease had formed between her brows as she felt more apprehensive about the whole scenario. Santana bites her lip as casts her gaze down at Brittany, somewhat feeling like a predator which sparks the fuel inside her. She carries the feather down to Brittany's hand and softly strokes it against Brittany's finger, causing Brittany to jerk her a little in response as her breath to catch in her throat. Santana holds it against her for a moment, not moving and waiting for Brittany to get accustomed to the feeling of each individual notch that weighed nothing more than a grain of salt. When Santana feels that Brittany is ready again, she begins to move the feather down her finger and to the middle of her palm causing Brittany's fingers twitch. Santana smiles, noting every reflex. "How are you feeling?" She whispers.

"Nervous... B-but I trust you." Brittany exhales shakily. Santana smirks and continues to sail the feather against Brittany's hand, travelling past her writs and up her arm. "Kinda tickles." Brittany smiles softly, rolling her fist into a ball as the feather tickles the inside of her elbow. Santana watches Brittany for an almost silent period of time. She watches the way Brittany licks her lips every time the feather skims across a new spot on her arm , and listens to every hitch in Brittany's breath, noting down what areas were more sensitive than others. Without breaking contact, Santana shifts her legs from underneath her and lies herself next to Brittany, propping up on one elbow with the feather in the other hand. Santana removes the feather from Brittany's arm and slowly repositions her hand above her face. She stops to feel the heat radiating from Brittany's cheeks before brushing the feather above the skin there. Brittany jumps at the sudden contact but regains her composure and allows Santana to continue. "I can feel the heat off your hand." Brittany mutters, breathlessly.

"I'm not going to touch you." Santana reassures her, grazing the feather from her ear, across her jaw-line and down her neck causing Brittany pant out as Goosebumps carpet across her skin.

"Keep on going, it feels nice." Brittany urges on. Santana grants Brittany's wish and drags the feather across her collar bone as slow as possible, almost in torturous manner but keeping her eyes glued to Brittany at all times, watching every reaction. Brittany's trembles with each breath and Santana bites down hard on the corner of her bottom lip, completely captivated by Brittany's response. Santana scoots closer to Brittany as her hand with the feather travels across to the right side of her head. Brittany suddenly feels Santana's breath trickle down her neck like warm, thick liquid causing her to tilt her chin up and mumble incoherent messages under her breath. Santana begins to feel the heat that musters between the girls as her heart begins to race, almost matching the rate of Brittany's which was audible for both of them to hear. Santana guides the feather down across Brittany's plump bottom lip. _Such kissable lips_... Santana's closes her eyes and pants out helplessly, sending a burning trail down Brittany's neck, causing a small moan to escape her lips and right into Santana's ear. Santana immediately drops her head onto the pillow next to Brittany's. _What the fuck was she doing_? She lifts the feather away from Brittany's face before propping herself up again and reaching over Brittany to turn the lamp back on. Brittany groans at the loss of contact and slowly opens her eyes, squinting in the vividness. She finds Santana glaring back at her, now sitting at the bottom of the bed, her eyes are completely black under her thick, hooded lashes with an unrecognisable expression. There was something sinister there, something in her that wept of greed.

"That's what it _really_ feels like to be seduced..." Santana states, her voice and octave or two lower. Her eyes roam over Brittany's body shamelessly for a good moment before she draws her gaze else where. "I need to freshen up before bed." She announces more anxiously this time and doesn't hesitate to run out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, leaving Brittany completely bewitched, parched in the middle of her bed, meddling in what the hell just happened.

* * *

><p>Santana makes sure that the door is completely locked behind her before unzipping the one piece pyjama set to let some air around her hot skin. Her back is damp with sweat and her cheeks are speckled with pink pigments. She runs the cold tap at the sink and examines her face in the mirror in front but her eyes are drawn to the antique key that sits around her neck instead. The pattern of the bow was shaped like the Queen's royal crown and even though it was made from brass, the key shone golden under the light. She takes it in her hand and smiles before an unfamiliar feeling arouses in her stomach. She shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath before bending down to the sink to slurp the water from the tap. She stands in that position for a while, letting the cold ceramic sink cool her face before deciding to cup her hand under the faucet, letting the water pour into a pool before throwing it over her face. She repeats this a couples of times then reaches for the towel beside her, patting her face in soft material. Even though she manages to cool down, the butterflies in her stomach become more violent to the point it almost tickles her. She shuffles across the room and sits on the toilet seat with the towel perched around her neck. <em>What the hell did just happen<em>? She meant what she said about making Brittany better, and the whole purpose of her game of truth or dare _was _so that she could test Brittany's boundaries. However, the growing hunger inside of her was foreign to her; every gasp that escaped Brittany's lips, every flicker of her eyes, every murmur and twitch sent Santana into a frenzy, she fed off it. Yes, she had her fair share of seducing guys and the odd girl, but from it she only found satisfaction within herself to make someone else feel like that. However, this time, She felt laid bare, exposed and affected by Brittany's every response. She wanted it even more than ever, and in that moment, she wanted _her._

* * *

><p>Brittany's bedroom door creaks open as Santana pops her head through to check that she hadn't disturbed Brittany. After all, she had been locked in the bathroom for the best part of an hour. Thankfully, Brittany didn't stir an inch as Santana tip toed in thinking that it was best to sleep on it, and hopefully all would be forgotten in the morning. Santana carefully closes the door behind her and switches the television off on her way to the bed. She eyes Brittany, sprawled out and spent but can't help but smile and shake her head. Santana sits on the edge of the mattress and looks down at her, looking nothing short of picture perfect as she dreamt. Brittany's breaths were steady now, breathing through her mouth in a small 'o' and Santana notices the white feather clutched in her hand, causing her to giggle quietly. She raises her arm to brush Brittany's head of hair with her hand gently, making sure that it was only the soft blonde lockets that she touched.<p>

"I'm not going to hurt you. I promise." Santana whispers before studying the architecture of Brittany's position on the bed. There was no way Santana would be able to lie down without having to physically move Brittany, so she disregards the bed all together and moves her attention towards the window ledge. Santana grabs the comforter that Brittany had managed to dodge and and tiredly walks over to the window, climbing up on the ledge and sliding herself into a comfortable. She yawns ferociously for a while, her eyes dampen and become heavy as the first rays of the morning sun creep through the branches and into Brittany's bedroom.

"Goodnight Brittany." Santana whispers, before falling into a deep sleep.

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter VI<em>

**Hmm, so Santana's starting to feel a little fragile when it comes to Brittany.  
><strong>**I wonder what her friends will think when she goes back to school?**


	7. Chapter VII

_[AN] Hey! Just wanted to say thank you for your patience and I apologise for taking so long to update. It's been a hectic month for me, but every time I've had the chance, I've made sure I wrote something, even if it was a line. I just want to say that I am overwhelmed with the reviews and they do motivate me to work harder, so thank you everyone. Enjoy chapter seven!_

_**CHAPTER VII**_

* * *

><p>"<em>Santana?"<em>

"_Yes?"_

"_Does it hurt?"_

"_Sometimes. Have you ever been so angry that it feels like your own blood begins to boil inside and nothing but fire courses through your body? Does it hurt? Sometimes. But when it does, it's excruciating."_

"_Santana?"_

"_Yes, Brittany?"_

_Santana opens her eyes after Brittany remains silent as well as the rest of the world. The light is dazzling and causes Santana to squint under nothing but whiteness. A cool breeze sails across her skin that gently kisses away the aches that feeds at her body. She swiftly glides her hands across the ground that she lies on and can feel the bristles from the grass tickle at her palms._

"_Brittany, where are you?" She asks._

"_I'm right here." Brittany whispers softly that's almost like an echo in Santana's ear. Santana flutters her eyelashes, trying to take in as much sunlight as she can without being blinded by the brilliant light. Luckily, her head is cushioned and soon she feels a pair of hands gently stroke the raven ringlets away from her face. As the threads of hair fall away, Santana catches a glimpse of Brittany hovering above her, smiling down. She looked even more beautiful than Santana could remember; her porcelain skin glows radiantly and her teal-crystal eyes pierce right through Santana's soul. _

"_Does it hurt now?" Brittany asks, biting her lip while she grazes her thumb gently across Santana's cheek. Santana closes her eyes and exhales peacefully._

"_Not any more." Santana smiles._

"_Santana?" Brittany asks again._

"_M-hmm?"_

"_Let me take the pain away..."_

Santana opens her eyes for the second time, only this time she does so with a lot more effort as tiredness suddenly springs up on her. She blinks the sleep away from the corners of her eyes only to find that she's back in Brittany's room, curled up next to the window where the sunlight washes over her. She turns away from the vivid light that burns her vision. She was only dreaming after all and yet, she could still feel a warm trail lingering along her cheek where she though Brittany had touched her. She turns back around to gaze out of the window and notices that she left her own still open. A knot starts to form at the pit of her stomach causing her to look over to the bed where Brittany lies sound asleep, looking so much at peace that Santana was afraid to move an inch in case she woke. However, looking back to her window again, she knew what she had to do.

* * *

><p>"Santana?" Brittany mumbles loudly in her sleep, causing her to stir awake. She stares at the ceiling for a moment before remembering last nights encounter with Santana and the way she managed to set Brittany's whole body alight by a single touch of a feather. It was like magic, it was euphoric and even in the early hours of the morning; Brittany can't help but grin widely under her blanket. '<em>That's what it really feels like to be seduced...<em>' Santana's voice replays in her head. Brittany closes her eyes again to relive the memory; the way Santana looked at Brittany with dark, predatory eyes. The way she hissed out the words like whiskey and chocolate and the way the edge of her mouth curled with up with each roll of her tongue. Again, Brittany feels her heart beginning to beat quicker as the images flash through her mind. She flicks her eyes open again and looks back to the ceiling, trying to shake such thoughts. She turns her head and takes a quick gaze around the room; and notices that Santana's presence was still missing since she bailed out on her last night. Brittany rubs away the tiredness with her fists and takes another hard look around the bedroom to make sure that she was definitely alone. When she does, she can't help but feel disappointed. She wonders if Santana had even bothered to come back? Was she embarrassed about what happened? Or did she just have seconds thoughts about the whole thing? For Brittany, there was still so much more explore with Santana; this was only the beginning for her and if that was what Santana called being seduced, then Brittany had definitely been left wanting for more.

* * *

><p>Santana stands at her front door, eyeing the cream paint work that was long overdue another coat as it begins to split, causing flakes to fall like snow-drops to the decking at her feet. For a while, she does nothing but stand there with her arms and her fingers crossed. If her mother was still asleep, then maybe she had the chance to sneak away to her room till at least mid-day. But if she were awake, well then, Santana would have to think of a thousand excuses under a second for her spontaneous behaviour over the weekend. She inhales a deep breath and holds it there in a moment of anticipation and that's when she notices she was still wearing Brittany's pyjamas. Yes, if she walked into her home to greet her mother in a Pink Panther one-piece, then she really would have to think of something spectacular and believable and it would have to be fast.<p>

_'Fuck it.' _She thinks to herself and proceeds to carefully twist the door knob. The door slowly cracks open and swings inside, causing the hinges to creak out and moan and as if hell had already cleared its path to Satan's gates, Santana's mother sat on the dark leather couch in the lounge. Waiting.

"Why don't you come inside, _daughter?_" Anita speaks in a tone that would seem so feral to the outside world, however, Santana had heard her mother speak this way plenty of times that it was nothing short of common. Nonetheless, it still caused the hairs on the backs of her arms to stand up when she did. Anita doesn't look at her daughter, instead she watches the embers from the fireplace dance circles around each other as the fire rages. Santana uncrosses her arms and twiddles her thumbs nervously. Yes, sometimes Santana was able to brush off any confrontation with her mother like it was no big deal, even make a mockery out of it, but it was moments like these when Santana knew that she would have to shut the fuck up if she wanted to come out of the argument unscathed. "Don't keep me waiting." Anita threatens. Santana takes a shaky breath before stepping inside, quietly shutting the door behind her. She doesn't move or even dares to flinch as her Mother twists her head around slowly and looks her dead in the eyes. _If looks could kill_. Anita immediately notices the pink pyjama outfit and her eyes turn narrow, scoffing under her breath and looking at her daughter as if she were some ill-nourished circus-freak. "Would you care to enlighten me as to why you're wearing such a ridiculous outfit and walking in broad daylight with it on?" Anita begins her questioning as expected and Santana can't help but feel her palms start to sweat under the pressure. "_Well?_" Anita continues, fishing for some rational explanation. Santana darts her eyes around the room as her heart begins to race faster in a way Brittany had felt so many times before her.

"I... I stayed a Quinn's? She dropped me off?" Santana's statement was more of a question to ask if she had sounded convincing or not and she knew the answer was the latter. Anita purses her lips, eyeing her daughter up and down in a hard, unconvinced expression.

"And your bag? You _must_ have taken an overnight bag."

"I left it." Santana quickly answers back, trying her best not to hesitate. Anita turns to her tea cup and saucer that rests on her lap and carefully brings it to her mouth, taking an elegant sip before resting the china back in the saucer again. Santana flashes a quick glance at the open door to the hall and wants nothing more to do than charge for the stairs and flee into her room. "C-can I go now? I have a lot of school work." She stutters. The worst thing that made Santana uneasy was the way her mother always acted before a heated argument; she was far too calm and collected and far too damn casual to not be mad.

"On your way..." Anita announces, her eyes fixated back onto the fireplace again. Santana lingers for a moment to make sure that she was really free to go. Finally convinced she was in the green, she quickly shuffles to the hall, eyeing the kitchen on the way. Of course all the mess had been cleared from the previous night, yet it was a lot more polished that usual. Pristine even. "There's just one thing I don't understand." Anita continues from the lounge, stopping Santana just as she approaches the foot of the stairs. '_Shit'._ "If you stayed at Quinn's last night, then why did I find her at my doorstep thirty minutes ago wondering why she hadn't heard from you all weekend?" Anita asks in a low growl. Santana doesn't answer, she can only feel her throat get tighter after every beat of silence. She listens intently for any shift in the lounge before hearing the china from the tea cup clatter together as Anita places the set on the coffee table. She couldn't run and hide in her closet this time nor could she think of a plausible excuse for her absence without admitting spending time with Brittany. Santana suddenly hears her mothers footsteps against the laminate flooring as she draws nearer. She can feel every step under her own feet as the floor vibrates up and through the rest of her body causing her to grab the stair bannister for support. "Why is it then, when I came home with my guests that I found the kitchen to be left in an abysmal; a pig sty?" The strain in Anita's voice becomes more hoarse with each word and Santana knows she had no other option than to be honest. Santana turns around to be met by her mother whose face was far from compromising; in fact, she looked destructive. "Why is it when one of my guests took to one of your muffins - that you so _thoughtfully_ dished out in the lounge – his face resembled nothing but disgust for the rest of the night which even went as far as making him loose his appetite?" Anita seethes in anger now, inching closer to her daughter who doesn't flinch, doesn't even breath. "Tell me Santana, and I want you to be honest for Christ's sake, are you on drugs?" Anita asks through ground teeth. Santana jerks back, surprised by her mothers accusation.

"What? NO!" Santana snaps back in defence. Surprisingly Anita begins to laugh and nod her head. Santana backs away, trying to worm her way out but only feels more trapped under her mothers penetrating stare.

"Of course you would say that. Then how the _hell_ do you explain this?" Anita spits, pushing her fist into Santana's chest and revealing the bag that Santana had used to store her weed. "There's marijuana remains all over it, so not only are you lying to me, but you're also a drug addict!" She shouts. Santana takes the bag and starts scrambling for excuses but her throat grows increasingly dryer.

"I-it...it's not mine! I swear!" Santana exclaims.

"Do _not_ take me for a damn fool Santana! How else would you explain your lying about going to Puck's party and staying at Quinns? Are you staying with someone? Have they got you into this?" Anita begins to interrogate as she edges closer.

"No!" Santana retorts, tears forming in her eyes.

"No? NO? Okay then, explain why the hell you'd want to sabotage_ my_ run for mayor by poisoning my guests and _ridiculing_ me in front of everyone at my own dinner party? You do this, you go missing for the night and you come back dressed like that? Is this some sick joke of yours? What has gotten into you?" Anita's eyes boar into Santana's.

"I promise!" Santana cries out, helpless under her own mothers fury. "It was just once, I promise. The bag belonged to a friend, I swear, Mama!"

"So you _have_ been taking drugs? I can't believe this!" Anita bellows out, waving her hands in the air with exasperation. "Do you have any idea, _any_ idea how much this job means to me?" Anita's knuckle turns white as she curls her hands into fists. "You cut this fucking behaviour out right now or I swear to god you'll be out in the streets faster than you can snort a line of cocaine, do you understand me?"

"But mom..."

"No! And you don't speak unless you're spoken to. Do you hear me?"

"Yes." Santana winces in a way that is completely unrecognisable from the Santana people would see at school.

"Good. Now go to your room, I don't want to see you for the rest of the day." Anita breaths out, exhausted from her anger and turns away without giving her daughter a second look. Santana stays frozen at the bottom of the stairwell for a moment, letting the encounter soak in. "And I want your training doubled, I don't want you to leave that gym till six every weekday, you're lucky I haven't sent you away to military school yet." And with that, Anita returns to the lounge to finish her tea.

"It's for the best... It's for the best, Santana." Santana tells herself with her eyes squeezed shut, trying to hold herself together. She takes a slow, shaky breath and opens her eyes again before running up to her room, not to be heard again that night.

* * *

><p>Brittany hums an unfamiliar tune under her breath as she paints her toenails in a nude shade, propped up on her bedroom window ledge. She stayed there most of the day and now that the sun had long set, she had not yet heard anything from Santana and was beginning to wonder if she was really having second thoughts afterall. Brittany found herself occasionally glancing across to Santana's room but the curtains were drawn all day, not flinching at all once.<p>

"You'll see her tomorrow at school." Brittany tells herself, tightening the lid on the polish bottle and grabbing the comforter that was strangely placed by the window. "There's always tomorrow."

* * *

><p>Brittany scuffs her feet lazily across the gravel as she approaches the school entrance, keeping her head hung low and eyes glued to the the ground. She hadn't lifted her head up since stepping onto the school bus that morning. She used her bangs as a curtain to hide behind and shield herself from the wondering eyes of the other students who were curious as to who the new girl on board was. Luckily, she managed to find an isle to sit alone in and was able to look outside the window and watch the world pass by in peace. The journey wasn't long, twenty minutes or so but for some reason, Brittany didn't want it to end. Even though the weather had turned for the worst, she admired the way the droplets of rain batted against and cascaded down the window pane. She watched as people outside rushed by in a hurry, sheltering themselves under bus stops, soaked new papers, hoods and umbrella's. Everyone had a place to be, everyone had a mind of their own and Brittany found unity in that. Everyone had a purpose in life no matter what obstacles were thrown in the way and Brittany had a purpose too. Still, there was that inkling in the back of her mind that she'd always be known as the girl with no face, but for now, as long as she remained invisible, that was the best thing for her. She walks up the path to the school, making sure that she doesn't step on the cracks in the ground as people barge past ignorantly. She counts the raindrops that fall on her feet as the clouds above become heavier and more ferocious.<p>

"Well, even the weather doesn't look as depressing as your face right now." A confident, snarky voice says. Brittany shoots her gaze up and finds Santana standing a couple of feet in front of her, arms crossed and wearing that familiar smirk across her face. Brittany's mouth automatically grows into a grin as she comes to a halt at the end of the path. "That's better." Santana winks. For a moment, no words are exchanged, only knowing looks that tells the other they are happy to see them.

"I...I didn't know if I was going to see you today." Brittany explains with a lightly concerned expression, but the relief in her voice suggests otherwise. Santana raises an eyebrow and tilts her head.

"Of course I was!" Santana dismisses her concern but bites her lip deep in thought. She takes a good look at Brittany who returns the glance just as strongly yet she can sense the void that has aroused in Brittany since she left. "I'm sorry I ran out on you." Santana apologises sincerely and Brittany nods. "I just need you to hang in there for a while, even when I'm not around, okay?" Santana's voice cracks as she turns her gaze away from Brittany. Brittany watches as Santana's face transitions into pain. The memories of yesterday shakes Santana; the way she sat cooped up in her room all day like some battery farm chicken, just waiting for her gruesome execution, too numb to even move from her bed.

"Santana... Are you okay?" Brittany asks. Santana blinks a couple of times, avoiding any signs of concern and smiles tightly.

"I'm always good." She says in a more positive manner. Brittany nods before scrunching up her face and holds her hands in front of her nose, yelping out a sneeze.

"Bless you." Santana says. "I 'aint feeling all that great either; It feels like I swallowed razorblades. I'm not surprised after out bath in the lake on Friday night."

"You sound just like Louis Armstrong." Brittany agrees causing Santana to chortle out in no surprise. Both of them sigh in synchronisation as they smile at one another in a moment of silence. Suddenly, Santana notices a shift far past Brittany's left shoulder as the rest of the cheerios begin to gather round at the bleachers.

"Uhm... listen, I'll see you later in class, okay?" Santana flashes a quick grin at Brittany, dashing past before she can get a word of goodbye in. Brittany raises her head to face the sky and frowns at the clouds for being being so glum, then begins to walk again, chin up and this time her feet lifting off the ground.

Santana trots down the path towards the football field where the rest cheerios gather for their morning routine and of course, Quinn waits, watching Santana with her hands on her hips and a face like a slapped ass.

"And where the hell have you been all weekend? I tried calling you like million times!" She scowls, Santana just scoffs as she joins in with the sea of girls in red.

"Sorry, mother. I'll make sure to call you back next time." Santana snaps in reply.

"Cut the crap, where were you? You were supposed be at the party with your new _girlfriend_ remember?" Quinn retorts, causing some of the other girls to giggle in response. Santana just rolls her eyes at Quinn's lame attempt to rile her up.

"I got flu and I'm still feeling like shit and if you want proof then why don't you come over here and let me breath all over you? Then tomorrow, you'll wake up feeling as fresh as Coach Sylvester's sweaty undergarments. " Santana folds her arm and shift her weight to one foot and watches as Quinn cringes at the imagery.

"So... what's the progress with _her_?" Quinn nods in the direction from where Santana and Brittany were talking earlier, before looking back at Santana and watching her with narrow, judgemental eyes.

"Slow progress, hardly any, actually." Santana immediately lies, dropping her attention from Quinn and onto the circle of other girls who had all turned quiet to listen. "I mean, with my being ill, I've only really seen her at school." Santana licks her lips and straightens her shoulders in an attempt to look confident. However, Quinn catches the hitch in her voice and the way Santana's eyes shift nervously. She suspects differently.

"I made a little visit to your house yesterday morning. Your mom said she had no idea where you were..." Quinn questions with a glint of hope that maybe Santana would slip up about something, something that didn't fit in. Santana nods in agreement and shrugs her shoulders, wearing a nonchalant expression.

"Sure, I went for a walk, you know. My temperature was up and I needed to cool down." She replies, finding the hem from the bottom of her cheer outfit and scrunching it up in her fist.

"Well, you do sound like utter shit." Quinn cackles along with the rest of the group and Santana watches them all, facing towards her in a semi-circle with Quinn in the centre. There was something wrong with that; it should have been Santana in the middle, so in old Santana fashion, she takes a breath and takes a beat. She steps forward and squares up to Quinn with her eyes casting down on her.

"I got this." She whispers coldly. Quinn's eyes flicker up and down Santana's hard face. "Don't think I don't." The rest of the group are left in an awkward silence as the two main cheerleaders stare each other down competitively. "And just to remind you... This girl's had a bad weekend so I really wouldn't want to fuck with me today, got it?" Santana threatens. Quinn breaks eye contact before backing off, clearing her throat and dusts off her cheer uniform.

"Lets go work out, _girls_." Quinn orders, looking back up to Santana. "Are you coming?" Santana bites her tongue, but follows the crowd without a word.

* * *

><p>It had just turned lunchtime but it felt like Brittany had been at school for an eternity. Seconds dragged on like minutes, minutes passed like hours and Brittany just wanted the day to end. This was officially her first day on her own. No parents, no guidance and definitely no sign of Santana. Brittany waited for her in biology, but her chair remained vacant throughout the whole class, so she was stuck with Mike Chang giving her evocative looks all period. Luckily Brittany didn't really catch on and could only guess that he was just having a difficult time with some of the questions.<p>

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Pippi Longstocking." A familiar, voice drones. Brittany flicks her eyes up and almost makes an eye roll when she finds Coach Sue Sylvester in her infamous red tracksuit, peering down on her.

"B-but...Pippi Longstocking has red hair." Brittany replies, focusing her gaze back to the floor as she attempts to walk away.

"My point prescisely." Sue agrees, raising an arm and leaning against the wall next to Brittany's head "The more reason to bleach your hair in harmful peroxides until your hair feels like a wire scrubbing-brush, because lets face it; nobody wants to be ginger."

"Well, t-that's quite offensive."

"What's you're name again?" Sue asks.

"Bri-"

"I hear you've made acquaintances with my head cheerleader Santana?" Sue butts in.

"She...she t-told you about me?" Brittany looks up again, with a glint of surprise in her eyes, yet terrified by the coaches towering stance.

"Never breathed a damn word abou'chya kid." Sue dispels.

"Oh."

"I want you on my team; you don't even have to try out for it." Sue confesses, rubbing her hands together in the hope to recruit a new cheerio.

"No thanks. I said I didn't want to." Brittany makes herself clear and takes advantage of the gap between the wall and the coach and dashes out.

"_She's a demon child_." Sue whispers to herself as she watches Brittany cower away. "Barbaric."

* * *

><p>The halls began to empty as students settled for lunch letting Brittany feel more at ease. She approaches the entrance to the cafeteria and takes a peek inside. The place is colorful and energetic, with people falling over each other to get in line at the dinner queue and groups settling into their seats, ready to tuck into their feast. Brittany gazes over to the cheerleaders group, and unsurprisingly, Santana is not there. Brittany sighs, watching how friends chat in groups, laughing and basking in each others company without any second thought of worry of what anyone else thinks. She watches how a few couples kiss and hold one another and the others who flirt, exchanging shy smiles and small touches. She drags herself away from the door and back into the hall, deciding that it would be best to miss lunch all together. She trails her fingers across the notice boards, reading posters about teen sex to small adverts from students offering money in exchange for someone to do their homework. As she wonders further into an unfamiliar part of the school, she hears light music waltzing around the halls. A piano plays a soft melody, accompanied by a woman with a voice as clear as crystal which immediately grabs at Brittany's attention, inviting her in. She approaches the last room at the end of the corridor and can hear a soulful harmony with more voices accompanying the song as she draws nearer. When she finally reaches the end of the hall, the music is lively, people are clapping and laughing and it sheds light on Brittany's somewhat dour mood. She listens behind the door, unsure weather or not to have a look in but thinking it couldn't hurt, she steps onto her tiptoes to look through the window of the door. There's a group of maybe five or six kids, with a hazel-oak piano in the centre of the room. A girl with mahogany hair stands next to the piano with her back faced to Brittany as she sings in front of the rest of the group, who are seated in rigged chairs in the audience. Brittany immediately notices how they don't fit with one another, more so you couldn't categorise them as one clique. The brunette girl is dressed as if she were sixteen going on thirty-six. Another girl, an Asian, dresses like a Goth, similar to the ones Brittany had seen huddled together outside as if they were plotting some sort of voodoo against anyone who gave them a second glance, only she looked a little more happier to exist. There was a boy in a wheelchair, who had thick rimmed spectacles and dressed like Brittany's deceased Grandfather, but he was cheerful too at least. Another boy sat next to him wearing what looked like expensive attire but with a pout that screamed unimpressed as he flicked one leg over the other and paid more attention to his nails than the girls performance. Last but not least there was an African-American girl, a little bigger than the rest but very glamorous and together, they all looked like a group of...<p>

"Misfits." Brittany snaps her head round in surprise to find a girl standing close behind as she peeks into the room aswell. She was dressed in the same cheer outfit that Santana wore religiously. She had her hair tied back tightly, letting her straight, ash blonde locks fall behind her back and not a smudge of make up was out of place. The girls hazel-green eyes hover over Brittany for a moment before looking back into the room. "All of them." The girl continues. "The dwarf singing there in the middle, that's Rachel Berry. She used to send love letters to herself and read them out in class, pretending to have a boyfriend. So in middle school, I pretended to be a secret admirer and wrote a note of my own and made it a _little_ dirty, just to see what would happen. So one day in the middle of class I swapped her letter around with mine and she read it out loud... and then she fainted. Out cold. In front of everyone. She's such a nun; she makes Sister Act look like a porno." The girl explains. Brittany listens with her mouth agape but doesn't find the words to express her confusion. The blonde girl looks back at her again and Brittany suddenly recognises who she is; she was the girl who always hovered around Santana in the cheerios. "I'm Quinn, by the way. Quinn Fabray." Quinn holds her hand out to Brittany in a gesture to introduce herself but Brittany just stares without offering her own.

"Uh..." Brittany turns away from her hand, unsure on how to react. Quinn withdraws but narrows her eyes curiously.

"You must me Brittany, right?" Brittany doesn't answer, but nods. She twists her right foot on the floor and holds her hands behind her back as Quinn steps backwards, taking a better look at her. She was pretty, but had about as much confidence and personality as a stack of tumble weed. She wears pigtails with a yellow military style jacket down to her knees and the buttons fastened up to her neck. Her cream whooly hat sat lopsided on her head and her mittens where Christmas tree green. "You're Santana's friend! She's told me_ a lot_ about you; we're on the same cheer-leading squad." Quinn anounces.

"I know." Brittany throws her hands in her jacket pockets and sucks on her bottom lip whilst Rachel continues to belt out a ballad in the room behind them. Quinn rolls her tongue, trying to think of something to say but the perplexed vibe pulsing from Brittany is distracting her. She was surprised if this chick managed to make any friends at all.

"She never stops talking about you actually." Quinn continues, trying her luck. Brittany perks up a little, wanting to hear more but not before pulling out a tissue from her pocket and wiping her cold-bitten nose. Quinn watches with observing eyes yet Brittany is oblivious to it all. "Do you have a cold?" Quinn asks, sounding a little more eager than normal. Brittany nods and sniffles, taking the tissue and blowing once more.

"I...I think so." Brittany croaks quietly. She didn't know how she felt about this Quinn girl; Brittany thought she seemed a little forward but yet again, her first encounter with Santana hadn't exactly been you're normal day to day meet and greet.

"What a _coincidence!_" Quinn states more forcefully, a little too enthusiastically. Brittany backs away, feeling a little uncomfortable as her eyes flicker to the floor then from side to side. "We missed you at the party on Friday night. Santana told us that you were coming, we were looking forward to meeting you." Quinn smiles but internally can't wait to drag herself away, making that the both of them.

"I... Uh... Santana and I... w-we uhh." Brittany feels the heat around her neck as she grows more anxious, swallowing hard and curling her toes. Quinn notes every queasy flicker in Brittany's face and feeds it into her pot of suspicion. "I got to go to the bathroom!" Brittany blurts out and quickly jolts away, leaving Quinn with her brows raised that melts into a satisfied grin. She digs into the side pocket of her school bag and retrieves her phone, punching in a set of numbers for words and hits send.

**To: Noah Puckerman**

_**Dnt thnk Lopez is being str8 about new girl. Saw it in both of their faces 2day.  
><strong>_

* * *

><p>Santana lies with her back on the ground and faces the overcast sky above, breathless and soaked in sweat. Her mother requested for an intense all-day work out session with the coach and Sue could not have agreed on a better decision. Even Principle Figgin's was in on it; Santana's attitude as of late had been unsatisfactory and even though she wasn't failing any classes, she lacked motivation. For the first time in a long time, Santana would have rather attended class than perform over rehearsed dance routines with a bunch of basic bitches who claimed to have talent when it came to movement in the arts. Santana was soon realising however, that they were more appealed by the status rather than the actual sport. She had packed in two-hundred-and-thirty sit-ups in seven minutes but she was convinced that she was going to do no more.<p>

"My obese, disabled hamster can run a spinning wheel faster than you can reach five hundred!." Quinn shouts out, laughing from the bleachers.

"Fuck you." Santana replies breathlessly, too tired to waste any more energy as sweat and tears run along her face, into her hair and down her neck. _She swiftly glides her hands across the ground that she lies on and can feel the bristles from the grass tickle at her palms._ She closes her eyes, trying to find some sort of tranquil moment but fails to find that solidarity. Everything with her mother, Quinn and the coach had pulled Santana onto her last tether and she was ready to snap at any moment. She opens her eyes again and watches as the clouds roll on by as twilight soon settles in, carefully listening to the sound of her breath as it becomes deeper and deeper. "I'm done." She whispers to herself as she slowly gathers herself to her feet, stretches out and heads for the exit.

"Where're you going? It's only five-thirty!" Quinn shouts.

"I'm done!" Santana shouts in reply, repeating herself again.

"Tut-tut! What would your mother think? Probably away for a quick fix I presume!" Quinn teases; but that's all it took. In a last burst of energy, Santana twists and charges for Quinn at the bleachers, and before she can react, Quinn is tackled to the ground with Santana pinning her down. One hand grabs at Quinns shirt and the other is balled up into a fist in the air, ready to swing. "SANTANA, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" Quinn yelps, covering her face.

"I_ told_ you, NOT to fuck with me today, Quinn!" Santana grows as Quinn writhes from underneath her.

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry, please just don't hit me!" Quinn begs and Santana can only look at her with disgust.

"We're all the same, it doesn't matter. But if you _ever _get on the wrong end of me again. I won't think twice about saving your pretty little face from another nose job. You hear me?" Santana threatens but backs up almost immediately, leaving Quinn quivering on the ground in confusion. Santana looks at her with wide eyes in shock before backing away, spinning around and running off. All she could think about was that in those few moments, she had sounded just like her mother.

* * *

><p>Brittany twirls the feather between her thumb and forefinger, watching how the white, soft vain rotates like a spinning top as she sits crossed legged on her bed. She eyes her surroundings while clutching the feather and is quickly reminded of Saturday night. She wondered; would it be the same if she... Brittany rolls up her sleeve that covers her left arm and takes the feather in her right hand. She gently grazes it across her bare skin with a swift wipe but doesn't react in the same way as she did when Santana did it. It tickled, sure, but it didn't leave a trail of tingles on her arm nor did she feel much pleasure from it at all. Brittany sighs and places the feather carefully on her bedside cabinet before jumping under the duvet, fully clothed and with the light still on, despite it only being early in the evening. It's silent, but the songs that girl from the choir group had been singing earlier played softly on repeat in the back of Brittany's mind. And all the while she replayed the tender melodies over and over, she could only think about Santana. Suddenly, something pulls at Brittany's stomach that she's unable to describe but there's an uneasiness settling inside her as if she were yearning for answers; lots of them but for questions that she could not know. In that moment, her head was clear but she had never felt more confused. The door bell rings a couple of times, and Brittany can't bring herself to move. It rings a couple more before Brittany remembers that her mother was at the grocery store and she immediately scoots out of bed and runs downstairs.<p>

"I'm coming! Don't leave! I'm coming!" She shouts on her way. Without hesitating, she pulls the porch door open wide in a rush and is met with a puffy eyed, trembling girl.

"Santana?" Brittany says, surprised by her sudden appearance. Santana is a shade paler than her usual dark-olive tone, her eyes are clouded and her lip shivers as she stands in the dark.

"I was... standing there, at my door." Santana begins. Her voice is raspier than usual and her eyes and nose are pink from crying and the illness that was eating away at her. "I couldn't bring myself to turn the handle." She wipes her sleeve across her nose. "Do you ever feel _so_ tired that you think to yourself, if you fall asleep, that's it, you'll never wake up again?" She looks up at Brittany who softly shakes her head in response as she takes in Santana's broken demeanour. "I'm so tired Brittany." Santana whispers, shutting her eyes for a moment and frowning. "I'm tired of feeling angry all the time, you know? I'm so... Have you ever been so angry that it feels like your own blood begins to boil inside and nothing but fire courses through your body?" Santana asks, Brittany can only shake her head again. "It's excruciating. And I was walking home and I thought to myself, this week had been one of the best weeks of my life and I thought why? So I tried to think... I tried to think and all I can think about was this girl who I just met and she's there. She's there and she's..." Santana glances over to her house then back to Brittany, almost looking dead behind the eyes apart from the little spark that ignited every time their eyes met. "I didn't want to go home... and the next thing I know is I'm standing here on your porch. And you're here. And somehow, it doesn't hurt any more." Santana cracks a whisper. "When I'm with you, it doesn't hurt. You take my pain away, Brittany." A knot begins to form inside Brittany's stomach as another loosens in Santana's. Tears begin to stream down Santana's face and suddenly Brittany has the urge to wipe them away and knowing that she can't, the knot becomes tighter.

"You remind me so much of my father; since the the first day when you played Gypsy Girl, you took me that place where everything was okay. The way you look at me, the way you make me feel, I just..." Santana stops for a beat as she tries to find the correct words. "I just need you Brittany." She confesses, attempting to wipe away the tears but failing as more come. Brittany feels the pulling sensation within her again as Santana stands on her door step, breaking down in front her and spilling out her heart. Brittany feels her hands twitch, she feels an invisible force drawing her closer to Santana, almost like a string pulling at her like a puppet.

"Do you want a hug?" Brittany asks reluctantly but with the most sincere intention. Santana looks up at her surprised and can't help crack as small smile before nodding and pulling Brittany towards her for a tight embrace. Brittany stands still as Santana's head rests where her heart beats with her arms around her waist, pouring out as much tears as she could treasure which was years of bottled up emotions. After a while, Brittany becomes more comfortable with the proximity and sinks deeper into the intimate embrace as they stand on Brittany's porch just holding onto one another.

* * *

><p>A little further down the road, a Porsche is parked up by the side-walk as Quinn Fabray watches in the dark; two girls who claim to be strangers were after all, a lot more closer than anyone could have anticipated. A sly smirk creeps up on her mouth before she begins the accelerator, and drives off into the night.<p>

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter VII<em>

**Hmm... So Quinn's doing a little digging of herself. I wonder how that's going to pan out. **  
><strong>Next chapters wont be day by day any more. Time is going to pass quicker in each chapter just to move the story on a little. <strong>


	8. Chapter VIII

_****__**CHAPTER VIII**_

* * *

><p>The dawn awoke much later, the air turned more crisp and the birds lullaby's soon began die out. Fall was definitely passing swiftly on and even though most kids were clinging onto their bedsheets, hoping to savour the last ounce of sleep they could get, Brittany was already up, bright-eyed and raving to go as this time of year was her favourite time of year; the count down to Christmas. She stands in her pyjamas at her open window, gazing out and into Santana's room and even though she couldn't see anything past the curtain, she counted down the seconds like she did every morning for the past few weeks. <em>Five... four... three... two... one<em>. The clock strikes 7am just in time, causing Brittany to grin widely. A couple of seconds later, the light from Santana's bedroom room switches on and without hesitation, she opens her window and climbs out in nothing put a night gown and onto the near naked oak tree.

* * *

><p>"Ugh!" Santana groans, rolling around under her sheets, trying to muster the warmth. She was too damn comfortable to move but the drilling wail from her alarm had a different idea. "Okay!" She frowns with groggy sinuses and blurred eyes, feeling away at her bedside stand for her alarm with her head still half buried into her pillow. Once she successfully turns the device off, she clambers to her knees with her duvet still wrapped snugly around her, trying to calculate what day it was and lets out a petty cry when she realises it was Monday. However, the sound of a branch snapping grabs at her attention as she diverts her gaze to her window, and a smile quickly follows.<p>

"You're late." Brittany announces disappointedly, dangling from the tree branches outside of Santana's window. Santana props her elbows against the ledge and rests her head in her hands.

"I still bet you last week." Santana shakes her head and rubs her eyes, still in the process of waking up. "So are you going to help me up into that tree you've shamelessly adopted?" She asks, extending her left arm out for Brittany to reach. Brittany bounces her weight from branch to branch and eyes her hand cautiously but slowly, she reaches out her own arm and spreads out her fingers as they edge closer to Santana's. She takes in a deep breath, holding it in as her hand becomes slower and closer to the other. She stops once she's couple of inches away from Santana's skin and closes her eyes, feeling the heat in the cool air that turns into electricity, causing tingles to run through her body. Santana watches their hands then up to Brittany and hopes that she will eventually get a little closer. Brittany opens her eyes again and her brows crease with concentration as the two girls linger for a moment; reaching out for one another and both hoping that they can connect.

"I can't!" Brittany snaps her hand away shoots a scorned look down to her feet.

"You're getting there... That's all that matters." Santana tries to comfort her but Brittany just replies with a tight-lipped smile and a heavy sigh. They watch as Brittany's breath mixes in with the morning frost in the atmosphere, creating a cloud of shapes like puffs of smoke in front of them. "I gotta get a shower; Coach Sylvester's got me working my ass off here and I sweat buckets just thinking about seeing her each morning." Santana complains before retreating away back into her room. Brittany stays in the branches as she waits for Santana to leave, swinging her feet and watching as a blackbird rustles awake in it's nest, a few branches above.

* * *

><p>Brittany ties her laces and makes sure the knots are tight enough and the loops are exactly the same size, she slowly pulls her platinum bangs back with her headband as the teeth massage her scalp. She straightens out her navy jacket and fits on her green mittens before examining herself in the mirror. A small smile creeps up on her face.<p>

Brittany had only been living in Ohio for a month, but already she was feeling more at home than she ever did in Arizona. She was no longer the 'new girl' at school and people would now walked idly by her, too concerned over their own teenage issues to give Brittany a second glance. It was better this way; after all, this is what she had always wanted; not to be recognised or questioned or even acknowledged. She even found herself raising her head more often in the corridor, instead of the breathtaking view of her own two feet that she learned to admire and watch grow over the past years. She noticed how much the colour red was embedded into the school and luckily, red was Brittany's favourite colour. Red meant a lot of things: anger, blood, rage, romance but to Brittany, it meant love the most, so she must have done something right to be surrounded by it. Even ever since listening to the show choir a couple of weeks ago, Brittany found time each lunch period to stop by and listen to the kids sing. Singing had always been an important part of Brittany's life; whenever she was truly down - even after her incident - she always managed to find a quiet spot to sit alone and sing a couple of lyrics that meant a lot to her that time, over and over again. It felt good to be in that zone again, to feel like she couldn't be bothered by anyone. Even Quinn Fabray was shooting polite smiles every now and again when they passed in the corridor. However, Brittany's ultimate favourite part of the day was sharing Biology class with Santana.

"I'm good." She says with a nod. And turns away from the mirror to collect her things for school.

* * *

><p>Santana wipes the steamed-up mirror in the bathroom before looking back in her reflection. However, the first thing she notices is the key chain tied around her neck; she hadn't removed it since Brittany asked her to wear it and it always caught her attention first whenever she looked at her self now. She wondered what it could be for, but didn't spend too long speculating. She lifts up her damp hair that sticks to her neck and shoulders and tightens the towel around her body securely. She taps her nails against the bathroom sink smiles into the mirror after a deep breath.<p>

"You are one hot piece of ass, Santana Lopez, I must say." She grins and gives herself a wink before exiting the bathroom and back into her bedroom. A sudden chill attacks Santana's naked flesh, reminding her that she had left her window open to the icy morning leer it's way in. There was no way she was going to get into a similar state she and Brittany were in last month. Not even hot water bottles and hot lemon drinks could save them. For a week, both of the girls had to endure a nasty flu and endless boxes of tissues that scratched away at their noses. With a shiver from the memory combined with the chilling air, she tip-toes across her carpet to her window ledge and grasps onto the rungs ready to shut it.

'_Hey, hey good lookin', what you got cookin'? How's about cookin' somethin' up with mee-eee!_'

Santana squints under the bright but weak sun and raises a hand to shelter her eyes as she hears an all too familiar voice sing merrily in a southern accent.

'_Hey, hey, sweet baby, don't you think maybe we could find us a brand new recipe-ee!_"

A smile is cast across Santana's face when she finds Brittany sitting on her window ledge, in full winter wear as she works her mittens long the tree branch, picking off the old crusted leaves that failed to fall in the Autumn.

'_I got a Hot Rod Ford and a two-dollar bill. And I know a spot right over the hill. There's soda pop and the dancing's free. If you wanna have fun, come along with me..._' Brittany wears a frown as she juts her lips at the end of every verse, bringing more character to the song with each line. A giggle escapes Santana's mouth and Brittany twists her head around to find Santana watching from her window, wearing nothing but a towel and a bashful expression. Brittany's eyes automatically pull from Santana's face and falls on to the individual water droplets that sail down her smooth neck and down her arms and chest. Her eyes then travel up to Santana's grin and then to her deep, dark eyes that her shadowed by her eyelashes. Suddenly, Brittany is brought back to a memory of when she first spoke to Santana.

'_Do you want to see what's behind this towel, Brittany?' _Santana's voice rings in Brittany's ear.

"Oh... OH!" Brittany exclaims covering her mouth and eyes as she realised that she must have been staring far longer than she should have. Santana frowns, confused by her reaction but Brittany quickly twists away nonetheless, causing herself to lose balance on the ledge and fall back into her room with a thump.

"The fuck?" Santana raises an eyebrow but is completely divulged into a pit of humour after what she had just witnessed. "You okay Brit?" She sniggers. There's silence for a while until a head of blonde hair begins to appear from behind her window.

"I'm... I'm s-sorry... I.. Uh. I?" Brittany clambers back on the ledge, her cheeks piping red and wearing an apologetic expression. "I fell..." She clarifies.

"I see." Santana bites her lips, trying not to burst out into a fit of giggles.

"You're in a towel." Brittany announces, looking everywhere but in Santana's direction. Santana steps back a little and looks at herself and purses her lips.

"So I am." She plays along. "Are you sure you're okay?" Brittany licks her lips and re-fixes her white woolly hat back onto her head before nodding.

"It just gave me butterflies, that's all." She says honestly, crumpling a leaf in her hands. Santana's smile fades but not because she was offended; rather the contrary. Brittany's honesty always surprised Santana and not because it was brutal at times – Santana knew better – but because it made her feel things that nobody else could make her feel. In the past, Santana was teased by guys to get her attention, and the only attention they did receive was a low blow to the nuts with her knee most days. But Brittany told Santana how she felt exactly in that moment she felt it and a lot of the time Santana was left smitten to speechlessness: a moment like then.

Brittany clears a throat and disregards Santana from her thoughts.

"Aren't you going to get dressed?" Brittany asks and Santana quickly flashes a smile and nods.

"Uh... Yeah. Sorry." She states, forgetting where she was for a second. "It's cold." Santana informs randomly before tuning around and walking away again.

"See you in class." Brittany whispers as she rolls a crusty, golden leaf in her palm and takes a slow, steady breath when she begins to realise that these butterflies were not shifting any time soon.

* * *

><p>"Party at mine Saturday night! Be there or get out my face." Quinn announces to the rest of the cheerios while they stretch on the quad.<p>

"How charming." Santana grunts under breath.

"And I expect you to be there with your blonde-haired lady love." Quinn teases, stretching down to reach her toes and meeting Santana half way. Surprisingly, ever since Santana's outburst on the playing field, Quinn was reluctant to get on Santana's wrong side. In fact, she acted _too_ nice at times. The previous week, Santana was verbally destroyed to smithereens by the Cheerio's competition's head cheerleader. The teams were to star in a competitive dance off at a convention but the game got far too much for Santana.

"_Santana Lopez; what a joke! You're meant to be the head cheerleader and set an example for your squad but I hear your mom's an ex-alcoholic and your dad was so disgusted by the both of you that he had a fling with a prostitute. Or maybe two... Actually come to think of it, I'm sure he saw a better lifestyle with the hoe that he actually left the both of you for her. Am I correct?_"

For the remainder of the night, Santana stayed in bed at the hotel, not wishing to speak to anyone or do anything before the main dance off the next morning. But luckily, Quinn had slipped a laxative in the head cheerleaders morning coffee, causing them to pull out last minute and the cheerios went on to score their victory. Since then, Santana had given Quinn the benefit of the doubt and became some-what friendly again, with backhanded compliments and playful insults included, of course.

"Whatever, I'll ask her. Don't expect a yes though." Santana retorts, touching her cheek to her knee.

"So how is she?" Quinn pouts her lips, flopping to the ground and scooting up next to Santana. "You both seem... Friendly." Santana rolls her eyes and ignores her. "Listen, don't feel pressured about the whole... c_oming out_ thing." Quinn continues but Santana raises her head and glares at her combined with a look of confusion and Quinn can only giggle under her breath. "All I mean to say is, that pedestal that you've put Brittany on, it doesn't have to be built with match sticks, you know. If you feel it swaying then build it up and make it stronger. Spend more time with her and go full out until you have a nice, sturdy brick pedestal!".

"You should never try to be a philosopher, I would just stick with the amateur porno if I were you." Santana interjects.

"Classy. But seriously, you don't have to do this soon, I mean, tear Brittany down. Do it in your own time, when you're ready." Quinn winks before hopping to her feet again. Santana sits on the grass emotionless but inside, another dilemma begins to stir and it's beginning to become a regular occurrence.

* * *

><p>Brittany sits at her desk at the back of the biology classroom patiently, twirling her thumbs around and staring nonchalantly outside the window as she watches a robin dance across the concrete, showing off his bright red breast proudly.<p>

"Ahem!" the biology teacher, Mr Brown clears his throat. Brittany turns to face him with wide expecting eyes. "You know, the heating _is_ on. Sometimes it's even like a damn oven in here so you don't have to wear all of that nonsense in here." he flicks his hand dismissively.

"Eww..." Santana grimaces as she walks into the classroom in her red cheer-leading outfit, this time complete with a matching 'WMHS' jacket to shelter Santana from the cold weather. She meets a gleaming Brittany who waves from the back and Santana returns the smile just s wide, skipping to the desk to take a seat next to her. Brittany's eyes switch from the school walls, to the robin, then to Santana's outfit and appreciates being immersed around her favourite colour for a moment.

"Santana." Mr brown announces. Santana sighs and looks up to the front. "Good to see you again." He gives a quick nod. Santana just snorts and shakes her head.

"Wish I could say the same thing to you." She whispers under her breath as she gathers her books out her bag. Brittany watches Santana slowly slide her jacket off, revealing her bare, toned, dark-honey arms before a tingle starts to arouse in Brittany stomach again. "So Brit Brit... Let's start where we left off, where were we?" Santana says merrily, flicking through the pages of the textbook.

"Sex." Brittany states bluntly, staring in front of her to the board. Santana lifts her gaze to Brittany's face but her expression is unreadable. Just then, the class begins to fill in with the rest of the students.

"Great, I'm glad to say we're nearly finished reproduction," Mr Brown begins. "but unfortunately, at this stage of the game this part _does_ tie in with the health studies aspect that we all must endure. Might as well get it over and done with now before you all end up pregnant and riddled with STD's." He painfully jokes.

"_Jesus._" A girl from near the front scoffs, but the rest of the class agree.

"Maybe my intense work session with the Sylvester, wasn't as bad as I thought." Santana whispers sarcastically, trying to humour Brittany but Brittany's eyes still remain peeled to the front of the class.

"Brittany?" Santana clicks her fingers in front of her and Brittany jolts back and shakes her head quickly. Santana breaths out a laugh and kicks her chair closer. "What's on your mind?" Santana asks. Brittany bites her lips before turning to face Santana. Their heads are only inches apart from a whispering proximity and Brittany's crystal gaze studies each of Santana's eyes, back and forth, then to her lips.

"Sex!" Mr Brown shouts out. Santana raises an eye brow when Brittany doesn't look away. Instead, her eyes slowly travel down Santana's body and back up again as if she were marking ever detail of fabric on her body. Santana's palms begin to itch with every inch that Brittany studies of her, before they begin to sweat.

"You're cheer-shirt is inside out." Brittany clicks her tongue and returns her attention to the front of the class. Santana lingers with her mouth slightly open, maybe she thought to soon about Brittany's honesty flattering her before it even registered with her that she had been walking around school all morning with her cheerios shirt inside out.

"Now, when a man and woman love each other... And they're married and at least thirty. They might sometimes want to consummate their relationship. This is called sexual relations and or making love." Mr Brown gets off to a nervous start, followed by giggles and groans from within the classroom.

"Sir?" Brittany calls out and raises her hand abruptly, causing the rest of the class to turn around and look at her. Brittany feels each pairs of eyes watching and studying her and internally, she tries to come to some sort of rational reason why she did what she had just done.

"Yes, Brittany?" Mr Brown edges her to continue. Brittany takes a quick peek around the room, some faces are confused, other are surprised and the rest are intrigued.

"Uh..." She breathes out shakily. "What... what about sexual relationship's between two m-men or two women? Is that not making love?" She asks, genuinely curious. The class turn their heads round in-synch to wait for Mr. Browns reply and watch as has he taps his fingers across his wooden desk and ruffles his curly hair.

"W-well..." He laughs out nervously. "Let's not go there, I'm teaching health class not human rights class." He announces. The rest of the class slouch down again, underwhelmed by his answer as he continues. "So, you need to take a lot of precautions when it comes to these things-"

"So you're saying that only people who have relations with the opposite sex can get a STD?" Brittany butts in again. Santana switches her direction back and forth from Brittany to the teacher like a table tennis match, as does the rest of the class.

"No Brittany, I am not stating that at all. I'm just using an example of a normal sexual relationship."

"Normal?" Brittany responds, not breaking her gaze from the teacher while ignoring all sets of eyes on her. "I don't agree that you should think a couple that is the opposite sex is normal. Nothing is normal in this world. If it were, then we would all look like one other, attraction wouldn't exist and we'd be miserable. Every tree would be the same age and when they all died out then so would we. Planets wouldn't exist, science wouldn't exist and humanity wouldn't exist if everything was just _normal_." Mr Brown takes a quick breath and loosens his collar as the class begin to whisper to each other. Santana just stares in awe next to her and can do nothing else.

"I agree with Brittany." A boy from the table in front admits, he turns his head to smile at Brittany and she notices it's the boy from the choir room, the one who was well groomed with an up tight posture and wore expensive clothing. Brittany ducks her head to look at her knees and notices them shaking with adrenaline.

"You would agree, faggot." Another boy, sitting at the opposite end of the room spits, throwing a scrunched up paper ball across the room and hitting the choir boy on the head. Choir boy slouches further into his seat as Santana and Brittany watch from behind with glaring looks.

"Now I wont have name calling in my class!" Mr Brown announces. "Or throwing things at other people for that matter. Karofsky, step outside please." he orders, and the offending boy kicks his way out of his chair. He's tall, probably around 6'3'' and is widely built, a football player and he marches his way out of the class, making sure to slam the door behind him.

"That was pretty bad ass of you." Santana whispers, pleasantly surprised.

"Just being honest." Brittany whispers back. Santana proudly grins towards Brittany, _'of course',_ and she gently rubs Brittany's back, letting her know that she did good.

* * *

><p>"You know, Briony." Coach Sylvester meets Brittany in the corridor like she had done so many times before but Brittany expected it every other day now, despite the coach's painful aura.<p>

"It's Brittany." She corrects her and begins to walwayk a. Sue walks beside her, taking quick strides to keep up. "I've come to learn about your condition, and I appreciate it. That's why I think dance is a good-"

"No." Brittany finishes before marching outside to the school grounds. Santana usually had cheer practice after school so they didn't get to see each other until later at night when they would just talk from their bedrooms until they grew tired. Sometime's it was short night, other lasted for hours.

Brittany searches for her bus beyond the sea of students hanging around the entrance and before she knows it, she's knocking heads with another.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" A familiar boy apologises, it was the boy from the choir and who stuck up for Brittany in biology. "Oh wow, it's Brittany! Right?" He muses. Brittany fixes her hat and nods a yes shyly. "Thank god! It would have been so embarrassing if that wasn't your name." He laughs gleefully. "I'm Kurt by the way!" He flashes a wide grin and holds out his hand and Brittany looks at it like so many other times before him but returns a friendly smile instead. "I'm glad you called out Mr Brown, you said exactly what everyone else was thinking, well... almost everyone. It was very brave of you, being the new girl and all." Brittany just nods and shrugs.

"You're in that choir?" She asks, quietly as if she were afraid of other people hearing her speak.

"Oh, the Glee club? You've heard of us?" He shimmies a little, flattered by the recognition.

"I listen to you almost every day at lunch, I like hearing you all sing." She confesses as her cheeks grow a pale shade of pink. Kurt touches his chest and sighs.

"Well thank-you! You should totally come in one lunch-time, see what's it's all about." Brittany nods and purses her lips.

"Maybe..." She redirects her gaze onto the road. "I gotta go get my bus. Bye Kurt." She says politely and even manages to break a smile before leaving.

"Ciao!" Kurt shouts, waving goodbye.

* * *

><p>Santana quietly turns the key in her front door before letting it squeak open. Luckily the house was lifeless and identical to the way it was left in the morning. Since her incident with the marijuana, Santana tried her best to keep out of her mothers way. It wasn't like she had to anyway, Anita wouldn't even look at her nor speak to her and being a workaholic, she was always out of the house. Santana flings her bags onto the floor and plants herself firmly onto the couch in the lounge, exhausted from another hard days work. Nationals was drawing nearer and even though the intense work-outs had finished, each day was a constant struggle among with other things, one of them being feelings. Santana stares at the ceiling and it isn't long before her eyes grow tired and strained, an early night was definitely in order. She scrambles to her feet and picks up her bags where she left them in the hall and shifts her feet lazily up the stairs and into her room.<p>

* * *

><p>Brittany takes another glance at her bedside clock that reads 7pm, it's already dark out and Brittany can feel the tiredness seeping into her body as her muscles relax. Today had been a good day, she knew it would be from the moment she woke up, but with good came exhausting. She lays her clothes out ready to be worn next morning before fitting into her night dress, despite the cold weather, she had been feeling a little <em>flushed<em> recently. A tap against her window stops Brittany from folding her clothes, drawing her attention outside. There's another tap and Brittany shift closer to the ledge to find out the source from such noise. As if it could be anyone else, she finds Santana flicking twigs from her window, missing most of the time due to her lousy aim – She was never good at any sports where she had to aim. Once she was practising archery at junior summer camp and managed to completely miss the target and instead, she shot the blunt arrow square into the camp leaders forehead, knocking her out cold. It wasn't as if anyone liked her, she was actually dubbed the 'old bigoted camp troll of the North' and even the horror stories were based off her. Some said Santana meant to aim for her, but she always denied it.

Brittany laughs at Santana's lame attempt and forces the window hatch up.

"You took your time." Santana rolls her eyes playfully. Brittany just shrugs and pulls her tongue out. "There's something I wanted to ask you..." Santana begins, a little hesitant. Brittany waits patiently as she gets comfortable on her ledge. "Now you don't have to go, it's totally fine if you don't want to. I don't actually mind but Quinn asked me if you would like to come to her party on Saturday? I mean, you don't really know her and I know I told you that she was a incestuous hill-billy from the stone-age, who attended rituals worshipping Satan the but that was just a little exaggeration on my part. The main thing is, she'd like you to show up... but you don't have to." Santana finishes, wrapping her throw tightly over her. Brittany hovers in mid though for moment...

"Okay, I'll go." Brittany accepts and Santana's eyes widen in shock.

"Y-you'll go?" Santana asks in disbelief. "Are you sure?" Brittany nods and shrugs.

"She's been polite before. I can't get any better if I don't try, right?"

"I guess so." Santana agrees. "I'll be there by your side if you need me." She says.

"I know." Brittany smiles from across the yard and even in the darkness her face lightens up Santana's mood.

"You know, I'd usually say that I wished there was more people in the world like you." Santana begins to gush. "But I don't. You're unique and everything you do is all you and nobody else and that's what I love about you." And as quickly Santana's smile first appeared, it disappears a lot quicker. She doesn't know what happened, but her heart begins to race dangerously fast as she realises what words had just escaped her lips. As if every feeling she had felt in the last month suddenly sprung up on her, Santana feels dizzy with nausea. '_shit, shit, shit, SHIT!'_ she thinks in response. Unable to look at Brittany or even wonder about her reaction, Santana turns around so her back is facing Brittany.

"Santana..." Brittany whispers but Santana didn't want to hear it.

"I uh, I forgot to... forgot to turn the um... the tap off. I forgot to turn the tap off." Santana stutters, searching for the nearest exit and leaves for her bedroom door, leaving Brittany lingering by the window ledge for the third time that day but not returning again that night.

* * *

><p>For the rest of the school week, Santana chose to ignore what she told Brittany that night and thankfully, Brittany didn't mention it either. Their routines were the same: they greeted one other each morning with Brittany waiting for Santana in the tree. Every day, Brittany grew closer to touching Santana, and every day the heat between their hands became more intense; now they were only an inch apart and the more closer they got, the more <em>closer<em> they got. Brittany thought it was best _not _to sing at her window while Santana showered and Santana thought it was best not to think of Brittany each night, but it was impossible. When Friday approached, both girls had completely buried their encounter from Monday night and they were back to their normal selves, they even spent hours on Friday night just talking to each other from across the short yard.

"I have a confession." Brittany informs Santana. Santana pulls out a fizzy lace from her candy packet and sucks on it before biting it in half.

"Oh no!" She cries sarcastically, dramatically covering her ears.

"I think I want to join the Glee club." Brittany admits, diving her hand into her packet full of dots.

"Yep! Definitely didn't want to hear that!" Santana grimaces, burying her head into her candy.

"Why? They sound really good and they all seem friendly? I've watched them plenty of times." Brittany defends her decision.

"Honey, joining the Glee club is like having a pog collection at the age of thirty while you spend you're whole life wondering why you chose to go as the healer in World of Warcraft. I mean, why would you want to be screamed at online in all capitals by strangers from all across the world - who, by the way, have faces strangely similar to the pizza I had for dinner yesterday - because you ran out of mana in battle? It's not cool... I should know." Santana straightens up and flicks her hair to the side, glad to get her point across.

"Would you hold it against me if I did?" is Brittany's only reply but she says it so sweetly, innocently and Santana can't object.

"Do whatever makes you happy." Santana sighs, giving up all hope of humanity.

"I wish..." Brittany whispers and Santana catches on but pretends not to hear. She didn't know about Brittany, but ever since her slip up, she took everything that Brittany said and made it ambiguous and always ended each scenario with '_what if?'. _

"Big night tomorrow..." Santana declares and Brittany nods. "Are you excited?"

"Nervous, but I want to go." Brittany replies, popping another dot into her mouth. "How about you, are you excited?"

"Nervous." Santana replies honestly. Silence lingers between the girls now as they contemplate what may happen the next night. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

* * *

><p>First you're alone, existence is no where in sight and you can hear the steady beat of your heart slowly increase as reality pulls you in. Your temples begin to pulsate and you breaths become shorter and more sharp. You see objects now but nothing more than array of blurred colours swimming in front of you. A deep droning sound vibrates from your feet, up your legs and through your body as the bass becomes more prominent. You twitch, you itch and you tremble. Anxiety begins to haunt you. But when she grabs your hand, you're back down to earth with your feet on the ground, standing outside Quinn Fabray's house were the party kicked off quite a while ago.<p>

Brittany looks at her hand, covered by the familiar green fabric that latches onto her skin and in that hand lies Santana's.

"Are you ready?" Santana asks cautiously, giving Brittany's hand a reassuring squeeze. Brittany takes a deep breath and closes her eyes before nodding.

"I'm ready."

Santana enters the house first and immediately she is welcomed by half-drunk jocks, floating around the doorway, congratulating her for appearing.

"Okay, okay! Get out of my way afores I step on your tiny little head, buddy." Santana yells up at the 6'5'' footballer. The team of merry ball players shift away with a sing-song and Santana turns around to watch Brittany stand at the entrance, eyeing her surroundings. The main lights are dimmed apart from the sensitive disco beams that spurt out multicolour rays across the room. The place is crowded with drunks swaying like toddlers to the beat that consists of contemporary house music. The stoner's chortle away at watching something like paint dry and the popular kids stare each other down as if they're ready to pounce at any moment. A couple of them notice Brittany standing in the door way and narrow their eyes quizzically.

"JEWFRO! What the hell are you doing here!" Quinn shrieks from the back room. Another shriek follows after, a males voice but partially higher than Quinn's. "Get OUT!" Suddenly, a boy with extremely curly hair and Harry Potter glasses runs into the front room clutching at a video camera.

"It was for the video yearbook, I swear! I wasn't filming two girls making out! Ooh..." His eyes resemble that of a mouse caught between a family of cats. "Leaving!" He announces and dashes for the door, pushing Brittany out the way causing her to stumble inside.

"Watch it, idiot!" Santana shouts at him but he is already gone into the abyss. "Are you okay?" Brittany nods and dusts herself off.

"Thank GOD you are here! I was starting to think you were going to be a no-show again." Quinn sighs in relief as she greets the duo at the door. "Hey Brittany." Quinn smiles politely but can't help but eye her outfit once again. Mittens: check. Woolly hat: check. Long thick jacket: double check and of course, a scarf. "You look hot." She flashes a wink at her.

"That's because I am..." Brittany answers back, feeling the heat raise underneath her skin. Quinn squints for a moment as an awkward silence fallows while Santana tries to stifle a giggle.

"Okaa-yy, kitchen? Drinks? Let's go!" Quinn breaks the silence and leads them away from the main party.

* * *

><p>"And do you know what I said to the coach.. I saa-aiid... I said." Quinn slurs, it's a couple of hours later and she sways around, aimlessly. "I said... You can suck my <em>dick!<em>" She snorts covering her mouth childishly. Brittany and Santana watch with little attention, but listen merrily anyhow.

"I have... no idea what the hell you're talking about." Santana replies, leaning against the kitchen counter.

Brittany holds onto Santana's shoulder to keep herself steady as she downs the rest of her cup containing only God knows what.

"I think... I think I need some fresh air." Brittany announces. "Do you mind if I go to the bathroom first? I really, _really_ need!" She stretches her hands in front of her and twiddles her fingers under her gloves. Santana downs the rest of her own cup before slamming it on the oak counter top.

"LET'S DO THIS!" Santana shouts, before taking Brittany's hand and guiding her to the rest room with Quinn staggering behind.

* * *

><p>"Britt! You okay in there?" Santana knocks on the door as Quinn sways to the side of her.<p>

"Mmm'okay! Just... Falling asleep, as you do, on the toilet. Brum-brum-brum tummy, rum, gum, some, drum..." Brittany trails off quietly.

"She's singing and rhyming..." Santana nods to herself. Quinn takes this as an opportunity to get Santana alone and doesn't hesitate to drag her away.

"Quinn, what are you doing?" Santana grunts but follows her anyway, she didn't have much a choice given the grip that Quinn had on Santana's arm.

"I've got a great idea for the big plan, but remember, shh. Brittany can't know or else it will ruin the whole surprise." Quinn giggles, pressing her index finger against Santana's lips. When Santana is reminded of what plan that is, it's like her whole night becomes a lot worse.

* * *

><p>Brittany stumbles out of the bathroom but Santana and Quinn are nowhere in sight, she squints under the bright lights and shields her eyes with her hand but everything becomes doubled when she tries to focus.<p>

"Santanaa-aa?" She groans, spinning in every direction, looking for someone to recognise. Her back hits the wall but shortly after, she can hear someone calling her name. '_Brittany? Brittany!" _She twists her head right to find one of the Jocks, the guy with the Mohawk towering over her.

"Do you know where Santana is?" She asks desperately. The boy shakes his head but budges her towards the exit into the yard.

"No, but she's probably outside, it's kinda hot in here..." He answers, directing her onto the grass outside.

* * *

><p>"Quinn, what If I told you that I don't want to do this bet any more? Could we choose someone else?" Santana begins to negotiate. Quinn takes a step back in surprise, she was expecting Santana to crumble but not so soon.<p>

"Of course you can... Nobody's forcing you to do this!" Quinn advises her, offering a sweet smile.

* * *

><p>"Do you know where Santana is?" Brittany asks again, walking deeper into the back of the yard with the boy.<p>

"I told you already, no." The boy stops and turns to face Brittany who has her eyes glued to the stars."

"Aren't the stars so pretty..." She muses with a smile. The boy gazes down at Brittany with a gentle smile of his own.

"I think you're pretty." He whispers.

* * *

><p>"So I don't have to do this any more? I can call it quits on the whole thing?" Santana asks. Quinn inches closer to make sure that she's heard over the music.<p>

"Sure, all you have to do is tell Brittany you don't want to see her any more and go on pretending like the both of you never met." Quinn smiles and Santana recognises the same old conniving face with smugness dripping from her everywhere.

* * *

><p>Brittany shifts under the boys watch but sits down on the grass to let the air cool her down. Her mittens trace the cold blades of grass before she begins to pick it out.<p>

"Do you want to watch the stars with me?" She asks the boy.

"I'd love to." He replies softly and joins her on the grass.

* * *

><p>"And what if I don't stop seeing her?" Santana challenges. Quinn licks her lips and shrugs.<p>

"Well everybody heard about that human rights for homos stint that Brittany pulled in Biology. There's no way you can come out of this and still be friends with her without everybody speculating that you two are some sort of an item." Quinn concludes. Santana backs up a little, shocked from what Quinn was implying.

"But we're not..." Santana laughs, this was ridiculous.

* * *

><p>"My first week here... Santana took me to the edge of the earth." Brittany reminisces giddily, with smiles and heavy eyelids as she admires the view above. The boy rolls over to face Brittany again with one elbow propped up against the ground.<p>

"You seem very fond of Santana?" He asks.

* * *

><p>"You can't deny there's something there... I've seen the way you look at her, you stick out like a sore thumb."<p>

"No! I'm just a little protective over her." Santana retorts, becoming impatient. "Where is she anyway?"

* * *

><p>"Santana is wonderful. She's... she's... Beautiful." Brittany sighs. The boy laughs out and shakes his head.<p>

"But not as beautiful as you." He replies. Brittany's eyes fall from the stars and onto the boy and tries to read his expression but the darkness and alcohol makes everything a little distorted for her.

* * *

><p>"I mean, imagine your mother finding out a rumour about the two of you, especially when she's so conservative... Especially when she's running for Mayor in this town. That would be even worse than the drugs spectacle!"<p>

* * *

><p>Brittany expression changes when the boys face grows darker, the mood changes when his eyes roam across her figure.<p>

* * *

><p>"She's not in the bathroom, Quinn. Where <em>is <em>she?" Santana growls, ignoring any malicious threats that were coming her way. She breaks her arms from Quinn's grip and runs through the house, inspecting every door.

* * *

><p>The boy is seduced by every single curve, the way her eyes sparkle under the starlight and before Brittany can even register what's happening, he leans down and presses his lips against hers.<p>

* * *

><p>A blood-curling scream from the yard brings the party to a halt. Santana freezes in one of the upstairs bedrooms and her skin turns ice cold. Another chilling cry confirms it is from Brittany and Santana is gone.<p>

"No, no, no!" Santana yells, pushing Quinn out if the way from the bottom landing and sprints out into the front lawn as fire now courses through her body. "Brittany!" Santana screams back, tears stinging at her eyes. Brittany's screams never waver while Santana spots a crowd gathering down at the end of the yard. She charges straight through, pushing past anyone and everyone until she finds her. And when she does, her heart sinks.

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter VIII<em>

**I had so much fun writing this chapter, hope you enjoyed it.**  
><strong>Things are going to get a<em> lot<em> more heated from now on.**


	9. Chapter IX

_[AN] Just wanted to say thank you for all of your reviews. It really is a delight to read them and I hope that you continue to enjoy the story! :)_

_**CHAPTER IX**_

* * *

><p>She drunkly gazed up at the stars, admiring how unique and solitary they were but appreciated that they were all out for her tonight. Some burned brighter and others sparkled in reds and blues. Each star had important significance to her. Each star represented a part of something she longed to have. For years she studied the sky yet every time she couldn't feel any less hypnotised by the powerful orbs. Sometimes she felt hope, that maybe one day she could shine as bright as they did. Other days, when she felt her darkest, she would gaze up at the stars and find comfort within them. Even if they were billions of light years away from each other, she couldn't dispute that every night they gathered in the same spot to fill the sky and shine together. They reminded her that she wasn't the only person in the world who felt alone and a lot of the time there were people before her who had it much more worse. Tonight however, she felt something new, something raw. Her eyes grazed over Orion's constellation and she immediately felt a fire spark inside her that warmed her heart and all she could think about was Santana. Santana Lopez was one person out of seven billion in the world and she could have searched beyond the galaxy to find someone like her but she didn't have to, she was right at home. Santana was her star and even though she couldn't explain such a feral emotion that began to rise in the pit of her stomach, she could feel it grow rapidly. Brittany was falling for her and she didn't even realise it.<p>

"Santana is wonderful. She's... she's... Beautiful." Was all that Brittany could say as she watched the stars collide and mesh as the alcohol she had consumed earlier started to put her in a euphoric state. The boy with the Mohawk had whispered something in reply, but her attention had drifted off with the milky way. That was until her view was blocked by his silhouette that slowly inched nearer to her. It was slow, her mind was frozen and all she could see was the darkness beginning to consume her vision and before she could even gather what was happening, she felt his warm lips press against hers.

It took a couple of seconds to react due to the alcohol, but when she did, her focus jilted straight out of the clouds and back on to earth yet by that time, the boy had already tried to deepen the kiss. Even though the panic sent an arrow piercing straight through her lungs, causing her to catch her breath in her throat, her body worked against her brain and went frigid, each muscle locked and cramped up and the only sign of conflict was the salty tears that formed in her eyes as the boy kissed past her jaw and down her neck. His hands travelled to her waist to form a tighter grip and where his thumb brushed a patch of bare skin from underneath her jacket, it sent her body into a flaming rage.

Her fists tightened until the whites of her bones were transparent at the knuckles, her body jerked violently against him before a strangled cry for help escaped her lips. She shut her eyes tightly, trying to shut out what was happening as well as shutting out the rest of the world. Only her scream for help kept pulling her back into reality. She didn't want to be there. She didn't want to be anywhere. She flipped until her face dug into the grass while her body shook at the response of the boys touch, her throat ached as if she had swallowed a thousand needles and her veins burned with poison from his kiss. A crowd began to gather around the girl who cried for help and shortly after, another girl pushed past in a panic to witness what she had feared the most.

Santana finds Brittany writhing in a foetus position with her face in the dirt before her eyes settle on Puck, hovering over her, face white and brain dead.

"What the _fuck_ did you do to her!" Santana screeched, marching out of the crowd and into the middle of the scene. Puck raises his hands to his side in defence and backs away from menacing look that fills in Santana's face.

"I... I didn't do anything... She. She just went crazy man!" Puck stutters, trying to recollect what had just happened. Santana however wasn't hearing any of it, her face hardened further and her teeth pierced into her tongue, causing nothing but the taste of venom to pour in her mouth. She saw red, the most sinister and corrupt shade of red that she could ever encounter. She strikes puck sharply around his cheek with her palm and pushes him out of reach from Brittany, who continued to blubber on the ground.

"YOU STAY AWAY FROM HER!" She spits out fire, pushing him again and causing him to trip on his feet and fall to the ground. "You dick!" She cries out as the crowd watches on. It doesn't take too long before the audience begin to whisper between themselves. Had Puck done something that went too far? Did he try and take advantage? Did he hit her?"

"I promise I did nothing wrong! I kissed her and she went all schizo on me!" He blurts out, causing Santana to feel another wave of rage. Once more, she advances to him and strikes him again, only this time it was with her foot against his groin, causing the crowd as well as Puck to squirm.

"You're a piece of shit. You always have been and you always will be." Santana growls and looks at him like he was nothing more than a greasy rodent, scrambling through garbage for scraps. She turns to Brittany who is now silently shaking. Santana clenches her teeth and looks up to the crowd with a blurred vision behind her tears.

"Don't you all have a party to enjoy? There's nothing to see here..." Santana croaks, wiping her hand across her nose. The crowd mumble amongst themselves but slowly begin to disband. Occasionally they look back to watch if there was any more drama but were sorely disappointed. Quinn on the other hand doesn't move and ends up standing at the end of the yard alone with the other three. She looks at Brittany as she sniffles into the dirt then to Puck as he groans in pain and finally to Santana who staggers around, spent from the anger that had riled up inside her. Her cheeks were black with mascara and her eyes damp and pink with tears.

"Santana... I" She begins.

"No, Quinn." Santana whispers. "I'm done. I'm finished." She murmurs, lips trembling. "Congratulations, you've been promoted to head cheerleader, just like you always wanted." She winces, dropping her head down to her knees as she takes a seat next to Brittany. Quinn takes a deep breath and tilts her head up to regain composure.

"Santana?" She tries again.

"Just leave me alone, Quinn" Santana chokes. "Leave us both alone." Quinn swallows slowly and shifts toward Puck who was still complaining.

"Get up." Quinn tells him coldly, grabbing his shirt and pulling him to his feet. Santana listens to their footsteps as they fade into silence and soon it's just Brittany and Santana again, only this time, each others heartache is so profound that everything becomes numb. Santana lies down next to Brittany who still hasn't shifted, her breaths are so quiet that she looks lifeless and the two just lay there for what feels like an eternity.

"I'm so, so sorry Brittany..." Santana finally whispers. "This is all my fault." She quivers, facing Brittany, hoping that she could find some sort of reaction, but fails and wonders if Brittany had fallen asleep. She sighs and decided to wait as long as it took until Brittany finally came around. As soon as Santana started to feel drowsy with sleepiness, Brittany begins to twist her head from the mud. It felt like hours since the incident and likelihood was that it probably had been; the party had died down immensely after what happened and people started to say their goodbyes shortly after. Santana watches as Brittany slowly opens her eyes, and the first things she sees is Santana looking back. Brittany's eyes are glassy and lifeless as if all the blue had been washed away by grief.

"I want to go home." Brittany whispers but it's nothing more than a gasp as she struggles to find her voice. Santana gently nods understandingly and sits up. The frost had began to collect on tops of the grass that caused a sheen of white diamonds to surround the pair as they lay on the lawn. It was beautiful but it was also too cold and the night was long over, there was nothing to celebrate here.

* * *

><p>The walk home was similar to that night when they first really got to know each other. The night where they walked to the ends of the earth, where dreams came true and where anything and everything was possible. <em>That<em> night was filled with hope. There were little to no words exchanged, not even a glance and this time it wasn't out of modestly. Santana had just given up her life's ambition to protect a girl who was at this point unfixable. Brittany had been careless and agreed to something just to prove to herself that she could do it on her own, without the help of a doctor or a shrink and it had repelled against her; she was again back to square one.

Like before, the pair reach the street-lamp that marks the entrance to their neighbourhood and an orange flicker casts shadows on the ground. They walk up silently to the side-walk where their homes meet half way and stop briefly. Santana can't finish the night like this, there was so much to say and she couldn't leave knowing that Brittany's last memory of the night would always be embedded in her head as something deceitful. Yet before she can get a breath out, Brittany walks away and whispers a '_goodnight'_ with her hands dug deeply into her pockets and her head hung low. Santana watches with a heavy heart as Brittany walks further. Yes, there was something strangely similar from tonight compared to the first time they said their goodbye's a couple of months ago.

* * *

><p><em>"Brittany!" She shouts after her. Brittany stops just as she is about to set foot on her lawn and swiftly turns her head around.<em>

_"Yes?" She asks. Santana lingers for a moment, unsure as to what to actually say or why she even called Brittany's name in the first place._

* * *

><p>Santana swallows hard and takes a few steps closer to the girl walking away.<p>

"Brittany!" She shouts after her. Brittany slows down before stopping. She hesitates whether she should keep walking or not, but instead she just waits for Santana to continue.

* * *

><p><em>"Santana?" Brittany asks one more time. Santana swallows firmly but then nods to herself.<em>

_"Goodnight." She says in a friendly manner and offers a quick smile before turning abruptly to the comfort of her home._

* * *

><p>Santana now looks at the back of Brittany as she stands in her front lawn. There was a point in life when you're stuck at two roads, and Santana was finally able to accept her fate. She hesitantly walks closer to Brittany and Brittany can feel her eyes soar into the back her. Brittany takes a deep breath before slowly turning around to find Santana standing a couple of feet away on her side of the yard.<p>

"Yes, Santana?" Brittany whispers shakily. She lifts her eyes from the concrete to the girl opposite her. Santana looks petrified, but at the same time she looks at peace. When their eyes meet, it's like it's just the two of them again, both in darkness unaltered in a place where alteration found them. Where they found each other.

"I love you." Santana confesses, her voice trembles and her eyes begin to water again. Those three words had a lifetime behind them. The last time she said it to someone and meant it was the last time she ever saw her father. Ever since, she had never spoken or thought about such words. Her mother brought her up to believe that love was false and that the feeling was nothing but heightened emotions that would soon fade and disappear, leaving just emptiness and bitterness. Love was a trap and every time Santana got close to feeling something familiar, be it from a song or a place, it had always been shaded by her mothers words and she soon learned to run away from it. That was until Brittany came into her life and rekindled the emotion that she had buried deep inside of her heart, ever since she sang Gypsy Girl that first night in her bedroom.

"I love you." Santana tearfully whispers again, taking a few steps closer to Brittany. Brittany doesn't move, not even a nerve shifts in her body as she listens, yet her grey eyes begin to glimmer back to life as the words sink in. "I love you, Brittany. I have always loved you, since the day we first met." Santana sniffles and takes a deep breath. "I love the way you look at me with such grace and I love the way you make me feel like I'm actually important to someone else. You've touched me, Brittany. You touched me in a way I thought was impossible but you did, despite all the doubts and all the struggles and shit I've went through in life. I love you so much that it hurts every time knowing that I can't take your own pain away." Santana's hands shake but her voice remains strong and sincere as they tears cascade down her cheeks. "I want to give it all back; everything. I want to give you my everything and all of it. I want to give you the world. I want to give you the stars but most of all, I want to give you me, more than entire universe." Santana inches closer to Brittany again with dark eyes that prey for some sort of returned feelings. "You have me. I'm yours. Always." Santana whispers, her eyes true, unwavering but undoubtedly desperate.

In all the time that Santana was talking, Brittany could slowly feel the numb agony slowly disintegrate beneath her skin. At first it was replaced by tingling pins and needles that jabbed away at every cell but as they faded, she was overcome with a sheet of bliss that started off as a little kindling in the knots of her stomach that grew and grew while Santana's honest words continued to melt past her walls.

"You're my home." Santana softly, holding on to dear life that Brittany wouldn't reject her. So she's delighted to find a small smile creep up on Brittany's face who's eyes finally turn deep sapphire like the ocean with life once again.

"I can keep you?" Brittany responds that transcends innocently but in a way that shows she has anticipated this moment for quite a while. Santana breaths out a laugh and nods her head.

"Until every star in the night sky dies out." Santana promises. Brittany's next reaction was one that Santana hadn't yet come across. She smiles, which wasn't new but her eyes laughed and cried and cried at the same time. The eyes that told a million stories were now filled with love that Santana was certain she could make out the heart shapes of her iris's. Brittany was glowing, despite everything that had happened earlier. This was the happiest Santana had ever seen Brittany, and it filled her with so much ecstasy. Brittany takes in Santana's figure and studies her carefully. She wanted to remember this moment and mark it down so when she was old, she'd remember the first time she actually felt free and remember the girl who made that happen. She was the only star; the only one out of seven billion in this world and she finally had her. Brittany slowly closes the gap between the two and pulls Santana in for an embrace like they had done so many times before.

"I love you too, Santana." Brittany whispers and she can feel Santana melt further into her body. She knew that her own feelings were alien, but saying such words just felt right. Both of them hold each other until the morning freezes over and their noses are red raw before they say goodnight to each other. the girls didn't want to part and could only yearn for the next time they saw each other. If the girls had just one thing to look forward to from then on, at least it was each other.

* * *

><p>Santana stands in front of her wall sized mirror in her bedroom and can't help but feel unrecognisable. The cheer uniform was nowhere to be seen on her body with the given fact that it was stuffed in her school bag, ready to be handed back in to Coach Sylvester. She eyes the street wear that hugs her body. She's dresses appropriately for the weather, winter was fast approaching but little did she know that it would be snowing late November. It was light nevertheless, but the bitterness nibbled away easily at her skin if it was left bare for too long so today she decided to go full out in wearing leg warmers, black tights, a faux-fur jacket, a woolly hat and her own pair of mittens. She decided to wear her hair down for the first time since she started the Cheerios and she never noticed how much softer she looked in casual wear. She was good, she was smiling... She had never felt more nervous about going to school in her entire life and she was petrified.<p>

"Santana! What have I told you about leaving your make-up in the bathroom!" Her mother calls from the landing before charging into her bedroom. Santana freezes as does Anita when she finds what her daughter is wearing. "What's that you've got on? Where's your cheer-leading uniform?" She asks, confused. Santana hesitates for a moment before shrugging.

"It's winter, mother, I'm not prancing around all day in a skimpy cheer-leading outfit. I'll just get changed at school." She lies, staring back at her mother through the mirror. Anita folds her arms together in her prim pencil skirt-suit and purses her lips. Anita had finally come round to talking to her daughter again but it wasn't without given shade. It wasn't like Santana was unhappy to feel obliged to reply with as much insincerity.

"Where's Quinn? She's usually here by now." Anita asks. Santana just shrugs again and swipes her lips with a final coat of nude lip-gloss.

"I'm walking. The more the fit the better, right?" Santana smacks her lips together before spinning around and picking her up her back. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a long day ahead of me." Santana announces and walks by her mother who stands in the door way, tight lipped and brows furrowed.

* * *

><p>"Are you sure you want to go to school? You're looking awfully pale, honey." Grace asks, clearly concerned over the way Brittany sits at the table, staring intently at the clock with lips the same colour has her complexion. Brittany shrugs nonchalantly and continues to stare. "Has something happened at school?" Her mother ponders. Brittany shakes her head, her right hand holding the spoon over her cereal that she had not yet touched. Brittany decided to keep hush about Saturday night. It was as if she was lying, she just didn't want to see her mother get worried and raise the alarms again like she had done previously.<p>

"Nothing's happened at school, Momma. Nothing. At. All. Schoo- School is a safe and friendly environment for all teachers and pupils..." She replies, her voice is soft despite the strain she holds within her posture. "I will be safe." She nods and drops her spoon in to her bowl. "I'm not hungry, I don't want to eat." She declares before pushing back from her chair and finding her feet. She takes a quick glance at her mother before walking away without another word.

"Oh." Grace replies.

* * *

><p>Santana slides her foot against the icy ground that replaces the concrete with a glittering sheet. She found it fascinating that the most beautiful things in the world could cause so much catastrophe: Killer whale's, meteors, the forbidden fruit and a block of ice that sunk the Titanic. Her breath creates clouds around her head and despite the dawn already ageing nearer to noon, the moon still fought to remain present in the morning light. The sun dances across the horizon casting colours of pink and orange out that blanketed across the atmosphere while she watches as the last brown leaf from the oak tree fall to the ground, isolated and crispy with the cold.<p>

"What are you thinking about?" Brittany's voice grabs Santana's attention away from the fallen leaf and onto the Pierce residence where Brittany walks up the pathway. Santana grins, squinting under the the morning rays.

"How quickly everything can change." Santana replies honestly. "The seasons drift on by like days and feelings grow like..."

"Giant beanstalks?" Brittany asks as she meets Santana on the side-walk. Santana snorts and shrugs.

"Something like that." She giggles. The girls stand facing each other. Brittany's face is as soft and pristine as the frozen dew drops that covered every crevice of the land. She was as pure as snow and more beautiful than Santana could ever remember. On the other hand, Santana was radiant with heat, her eyes were like hot liquid metal that pierced through Brittany's, filling her with nothing but warmth. Together they were like fire and ice and they fit perfectly together.

"Are you ready?" Santana asks Brittany, her voice a little more strained and concerned and Brittany bites her lips with wonder.

"I don't think I'll ever be. But I can't run away. Not again, nope. I've got to... I got to face this." Brittany nods to herself, cracking her knuckles and scuffing her feet against the ground.

"I'm proud of you." Santana gushes, liking her arm with Brittany's as they walk towards the sun, ready to face the school day.

"Are you ready?" Brittany's repeats the question in return.

"Definitely not." Santana laughs nervously. "But it's worth it."

* * *

><p>Santana had never in her life felt inferior to anyone else. She had always been in the elite league at McKinley High. It was <em>her<em> job to cast her eyes down on people and make them squirm in nothing but their low self esteem. She was the voice, she made the rules and she had the whole school in the palm of her hand. For the first time ever however, she began to find out what it really tasted like to be at the bottom of the food chain and as she walked through the halls that day, everything was in slow motion. Each step was agonising with each second lasting for minutes. Her eyes were fixed to the floor where she had kept them all morning as pairs of eyes piled up on her. She hid her face behind her hair and clenched her fists, trying to stop them shaking with anxiety. Today she was living in Brittany's shoes and she didn't know if she could last.

Saturday's events had spread around the school. Everyone knew that Santana had quit from the Cheerios and everyone knew about Brittany's break down. The duo were the talk of the school this Monday morning and even though they tried their best to hide away from the student body; it didn't stop people from whispering among them, pointing and darting judging looks. If there was only one thing that could get Santana through the day, it was that Brittany was standing there right beside her.

"Hey, Santana?" A broad, male voice calls out to her and when she looks up she's violently greeted by an ice-cold cup of slush that slaps across her face and freezes her brain instantly, causing a rush of pain to wash across her head. She can taste the sweet raspberry flavour as it burns through her nostrils and down her throat. Her eyes begin to sting and her face soon becomes numb. The slush dribbles down her neck and back and all she can do is shiver in response. "Enjoy the bottom of the pyramid, looser!" The boy chuckles along with his friends before disappearing into the crowd. Brittany watches with wide eyes as Santana attempts to wipe the red liquid from her face. Santana blinks a couple of times to clear her vision and by that time, another crowd has surrounded her, all whispering, gasping and pointing.

"That's right!" Santana yells, flicking the sticky syrup from her fingers. "Just keep on staring because y'all have nothing better to do with your time." She stands in the middle of the semi-circle for the second time in a couple of days. "Laugh all you want, go ahead and tell you friends. You know what? I don't give a shit." She announces with a shiver. Brittany watches at the side, clutched to the wall before Santana turns to her. The pain is visible in Brittany's face, she wants to stand there with her and face the crowd, but Santana knows that she's incapable of it. So instead, she offers Brittany a wink to let her know that everything would be okay despite being publicly humiliated. "Go to class Brittany." She whispers. "I need to get cleaned up." Santana turns and heads for the direction of the crowd who split in half to let the ex-cheerleader through, not wanting to get any syrup on their own clothes. The onlookers don't even notice Brittany, all the attention was on Santana in that moment and soon the crowd separates and moves on to their next class leaving Brittany clutching at her books, surprised, confused and right out disgusted.

* * *

><p>Santana was given permission to skip morning classes so she could get washed off and luckily she kept a clean change of clothes in the girls locker room in case anything like that did happen. It took the best part of the morning to untug her hair and get rid of the sticky syrup that knotted it together. She didn't return to class as soon as she was ready. Instead, she sat on one of the benches and replayed the last few nights in her head. She felt insecure, she was scared and unsure if her decisions were right. But what she did know for sure was that he had fallen in love with Brittany and she concluded that this was her punishment. Her feelings had jeopardised her status at school, her position on the cheer leading squad, their chance of winning at Nationals but most of all, if her mother found out, it could jeopardize her career as well as their own relationship, the little they had left of it.<p>

"Santana." A familiar voice softly calls from behind her. She knew it was Quinn, but she didn't want to answer to _her._ She didn't even look at her. Quinn watches from the locker room door but gathers that Santana didn't want to hear it. "Santana we need to talk." Quinn tires again, carefully shutting the door behind her and locking it for privacy. She tip toes around the bench to face Santana and sits on the wooden panel opposite her. Santana's eyes are glued to the ground, her shoulders are hunched and she looks defeated and plain out exhausted. "Santana, what have you done?" Quinn whispers. But it wasn't an accusing tone that she usually let off, it was merely a question of curiosity. Santana doesn't answer, she doesn't even flinch. Quinn clears her throat and moves from the bench and kneels in front of her so she can see a clear view of Santana's face.

"This girl. Is she worth it? You've known her for so little time yet you're willing to give up everything to protect her." Quinn finally notices a shift in Santana's expression but it's nothing kind. Santana raises her gaze to stare at Quinn straight in the eyes. Her lips curl up as if she was about to snarl and her fists tighten into balls.

"You should be ashamed of yourself..." Santana spits. Quinn studies her for a moment, her face is unrecognisable. Santana showed a lot of things but one thing she had never exposed was hatred and Quinn was beginning to get a taste of it. Santana jumps off the bench, pushing Quinn to the side and proceeds to the exit the door, leaving Quinn swimming in a pool of loose ends and unanswered questions.

* * *

><p>Hours passed like days for both girls and still they stuck together through all of it. Coach Sylvester was absent that day but Brittany decided to accompany Santana to her office to drop off her old cheer outfit. It was emotional to retire right before Nationals, she had grown up fighting for that title each year, but the notion no longer fulfilled her any more and it became more of a chore than a hobby. They decided it was best to avoid the cafeteria that day and Santana even agreed to sit with Brittany outside the choir room to listen to the students sing. Santana surprisingly found it to be the most relaxing part of the day, despite her irrational dislike towards the choir group but the songs were joyous and they sung about finding hope in all the darkest of places. Brittany even rested her head on Santana's shoulder as they sat in the hallway, backs resting against the wall as they dug through their brown lunch bags. At least if they could get through today, then the rest could only get better.<p>

The worst part was walking to each class and being the subject of the talks and the looks. The cheerleaders giggled and the jocks ignored them all together. I guess Santana felt like everyone else and it was upsetting to admit how much an effect these people had on the rest of the school. Belittlement and judgement was what they did best.

* * *

><p>Thankfully, the last lesson of the day finally approached which was biology. The girls took their respective seats next to each other at the back of the classroom and as always, they were the first students inside. Mr Brown was busy typing away at his laptop, and greeted them with a half-assed grunt as they entered the classroom.<p>

"How are you doing?" Santana whispers, turning to Brittany in her chair who had said next to nothing all day. Brittany rubs her arms for friction despite staying zipped and buttoned up throughout the course of school and shrugs.

"Coping." She replies. "I can hear them whispering about me. I can feel their eyes pray on me and all I can hope for is a miracle to make it all disappear." Brittany continues sadly. Santana takes a look at the teacher who still keeps his attention on his work, and takes it as an opportunity to grab Brittany's hand, one glove over the other and letting their fingers entwine. Brittany watches their hands as Santana moves them underneath the desk and who squeezes her gently.

"That miracle will come, I promise. Who knows, it might just be around the corner." Santana comforts her with another squeeze and a soft smiles replaces Brittany's hard lined mouth.

"I really hope so, Santana." She whispers, her voice altering but not in away that proved defeat in all hope.

As expected, the class dragged on by with Mr Brown droning on about the final chapter to the reproductive system and for the first time in biology, Brittany mostly stared along with Santana out of the classroom window on their left. The frost had melted by the afternoon yet the sun was already on it's way to setting and the freezing temperatures would soon work its magic again. There was only ten minutes left of the class, and Santana switched her attention from the window to the clock repeatedly while her stomach began to tie in knots as the time neared to an end.

"Santana... you're shaking. Are you okay?" Brittany whispers. Santana turns around to find Brittany staring down at her leg. Santana watches as she shakes her own foot, like she usually did before performing at Nationals.

"I'm just little... nervous and excited." She replies, twisting around again to face Brittany. Brittany frowns, confused.

"But why?" Brittany asks. Santana moves her attention from Brittany to look behind her head and to the front of the class. She takes a deep breath and swallows before returning her gaze back to Brittany. A little smug smile flashes across Santana's face, a look that Brittany hadn't seen in a while.

"Because that miracle you wanted to happen. It's right here." Santana grins and nods her head, gesturing Brittany to look to the front of the class. Brittany hadn't noticed that the room had turned silent, even the teacher stopped talking as an overwhelming rush of anxiety courses through her. She slowly turns her head to face the front, and standing in the middle is a man dressed head to toe in military gear. She studies his tall, built frame before looking at his face and being greeted with piercing blue eyes that sends her heart racing. Her own eyes begin to water uncontrollably and it's as if the day had disappeared, as if all the turmoil had never happened as she clutches onto her desk.

"D-Daddy?" She cries out, overcome with happiness.

"Baby..." He replies, his own eyes becoming damp as he breaths out with the heaviest relief in the world. He opens his arms as Brittany gathers herself out of her chair and begins to run down the isle to the front of the class. They clash together before he lifts her up into an embrace, both of them crying together as they reunite. It had been a little over a year since they had last seen each other, despite everything that had happened in the last six months with the incident and moving.

"Dad you're he-ee-ere!" Brittany calls out, not loosening her grip. Her voice shrills with excitement and relief.

"I'm here baby, my darling daughter, I love you so much." He comforts her as she cries into the crook of his neck. Santana grins widely at the back of the class along with the rest of the students. She was happy to see Brittany regain faith again, yet after a while, her smile falters when she realises that she herself would never be able to experience such a precious moment with her own father. This father's love was unconditional, and he fought around the world for moments like these.

Santana watches sadly now as she begins to realise; maybe her father just didn't care, like she always wanted to believe.

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter IX<em>

**So I was listening to the OST for The Notebook and Pearl Harbour when writing this chapter and it just gave me a lot of feelings, haha.  
>Yay for Brittany's father finally showing up! There's still so much to write about so thanks again for all of your reviews! <strong>


	10. Chapter X

_[AN] So I've done a lot of thinking about how I'm going to continue this story in regards of the content in each chapter. Originally I planned to go into much detail as possible to create the right build-up between Santana and Brittany which meant no major time jumps. Then I decided to fiddle around with it in the last couple of chapters to try and get the story moving forward but I've decided that I'm going to stick with my original plan. I think every detail between the pair, especially with Brittany having her condition is important for the story and their relationship so you'll begin to it's back to basics. Also this chapter was going to be a lot longer but I've decided to chop it into two. I hope you enjoy part one and again, thanks for all of your reviews._

_PS. Thank you so much for Bekah, my beta who has kindly agreed to help polish the story into shape. :)_

**_CHAPTER X_**

* * *

><p>We all have a hero in us. We all have that someone in our lives that we look up to and it's their strength that keeps our blood flowing and makes us hope that maybe one day we can find that strength in ourselves. These were the people who really taught us how to love, they taught us to find that one thing that we cherished in our hearts and to never give up fighting for it; even if it was impossible, there would always be worthiness in the end. At least you'd know that you didn't stop trying and that in itself made you a stronger person.<p>

"Just like my papa always told me; King Robert Bruce of Scotland almost gave up fighting for his country against King Edward II of England." Brittany enthuses, almost shouting childishly in the back seat of her parents Jeep. "So when he took refuge in a cave with barely any hope left for victory, he found a spider in the corner..." Brittany trails her fingers across the car window, wiping away the condensation to draw out the image of a spider. Santana watches at the opposite end of the car with Brittany's parents listening with wide smiles in the front as they drive home from school.

"He watched as the spider tried to throw her web from one part of the cave to the other and watched as she failed six times." Brittany draws a six next to the spider and turns around to Santana to make sure she was listening. "Six times!"

"The King also fought against the English six times and failed. He told himself, if this spider failed a seventh, then he too would give up and surrender to King Edward. Isn't that right, Dad?" Brittany muses, locking her arms over the passengers seat and ruffling her father's short, fair hair.

"That's right, kiddo," He replies cheerfully with a Southern twang in his voice. Brittany was born and raised in Arizona but her father originally came from Louisiana and his quirky accent was one of the many traits that Brittany loved so much about him.

"Luckily for Robert, the spider succeeded on her seventh attempt and managed to finish spinning her web and King Bruce went on to defeating the English with his army in the epic Battle of Bannockburn. 5,000 men against 20,000 and they still won... Year 1314, yep!" Brittany nods with a grin. Santana rolls her eyes playfully and sighs. She loves seeing Brittany in such high spirits and for someone who was known to have a cold personality, it actually made her feel warm inside.

Brittany studies her artwork on the window pane before smudging the illustration out with her glove and rests her head on the glass. She closes her eyes for a moment and when she opens them, she finds Santana's hand resting idly on the middle seat and lets her gaze travel up to Santana's face, whose attention was fixated on the buildings rushing past by her side of the window. It was kind for her parents to offer Santana a ride home, seeing as they were neighbours and Brittany takes it as a moment to reflect on what they had shared in the past weekend. Her mind automatically blanks out the incident from the party and instead, she remembers the part afterwards. The part where they both said I love you. Love was a strong word and Brittany was definitely aware of what it was but how could she feel it? Or was it something she could see? What made it so easy for Brittany, the girl who spent all her life building a wall around herself, to come out and confess that she felt the same way as Santana? How could she ever know what Santana was feeling?

Was it the way Santana looked? The way her silk, raven hair bounced in loose ringlets down her back so perfectly that Brittany just wanted to brush her hand through and feel how soft it was. Was it the way those dark, smoky eyes lit up whenever she said something to make Santana feel good about herself? Just like the way they light up now as she stares out of the window. It's as if she blocks out all the heartache so easily. Was it the way her dark olive skin glowed all the time and the way her cheeks turned pink as the cold air kissed her face? Maybe it was her lips and the way her tongue glided across them from time to time or the way she gripped her bottom lip between her teeth whenever she was deep in thought like she's doing now. Her laugh was also contagious; and that smile, the one she's giving Brittany right at this moment when she catches Brittany looking at her with a toothy grin. The sun is setting and the light is capturing Santana's face perfectly in this moment, every feature that Brittany loves so much about her is enhanced and it takes her breath away.

"Are you an angel?" Brittany whispers, clearly infatuated. Santana's cheeks burn pink again as she tries to stifle a huge smile and turns her attention to the front of the car where Grace's eyes meet her own in the rear view mirror. Santana quickly snaps away and clears her throat to shake off any obvious shenanigans that may have been happening in the back seat between the girls. She redirects her attention back outside and watches as they pull up into their neighbourhood.

* * *

><p>"Mom... Mom. Are we having dinner together? Are we having dinner like Christmas dinner early 'cause dad's home? Is the family around? Mom. Wha-what about Grandma, is she here?" The excitement in Brittany's voice causes her parents and Santana to laugh lightheartedly as they exit the car after pulling up into their drive.<p>

"Well, the good thing honey, about tearing your ligaments and having a clean break in your leg is having over a month's leave. So we can have Christmas dinner on Christmas Day, pumpkin," her father chortles. Santana watches Brittany take her father's hand under her mitten and squeeze it before he returns the gesture. The family walks around to their front lawn but Santana stands awkwardly on the sidewalk before Brittany's father turns around and meets her gaze with friendly blue eyes that are the same oceanic shade as Brittany's.

"I've heard much about you, Santana. It means a lot that you've taken our daughter under your wing, she needs someone like that, so thank you," he says appreciatively and Santana responds shyly by shrugging her shoulders and kicking the gravel beneath her feet.

"It's my pleasure, sir."

"Please, call me James." He winks, before spinning around to his wife and firmly plants a kiss up on her cheek.

"My dad's home," Brittany gushes out, absolutely elated with her fathers return. Grace pulls away for a moment before walking up the pathway back to Santana and takes her by the arm.

"Thank you so much for keeping this surprise, I knew you were excited about James returning home for Brittany." Grace expresses much gratitude with her words as they both watch Brittany as she playfully punches and kicks her father on the lawn. "He really was her best friend when she was growing up." Santana had learned of James' upcoming arrival on Sunday evening.

Santana had showed up on her porch the night before, hoping to see Brittany before school started the next day but Grace explained that her daughter was already fast asleep. It wasn't a surprise then for Santana to hear that Brittany had been acting 'off' for the remaining part of the weekend. Brittany had nothing to say at all on Sunday and mostly just stared into space with furrowed eyebrows as if a million and one thoughts were rushing by in her head. She refused to eat anything more than a shred of lettuce and she even made a fuss when she had to take her medication.

* * *

><p>"<em>I don't know what's gotten into her. She didn't even say goodnight to me, or even a good morning for that matter," Grace sighed heavily at her porch door. Santana didn't know what to say; she figured that Brittany might have told her the truth but here Grace was, completely oblivious to the fact that her daughter had experienced meltdown 2.0 the night before. "It's almost like she's back to acting the way she did after the incident at her previous school," she mused.<em>

_Santana just held her breath, fighting whether to say something or not but if Brittany wanted that kind of news to get out, she would have told her mother already. Then again, she only had her parents to rely on when Brittany lived in Arizona but now she had Santana too. "Thank god her father's coming home tomorrow. I'm going to try and convince her to stay home from school so he can surprise her when he returns. Then she'll definitely have that smile back on her face."_

"_No!" Santana snapped, causing Grace to look at her quizzically. As much as Santana had the best intentions for Brittany, if she was going to walk around school the next day with the world watching her back, she couldn't do it alone and if that made Santana selfish, then so be it. "I mean, wouldn't it be more of a surprise if his return was the last thing she expected? I'll take her to school. I'll be with her in Biology for last period and he can show up there and then and it'll be awesome," she planned, nodding. _

"_Would the school even allow that?" Grace scratched her chin in doubt but Santana just shrugged like it was no big deal._

"_Totally! It's like, all over Youtube and stuff, it happens all the time." Santana reassured her. Grace just sighed, then nodded in agreement._

"_Well, I guess she has been paying more attention to you lately so I'll take your word for it. But she can't know," Grace emphasised that last part to make herself more clear. _

"_She wont suspect a thing," Santana promised. After all, she was good a keeping secrets._

* * *

><p>Santana looks at Brittany now who has a firm hold of her fathers waist and her head nuzzled into his chest and all she can do is smirk.<p>

"Any time," Santana replies to Grace, clicking her tongue and looking around to her own house to try and guess if it was occupied or not.

"Listen, I would have loved if you'd join us for dinner, but it's been a long time since our family has been together, so maybe next time?" Grace apologises but Santana shakes her head as if to tell her not to be ridiculous.

"No, no. I completely understand. This is your family's time. I hope you all have a wonderful night. I got loads of homework I need to catch up on anyway," Santana replies, taking a couple of steps back. "but thank you, Grace. And it was lovely to meet you, James!" she shouts as the family makes their way over to their porch. Santana's eyes fall on Brittany last who cranes her neck back to glance Santana. Santana offers her a smile goodbye as a sweet gesture but Brittany separates herself from her father and runs back down the lawn. She stops when she reaches Santana and for a moment, nothing is exchanged but adoring looks.

"T-take... take my gloves," Brittany whispers and Santana frowns, confused but Brittany has already taken one off and begins to pull at her fingers of the other.

"Huh? Why?"

"It's gonna be cold out tonight. Cold like, zero degrees Celsius maybe. No clouds. Nope. Do you know if you're exposed t-to the cold at only zero degrees you can get frostbite? I.. I really don't want to get frostbite so I might need those later. B-but I do have heating, so.. so it kinda defeats the purpose but... I'll need those later." Brittany explains but Santana's face remains at a loss. Brittany begins to walk away before spinning around again. "Oh and Santana? You look _real _pretty today," she compliments, mimicking her father's Southern accent, causing Santana to come out of her confused state and responds with a dorky grin as she holds Brittany's mittens in her grip, whipped like _Reddi Wip _whipped cream.

'_Shit.'_ she thinks to herself as she watches the Pierce family finally enter their home.

* * *

><p>Santana sits in the lounge alone, staring at her homework, seeing the words for her assignment but being unable to process them. The house had been empty for the best part of the night and her mother was soon expected to return tired, stressed and undoubtedly in the most foul of moods. But Santana didn't care. All she could think about was how in a couple of days, she had become more of a school clown than Brittany. Sure, Brittany was a nobody, but after Santana's stunt with Puck and resigning from head captain of the Cheerios, Santana was the girl who everyone was talking about. Puck was the golden boy at school and once upon a time he and Santana were the golden couple but after the summer before senior year, the chemistry fizzled out and the gold turned to brass.<p>

Santana was now the joke; Puck would rather get it on with a socially inept nobody with about as much sex appeal as a rubber fucking duck than even attempt to get with her again. Even when the duo were walking side by side down the hallways, most of the whispers were directed at Santana. "_Did you see her get slushied?" _"_Did you hear she quit Cheerios?", _"_Sad, sad girl. Puck was right to dump her."_

Somehow the news got out about Santana's mother finding the marijuana and people even went as far to say that she was having issues with a drug addiction and she was told to quit Cheerios to attend rehab. On the other hand, the worst that Brittany got was that nobody really cared for her in the first place and the only controversy was that she had been caught up in an unfortunate situation with Puck who was known for being the player. Even then, it was Puck who was getting judged the most and who was getting accused of taking advantage of an innocent drunk girl.

Santana buries her head in the couch pillow and growls out agitatedly. Who would have thought that she was the one to be pushed from her pedestal and even more, for her to bring it on herself. Yet on the brighter side, at least it wasn't Brittany. Santana twiddles her pen between her thumb and forefinger and begins to doodle on her assignment notes.

"Fuck history," she blurts out as she becomes more fidgety. Then she remembers the story that Brittany told her in the car on the way home and the way the students in the biology class all wore grins the moment Brittany and her father reunited. All they saw was a solider who fought for their country come home to be with his daughter. He was a hero to them; someone who inspired them and anyone could appreciate that, from the jocks all the way to that damn Glee club. The worst that could happen was if Brittany and Santana were to swap places and for Brittany to become the popular girl while Santana kept her head to the ground and received slushy facials everyday. Santana rolls her eyes at such an absurd thought and throws her book to the floor, causing it slap against the wood.

"I hope you're going to pick that up," a snarly voice says from behind her causing Santana to jump a couple of feet in the air.

"Jesus fucking Christ, mother, you almost killed me!" Santana yelps, clutching her chest as she peeks her head up from the couch.

"Language," Anita sighs, clacking her heels across the hall and dumping her bag at the bottom of the stairs. "How was cheer practice?"

Santana knew that the question was coming. Sadly, it was never 'How was school?' or 'How was your day?' The only thing Anita cared about was if her daughter was bringing in the trophies.

"Meh," Santana replies, picking up her books, ready to dash off into her room. "Don't want to talk about it." Santana can hear rattling from the kitchen as her mother rakes through cupboards for hell knows what and she takes it as an opportunity to leave without anything else needed to be said. As she crosses the bottom hallway, she catches a glimpse of her mother pouring a bottle of red wine into a glass and downing it greedily, causing her to stop in her tracks completely. She peeks from behind the doorway into the kitchen and watches her mother pour another one. Anita always had a couple of bottles on her when hosting dinner parties, but they were strictly for the guests only.

She hasn't taken a drink of alcohol ever since she missed her own daughter's performance at Nationals two years ago when she was too hungover to get out of bed. Santana watches as she gulps down the second glass. Then a third, and Santana can't help but feel a wave of disappointment wash over her.

"Momma, is that wine?" she asks. Of course it is but for some reason, she doesn't want to believe it.

"Yes, Santana. Is there a problem?" Anita sighs tiredly, spinning around with a fourth full glass in her hand to find Santana standing in the doorway.

"I just thought you had given up," Santana replies, her voice is monotonous and it only prooves that she feels let down.

"Yeah well, when you go out of your way, trying to gain financial status to create buzz and schmooze with old rich men with eyes bigger than their dicks then it can get very, _very_ stressful," Anita retorts, swigging the last remains of the bottle.. Santana watches cautiously, wondering how long it would take for her behaviour to change as it always did. Sometimes her mother would become angry and other times extremely emotional. It's when she turns violent and begins to smash plates that Santana begins to worry.

"If you're trying for mayoral candidacy, isn't drowning your hard efforts with a bottle of red the last thing you should be doing?" Santana asks, clearly annoyed.

"Don't lecture me, Santana," Anita snaps. "I am your mother." God knows how many times Santana has heard that reasoning before. "It would be a lot more helpful on your part if you spend less time focusing on my career and more time on working to winning _Nationals_." Santana scoffs and shakes her head in disbelief.

"And what if I don't _win_ Nationals, Mom. Then what am I going to do?" She replies. Anita spins the wine glass in her hand and laughs.

"Then you'll be nothing more than a failure to me." Anita replies, so easily and without any doubt present in the way she said it.

Santana holds in a breath as her mother's words sink in. She might as well have smashed the end off that bottle and stabbed her heart with it but also like her mother, Santana was just as feisty and stubborn.

"What, just like my father?"

"Don't bring him into this..."

"Where is he, Mom? Why haven't I heard from him?" Santana raises her voice and curls her fists. She watched Brittany reunite with her father today and that's all Santana ever wanted for years, to have that moment with her own father.

"I've told you time and time again. He doesn't want anything to do with us. Now drop it or so God help me," Anita warns her, slamming the glass on the counter-top.

"I don't believe you," Santana whispers. "You know, you always go on about how he and I are so similar. How much of a disappointment he was and how you expect me to go down the same route. But the truth is... _you're_ my mother. I'm meant to look up to _you_ and find my inspiration in _you_ but all I can think of is if I ever remotely end up living my life that reflects yours in anyway, then I know that somewhere along the line I gave up. Life is not all about a career or worrying about making everything perfect. It's about love and acceptance and making mistakes so that we learn and grow from them. We have forgiveness," Santana struggles to keep her voice bold as the scratchiness return in her throat again.

Anita pouts her lips and eyes her daughter whose fists are clenched but her face is furrowed and desperately seeking for some sort of understanding between the two of them.

"Since when did you try to become the next Martin Luther King?" Anita laughs patronisingly. "Get out of my face."

Santana bites her lip with hurt. She's used to getting shot down by her mother like this all the time but it doesn't mean that it stings any less.

"Fine," Santana snaps, folding her arms. "Stay drunk, but I'd like to see how far that gets you in your petty campaign," she snarls before turning around to charge up the stairs before any more damage could be said or done. Luckily, there was no sign of any sudden movement from the kitchen and after a while, Santana was able to wonder around freely in her room, vexed and ready to lash out.

It had never occurred to Santana before that her room was basically a trophy cabinet and it wasn't even for her own benefit. Countless times she remembered her mother bringing strange guests in to her bedroom to show off and boast about _her_ daughter's achievements and how much work _she_ put in to all of it. Santana was fundamentally a robot controlled by her own flesh and blood. She was a clone.

Santana eyes the trophies and certificates that plaster her walls and shelves with disgust. She slowly walks up to her first certificate ever presented that's blue-tacked, dog-eared and crinkled and brushes her hand against the paper. It was an award for getting past her first level in dance at age four. With one swift movement, she rips the certificate and crumples it in her hand, dropping it to the floor. Then the one next to that and the other one next to that one. She begins a rhythm of tearing down the sheets of paper from each wall, ripping them into pieces and scattering them across the carpet like flakes of snow. Her teeth are clenched and her throat tenses as she gets rid of the frustration that riles up inside her.

Next, she eyes the trophies but to avoid her mother becoming hysterical from the noise, she grabs as many as she can from gold to bronze from her shelf and kicks open her closet, throwing them inside and repeats until there aren't any left in her sight.

"If I ever see another damn trophy, I swear..." she tells herself, before slamming the closet door shut again. She stands breathless for a couple of moments facing her closet with tears threatening to fall from her eyes. She doesn't count the seconds or the minutes that pass by; she doesn't notice that her room is dark and the only source of light is the dull glow that emanates from the hallway. She just stands there listening to the sounds of her breaths until they eventually even out again and questions if she really has the strength to go on the way she has been. Always so... _angry._

Her mother is an ex-drunk and on her way to relapsing. Her father has been missing in action for years without a word of why and she now walks around school with a bullseye pinned to her back. Even the girl next door who has had so many privileges in life stripped away from her seems happier. The girl next door who Santana is in love with. She's a girl... Brittany is a _girl a_nd that's one of the hardest things for Santana to accept.

"No," Santana whispers to herself. She couldn't be... could she? Santana turns her back to the closet and falls against against the door before sliding down to sit on the floor. She thinks about her relationship with Puck - except it wasn't really an emotionally intimate relationship at all. Santana never felt herself longing for the boy or hoping that he'd send her a card on Valentine's Day. She didn't stay up until the early hours of the morning writing love letters and gushing about him all over her diary.

In fact, she never felt herself feel like that for any man. Even when she was younger she was always fawning over female icons. Her first kiss was with a girl from Kindergarten when playing house and even now when she is intimate, she avoids eye contact like the plague _._ Santana props her head back against the door and rubs her eyes tiredly. Thinking too much makes her brain hurt and she definitely done enough of that today. She breathes out a weary sigh and closes her eyes in an attempt to relax. She forgets to open them again before she falls into an uncomfortable but deep sleep.

* * *

><p>A light tapping sound stirs Santana awake from and when she opens her eyes, she is consumed by darkness. Forgetting where she is, she feels around her surroundings with her hands and manages to pick up several pieces of paper before remembering. <em>Oh.<em> She stretches out her legs and yawns, letting her bones click before stumbling back to her feet with help from pulling herself up on the closet handle and sluggishly walking over to her bedside lamp to flick on the switch.

The unfamiliar tapping continues before Santana fully takes notice of it and she immediately looks over to her door that is still left ajar, just the way she remembered it. Her attention wonders around her bedroom with beating as as she tries to find the source of the tapping. When she glances at her window, her eyes remain glued to their position.

She takes a deep breath in anticipation and although she has a rough idea of what it may be, it doesn't seem any less freakier to her. She slowly tiptoes from her bed to behind the curtain and grabs the material in her hand before drawing it back swiftly and finding noneother than Brittany directly on the other side, swinging awkwardly upside down on a tree branch. Santana's heart still jumps with fright nonetheless but she grabs the rungs and pushes her window up and open to be welcomed by a bitter chill and a breathless Brittany.

"What the hell are you doing?" Santana whispers loudly, turning back to make sure she there was no one else awake in the house. Brittany falls in rather gracefully, managing not to make too much of a thud and dusts herself off as if it's no big deal.

"It is really cold out tonight..." Brittany replies, shivering a little before standing up and meeting Santana at eye level. "My parents went to bed early and I got cold." Santana frowns and takes in Brittany's appearance. She's dressed in her favourite duck one piece which is even complete with her white woolly hat and matching scarf.

"Where are your gloves? Your hands are red raw!" Santana begins to fuss, quickly leaving Brittany at the window to shut her door before returning by her side again. Brittany rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

"I _told _you that I would have to come back to get them. Remember?" Brittany rubs her hands together to heat them up.

"Come here," Santana replies softly, taking Brittany by the wrists and guiding her hands into the front pocket of her own sweater. Santana pulls at her cuffs over her own hands before placing them on top of Brittany's in her pocket. "They should warm up soon," she whispers. Brittany shows her thanks with a gracious beam that causes Santana to become flushed. "How long were you outside for?" Santana asks. Brittany takes a deep breath and holds it in thought as she purses her lips with narrow eyes.

"Long enough to get frostbite and long enough to know I can't feel them. Don't worry though. No need to worry because the same thing happens with my nose and the feeling will be back in a couple of minutes... Like little sharp tingles and that's when I know. That's when I know my nose wont go black and fall off." Brittany nods, attempting to twiddle her fingers in Santana's pocket but failing miserably. Santana squints under the poor light as they face each other only inches apart. Slowly and oh so carefully, Santana reaches her fingers out from underneath her arm cuffs in her pocket, not removing her gaze from Brittany to watch if there was any sudden shift in her expression. She stretches her right index finger out and lightly grazes her finger along Brittany's hand. Santana holds her breath, waiting for some sort of reaction that never comes. She does it again but with more pressure this time and even though Brittany's hands were scarily cold, Santana was still able to touch her skin.

"Santana..." Brittany whispers. Santana finally exhales and returns her hands back within her cuffs.

"Yes?" Santana replies cautiously.

"Would you be able to find my gloves?" Brittany whispers back, oblivious to what Santana had just done. Santana closes her eyes in relief and giggles out.

"Uh.. Yeah. Yeah sure... They're um... They're downstairs, I'll be right back." Santana offers a quick smile as Brittany removes her hands from Santana's sweater pocket. "Two seconds..." Santana quickly spins around and skips to her door before opening and shutting it quietly behind her.

* * *

><p>When Santana returns, her face is nothing similar to the enchanted look she had before she left the room. Her eyes no longer sparkle with excitement from seeing Brittany that night and instead, they are distant and unfocused. Her mouth is a hard line and she walks in with her shoulders slouched and feet dragging across the floor.<p>

"I never knew two seconds felt like ten minutes," Brittany says from Santana's bed. She lays comfortable on top of the sheets, holding some of the scraps of paper that Santana had ripped up earlier.

"Sorry. I got... distracted." Santana replies unenthusiastically before slumping in to a spot on the bed next to Brittany.

"Why are your certificates ripped up?" Brittany asks, trying to piece one back together but has difficulty with finding all the shreds. Santana drops Brittany's gloves on the bed before gathering the pieces and throwing them on her night stand.

"It doesn't matter," she sighs. Brittany turns to her friend, confused by the change of heart and notices that her cheeks were damp and her eyes were glistening over.

"Have... Santana? Have you been crying?" Brittany asks worriedly. Santana covers her face to wipe her eyes but shakes her head.

"No, no. I'm just really tired. It's been an eventful day." Santana yawns and climbs beneath her bedsheets.

Little does Brittany know that when Santana scurried downstairs to find her mittens, she found her mother instead, lying passed out on the couch in the lounge with another half empty bottle of red, toppled over and spilling onto the beige carpet that soaked it up hungrily. She didn't want to see her mother like that again but it was out of her power to stop it and for that she could only blame herself.

"I'm fine," Santana whispers.

"Okay... If you say so." Brittany replies, twiddling her fingers, unsure if Santana is being completely honest with her.

"Can you feel your hands yet?" Santana yawns again, nuzzling her head further into the pillow of her side of the bed. Brittany nods and picks up her gloves and slips her hands into them.

"Yeah," Brittany whispers, biting her lip and wondering if she should leave.

"Britt..." Santana whispers softly. Brittany turns her head down to Santana whose eyes fall heavier with each blink. "Everything's going to be okay... isn't it?" She asks. Brittany frowns, confused by the uncertainty in Santana's voice as for someone who has always been so sure and confident within herself, that asking for Brittany's own reassurance kind of threw Brittany off.

"I don't know, Santana. How can anyone know?" she replies honestly. It wasn't the answer that Santana wanted to hear but at least it was honest. She pulls the sheets from underneath Brittany and throws them over her, inviting her into the warmth of her bed.

"Stay with me tonight?" Santana mumbles at the brink of exhaustion but manages to muster up enough energy to ask one last thing from her.

"As in... fall asleep with you?" Brittany replies shyly. Santana twists away from Brittany to face the wall to leave enough room for Brittany to lie down.

"Yeah... As in fall asleep with me," she murmurs. Brittany looks around the room for a moment then back to Santana who is on her way to counting sheep.

"Oh... okay," she whispers back before turning to switch off the lamp and scooting down the bed next to Santana, lying directly behind her.

Santana listens to her own breaths as she falls deeper into a shade of black. She can feel Brittany's breath mimic hers on the back of her neck and it only relaxes her even further.

Brittany can smell the coconut scent from the shampoo that lingers on Santana's hair as she tries to relax as well. There was enough room on the bed to spread out but Brittany is afraid to do so and instead, she wraps her arm around Santana's waist as if she was about to disappear at any moment.

She can feel Santana stiffen from underneath her hold and immediately wonders if she made the right decision. A couple of moments later however, Santana leans further back into Brittany, cuddling into her and encouraging Brittany to hold her more tightly. It was as if she belonged there all along.

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter X<em>

**So that's the first part of their night. I wonder how the second part is going to play out. Hmm... ;)**


	11. Chapter XI

**__**_[AN] Thanks for your patience for the second part (you know how busy the days leading up to Christmas can be!) and also for the reviews. Seriously, I get a little flutter in my tummy whenever I see a new one in my inbox, lol. And thank you again to my beta, Bekah! _

**_CHAPTER XI_**

* * *

><p>"<em>Relax, Brittany. It's okay," Santana whispers slowly into Brittany's ear, her breath is warm against her skin and it stirs Brittany awake. Tiredly, Brittany opens her eyes even though it feels as if she has slept for a hundred years and is beyond well rested. Her bearings are hazy at first, but when she regains her sight she immediately notices Santana hovering over her whose cheeky smirk reaches from ear to ear and whose eyes are bright with excitement despite the dully lit room. "Sleep well?" Santana giggles and covers her mouth shyly to hide away her amusement. Brittany tries to raise her arms to itch the remains of sleep in her eyes but an unfamiliar force stops her from doing so.<em>

"_San… Santana wh-where's my hands?" Brittany croaks, still waking up. Santana breaks out into another giggle and shakes her head in awe. _

"_You're lying on them behind your back, silly." Santana watches completely engrossed with Brittany who soon realises that she is being straddled. Brittany blinks widely in surprise which only adds fuel to the fire as Santana throws her head back in laughter. _

"_What time is it? Are we late for school? How long have I been sleeping for?" The room is still dark and the night is long from over but Brittany spews out the questions as she struggles to free her arms from under her back._

"_Shh…" Santana quickly presses a finger against Brittany's lips causing her to freeze. She waits a couple of seconds for the panic to set in but it never arrives. She doesn't feel the tingles that set fire to her body; her heart doesn't begin to beat at a rapid pace nor can she feel her muscles cramp up like they usually do. As Santana's cold finger brushes against her lips, Brittany doesn't feel threatened or frightened, only exhilarated. "See," Santana whispers again with a victorious smile as she leans closer to Brittany. "I knew you could do it." Brittany lies still, watching apprehensively as Santana's stoops down to her eye level, sitting only inches apart. "Close your eyes, Brittany," Brittany can feel Santana's warm breath against her face and it sends her blood pumping through her veins in a frenzy but only this time, it excites her . "Close your eyes," Santana says again and Brittany obeys, shutting them automatically. For a moment there isn't any movement between the girls and the dead silence causes Brittany to twiddle her toes inside her one-piece with anticipation. Finally, Santana slowly slides her finger across Brittany's lips and again but brushes her bottom lip with her thumb this time. _

"_So sweet," Santana whispers before taking her hand away and replacing them with her own, gentle lips. _

_Brittany's breath catches in her throat from the contact and Santana stays still for a moment to make sure that Brittany is comfortable. Brittany explores her lips, the way they taste, the way her bottom lip is shaped and the soft texture as she brushes against her. This is what Brittany wants and she opens her mouth wider to allow Santana to deepen the kiss._

_Both of Santana's hands travel down to Brittany's waist as she draws circles with her thumbs on her hip bones and Brittany tries to shift her arms from underneath to get more comfortable but the more she tries to move, the firmer Santana's grip becomes on her waist as if Santana was intentionally trying to keep her still. _

"_Santana?" Brittany mumbles in between kisses, becoming wearier as the kiss becomes vigorous. Santana replies by biting Brittany's bottom lip and finally after having enough, Brittany manages wriggle her hands out from beneath her back and places a palm on each side of Santana's face to push her away. It's the grittiness of Santana's cheeks that tells Brittany that something isn't right. She trails her fingers lightly down Santana's jaw and is met with stubble that pricks away at the pads of her hands. Confused and slightly surprised, Brittany pushes Santana away forcefully and breaks the kiss as Santana falls back on to the bed. _

_The scratching sensation lingers against Brittany's face for a moment as she hesitantly opens her eyes again. Santana doesn't say a word and Brittany squints through the darkness to search for her but she is nowhere to be seen. _

"_Sss… Santana?" Brittany whispers shakily. She sits up in the bed and brings her knees protectively to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. "Santana?" She asks again and as before, there is no answer. Thoughts begin to riddle through her head as quickly as she realises that she's not any longer in Santana's bedroom nor she ever was. The room is colourless as it is lifeless, a cheap light flickers on and off in the centre of the ceiling which can pass as dirty alleyway street lamp. The size is also abnormally different as the length is long that the opposite end of the wall is a good fifty meters away. There is no window and the bed that she lies on is sandwiched between the two other walls that look as if they can close in on her at any moment. That's when the panic starts to grow inside Brittany as she begins to realise that she is here all by herself and had been all along with the shadows that shift from time to time at the end of the bed. _

"_Please," Brittany begs. She clutches on to the bed sheets next to her and pulls on them for some sort of leverage, causing the shadows shift and draw nearer. Brittany's heart begins to thud against her rib cage and her throat tightens up from the anxiety as she watches a silhouette appear at the foot of the bed. It's the body of a man wearing nothing but black garments and his face remains hidden in the shadow, away from the flickering light. _

"_It was only a kiss…" He says in a brassy, cold and almost vengeful tone. A cold shill shoots down Brittany's spine as she recognises the voice, but can't put a face to it and as if Satan can hear her squirm, the shadows begin to draw back, revealing more of the man's upper body, his neck and then lastly his face. The noise that escapes Brittany's lips is unrecognisable as she gurgles down a scream. The boy is the same boy from Quinn's party, the one with the Mohawk with the sleazy grin and wondering hands along with his grey eyes. Brittany's fists shoot automatically to her face to hide away from the offender but it her defence is short lived when she feels his weight return to the bed causing the springs to creak and cry out. That's when she really begins to scream. It was her worst nightmare coming to life and all she can do is punch and kick and pray that he'll back the hell off._

"_Brittany?" He says calmly, trying to pin her legs but her desperation plays stronger as she manages to kick his hand back off. _

"_Please, leave me alone!" she cries out, completely hysteric as to why this was happening to her. _

"_Brittany, calm down!" His voice appears more friendlier unlike the first time he spoke. _

"_Go away!" She begs again. _

"_Please Britt, please. It's just me!" Brittany notices the shift in tone as the voice becomes soft and feminine again before she realises that it belongs to Santana. "Shh! It's okay, it's okay!" Santana whispers and it's like honey dripping from a pot to Brittany. She was still unable to open her eyes, or tear away her hands from her face but she stops thrashing around and her screams finally turn into small sobs as she listens to Santana's calming voice. "Please open your eyes, Brit, I'm not going to hurt you," _

It takes a couple of more minutes of convincing from Santana for Brittany to open her eyes and when she does, she feels as if she slept for barely anytime at all. Her eyes adjust more easily this time as the room is illuminated by the bed side lamp that Santana had switched on before she woke. A flood of relief washes over Brittany when she realises that she's back to being in Santana's room like she remembers. Brittany catches Santana staring at her in her peripheral vision but can't pluck up the courage to look at her just yet. Instead, she wipes away the sleep from her eyes and chews on her nail without acknowledging her as she couldn't face looking at Santana again just to be bombarded with her sinister hallucinations.

"Brittany? Can you look at me?" Santana asks from the bottom of the bed but Brittany just shakes her head. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"What time is it?" Brittany replies bluntly, keeping her gaze on one of the naked shelves that used to be decorated with trophies.

"Just past four a.m. Do you want me to get you anything?"

"Did I wake your mom?" Brittany avoids her question again.

"No, luckily she can sleep for America once she's had a few in her," Santana jokes bitterly but Brittany is oblivious to it all. Neither of the girls say anything at all for a long while as they adjust to the early morning before Santana finally unpins her hands from Brittany's ankles and shuffles next to her on the bed.

"We can stay up until you feel tired again, I'm okay with that." Santana yawns and folds her arms over the sheet, widening her eyes to try and shake off any heaviness.

"I'm so embarrassed…" Brittany barely whispers and Santana turns her head to find Brittany eyes red and swollen with unshed tears. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't," Santana tells her immediately. "Never apologise for something you have no control over." Brittan hangs her head in shame, hiding her face from Santana by using her hair as a curtain. "Please Britt, look at me?" Santana desperately asks a final time. "I'm not going to hurt you. I promise,"

Brittany twiddles her thumbs for a few seconds more before taking a deep breath and raises her head until her eyes flicker over to Santana's. They're warm despite her obvious stress and tiredness.

Santana recognises the pain immediately in Brittany's face and as if that wasn't hard enough to see, a single tear falls down Brittany's cheek that melts into the corner of her mouth. Santana wants so badly just to wipe it away but just like the pain, it was harder than it looked.

"I don't want to feel like this anymore, Santana." Brittany sniffs, wiping her nose.

"I know." Santana replies kindly and narrows her eyes deep in thought. "Remember when you told me that if you woke up in the middle of the night after a bad dream, you just wanted someone to hold you and tell you that everything was going to be okay?" Santana asks. Brittany just nods and sighs heavily. Santana looks back at her and smiles softly. "Well, I'm here…"

Even though her eyes are sticky with sadness and her head hurts with fatigue, Brittany still manages to crack a smile and leans her head onto Santana's shoulder before wrapping her arms around her waist again.

"And it will; everything is going to be okay." Santana whispers, rubbing Brittany's arms. They hold on to each other for a good ten minutes and sleep almost grabs at Santana before Brittany shifts under her grasp.

"Santana?" She asks.

"Mmhmm?" Santana mumbles as she feels her eyes close unwillingly again.

"What does it feel like, to be… intimate with someone? Like, sexually?"

Santana's eyes suddenly spring wide open again and she too stiffens with surprise.

"Uh, why d-do you ask?" she stutters awkwardly in return.

"Because lately I've been having these thoughts…" Brittany replies honestly.

"About what?"

"About you and the way you make me feel sometimes."

Santana arches an eyebrow, clearly intrigued and flattered by Brittany's confession.

"And?"

"When I'm with you now, I tend to get… I tend to feel… Well. It's just that I can't stop thinking about it and even when I'm not with you it's in my mind and it makes me frustrated to the point where I'm even dreaming about it." Brittany begins to spew out more explanations and reasons and gets more flustered as the seconds tick by.

"About what?" Santana teases, clearly enjoying it.

"About… _it!" _Brittany stresses, causing Santana to cackle.

"Oh girl, you're such a prude!" Santana giggles and squeezes Brittany under her grasp a little. "Well, I guess It's like when the water from the shower hits your skin for the first time. Your skin reacts in a way that sends shivers down your spine, your breath may hitch and you might curl your toes but it's when the water falls down your body when it's hot… The feeling, it surrounds you. It's magical," she winks.

"I don't even know what's come over me! I mean… I have cold showers and they every now and again but lately I feel like a ticking time bomb... like, boom!" Brittany explains, making an explosion gesture with her hands.

"Hold up," Santana straightens up to glare at Brittany, furrowing her brows and waving a finger in front of her. "Are you trying to tell me that you've never gotten yourself off?"

"_Huh?" _Brittany replies with a scowl, genuinely unfamiliar with the term.

"You know, blowing off some steam? Having a night in with the girls?" Santana tries to get the message across but Brittany looks at her as if she had overdosed on vitamin D.

"Who?" Brittany leans back and remains to look at Santana quizzically, who mirrors her expression.

"Oh lord. Brittany, have you ever… _masturbated?"_ As soon as Santana says the word, Brittany turns an angry shade of red so bright that Santana is positive she can see steam rise from Brittany's head.

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph! You poor girl!" Santana covers her mouth in shock.

"Is it that bad?" Brittany begins to worry judging from Santana's reaction.

"Yes!... No!" Santana whispers loudly. "I'm just surprised! Woah!"

"I didn't really have to because I never felt that way about something before." Brittany replies. Santana rubs her eyes, sitting straight up on the bed and facing Brittany.

"Honey, you really need to let yourself go if you're feeling like this." Santana clicks her tongue and folds her arms. "You just need to have the right ingredients', that's all."

"Ingredients'?" Brittany raises an eyebrow causing Santana to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing.

"Yeah…" Santana nods her head. "You need something to start you off, like, something to think about during the time for when it comes..." Santana sniggers at the pun but Brittany doesn't catch on. Despite it being well into the morning and both girls having gone with barely any sleep, the subject creates a buzz between the two as they play off one another. "I'm gonna help you out a little, but you will have to figure out the rest yourself." Santana tells her. She shifts up in the bed until her back his leaning against the headboard, opens hers legs and pats the sheet in the space in front of her as a gesture to Brittany. "Sit here, with your back facing me," Santana says. Brittany twirls a strand of hair between her fingers and narrows her eyes, still shaken from her nightmare. "_Trust me?" _Santana asks of her, smiling warmly and after a couple of seconds of debating, Brittany scoots across the bed and in between Santana's legs, facing the opposite wall with the window. She finds Santana looking at her in the reflection of the wall mirror who rests her hands on each of Brittany's knees as if she was asking for approval and Brittany nods back.

"Now I need you to relax first of all," Santana says, keeping their eye contact. Brittany takes a deep breath and slowly exhales out of her mouth. She feels a lot safer this time, she can see what is happening and she could easily move away if she felt at all uncomfortable.

Santana guides her hands across Brittany's pyjamas to her shoulders and begins to massage her gently. Brittany swallows hard but can't help shutting her eyes as the muscles around her neck become loosened.

"You're so tense…" Santana whispers deeply and it causes Brittany to straighten her posture a little. The sensation is new to Brittany; it causes the hairs on her arms to shoot up a hundred times over whenever Santana applies pressure on a tender spot but it's definitely what she needs. "How does that feel?" Santana's voice is hoarse as she watches Brittany in the mirror whose eyes are shut tightly with concentration. She moves her hands closer to Brittany's neck but makes sure she doesn't go past the fabric and begins rubbing harder.

"Mmm, s'good." Brittany mumbles and cranes her neck forward to allow Santana more access with her hands. Santana smirks at Brittany's reaction and it encourages her to become more adventurous.

"Alright," Santana begins. "You're going to go home and when the time is right," Santana stops massaging Brittany's shoulders causing her mutter in disapproval. She scrapes her nails down Brittany's back to her tail bone, making Brittany shudder. "You're going to think about me," Santana states as she circles her hands around Brittany's waist and leans her chin on Brittany's right shoulder. "And you're going to vision me, like this."

Brittany slowly opens her eyes again and watches Santana watching her in the mirror as before. Santana begins to rotate her thumbs on Brittany hips similarly to the way she did in her dream but only this time, Santana was a lot tenderer. Brittany's heart rate begins to speed up when she finds the motion pleasurable and her breaths become a little shorter but it's the way that Santana looks at her that really riles Brittany up the most. Her dark chocolate eyes look as sweet as they sound yet her gaze becomes predatory again, animalistic. Just like the night with the feather and it arouses Brittany.

"You're going to picture my hands on you," Santana moves her right hand to Brittany's collar bone and starts to trace the outline lightly above the fabric. "touching you," Santana's words return to a whisper again as she deliberately breaths down the side of Brittany's neck creating goose bumps across her skin.

"Now think of my touches as kisses," Santana dares as she brings both hands to the hem of Brittany's neckline. Brittany loses the grip of reality when she pictures Santana's words; as if Santana was trailing kisses across her collar bone. She grabs and twists the bed sheet in her fists as Santana's hands travel down the middle of Brittany's chest to her navel. "I might nibble a little; I might even use my tongue." Santana teases while watching Brittany in the mirror who completely blind with pleasure.

Brittany murmurs out incoherent phrases as an intense tingling begins to grow in her lower abdomen and she feel her legs begin to twitch. Every touch, every caress from Santana is magnified sending Brittany into oblivion as she grabs the bed sheets tighter.

"I want you to look at me, Brittany. Open your eyes and look at me." Santana demands in a rare velvety tone. Brittany obeys and opens her eyes that are now heavy with lust and finds that Santana's face is a similar picture as she works her hands on Brittany.

Santana trails her right hand back up her torso slowly before cupping Brittany's breast over the fabric, causing Brittany to catch her breath again. She struggles to maintain composer as Santana begins to tease her, breathing down her neck every now and again while she kneads her chest.

Santana looks at their reflection with hazy eyes and watches as Brittany bites and licks her lips and the way her face melts into small satisfied smiles every now and again. Individual blonde strands of hair sticks to Brittany's neck where Santana's hot breath lingers, and she wants nothing more to do than brush it aside and kiss all the way down Brittany's jaw.

"What do you want me to do, Brittany?" Santana asks as she brings her hand back down to Brittany's waist.

"I want you to touch me." Brittany whispers, closing her eyes as she soaks up each second of each touch.

"Where?" Santana's right hand next travels down to Brittany's upper thighs and she begins to draw question marks with her index finger, making Brittany bite her tongue.

"_Everywhere_," Brittany sighs and begins to become inpatient as Santana teases her body.

"As you wish," Santana watches herself in the mirror as her fingers trail lightly across between Brittany's thighs.

As soon as Santana presses down on her, Brittany drops her head back onto Santana's shoulder and holds on to Santana's thighs at each side of her. A small moan escapes her lips but it's enough to fill Santana's own desires. Santana picks up a rhythm as she manipulates the area that Brittany wants her most and watches the way Brittany begins to curl her toes, feels her grip tighten on her thighs and how a sheen of sweat glows around her skin.

"Look at me," Santana asks for a final time and Brittany turns her head to face Santana whose face is only inches apart. She looks up to her with hooded lids while Santana continues to massage her through the fabric.

Santana takes her own bottom lip between her teeth while she looks at Brittany's; full, red and begging to be kissed. She wishes for nothing more than for her lips to touch Brittany's in that moment and is slightly encouraged when she doesn't turn away and instead, looks at Santana with the same craving expression. They catch each other's heated sighs as they look into each other's eyes under a different kind of light.

The moment is perfect. The two teenage girls mould into one as they bathe in each other's ecstasy. Santana can see in her eyes that Brittany wants the kiss just as much as she does and not even a trace of doubt is present in her face.

"Santana,"

"Yes," Santana answers as if she is giving Brittany all the consent in the world to do whatever she pleases. Without another word, Santana draws nearer to Brittany who doesn't flinch and all she can think about is how this was their moment and Brittany responds by closing her eyes and preparing for the next couple of seconds, should it last a split of a second or ten minutes.

Santana holds Brittany close to her as they inch closer to each other at an unbearable pace; making sure that she is careful with every move. They linger millimetres apart as their hot breath bouncing off each other's skin and Brittany waits for Santana's lips to press against hers.

Seconds count into the tens and twenties and Brittany begins to wonder what is taking Santana so long. Santana stiffens immediately and leans back as if she had forgotten where she was.

Brittany opens her eyes to find Santana's expression completely altered and nothing like it was a minute ago. Her face is blank but her eyes dart around aimlessly as if she was trying gather what was actually happening and before Brittany can get a breath in, Santana darts to the other end of the bed and covers her mouth with her hands.

"_Love is false, love is a pedestal, setting you up for your heart only to be broken so you can fall back down again.."_

Santana cowers into herself while panic begins to build up inside her as she hears her mother's glassy voice replay over and over again in her head. Even though she's more turned on than a teenage boy playing Call Of Duty and wants nothing more to give Brittany what she wants, in the final moments leading up to their kiss, it was as if her mind backfired a reprogrammed itself to remember what she only grew up knowing what her mother told her.

But her mother was wrong, she barely even has a heart to begin with to know what being in love feels like and yet the thought lingers in the back of her mind. What if she's right?

"I'm sorry… I can't." Santana says shakily and watches as Brittany's face changes from being overwhelmingly animated, almost cartoon like, to being downright devastated. The worst thing is that Santana can't even explain as to why she backed away but the feeling of dread dawns up on her when she takes her mother's words into consideration. The word 'feelings' never sat well in Santana's vocabulary and she even used to frown up on people who claimed to have them, but now she was putting her hands on a girl who she had declared to love, who she made promises to and who was sitting opposite her with a face on the brink of rejection. Why now? Why was Santana faltering now after all that they had been through.

"No…" Santana breaths out, trying to boggle her mind to find the right thing to say.

"No?" Brittany repeats her. "Santana, wh-what are y-you doing?" Brittany stutters, growing more vexed as time progresses.

What if the school finds out? What if when she walks down the halls of McKinley High, people whisper derogative phrases or calls her names like 'dyke' in spite of her orientation. What if her mom finds out that she was in love with a girl? Would she ever forgive Santana?

Santana lifts her gaze up to Brittany again and like every time she looks at her, she is captivated by her beauty. Brittany is angelic when she laughs, when she cries and even when she looks the way she does now as she holds on to tears. _They were so close._ A single look from Brittany and it can send Santana's skin crawling in the best way possible. Santana knows how she feels about Brittany; she meant what she said after the night of Quinn's party, but is it a two way street like she hopes?

"You're so beautiful," Santana whispers, almost drunk from their encounter. Brittany blushes a little but is frowns in confusion from Santana's erratic behaviour.

Santana looks at her with pleading eyes, hoping that she can prove her mother wrong when she says that love is false.

"Do you love me?" Santana asks her, her voice is fragile and uncertain.

Brittany throws the sheets back over her lap as she shifts uncomfortably while Santana watches her, searching for any ounce of conflict in her face.

"Uh… I. Um, I think so?" Brittany answers honestly and Santana can't help but feel the gut sensation that she is about to hear something that she doesn't want to hear.

"Why? Why do you _think_ that you do?" Santana asks. Brittany takes a deep breath and picks at her finger nails, a trait that Santana picked up on whenever Brittany found difficulty in explaining something.

"I mean… I think you're so pretty and… you make me smile a lot?" Brittany's answer is more like a question as if she was asking that what she was saying was the right thing to say. Santana nods her head, encouraging her to continue. "I trust you and I think about you a lot. And sometimes you do things that make me feel really good inside and good about myself. Like, when you smile… I can't help but smile. But when you cry, I want to cry like we are the same person. And that just there, I want to feel that with you because like you said… It was magic," Santana leans up against her bedroom wall and listens with an unreadable expression. "I don't know what else to say, I feel safe with you and I'm glad we met." Brittany shrugs and moves on to playing with a loose thread from the cuff of her one-piece.

Santana stays silent for a moment as she keeps deep in thought before she realises why she's so afraid and why she backed away from Brittany at the last minute.

"You need to get professional help," Santana insists coldly as she raises her chin to face the ceiling, she can't look at Brittany in that moment because she knows that her words would sting her.

"_Excuse _me?" Brittany asks, surprised as Santana's words burn like hot steel. Santana closes her eyes to fight off any unwanted tears from falling down her cheeks as she takes a deep breath.

"You need to get professional help, Brittany." Santana repeats. "I can't help you get better on my own." She confesses.

"I… I don't understand?" Brittany frowns but Santana just shakes her head, refraining from showing any sort of emotion.

"No, you don't." Santana agrees.

"Why would you even say that?" Santana just rubs her eyes with her hands and takes a deep breath.

"Brittany, if I asked you to forget about me and forget about everything that happened over these past few months, would you do it?" The pain in Santana's voice from such thought betrays her calm composure.

"If you asked me to, I guess? But, I wouldn't be particularly happy about it." Brittany replies and it's like another kick in the gut for Santana. "Wh-what is this about Santana? I, I don't know what's going on?"

"So you wouldn't fight for me?"

"I don't know? Would you want me to?" Brittany raises her voice, the vagueness startles her but Santana decides that enough has already been confirmed.

"I think you should go," Santana announces, dropping her chin to her knees. "I'm tired," Brittany looks at her in disbelief but doesn't hesitate to argue with her.

"You know what, Santana?" Brittany rolls out of the bed and advances to the window and budges the hinge up roughly. "You say that I need professional help but you have so much anger inside of you that you don't know whether you're coming or going. Even _I_ can see that. So maybe _you_ should be talking to someone about it." She states callously and waits for a moment to see if Santana replies but she is sorely disappointed. With nothing left to say, she jumps onto Santana's ledge and climbs out onto the naked oak leaving Santana curled up and bitter in the corner of her bed.

* * *

><p>Santana sits in the same spot for the best part of an hour, motionless although her head races with thoughts of denial. She doesn't even feel the harsh bitter wind that invades her room as she concludes what she has feared all along.<p>

Santana wasn't afraid of the fact that yes, she was attracted to women and maybe even only woman. She was afraid that her mother may never speak to her again if she finds out but that wasn't what shakes Santana the most. She made a promise to Brittany to help her get better and she was sticking with that promise. What really grates down on Santana is that because of who Brittany is and what she has, she may never be able to love Santana the way Santana loved her. Tears of rejection sting at Santana's eyes as she replays Brittany's description of a typical text-book crush and nothing more then scolds herself for being so selfish about it. Brittany has Asperger's syndrome and that was never going to go away and she may never be capable of ever feeling something as beautiful but so damn heartbreaking as what being in love feels like; no matter how much Santana tries to fix her. But Santana can't just sit there and let her doubts win. She can't sit there and be the ignorant little girl that she was brought up to be.

She finally gathers herself to her feet and creeps across her floor to shut her window in an attempt fight off the harsh, wailing wind. It was overcast outside and something tells Santana that tomorrow things were going to change. They would have to. Screw what her mother told her in the past about love and fate and screw the stereotypes against people like Brittany; tomorrow is a new beginning.

Santana was going to make Brittany Pierce fall head over heels in love with her.

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter XI<em>

_**Hope you enjoyed!  
>And I promise some upcoming fluff as well a little addition to the Glee club... :P <strong>_


	12. Chapter XII

**__**_[AN] Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and I wish you a happy new year! Take care, :)_

**_CHAPTER XII_**

Brittany idly stares up at her ceiling from her bed, counting the seconds as they tick by at a sluggish rate. She watches as the morning light gradually fills out in her room to let her know that the new day is finally approaching. Her eyes burn with tiredness, even though she couldn't bring herself to fall asleep again and as the deprivation kicks in, she finds herself feeling rather giddy as she hums out small, mindless tunes in her bed. She finally turns her head to make a note of the time - the rest of the night had gone by at an incredibly slow pace so she is relieved when she finds that she's finally able to get up and go and cause a racket in the kitchen, making breakfast without her parents complaining that it was too early. She hurriedly dashes out of her bed and slips into her baby blue robe before she rushes downstairs to crack eggs and dust the kitchen floor with flour.

* * *

><p>Santana lifts her head heavily from the table to take another bite of her cereal and yawns extensively in the process. She too, also failed to get back to sleep after Brittany left so instead, she gathered situations in her head of what she could say to or do to make Brittany forgive her. She slurps obnoxiously away at the milk that remains in the bowl, wiping her mouth with her pyjama sleeve and glances across the opposite end of the table where her mother sits hunching her shoulders, wearing dark circles around her eyes as she picks away at her fruit bowl. Santana can only look at her with pity and decides to leave the table without a word at all; there was nothing for her to say.<p>

* * *

><p>Brittany rubs her eyes vigorously while she stabs away at her pancakes with her fork with a little more force than necessary. The lack of sleep has definitely had an impact, but more so, her night with Santana is all she can think about.<p>

"You okay there, honey?" her mother asks as she butters some toast on the kitchen countertop. Brittany licks the strawberry jam from her fingers and yawns.

"Tired," she replies. Grace purses her lips and takes a seat next to Brittany at the pine table.

"Well, your father's washing up, so if you'd like some girl talk, I'm right here." Grace nudges her daughter, causing Brittany to giggle. Both of them take a couple of more bites of their breakfast before Brittany turns to her mother with her mouth full.

"Do you…" Brittany mumbles as she chews down the rest of the pancakes. "Do you love dad?" she asks seriously. Grace blinks a couple of times then snorts at her daughter's worried expression.

"Of course I do!" Grace chuckles. "What made you ask that question?"

"I just need to know these things…" Brittany nods and Grace narrows her eyes.

"Why are you whispering?" she asks. Brittany licks the remains of jam from her plate and takes a swig of her squeezed orange juice but then shrugs.

"Why, I mean, how did you know? How did you find out? Wh-what did you feel? I know it's not like my love of science, especially from the Mesosphere all the way to the Exosphere. It's a different kind. Like… um. Well, I don't know really," Brittany replies sadly. Grace smiles at her reassuringly and squeezes her shoulder.

"When I met your dad, it was definitely _not_ love at first sight," Grace begins, with a giggle at the memory. "It was 1981 and he was working in a stinking shoe factory at the age of seventeen; he had been kicked out of school for being trouble and he sure did love the ladies." Brittany watches her mother as she rests her chin on her hand. "I was at school but it was the summer before my senior year and we first met at a friend of mine's party. All the girls knew that James was the 'bad boy' and we knew he had a reputation but no one could ever deny those deep blue, puppy like eyes and his bright blonde ruffled hair, and his smile was so cheeky that it left girls weak at the knees, it still does!" Grace begins to gush and Brittany listens with a wide grin. "But I wasn't having any of it and if I'm being completely honest, I thought I was too good for him. Yet at this party he couldn't take his eyes off me, despite there being many beautiful girls. And at the end of the night, he approached me and asked for my name." Grace moves from her chair to lift the plates from the table and takes them over to the sink before plopping them in the scalding water.

"I didn't tell him of course and with that, I walked away. Yet for some reason, as the summer progressed he kept popping up at random parties and he would never pay attention to any other girl but me. Then at the very end of each night, he would come up to me and try and guess my name, but only once. If he was wrong, I walked away."

"But what happened if he was right?" Brittany asks as Grace re-joins her at the table.

"I agreed that if he guessed my name right, then I would accept his offer for him to take me out on a date. He told me that he was never good with names but if he guessed my name correctly, he would promise never to forget it.

"_Well…"_Brittany edges her mother on eagerly in a whisper.

"Well, on the last week of summer vacation, a bunch of us decided to go on a camping trip to Lake Powell in Page and he obviously had to tag along." Grace rolls her eyes playfully and Brittany giggles. "We didn't talk much through the whole week but on the final night as we all surrounded the campfire he came and sat next to and he said '_I'll guess your name one more time. If I'm wrong, then I'll leave you alone for good but if I get it correctly, then I'm yours completely,"_ Grace smiles bashfully as she reminisces and Brittany mirrors her expression.

"_And did he guess your name right?_" Brittany whispers again. Grace looks at her daughter and winks.

"All I'm going to say is, don't give up on finding love, because one day it'll come to you and you'll definitely know when it does." Grace smiles and squeezes Brittany's shoulder one last time before lifting herself from her chair again and exiting the kitchen into the hall, leaving Brittany to contemplate what she has just been told.

* * *

><p>The sun didn't make an appearance for once, it was hidden from the angry clouds that hovered dangerously low this morning and it reflected in Brittany's mood; she wants to break out and go on the way she was going on before but after last night, a bittersweet taste has been left in her mouth and a part of her wants to shake Santana to tell her that there is something more deep in there, and the other part wants to push her away for not believing it so. So she decides to do what she always does when she's unable to express her thoughts vocally.<p>

She begins raking through the shoe boxes that have been left for the dust to settle on at the end of her bed and pulls out a note pad from one and a ball point pen from the other and jumps to lie on the foot of her bed. She has about thirty minutes to express her thoughts and she's determined to jot every single emotion down. She scratches the pen across the page and sticks out her tongue in concentration but stops after the first two words; '_Dear Santana,'_ she glides her hand through her hair and stares at the page with a frown. The page is blank and so is her mind and it infuriates her.

"Dear Santana…" she says aloud, repeating what she had just written. But, no, there's still nothing.

A sudden crash against her window rips Brittany's attention from the page as she jolts up from fright. She dashes quickly to the source of the noise and opens her window only to find Santana sitting on the ledge opposite her. Brittany furrows her brows in confusion and folds her arms unimpressed while she waits for an explanation.

"I'm totally sorry about that, I threw the acorn to get your attention but the wind must have…" Santana trails off but she sees that Brittany is not amused. "I was waiting for you but you didn't show up so I…" Santana watches Brittany whose lips are in a tight form as she holds a less than impressed expression which doesn't shift, letting Santana know that those final moments of last night were definitely not forgotten. "I'm so sorry, Brittany," she repeats a few moments later, only this time she sincerely means it. "I shouldn't have treated you like that, it wasn't fair." Her words are heavy and she pulls her eyes away from Brittany in shame as the wind tussles her hair, causing the dark strands to whip against her face.

"How long have you been sitting out here for?" Brittany replies monotonously, completely disregarding Santana's apology.

"Long enough to get frostbite," Santana quietly laughs at the backhanded joke but again, Brittany's face doesn't budge. She pulls a string of hair that gets caught in between her lips and looks over to Brittany desperately who only offers her a cold glare before guilt rips through her.

"I made a promise to you Brittany," Santana says calmly, letting the wind pick up her voice and carry it across to where Brittany stands in her own room. "I'm not going to break it," she swears, causing Brittany bite down on her bottom lip in doubt. "Let's do this again, be my best friend and I'll be yours, I'll wear your onsies and the next time you make a duck out of origami I promise I won't call it a swan even though I'm sure it was 'cause it's neck was like... humongous" Brittany blinks a couple of times and a smile threatens to tease her lips as Santana separates her thumb and index finger in an attempt to re-measure the duck by memory, but she remains composed. "I'll let you draw as many glow in the dark dots over my body as much as you want. Hell, you can map the whole galaxy out on me if you really want to." Santana swings her legs and drums them against the wooden panelling of her house. "Then at least if you do forgive me and it makes me self-combust with happiness, at least I'll be your own personal supernova."

Brittany looks her up and down and clears her throat but Santana continues.

"I'll learn to climb this damn tree and we can even build a stupid little tree-house in the summer and we can have sleep overs. We can get drunk off the most expensive champagne from my mom's wine cellar, wake up with sore heads and remove the crickets from each other's hair," Santana strokes the branch next to her, lifting the ice that latches on to the bark. "And the termites from our underwear," Santana shivers at the thought but Brittany covers her mouth with amusement.

"And if one of us hasn't rolled over and fallen out of the tree completely, I'll take you to the lake every time the stars are out and we can stay for as long as you want, I'll even bring my bathing suit and towel and risk getting hypothermia if it makes you happy." Santana sighs and shrugs her shoulders. She wants nothing more in the world for Brittany to believe her but judging from her expression, it's going to take a lot of convincing.

"I'll sit out here all day and risk myself getting frostbite on my nose until it turns black and falls off if it means I get to keep my promise," Santana insists before hanging her head to watch her feet swing limply. "I love you Brittany, you're my best friend, you're my only friend and I would be crazy to throw that away,"

Brittany watches, trying not to give into Santana's apology, yet she fails as she cracks a smile and a little giggle escapes her lips when she sees Santana pouting so childishly. She looks so desperate, but Brittany likes it.

Santana whips her head back and up before a large grin spreads across her own face.

"Does this mean that I'm forgiven?" Santana asks hopefully, but Brittany just purses her lips and shrugs, mimicking Santana's previous actions by trailing her finger across a frozen tree branch.

"I'm mad at you…" Brittany replies and folds her arms tighter to show that Santana wasn't getting away that easily. "But you're still so hot." Santana stares with wide eyes for a moment before blushing. Even after months, Brittany is still able to catch Santana off guard, but then again, two can play at that game.

"So this means you're walking with me to school?" Santana's voice is sprinkled with sweet delight but Brittany bites down on her tongue and holds her ground.

"Don't count on it," Brittany replies harshly but with a hint of playfulness. Santana narrows her eyes and stares her down.

"Fine, I get it. You only want me for my body," Santana begins to tease. "I've seen the way you look at me, that first day when I practically saw you _drooling_ after I came out of the shower and how you couldn't stop staring at my legs when I wore my Cheerio's uniform. I don't blame you, I mean, I'm the hottest girl at school but honey, If I'm just a booty call, let me know and I'll strip down naked in front of you right now, despite this horrendous and incompatible weather, and freeze my tits off while you take a mental picture and go away to release all that pent up sexual frustration," she finishes casually and Brittany bites her bottom lip again at the thought. It is tempting not to jump at the chance to say the least but takes a few moments to reply anyway.

"I'll see you outside in twenty," Brittany looks straight into Santana's eyes and holds her gaze for a moment before shutting the hatch to her window and walking away casually as she always did.

"That's my girl," Santana whispers, before shivering in the cold, wondering why the hell she thought she could sit outside for so long and leans back, falling inside with a grin, drunk from Brittany's acceptance to her apology. That last look she gave Santana as well, there was something there, something that sparks a fire inside Santana that excites her. It was that look saying '_I could undress you with my eyes if I really wanted to,_' and Santana would, she would drop the towel within a heartbeat.

Santana closes her eyes for a moment as she beams and flails her arms. One day Brittany would be hers and it excites her almost to the point of self-combustion but luckily Santana opens her eyes to be greeted by her sour faced mother looking down on her with disapproval.

"Get up," Anita shakes her head.

* * *

><p>The whispers haven't stopped, but at least it's Santana who is receiving the majority of unwanted attention. Brittany clings to the walls like usual and Santana walks right beside her looking straight forward but with wary eyes nonetheless. They are right in thinking that yesterday would be the worst day of the lot and at least Santana didn't get a slushy facial, but then again, they haven't been at McKinley for more than ten minutes yet.<p>

"I'm going to audition for the Glee Club today at lunch if you want to come and watch me," Brittany whispers as they approach her first class. Santana grimaces before turning to Brittany but with a kind smile.

"Sure! I'd love to watch you meddle with a bunch of misfits that have serious staring issues, like if you sing one note out of line, a laser will shoot out of their _humongous _demonic pupils and decapitate you faster than you can sing _You Suffer_ by Napalm Death… ugh." Santana shivers at the thought but Brittany just rolls her eyes.

"So will you come?" Brittany asks again.

"Sure, whatever, they're like spiders anyway; they're more scared me than I am them. I fucking hate spiders too." Santana scratches away at her scalp uncomfortably with the thought as Brittany shakes her head with an amused grin.

"I'll see you at lunch?"

Santana nods and pulls the furry tassels that hang from Brittany's bear shaped hat, bringing her forward for an unexpected hug, completely ignoring the onlookers in the hallway. Santana places her right hand on the back of Brittany's hair and stokes it, smoothing down the blonde locks gently.

"I meant what I said," Santana whispers. "Don't forget that." Brittany closes her eyes and nods into Santana's shoulder before pulling back and meeting Santana's dark chocolate eyes halfway.

"Of course I won't forget," Brittany replies. "I'm an elephant and you're a mouse; I'll never forget the affect you have on me." She smiles sweetly before turning her back to Santana, walking into class. Santana stands with a half confused, half dorky smile and turns giddily until she finds Coach Sylvester shooting her the death glare from across the hall. _Oh shit…_

* * *

><p>"What in the name of Satan could convince you to decide to quit the Cheerio's? ARE YOU PREGNANT!" Sue spits from behind her office desk, clenching Santana's cheer uniform in her fist that had been dumped in a bag on her chair the previous day.<p>

"What? NO!" Santana yelps from the seat opposite but makes sure to keep her tail between her legs.

"You do realise that we have no chance of winning Nationals now…" Sue puts her head in her palms and shakes her head devastated. "Seven consecutive years down the drain." She groans.

"It doesn't make me happy anymore, I'm sorry! I'm sure Quinn will make a great cheer captain," Santana replies.

"Quinn has about as much control in her body as a baby on stilts…" Sue groans while rubbing her temples and Santana can only exhale slowly, making sure she doesn't make any wrong moves to set Sue Sylvester into bat-shit mode.

"But your new friend on the other hand, I'm sure she would be a great addition to the team…" Sue raises her head up with the mischievous grin.

Santana frowns at the mention of Brittany, she knows that the coach had sparked an interest, but why she did is a complete puzzle to her.

"Why are you so interested in Brittany? You would never give any of the other girls a second look at school, even for those who really wanted it," Santana questions her, propping her elbows on the desk. Sue smirks and rises from her chair to walk over to her file cabinet.

"When a new student transfers to the school, Santana, it's important that we look at their resume and background," Sue announces, flicking her fingers through countless pages of paper. "And when Brittany Pierce came along, I couldn't help but notice one thing… Ah!" Her fingers stop as she pulls out a cardboard file and brings it back to her desk. "The staff knows about her condition, it's mandatory." Santana listens with narrows eyes and watches the coach as she guides her fingers down Brittany's resume. "I found that my eyes fell straight to this following paragraph…" Her fingers stop as she fixes her glasses to get a better look before she reads out: _From ages 3 to 12, Brittany took a keen interest in ballet dancing and attended Spisak Dance Academy, then advanced to Arthur Murray at the age of 7 and was then offered to go to Ballet Tucson through her teenage years before she declined. Her oldest trainer, Mr. Fotheringham, quotes, "Brittany was always advanced in her years; a quick and very intelligent learner who has worked hard to perfect her body yet shows effortlessness in her face. I am very honoured to work with such an incredible talent and I have no doubt that she will be a valued addition at Princeton Ballet School when she is older."_

Sue slams down the document on her desk and folds her arms with a smirk but Santana frowns, completely befuddled by the idea of Brittany and dance.

"I think she'll be a valuable addition to the Cheerios, don't you think?" Sue muses.

"Yeah, well, good luck with that…" Santana mumbles, crossing her arms.

"Why, thank you! Now get the hell out my office," Sue orders before spinning around in her chair, clutching Brittany's file to her chest. Santana glares at the back of the desk chair for a good moment before strutting out of the door, making sure to leave a bang. Then as if things couldn't get any worse, she walks straight into Quinn, who stands outside the door and seems to have been there the whole time.

"Where you eavesdropping?" Santana whispers, grapping the hem of Quinn's Cheerio skirt and pulls her to the girls locker rooms before locking the door behind them. "What did you hear?" Santana demands. Quinn just raises her hands in defence and utters out nonsensical, half-words.

"The coach called me to discuss the new cheer routine, we've had to do a complete one-eighty now you're not a part of it," Quinn replies, taking a seat on the old, tattered waiting bench. "I just arrived when you stormed out like you usually do, what was that about anyway?" Quinn asks but Santana shakes her head.

"Nothing…" Santana lies and the untruthfulness is present in her voice. Quinn sighs and presses her thumb and index fingers against her forehead.

"Santana." Quinn rises from the bench but Santana doesn't want to hear it.

"What do you want, Quinn?" Santana raises her voice, balling up her fists. "What gives you the right to threaten me about my reputation and about my own fucking mother then come back to school and act as if nothing ever happened?" she seethes through grinded teeth. "You're a lot of things, Quinn, but for someone who I once considered my _friend_, I never knew that you could be such a manipulative, malicious and egotistical bitch!" The venom begins to pour out of Santana's mouth and all Quinn can do is watch with wide eyes as Santana recollects what happened the night of the party.

"I don't give a _shit_ what you say about my friendship with Brittany because she's more of a person and more wholesome than your tainted ass will ever be. You might say I barely know her but the truth is I know a hell of a lot more about her than I do with you. Who _are_ you, Quinn?" Santana shakes her head, desperate to find some sort of justification behind Quinn's intentions but she can't. "Please, enlighten me because right now, you're nothing more than a damned object getting in my way," Santana slams before turning away but Quinn grabs her wrist and turns her back around causing Santana to retaliate and push her away. "Don't touch me!" Santana warns as she tries to free her wrist from Quinn's grip. "I swear I'll…"

"What you gonna do, Santana?" Quinn bites back. "Threaten to hit me again? Or maybe you'll actually do it and you can leave this room, feeling so _proud_ of yourself for lifting your hands to someone else out of anger."

Santana freezes up on hearing that word again, _anger. _Brittany brought it up when describing Santana last night and now again only this time it was Quinn. Santana grinds her teeth more aggressively and tightens her grasp on Quinn's wrist as she does on hers.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Santana's voice breaks mid-sentence as another spurt of anger jolts through her.

"Because I don't want you ending up like me!" Quinn shouts back, pushing Santana back and pinning her against the door as she tries to fight her off again. "I've seen you and Brittany together and I've seen how happy she makes you!"

"Then why are you _here? _Why can't you just leave us alone?_"_ Santana begs, trying to wriggle herself out. Quinn finally loosens her grip on Santana's wrists but not completely; she looks down at the ex-cheerleader who now hangs her head down with exhaustion.

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry," Quinn replies, a lot more gently this time. Santana arches an eyebrow and looks back up at her but Quinn's face shows that she isn't taking Santana for a fool.

"I don't live under a rock; I know about the shit time your mom has been giving you, I knew from your face during practice that you were no longer enjoying it anymore and that you'd hold on to anything that would make your mother proud. But she just craps on every effort you try to make." Quinn says, making sure the Santana can't free herself from her grip. "The coach screams down your throat every day so you'll improve but it actually lowers your self-esteem and you're pretty much perfect at what you do anyway," she explains and Santana begins to listen yet she is bitter behind the truth in Quinn's words.

"And you miss your dad, more than anything," Quinn whispers, causing Santana to close her eyes and take a deep breath. Quinn hits the jackpot with that one.

" And I saw your face when you looked at Brittany on the ground on Saturday night. She means a lot to you." Santana bites her lips and nods but doesn't open her eyes as a single tear forms in the corner of her lid before it cascades down the side of her cheek and falls onto the fabric of her dress before it evaporates into nothing.

"I'm sorry that I was just another burden giving you a hard time because you don't deserve it. That's all," Quinn apologises genuinely before stepping out of the way for Santana to push past her, hurt from the truth yet left disorientated from her frame of mind.

Santana listens as the locker room doors squeak open and shut again as Quinn exits silently, leaving Santana with a lot to think about. Quinn was right, and so was Brittany. There isn't one day that Santana goes through where she doesn't feel angry at some point. Whether it be her mom, her dad, the coach, Quinn or feeling angry at herself for not doing something about it.

Santana unclenches her fist and raises her head to face the door.

"I gave Brittany my word," she whispers to herself and slowly walks across to the exit and walks back into the hallway again.

* * *

><p>Like yesterday, everything is in slow motion, only this time her eyes no longer stick to the floor. Instead, they hover across each and every student who stares back and even though Santana can feel her back burn with the attention that's focused upon her, she keeps her chin high and her back straight. She may no longer rule the school and countless rumours may spread about her like the plague, but who were they to judge? Just because Santana judged and humiliated in the past, doesn't make two wrongs a right. Santana finds that facing the crowd actually feels better and the pace soon begins to quicken. That is until a full-bodied force shoves her into the side of a locker making the air in her lungs disintegrate as she holds her stomach, winded.<p>

"Oops! Sorry!" A lanky and rather greasy faced jock sniggers along with his friends. "I hope that your pills didn't fall out of your pocket!" They cackle as they walk past. Santana clenches her eyes shut in pain before opens them again with vengeance. _Oh hell no!_ Santana has enough, she marches over to the boy who pushed her and grabs his 'WMHS' jacket in her fists before pushing _him_ against the lockers this time.

"Now you listen to me," Santana spits, taking her right hand, grabbing the boys groin that causes him to wail out and squirm as his friends watch in the background with open jaws. "If you want keep your grape sized balls long enough to reproduce a nest of complaining, pus-ridden parasites just like yourself, then I suggest you and your friends back the hell off!" Santana threatens him. Santana may be doing something about her anger issues but there was no way that she was going to lose her fieriness; she was born with that superpower. "You understand?" The boy squeals out and nods while screwing up his face before Santana lets go. "I pity your girlfriend a lot, she's totally missing out!" Santana winks to the other boys, who stand staring, completely dumfounded.

She has never set foot in this office before; she always said it was for angry people who sat in the bathroom stall at lunch to come and spill on how they really felt and for people who were just too much of a hot mess to be walking around the school with the risk of their self-loathing becoming contagious and thus having to be contained in the counselling ward. Well, Santana guesses that she fits somewhere along the lines and so this is where she needs to be.

Santana's eyes trail across the brass door plaque that reads '_Miss Pillsbury – Guidance'_ and takes a deep breath before lightly knocking and stepping in. She is greeted by a petite woman with red fiery hair, a pine green sweatshirt with wide bush baby-like eyes. She looks surprised to see Santana standing before her but introduces herself politely. Santana takes a seat opposite her and breathes deeply.

"I need to make an appointment," Santana says.

* * *

><p>Brittany stares at the face of her watch and counts as the little ticks click in time with the beat of her heart. Lunch started twenty minutes ago and Santana is nowhere in sight. The Glee Club are unaware of Brittany's presence lingering just outside the door but it vexes her to think that she was close to finally being a part of something. Brittany just <em>needs<em> _her, _yet it looks as if it is just another lunch day in the corridor but just as Brittany is about to pull out her lunch, Santana comes skidding down the hall, trying not to trip over her faux leather knee high boot that match her white, tight fitted dress.

"I'm so sorry, Brittany. I got caught up with the coach; she would _not_ let me go!" Santana apologises breathlessly as she approaches Brittany. "Hi," she smiles once they're an arm's length away from each other and Brittany just sticks out her tongue playfully before wrapping her arms around Santana for a tight squeeze. Santana loves that fact that Brittany's a good five inches taller than her because whenever they hug like this; her head is perfectly nuzzled against her heart.

"I missed you," Brittany mumbles in the crook as Santana's neck. Santana grins before pulling back.

"Are you ready to go inside?" Santana asks and Brittany takes a double take towards the door.

"Oh! Oh… I was but now I'm not too sure, I think they already started." Brittany shrugs and slides down against the wall to the floor. "Maybe… Maybe we should just wait another day and go tomorrow… Yes! Go tomorrow. Tomorrow is good," Brittany nods to her before she continues to rake through her lunch bag but Santana bends to her knees and raises her gloved hand to tilt Brittany's chin back up gently.

"No," Santana refuses. "Something tells me that you can be one hell of a performer," She smiles tenderly and Brittany grimaces, trying to shake off such an compliment. "Now go in there and show them what you got. I'm right behind you." Santana brings her hand back down from Brittany's chin and links her pinkie with Brittany's.

The two girls enter the choir room warily but the ensemble is already carried away with their melody. It's the same group that Brittany had seen the first time she looked in and unsurprisingly, Rachel is standing in the front and centre, opening her mouth freakishly wide whenever she sings a high note. Wheelchair boy nods his head in beat with the tune as the Asian girls sits in his lap, hugging him affectionately. The black girl sings as well as Rachel if not stronger as they bat competitive glares across the room while Kurt shimmies along with the music, feeling every beat of the music.

"Oh my god, what trolls." Santana rolls her eyes as they stand just inside the doorway and Brittany nudges her in response.

"What is _she_ doing here?" The pitch from Rachel's voice is almost ear shattering and it catches Brittany off guard as Rachel begins to march across the room directly towards them. "I order Santana out right now!" Rachel fusses, pointing her finger to the exit. "Mr Schue! I thought she was banned?" Rachel snarls at Santana and Santana can only roll eyes.

"Calm down, Nancy Grace", Santana retorts, folding her arms.

"Wait… you were banned already?" Brittany turns to her with furrowed eyebrows.

"Kinda," Santana mumbles in response.

"Sure she was!" Rachel interrupts. "Last year she and Quinn Fabray joined Glee Club for a bet…" Rachel darts another accusing look at Santana, who just shrugs. "They played mind games with me… One time they stuck caviar in my underwear and the next morning they said that my ovaries were malfunctioning due to an irreparable dryness in my lower regions, among other things!" Rachel complains but Santana just bites her lip and holds her nose in an attempt to stop snorting out. "It's not funny,"

"Yes it is…" Santana sniggers.

"No it's not! I had to get a full pelvic examination!"

"Well, that's what you get for being so _naïve_." Santana defends herself.

"Okay, ladies!" A broad male vice interrupts the heated discussion as an older man, probably in his thirties with mousey brown, curly hair stands between them.

"Nice to see you still wearing vests, Mr Schue," Santana offers a cheerful smile but he rolls his eyes, as if he were to expect anything more to come out of Santana's mouth

"What are you doing here, Santana?" He asks tiredly. Santana strides to the centre of the room, brings Brittany along with her and presents her to the front of the class, proudly.

"This is my best friend Brittany!" She announces and a few of them, including Kurt greet her enthusiastically, others offer a warm nod and the rest, obviously Rachel Berry included, act indifferently as they mumble their hellos. "And she would like to audition for a place in the Glee club."

"Why should we believe you," Rachel retaliates, dusting off her checkered sweater in annoyance.

"Brittany's cool, she's in my biology class," Kurt grins at Brittany kindly.

Brittany bows shyly but grabs onto Santana's hand a lot tighter when she notices the rest of the class begin to divert their attention towards her.

"Perfect! Then show us what you got!" Mr Schue exclaims excitedly, taking a seat with the rest of the audience. Brittany quickly turns to Santana for condolence but Santana just squeezes her hand and winks at her.

"You'll be fine," Santana smiles before unlinking their hands. She moves to the side of the room and watches while holding her fingers crossed behind her back.

Brittany pauses for a moment to let herself bask in the alien atmosphere, it takes more than a couple of seconds but finally, she turns her head to the scruffy piano player who is dressed up in a second hand suit to whisper the song which she has chosen, before facing back to the audience with wondering eyes and tingling limbs. The other eyes are curious, leering and invading. She turns one last time to look at Santana before the piano arrangement starts and with one final reassuring look, Brittany takes a deep breath.

The pianist runs his hands across the keys to play out a song that had yet been rehearsed by the main choir, and as he delves deep into the song, no words are able to escape Brittany's mouth. She watches the Glee kids as they watch her, with their calculating and judging expressions and it discourages her completely. It takes her back to a time in her past when she was watching an intimate dance routine between two students in her dance class, a time when she never felt more isolated in her life.

The other students turn to look at each other quizzically while Brittany chokes on the first few words and Santana watches anxiously, biting her nails while hoping for Brittany to start singing.

Brittany swallows down hard and breathes out shakily before turning back to the pianist to mouth '_I'm sorry,' _and making a beeline for the exit while fallows close behind her.

"Wait, wait! Brittany!" Santana shouts after Brittany as they spill out into the hall way. Brittany shakes her head furiously while kicking herself over and over again for choking.

"I don't know what happened! Santana… I was so close! I… I, I got…Santana!" She grates angrily as she dips her head onto Santana's shoulder. Santana waits for a moment to let Brittany calm down before rubbing a hand over her back.

"Shh, it's okay, you still got time to go back in there?" Santana encourages her but Brittany shakes her head in defeat.

"No, listen," Santana tries again, taking Brittany's shoulders in her hands and gently pushes her back until they are making eye contact. "I know you have it in you so you can't just give up on the first fall, okay?" Brittany pouts but listens carefully. "Go back in there and if you feel nervous, imagine them all naked, and then they'll feel sillier than you." Santana smirks and all Brittany can do is shake her head"And if that doesn't work, look at me and sing the lyrics to me and only me, forget about everyone else in the room. It'll just be you, me and the music." Brittany bites her lip, struggling to give it another go but nods after a few moments. "That's my girl," Santana winks and takes her hand fully this time as they re-enter the choir room for the second time.

The Glee club is far less enthusiastic than it was the first time Brittany tried. But they sit patiently again, waiting for Brittany to sing her piece while Santana sits slap bang in the middle, in perfect view of Brittany.

She turns to the pianist the second time, giving his cue to proceed and play the song that he had keyed previously. Brittany closes her eyes and takes another deep breath and keeps them closed, waiting for moment to begin but before she knows it, she's singing out the lyrics to the song. She opens her mouth and a voice that has been hidden for only her ears in the past begins to sing out.

"_How many special people change? _

_How many lives are living strange?_

_Where were you while we were getting high?" _

Brittany begins to twiddle her fingers nervously as she gets off to a shaky start but as soon as she begins, there is no going back.

"_Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball. _

_Where were you while we were getting high?_"

She finally opens her eyes as her voice steadies out and becomes stronger and all Santana can do is think of how she sounds as crisp as the spring morning sun while pride washes across her face.

Brittany's eyes trail from the ground and straight to Santana's who sits looking completely awestruck, nodding her head to the beat and it gives Brittany the confidence to carry on.

"_Someday you will find me, caught beneath the landslide__. _

_In a champagne supernova in the sky._"

Santana watches the way her eyes gleam with life, like every lyric she sings she feels and means and it's as if in that moment, Brittany is untouchable, that no one can harm her or do her wrong. This is her moment and she doesn't look more at home the way she does when she looks and sings to Santana.

"_In a champagne supernova in the sky_".

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter XI<em>

**The song by Brittany is _Champagne __Supernova_ by Oasis.  
>Thanks again to Bekah for being a great beta, for the reviews and I hoped you enjoyed this chapter!<br>There may be another visit to the lake soon... :) **


	13. Chapter XIII

_[AN] Hey! Just wanted to happy new year to you all and sorry for not updating sooner, it's been a big week for all of us! And of course, thank you to all who are fallowing the story and to those who are reviewing, the feedback is always important to me. Thanks as well to my lovely beta, Bekah and I hope you all enjoy this chapter. :)_

**_CHAPTER XIII_**

* * *

><p><em>"Porphyria worshipped me; surprise<em>

_Made my heart swell, and still it grew_

_While I debated what to do._

_That moment she was mine, mine, fair,_

_Perfectly pure and good: I found_

_A thing to do, and all her hair_

_In one long yellow string I wound_

_Three times her little throat around,_

_And strangled her,"  
><em>

Brittany pauses after she reads out the last few words and darts her eyes across the classroom uncomfortably. The rest of the students stare aimlessly in their sheets, completely un-phased by the gruesome imagery that was being read out.

"Please carry on, Brittany." Her English teacher, an elderly woman with white, straw-like hair and beady brown eyes croaks up from her poem book. Brittany swallows slowly before her attention falls back on the crinkled page in her hand as her eyes graze over the words.

_"I… I am quite sure she felt no pain._

_As a shut bud that holds a bee,_

_I warily oped her lids: again_

_Laughed the blue eyes without a stain._

_And I untightened next the tress_

_About her neck; her cheek once more_

_Blushed bright beneath my burning kiss…_"

Brittany stops again and scrunches the sheet tight in her grasp, causing her teacher to become impatient.

"Is there a problem, Brittany?" She sighs out as she watches Brittany through her thick-lensed glasses. The rest of the class begins to take notice of her as she stares quizzically at the sheet.

"I don't understand?" Brittany begins to fuss. "If… If he loved her so much, then why would he want to kill her?" Brittany asks, genuinely curious. A few members of the class roll their eyes and click their tongues and Brittany can feel her cheeks begin to burn with embarrassment.

"Porphyria's lover was a psycho," a voice that isn't her teacher's replies and Brittany turns her head to find Quinn facing her from the desk beside her, rolling a pen between her fingers and chewing on the top. "During that time, it was frowned up on for someone of such a higher status like Porphyria to have an affair with a no good peasant boy. So he decided if society couldn't accept them together, then no one could have her… so he killed her," Quinn replies casually, clicking the pen with her thumb and smiles at Brittany who looks away immediately while she twiddles her own fingers in confusion.

Quinn arches an eyebrow when she finds Brittany wearing red festive mittens that cuddle her hands snuggly and realises that she doesn't think she's ever seen Brittany without a pair. Even at her party Brittany was better embalmed than bubble wrap.

"Are you ready to continue, Brittany?" The teacher asks dully with as much enthusiasm as Scrooge on Christmas Eve. Brittany purses her lips and frowns down at the page without a reply. Quinn watches from the table next to her and the way Brittany's eyes re-read the words over and over before a grimace forms on her face. Brittany swallows hard and tries to decipher the words to make some sort of justification but it only hurts her head and the class begin to groan and mumble impatiently as they wait.

"Uh…" She breaths out shakily, loosening the top button of her jacket when she finds the room to become increasingly hotter. The words on the page become mangled together and it makes Brittany dizzy as she feels the pairs of eyes on her increasingly grow. "Oh!" She jerks up randomly, making the boy - with pimples the size of minstrels - next to her jolt wide awake. Her cheeks grow to become the same colour as his acne ridden face after her spontaneous outburst, which is a common occurrence for Brittany whenever she feels under pressure and she ducks behind her sheet awkwardly. She turns her head to the boy for guidance but he's already dozing off again, completely uninterested by the subject.

"I'm stuck…" Brittany announces sheepishly and she can practically hear the classroom roll their eyes.

"It's stupid poetry, not rocket science," a boy shouts out and it's followed by giggles and a few claps here and there. Brittany begins to recognise the lump in her throat as a hot flush creeps down her neck, all the way down her arms and torso to her palms, causing them to sweat tremendously under the fabric of the gloves.

"That's enough, Mr. Hudson." The teacher clears her throat and Brittany shakes her head behind the sheet and closes her eyes. She prays for the class to be over any moment but almost like every day to Brittany, each minute counts as an hour. "Quinn, you seem like you know a lot about the poem, I suggest you sit next to Miss Pierce for the remainder of the period and put her on the right tracks while the rest of the class read the rest quietly to themselves."

Quinn takes another look a Brittany whose back is arched down to the table as she drops the sheet on top of her head hopelessly. Quinn almost feels bad for her; she is socially awkward _and_ academically challenged; what an unfortunate upbringing she must've had but at least she had her looks. Eventually, Quinn drags her chair next to Brittany, at the side of her desk before she removes the sheet from her head.

"You're not going to learn anything if you're face-planting the desk like that," Quinn says abruptly, trying to grab Brittany's attention but she doesn't move. "Especially with all the people sitting at this desk before and after you so I totally don't blame you for wanting to wear gloves all the time." Quinn rolls her tongue across her cheek and Brittany just offers a quick, hard-lines smirk. "This place is riddled with people who're crawling with all sorts of bacteria, just take a look at pizza boy next to you for example," Quinn nudges her and Brittany lifts her head to find the boy, completely comatose and drooling on his sheet. She turns around to Quinn who looks at his face with disgust before looking back to Brittany with a smile.

"That was mean," Brittany mumbles but Quinn just shrugs.

"So you're having trouble with the poem, yeah?" She asks and Brittany just sighs and shoots a glare at Finn.

"Yeah, totally sorry about my boyfriend, that was rude of Finn," Quinn apologises but it's hardly sincere. "If it makes you feel better, he thought that Africa was a country and that the real Eiffel Tower was made of chocolate for some really dumb reason. I mean, I'm blonde but his geography is like_, really_ atrocious; he even thought my g-spot was in my belly button…" Quinn snorts and Brittany raises her eyebrows, shifting away a little uncomfortably. "I nearly broke up with him after that." Quinn bats her eyelashes at her boyfriend when he looks over then rolls her eyes when he starts to colour in his sheet. "Moron," she groans, patting down her red cheer skirt.

"_In one long yellow string I wound," _Brittany reads from the sheet again monotonously and sighs with frustration again afterwards. "Did they even _have_ hair dye in the olden days?" she asks.

"Tragic." Quinn shakes her head.

"Nonsensical," Brittany replies.

"Sure it makes sense, all the classic love stories are like that," Quinn argues. "Two people who are at opposite ends of the spectrum come together, they fall in love then something devastating happens." Brittany turns her head and looks at Quinn to search for any truth behind her statement and is granted with a sincere yet sad smile.

"It's the brutal truth," Quinn continues. "If the relationship is destined to be doomed from the start then there will always be this unfathomable force getting in the way that ultimately destroys the partnership one way or another, be it death, disease, wealth or war," Quinn finishes before watching Brittany with seedy eyes who frowns in her chair and she wonders if Brittany is relating it back to Santana.

Brittany twists the sheet in her hand and thinks of how her aphephobia and Asperger's did create problems for Santana yet it only made their relationship more important to her so when she is finally able to touch her; they can only go from strength to strength. Yet Quinn has another obstacle in mind; Santana got close to Brittany out of vanity and something tells her that Brittany still has no idea.

"It was his insanity and her higher social status that made them doomed from the start." Quinn takes the sheet from Brittany's hand and lays it flat on the desk, making Brittany turn to her to listen again. "The Capulet's and Montague's were enemies and that was the driving force between the death of Romeo and Juliet." Quinn stops to throw in a piece of gum in her mouth and Brittany continues to stare intently, listening to every word.

"Now Rose was rich as shit and totally spoilt but she still managed to fall in love with some street rat, - though if he looked like Leonardo DiCaprio, I would totally fall in love too," Quinn gushes while chewing extensively on her gum, "and still, a giant ass iceberg had to ruin their fling!" She shrugs and Brittany's face gradually transitions from apprehensive to downright devastated. "Every single one." Quinn chews with her mouth obnoxiously wide open and blows a bubble before wrapping some gum around her finger.

Brittany gnaws on her bottom lips while she studies Quinn's face which doesn't falter as she speaks. She is extremely pretty; she has a bashful look about her that blends well with the fairness of her skin and hair that makes her look like your typical American beauty, so it surprises Brittany that she walked around like she sucked on lemons for the majority of the time instead of smiling every moment for being the most popular girl in school. _Cheerleaders. _

Quinn catches Brittany staring at her and her blue eyes are intense, so much so that Quinn straightens up a little uncomfortably.

"A Walk To Remember," Quinn randomly blurts out a movie title. And Brittany remembers wanting to see the film with Santana who wasn't having any of it. "Landon only started hanging around with Jamie because he didn't want to be expelled from school." Quinn pops her gum and rests her head on her right hand.

"She's All That. Zach only became interested in Laney after a bet he made with his friends to make her Prom Queen," Quinn hints while Brittany narrows her eyebrows and for a moment, Quinn wonders is she has caught on. "These people didn't do it because they were genuinely interested in the girl, they did it because their high school reputation was more important."

"Haven't seen'em," Brittany replies.

"It happens a lot in high school, so I would be careful," Quinn cautions her, drawing a broken heart on the sheet with her pen.

"I'm good." Brittany doesn't take her gaze from Quinn as she scribbles on the paper. "I have Santana." Quinn stops doodling on the sheet and raises her head again to watch Brittany, marking every detail and every falter in her expression and it's almost as if Brittany is trying to convince herself of that.

"Yes, you do," Quinn agrees and looks back down to Brittany's hands which are now entwined together with each other. "You must be one hell of a person for her to drop everything like that." Quinn's tone becomes more snarky but her expression remains unchanged as she watched Brittany's fingers twitch. "I mean, you look so frumpy with all these _stupid_ clothes on." She reaches her hand out and grabs the cuff of Brittany's mitt before her hand is violently snatched away and shoved back into her own chest. Quinn darts a glare across to Brittany who cowers back into her seat, eyes wide and jaw clenched.

"Don't touch me," Brittany breathes out as she folds her arms protectively, her vibrant blue eyes scream out at Quinn, pleading for her to stay away and Quinn whose face turns stunned at Brittany's sudden reflex.

"Don't touch me," she replies shakily. Her body feels like it's about to spasm as her nerves tingle with anxiety but luckily, she keeps it under control; only her irregular hearts beat can be heard through her chest.

Brittany and Quinn continue to watch each other cautiously for the next few moments as the rest of the class soldier on with their work. Quinn doesn't know what to say, the last thing she expected from Brittany was for her to react in a way like that; it was as if she was back at the party from last Saturday night when her face was a mix of a deer in the headlights as well as being scarily childlike after her incident with Puck. Quinn knows for sure now that there's something definitely not right with the girl.

Brittany on the other hand, worries that Quinn may have sussed her out completely but as they exchange conflicting looks by the second, Quinn is unable to read her, yet Brittany just became a whole lot more fascinating to her. Quinn opens her mouth to apologise but before the words can be uttered, the shrill sound of the school bell wakes them both from their trance as they jump upright in their chairs.

Brittany scatters around for her books and pens and shoves them into her bag without a second thought.

"Bye!" She almost screeches out before tumbling to her feet, almost knocking over her chair, and darts out of the classroom, leaving Quinn with a hell of a lot to speculate about.

* * *

><p>"I feel so <em>bad<em> for her," Quinn sighs, clutching her English books while she walks down the hall with Puck who had also been a little less confident this week, especially since he was receiving accusing look almost every day.

"Well I don't," Puck replies, curling up his lip. "Because of her, people think I tried to take advantage in some sick way," Quinn stops mid-step and narrows her eyes.

"There was _one_ thing…" Quinn trails off and Puck stops to stand in front of her, to make sure she couldn't not say anything.

"She did kinda freak-out when I tried to grab her arm." Quinn purses her lips then rolls her eyes. "Jesus, it sounds ridiculous. She looks like the Teletubbies had a massive orgy and she was their offspring with all those damn layers on. I touched her for like, a millisecond," she complains but Puck takes his hands and places them on Quinn's shoulders, forcing her to look at him.

"Exactly!" He blurts outs. "I barely touched her last week. I kissed her for like 5 seconds and she went crazy on my ass!"

Quinn studies Puck for a moment but soon realises that he isn't joking. She bites her lip, licking her bottom one deep in thought and of course Puck raises his eyebrow at such gesture.

"I'll look into it," she announces and Puck offers a crooked smirk, raking his hand through his hair and slicking back his mohawk.

"Does this mean I get to see you naked now?" he asks cheekily. Quinn rolls her eyes and swings her back to smack him across the shoulder.

* * *

><p>Brittany walks down the halls of McKinley High alone, counting each step while she runs her right hand across the cold metal lockers as she passes by. Her hair bounces in her ponytail as she sways her head from side to side and completely lost in her own little world. English class was a drag and the liveliness in McKinley halls seems a lot duller for Brittany today, colours turn to grey and every face is blurry as the students walk by like robots. Brittany didn't daydream often, but when days crawl by like today, she can be gone for hours.<p>

Her hand continues to drag along the lockers until the surface becomes more cushioned causing her to stop and look to her side. She finds Santana looking through her dark lashes with one eyebrow arched as she holds a nail file in one hand and slowly grazes her nail across the rough surface from her other. Brittany follows her gaze down to find her hand resting on Santana's boob and immediately snaps out of her dreamy state, pulling her hand away and looking sheepish.

"By all means, please continue," Santana smirks devilishly and Brittany can't help but blush. She looks Brittany up and down while she continues to file her nails and can't help but admire her not so colour coordinated wardrobe; red mittens, multi-coloured scarf, white fluffy ear muffs and a yellow trench coat. "You look like a pack of M&M's." Brittany just shrugs and sighs, kicking her foot across the floor and Santana narrows her eyes. "What's up with you?" she asks.

"I fucking hate English class," Brittany replies coldly with a hard face and Santana straightens up with surprise. Brittany barely curses and when Brittany looks at her again, Santana can see that the blue tints in her eyes are clouded with frustration and clogged up with a string of not-so-sentimental thoughts. Santana flips the nail file between her fingers before popping it into the breast pocket of her dress and wraps her hand around Brittany's.

"Follow me," she whispers and leads Brittany away from the main hall and down some darker corridors until they enter the girls' locker room. Brittany takes a good look around at the unfamiliar scene and turns to find Santana locking the door behind them.

"What are we doing here?" she asks, but Santana doesn't reply right away and checks every square foot to make sure that they're definitely alone before spinning around to Brittany with a mischievous grin.

Brittany watches her and wonders if she wore another skin tight dress on purpose today. The dress was blue, long-sleeved, and cut off a few inches above her knees like many of her other dresses. Santana knows how much time Brittany spends just staring at her legs and the attention feels good; Brittany's eyes on her body always feel good.

Santana drops her bag in the middle of the floor and begins to slowly unbutton her body warmer, not removing her gaze from Brittany. It takes a couple of moments for Brittany to register what's going on, but when she does, she immediately turns a feverish shade of red.

"Nice to see the colour return to your face." Santana grins and Brittany darts her eyes elsewhere, rubbing her hands together and biting her tongue softly.

"Wh-what are y-you doing?" Brittany stutters, yet she doesn't feel uncomfortable, but more so nervous, as if they were doing something very, very wrong. Santana starts to walk closer to Brittany from across the room, trailing her hands down each button and smirking that little smirk that she has.

"I gots some good news for you, Britt," Santana announces. Brittany nods her head and chews on her mitten, watching Santana's feet as she steps closer. "I decided to book an appointment with Miss Pillsbury, the guidance councillor," she continues and Brittany looks up at her again waiting for her to finish. "I'm going to speak to her about my…" Santana's face falters for a moment as her eyes flicker reticently to the ground. "My anger issues?" Her voice rises like a question at the end, as if she was asking herself if she was actually going to go through with this. "It's for both of us." She smiles tightly and Brittany notices that her hands have stopped working on her body-warmer.

She studies Santana for a moment and realises that she is being serious but at the same time there's something else that Santana's holding back. Her eyes fall on the vintage keychain around Santana's neck that Brittany had given her a while back and only notices now that she's never taken it off since.

"You want me to speak to someone as well, don't you?" Brittany asks. Santana returns her gaze back to Brittany and exhales heavily, nodding. Brittany breathes out along with her as her feelings become conflicted with her thoughts. She scratches her head uncomfortably and a series of scenarios flash by in her head.

"They're going to judge me, and-and assess me." Brittany bites her lip. "Strangers asking me questions and stuff." She rubs her forehead, trying to relieve the tension in her temples but the thought of speaking to someone about something so personal and something that's practically had control of her whole life seems impossible. "Notebooks and pens across paper, and lying down, staring at nothing but the plastered wall and… A-ann, and the smell of leather." Brittany shivers and Santana frowns. "I don't know if I can…" Brittany shakes her head as well as her hands. "I don't know if I can do that!" she fusses, but suddenly, Santana raises her gloved hand and covers Brittany's mouth with her palm, silencing her. She then takes her other hand to the back of Brittany's head and pulls her closer before planting her lips on top of her own fingers, just above where Brittany's lips are underneath.

After a moment, Brittany finds herself voluntarily wrapping her arms around Santana's waist and pulling her in closer as they stand there for a good thirty seconds, eyes closed and just becoming familiar with the proximity and for Brittany especially, she was beginning to love it.

Santana pulls her lips and moves her hand away from Brittany's mouth and when she opens her eyes again, Brittany still has hers closed and her grip still firmly around Santana's waist, unwilling to tug away.

The smug look returns back to Santana's face as she brings her hand to her body warmer again, unfastening the last button and wriggling out of it before throwing it to the floor which causes Brittany to jerk her eyes open again.

"I actually only came here for a shower during free period because studying sucks and I have nothing better to do," Santana says, kicking off her suede ankle boots. "I also thought you could do a bit of relaxing too because you know how it made you feel last time."

Brittany opens her eyes wide but Santana just winks, taking a few steps back so she's no longer in Brittany's grasp.

"B-but can't you get in trouble for this?" Brittany asks seriously, looking all around the room, just to double check they are definitely alone. Santana just shrugs and picks off her jewellery - her bracelets and few rings, but keeps the necklace on.

"Not if we don't get caught," she replies and eyes Brittany up and down again before moving closer to her again. "Besides…" she says, trailing her hands up Brittany's jacket to begin working on her own buttons. "The quicker you speak to someone," she says slowly, unfastening each button at an incredibly sluggish pace, despite Brittany's heart thumping at the speed of a rocket. "The quicker you can get better." She tugs at Brittany's collar, pulling her forward until Santana's mouth was millimetres away from Brittany's ear. "And thee-en-" Santana trails off, breathing down Brittany's neck, causing her to shiver. "The quicker we can…" Santana giggles and pulls back to look at Brittany's face.

Brittany's lids are hooded and she almost looks as if she's under a spell. Her eyes bat between looking at Santana's left and then her right and back and forth while she swims in Santana's presence.

"I love it when you look at me like that." Santana giggles. "It's such a turn on." She takes one last look at Brittany before turning around to walk away. Shamelessly, she grabs the bottom of her dress and raises it up and over her shoulders and head before dropping it next to her bag on the floor.

Brittany has to hold onto the railing for support and rubs her eyes to double check she isn't dreaming as Santana walks away from her, naked back facing her while Santana wears nothing but black Frenchies. Brittany's eyes are glued to Santana, who gathers the hair that falls past her shoulder and brushes it to the side, showing off the smooth and defined architecture of her back; it reminds Brittany of a sculpture. There is a perfect arch at the bottom of her spine to her butt complete with a dimple on either side. Her hips are more boyish, but the muscles that flex in her shoulder blades are like machinery as she walks away and Brittany can't take her eyes off; she's completely mesmerised. She's smooth all over and Brittany wants nothing more to do than go up to her now and run her hands all over her body.

Santana stops as she enters the shower room to peek behind the wall back to Brittany and is glad to find Brittany standing with her jaw dropped, her eyes as wide as her mouth and her hands clinging onto the railing so tight that her knuckles are white.

"At least think about it," Santana says and it echoes around the room before she disappears into the shower.

Brittany stands there for a couple of seconds completely frozen and unable to breathe. To say that Santana looked breath-taking is literally true, yet still so much of an understatement. She hears the shower tap screech on before the water beings to patter onto the tiles in the other room and Brittany's heart only flutters more and more with each second. Santana was only yards away, most probably very naked and wet; Brittany's stomach is doing somersaults.

Brittany takes a step and picks up Santana's shoe and then the other that lays a couple of feet away. She follows the trail of clothing until she has every piece in her arms while she stands at the entrance of the open plan shower room, leaning her back against the tiles and doesn't dare to look in. Every sigh that escapes Santana's mouth as the water hits her skin sounds like a song. It's sweet torture; Brittany knows she's being teased with riddles, but it excites her. It's like kryptonite and ever since their last sleepover, Brittany can't stop herself from having the filthiest of thoughts whenever Santana looks at her or touches her or whispers in her ear and she wonders how much longer she can last without doing something about it.

Brittany twists her head to look in the direction of the shower room when she hears Santana humming a tune; the steam begins to flow out to where Brittany stands and she can't help but feel a thousand degrees under her own clothes.

Brittany straightens up and looks forward, watching as the particles of steam bounce off each other in a dance as they fight for dominance while she cracks her fingers, holding Santana's clothes under her arm. Santana is everything Brittany wants and if she learned anything from English class at all today, it would be to start showing affection before the inevitable happens. She thinks of Porphyria's lover and the other love stories and there's no way in hell she was going to end up like that, not just yet. She takes a deep breath and turns around to walk into the shower area.

A sudden knock at the entrance door disrupts Brittany from walking any further as she whips her head back around to make sure she wasn't imagining anything.

"Hello-oo? Why is the door locked!" a girl shouts through the key hole and knocks again. Brittany freezes, trying figure out what to do but her mind goes blank.

"Oh!" she gasps out after the knocks become more violent. "Oh no!" she frets again and quickly shifts her feet towards Santana's direction. "Santana? Santana!" she yelps out as she slides across the tiles in a hurry to find her. The room is filled with steam, so her vision is a little hazy but she can make out Santana's shadow at the end of the room as she hums away.

"I know you have the key! It's against school rules to lock yourself inside!" The girl shouts through the lock again and Brittany shakes her hands in panic.

"Santana!" she screeches as she reaches her shower cubicle, Santana turns around and Brittany stops in her tracks, slips a little before grasping onto the wall, hand sliding across the tiles and uses her other hand to shield her eyes as some of Santana's clothes fall on the soaked floor.

"My clothes!" Santana cries.

"You're naked!" Brittany snaps back, bending down and scrambling around the floor for her clothes that are now drenched. "They're coming for us!" she calls out dramatically.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Santana giggles out, amused at Brittany's panicked expression as she gathers herself to her feet again with her hair now sticking to her face with the damp.

"Someone's at the door!" Brittany yells again and suddenly the door crashes open and both Brittany and Santana turn their heads in panic.

"Shit!" Santana curses and grabs her clothes from Brittany before turning the shower off. "Follow me!" she orders and stumbles back in to her soaked underwear, tripping while she skids across the floor but holds onto Brittany's jacket for support. They both run past the way they came and into the open swimming pool area. Santana just manages to pull her dress over her head when Brittany yells out and loses balance and brings Santana down with her.

An audible splash can be heard from the locker rooms as a bunch of Cheerio's finally manage to find a spare key to get inside. Quinn marches inside first, completely frustrated over the fact that they've lost about five minutes of practice but immediately recognises Santana's Fendi bag – the one she swore was real – lying on the floor. Then one of her shoes lying idly by itself on its way into the shower stalls and Quinn raises her eyebrows with shock.

"_No way!_" she whispers to herself before her she grins widely. The only other time when Quinn saw something similar to this was when she, Santana and a few other Cheerio's and some of the jocks broke into the school one night two years ago for late night skinny-dipping session.

"What is it?" a girl asks, but Quinn shushes her and tells the rest of the group to start getting changed. After all, she is Captain now so they have to do what _she_ says and she loves it. Quinn drops her bag on one of the benches but takes a trip to the shower room instead. The place is still filled with steam and Quinn immediately notices the other shoe and narrows her eyes as it leads into the main swimming pool. _Jackpot. _She doesn't hesitate to pick it up and trudge her way into the pool area.

However, to Quinn's dismay, she is left disappointed when she finds the only sign of movement are the ripples in the water. She scouts the whole length and width to make sure nobody resurfaces but after a good few minutes, she's leaves disgruntled as she holds Santana's ankle boots and bag.

* * *

><p>"Did you see her face?" Santana bursts out into a fit of giggles, latching onto Brittany's arm as they walk like two wet dogs down the promenade to their neighbourhood. Both of them shiver with the cold but they're too ecstatic to care. "She looked so lost!" Santana blurts out again, holding her stomach as tears of laughter form in her eyes.<p>

"I c-cant b-believe I fell in the pool! I didn't even see it! My heart was racing the whole time," Brittany cries out alongside her, lips trembling but her smile stretches from ear to ear. They pass by a couple of restaurants and café's where onlookers furrow their brows at their soggy appearance, but the duo just shake it off and walk with their arms linked. "Won't we get in trouble for playing hookey?"

"Nah," Santana shrugs. "Besides, I don't think they'd let us stay for the rest of the day looking like drowned rats and smelling like chlorine now would they?" Santana giggles again before shivering violently. "Jesus, it's so cold. What is with us and getting completely soaked, huh?" Santana mumbles. "One of these days, Brittany, you really _are_ going to kill me."

The two girls walk slowly but closely with each other, Santana avoids the cracks in the pavements with her bare feet but winces a couple of times when she steps on a few loose stones in the gravel and soon they have to stop so Santana can recover.

"You know what would really speed up time?" Santana asks, raising an eyebrow. Brittany purses her lips and rubs her arms.

"A time machine?" she asks and Santana crooks a brow. "Time dilation is what it's all about here but Paul Davis said that theoretically, it would take more than 100 years to create a 100-years' time difference between the two ends of a wormhole. – So we wouldn't make it back in time for school tomorrow…" Brittany shrugs and Santana looks back with a familiar perplexed expression.

"Actually I was thinking more of a piggy-back ride," Santana replies after a few moments of registering but not at all understanding what Brittany had just said.

"Oh," Brittany bites her lips shyly but smiles.

* * *

><p>"Now we need to think about tactics here," Ms. Lopez announces in front of her team of dark suited, middle-aged and hard faced followers for candidacy over an intimate lunch meeting. "The push for self-responsibility for welfare really upped my campaign for mayoral status by a few votes but now we need something hard hitting." She brushes her thick, groomed hair from her shoulder before taking a sip of her tea. "Terri, please elaborate with the ideas." She turns to the woman next to her who is fair haired with a few spindly greys, her eyes are grey with tiredness and the deep lines in her forehead suggests that she's an avid chain-smoker.<p>

"Well," Terri clears her throat and organises the sheets in front of her. "First of all we have the…" Terri stops as she eyes something in the distance outside of the window of the restaurant.

"Terri, please continue." Anita fixes her specs to read a copy of the outline.

"Anita, I'm sorry but isn't that your daughter outside?" Terri asks and Anita frowns immediately, of course it couldn't be her daughter, she was at school. She turns to face out the window anyway and narrows her eyes to find two girls across the road, laughing and joking around as the darker skinned girl falls off the blonde girls back. Both of them are soaked to the skin but their faces are hidden by their hair. Anita squints as the darker girl with the blue dress turns around to peel her raven hair from her face and then she grabs the edge of the table in shock. Terri's right, it is Santana.

* * *

><p>"Nearly there," Brittany pants out as they arrive at the mouth of their neighbourhood.<p>

"You're out of breath? Callin' me a damn hippo, I'll kick your ass!" Santana accuses playfully and lightly slaps Brittany on the shoulder. Brittany turns around and grins', taking Santana's hands in her own damp mittens and squeezes them. Her smile falters for a moment as she mentally looks back at her day and Santana immediately catches on.

"Brittany, what's wrong?"

"We _are_ going to be okay, right?" Brittany asks, her tone a lot more sombre now, which causes Santana to frown. Santana remembers asking the exact same question to Brittany not too long ago but she wasn't going to offer the same uncertainty.

"What? Of course!" Santana exclaims. "Why ask such a silly question?" She laughs nervously, shivering a little in the cold.

"Because I'm scared that something might happen to us, that's why I hated English so much today," Brittany replies honestly. A crease forms between Santana's brows as she takes Brittany's left hand on both of hers.

"Why would you think that?" Brittany bites her bottom lip and drops her gaze in shame.

"Because I'm a little different and thought that maybe I couldn't be good enough for you," she replies sadly. "That maybe the world is even crueller than it is in love stories and that maybe my being me, there will be something down the line that tears us apart because of it."

Santana watches as Brittany's face falls with dread and she can't help but feel her own falling sensation deep within her.

"Brittany?" Santana whispers as they stand outside a row of swanky restaurants, but she doesn't care who's watching. "Brittany look at me," Santana gently swipes away a strand of hair that clutches on to Brittany's cheek before caressing her skin gently in her palm. Brittany lifts her gaze again and nuzzles her head deeper into Santana's hand. She knew there was always a good reason to carry a spare pair of mittens.

"Brittany, never _ever_ think that you're not good enough for me, do you hear me?" Santana asks and Brittany just nods gently. Santana keeps her hand in place then takes one of Brittany's in her other before leading it up to her chest until Brittany's own palm is against Santana's heart. "You feel that?" Santana asks. Brittany feels the constant thudding of her heart racing in time with the restless butterflies that bat around in Brittany's stomach.

"You do that to me." Santana grins and Brittany's quick to mimic her when she feels the quick vibrations in Santana's chest. "So if you ever feel that you might not be worthy enough for me, just remember that there's a reason why my heart stays strong every day and it's because of you."

"It's like a hummingbird," Brittany whispers as her face lightens up again.

"Exactly," Santana nods, "Now let's go home," she keeps a hold of Brittany's hands as they start off again to walk the short distance back.

* * *

><p>Both girls eagerly skip up Santana's yard; school wasn't out yet and neither parents were home for either households but Santana was the one with the key. They stand practically jumping out of their wet clothes at the door, anticipating the warmth of her house and it's like a godsend when Santana finally manages to unlock the front door.<p>

They fall inside over one another but not without the usual giggles and playful shoves. Brittany kicks her waterlogged shoes off and Santana peels of her body warmer, dropping it on the floor.

"I still can't believe Quinn didn't see us, what a dipshit." Santana laughs out, facing Brittany who has her back against the door. "You know, you should really get a shower and I'm fairly certain that this time there won't be any interruptions," she says flirtatiously as she grabs the hem of Brittany's collar again. Brittany licks her lips and grips the bottom between her teeth but a sudden movement in the background causes her eyes flicker up past Santana.

It's like all of the colour completely drains out of Brittany's face as her expression turns from playful to grave in the space of a millisecond. Not even a slight hint of blue can be found in her eyes as her body comes to a complete standstill. Brittany quickly takes Santana's hand and squeezes it painfully tight and it causes Santana's stomach to turn as she watches Brittany's panicked expression fold out in front of her.

Santana slowly turns around and when her back is facing Brittany, she drops her hand immediately.

Santana's mother stands in the hallway but she doesn't look like her mother. Her face is cold and hard like marble, her lips curl up in a snarl and her eyes are black with anger.

She knows.

She knows about her and Brittany.

And now everything is about to change.

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter XIII<em>

**I'm sorry that I have to leave you there... I just had too :PAnd I know it's late to the party but there will be a Christmas/New Years chapter because I think it'll be a perfect time for a little something...  
>Please review! <strong>


	14. Chapter XIV

**_CHAPTER XIV_**

* * *

><p>Santana Lopez grew up always knowing what she wanted but could never really explain it. In first grade her teacher asked the class what they'd like to be when they were older and Santana sat at the very back row so she wouldn't be picked till last. She would stare down at her little red shoes that were scuffed at the toes and worn at the soles and remembered how comfortable they once were. They were her favourite shoes, but soon she found herself loosening the buckle more and more every other week as she grew bigger. Then when it was finally her turn to stand in front of the class, she stood in front of the other boys and girls, said hello with a shy smile and looked down at her shoes.<p>

Many of the children said they wanted to be teachers, fire-fighters, astronauts or the next President of the United States; the usual. But as Santana stood with her hands behind her twisting from side to side, she realised that she had no desire for any of those things.

"I want to be just like my little red shoes," she said.

Some of the kids scratched their heads and chins in confusion and when the teacher asked Santana to explain why, she bent down and un-fastened the buckles on her feet before stepping out of her shoes completely, before lifting them in her hands to show them off.

"When I'm older, I want to be just like my little red shoes," she repeated. "One day I'm going to get old and scruffy and people will start outgrowing me. But if I can make at least one person in the world comfortable and feel good about themselves, then I know I've done a good job in life."

Most of the kids let her explanation fly past their heads and some even blamed Santana for not having a real topic but the teacher sat in the back of the classroom and felt proud to have a student that still embraced the little things in life even though others couldn't understand.

* * *

><p>"Mom, please, you don't understand," Santana begs at the front door of her house before anything is even said. Even though she spent a good part of the day walking home in the cold while completely saturated, her blood boils to a thousand degrees and her pulse rings continuously in her ears. She has tunnel vision and all she can see is her mother's outraged face.<p>

"I understand. Completely," Anita replies with no emotion, despite the sinister look she gives her daughter as they stand in the hallway. There it was again, her deadly calm voice that sends crippling chills shooting down ones spine and while she speaks, Brittany latches onto the back of Santana's body warmer, digging her nails into the fabric. "Why don't we have a little chit-chat in the living room, shall we?" Her voice is sweet but sickly so and the invitation turns both of the girl's stomachs to the point of nausea.

Anita doesn't wait for them as she makes her way into the family room and for a moment Santana and Brittany just stand there utterly frozen and it isn't because water is dripping from their clothes. Brittany can't for the life of her figure out why Anita would look at her the way she did but for whatever reason, it makes Brittany feel like the poltergeist which follows Santana and which Anita wanted rid of.

Santana on the other hand knows exactly what her mother was thinking but the outcome is unclear and because of that, it frightens the crap out of her. She finally turns around to Brittany at the door and holds onto her jacket sleeves. Brittany stands, waiting for an explanation as to what was happening but Santana can only look at their feet and take short, shaky and broken breaths.

"Santana, what's going on?" Brittany whispers. Santana's forehead creases as her brows knit together and it unsettles Brittany. "Please?" she asks again.

Santana rubs Brittany's wrists over her jacket with her thumbs and blinks a couple of times at the floor, fluttering her full set of eyelashes before raising her gaze to meet Brittany. Santana's eyes were always warm, even when she was angry or upset; there was always this fiery passion behind them that made very single emotion she let out all that more sincere. But now, as Brittany searches her eyes; there is nothing. The fire has burned out and there's only emptiness that's left. It was as if a significant part of her life was just about to be stripped away from her and it causes Brittany's heart to speed up with dread. And while Santana looks at her, almost pleading silently to herself for things to be okay, she looks hopeless.

"I love you," Santana whispers as her voice breaks, "No matter what happens." And that was that.

Santana turns her attention back to the floor and takes one of Brittany's hands in hers. Brittany feels sick; she expects the worst but she can't figure out why and she almost wants to turn back around and leave the house but she can't leave Santana, it was impossible.

As the girls cautiously enter the lounge area, they find Anita sitting in the middle of the sofa that faces the fireplace on the opposite wall and even the sight of the back of her head makes them hesitate to walk any further. The atmosphere is thick, almost suffocating and two heartbeats can be heard echoing as they crash against the teenagers' chests.

"Take a seat," Anita says slowly, pouring herself a glass of Pazzia wine despite it only being late in the afternoon. She swivels the alcohol around in the crystal glass while Santana squeezes Brittany's hand before letting go and proceeding to walk around the couch to the loveseat beside the fire that faces her mother. No one can look at each other.

Anita brings her nose to the wine glass and inhales the floral sent, allowing the red wine to relax her a little. Santana gazes out of the window at the far end of the room that looks out onto the yard and wants to nothing more to do than get up and run straight back out. Brittany, who is closest to the fireplace, watches the orange and red flames fight for dominance as they lick around the bricks on the back wall while the heat slowly dries her hair and clothes.

"Today was a big day for me," Anita begins, taking a generous gulp of her wine that causes both girls to shift uncomfortably. "Today my campaign was going to be kicked into high gear so I called a meeting to discuss some very important ideas with my peers." Anita scratches her head subtly in thought while Santana and Brittany stay completely still. "Everything was going according to plan and then, strangely, my colleague noticed something unfamiliar. Something she didn't expect to see nor did my other colleagues, nor did I for that matter."

Santana closes her eyes, praying to God that she was soon going to wake up and that it was all just a bad nightmare. Brittany, on the other hand, looks at Santana with a muddled expression, a million thoughts race through her head and even though she'd rather not anticipate anything at all, all she wanted to know was what the hell was going on.

"The people at my work know that I have a respectable daughter, they know that she's doing very well in school, that she is head cheer captain, a team leader and that she is surrounded by friends that look up to her. My daughter sets an example, she is a valued student and the decision to make her go to a public school only enhances that," Anita recites as if she were reading something from a book. "She would make a virtuous wife to a worthy husband and would no doubt work hard in her future career to stabilise and make her life comfortable."

Santana begins to wiggle her toes and rub her palms together and as her mother continues to spit out her _own_ vision of Santana's future. She can feel every part of her skin crawl as she realises that kind of reality was the complete opposite of what she really wanted.

"Which brings me back to my original point." Anita takes another swig of her wine before glancing coldly across to Brittany. Brittany bites her bottom lip as the hairs stand on the back of her neck, causing her to shift a little closer to the fireplace. "We noticed that _my_ daughter was parading down the strip at two o'clock in the afternoon on a school day, her clothes were drenched and she was dilly dallying with some blonde-headed girl in the process." Her tone turns sour as she glares abrasively in Brittany's direction.

Brittany swallows but the dryness in her throat makes it seem impossible.

Santana also looks in Brittany's direction and can see that her complexion is as pale as her white ear-muffs that sit on her lap.

"Your hands were all over my daughter."

"Mom," Santana interrupts.

"I know what I saw, Santana." Anita raises her voice, still glaring at Brittany.

Brittany thinks that her heart couldn't beat any faster but it does and even though she tries to, Anita has her gaze locked and Brittany can't look away.

"Both of you, in public, you couldn't keep your eyes or hands off each other; making a show of yourselves." Anita curls her lip in a look of disgust before she takes another drink of wine. "How _dare_ you make my daughter out to look like some reckless, uneducated _dyke!"_

"Mom!" Santana interrupts again but this time stands up in defence but Anita brings herself up to her feet just as soon.

"An embarrassment! My own daughter!" She slams her glass of wine against the coffee table as the two implements of glass and crystal clash against each other in a heated rage.

Brittany cowers into the corner of the couch away from the view of Anita while Santana stands in front of her and cracks her fingers nervously as the tension between mother and daughter hits boiling point.

"I had to walk out of the restaurant with my head to the ground because of you!" Anita snarls while Santana clenches her fists. "You should be ashamed of yourself!"

Santana bites her tongue in an attempt to stay mute but she can feel the anger burning up inside her like boiling steam and she knows that in any moment, she won't be able to hold it in any longer.

"And _HER!"_ Anita cranes her neck to point another darting look towards Brittany. "I told you to stay away from her, Santana, but all this time you've been going behind my back?"

"Because I knew you would react like this," Santana croaks. The pain in her throat is extortionate as she tries to hide back tears and keep calm.

"She's a parasite, Santana!" Anita growls and Brittany's eyes dart up from her hands as her harsh words sink in.

Brittany's hands turn cold again as shame washes across her body. Brittany had been called many things; an attention seeker, weirdo and even stupid at time but she has never been called anything as hard-hitting as that and it hits her hard, square in the gut.

"She's going to be relying off other people for the rest of her life and you're dumb if you can't see that."

"STOP talking about Brittany like she isn't here mom!" Santana threatens as they glower at each other.

"It wouldn't make a difference." Anita chuckles. "I'd be surprised if she even knew what even being in a relationship was all about." Anita can see Santana grate her teeth as her temper shortens and takes it as an opportunity to let it all out before Santana erupts. "She's not worth it," she grimaces.

"No, mom. Brittany is _everything,_ and I mean as much to her as she does to me and you can't change that," Santana says, trying to keep her voice strong but it cracks at the end of her sentence.

"She has Asperger's syndrome, Santana. She'll never love you." Anita's lips pop off her glass as her eyes swap between Brittany and Santana.

Shame-faced and humiliated, Brittany closes her eyes in an attempt to stop the damp that collects there from leaking out. Her lips begin to tremble and her hands begin to shake and as soon as Santana can hear Brittany's faint whimper, she becomes a ticking time bomb.

_Ten…_

"You're wrong," Santana says calmly at first as she watches her mother pour out another glass of wine.

"Was she the one that gave you the marijuana? Hell knows she's got you skipping school and getting yourself into a right mess, look at you!" Anita waves her arms around as she waves her glass in the other.

_Nine…_

"You're wrong again," Santana bunches up a piece of her dress next to her thigh in her fist as she attempts to take slow, steady breaths, but fails miserably. Brittany brings her knees to her chest on the couch, not caring that her feet were on the fabric.

"If your father could see you now…" Anita snarls.

_Eight…_

"Well he isn't here, is he, Mama?" Santana raises her voice, causing it to become hoarse but she stands perfectly still although her chest heaves up and down with pent up fury.

"If he could see you now he wouldn't even want to look you in the eye. You've put this family to shame after all I've worked for to keep us together!"

_Seven…_

"What family, Mom?" Santana's voice breaks. "Please enlighten me because we haven't been a family ever since he walked out on our ass!"

"Do you blame him?" Anita snaps before chucking down another glass of red. "You're not a lesbian, you're just going through a phase; sense will be knocked into your head sooner or later and then you'll leave that silly little girl who's got your head in the clouds behind."

_Six…_

"No, I love Brittany and I _know_ she loves me, I know it," Santana growls through ground teeth. She has both fists curled around her dress now as the heat around her neck starts to burn.

"Who are you trying to convince? Yourself?" Anita laughs again, pouring herself another glass. "Tell me, Brittany," she asks curiously. "Do you love my daughter, do you?"

_Five…_

Brittany looks up from her feet and into Anita's eyes; she was mocking her, an obnoxious smirk creeps up on Anita's mouth and she feels sick. Brittany can't say anything; her teeth are buried too deep into her tongue. She's afraid that if she speaks then blood would come pouring out.

"She can't say it," Anita chuckles out a breath. "She's lost in her own little world over there. Brittany tell me that you love my daughter,"

_Four…_

"Leave her alone, Mom! Don't listen to her, Brittany," Santana begs, stepping in the way of Brittany's view of Anita but it doesn't stop her mother as she sways around, tipsy and making a joke out of the situation.

"Tell me you love her goddamnit!" Anita's full on laughing now, it's absurd to her. Everything about the situation is absurd.

_Three…_

"Mom! Stop it!" Santana starts to crack as her blood begins to boil and Brittany stays hidden behind her, trying to block out everything that was going around.

"Look what you've done to my daughter, look at her! And you can't justify yourself because you don't know how. _Tell me_ now!" Anita begins to seethe at the thought of her daughter being with another girl let alone someone like Brittany.

_Two…_

"Shut up!" Santana shouts but all she can hear is her mother's harassing insults being thrown across the room while Brittany sits behind her with her head buried between her knees; she wants to go home.

"She's damaged goods, Santana! She's pathetic!"

_One…_

"No!" Santana lashes out, charging towards her mother before knocking the wine bottle out of her hand as it smashes against the floor. "No!" Santana screams again and Anita backs away as Santana squares closer to her. "How _DARE_ you say that about Brittany when _you're_ the one that failed as a mother," she spits. "Ever since Dad left you've always taken it out on me because you can't stand the fact that I remind you of him and while you've put all of your love and affection into work and that _fucking_ bottle and that _STUPID _campaign you've been hiding me in your shadow." Santana is furious, and the way her voice grates painfully shows it.

"Oh, here we go! _Poor me!" _Anita imitates her but it only makes Santana all the more livid.

"See, you're wrong again! I didn't smoke marijuana or get into trouble and even skip school because of Brittany; I did those things because I was shaping myself up to be just like _you_," Santana barks resentfully and Anita rolls her eyes. "It's all about having tough skin, isn't it, Mother?" Santana smirks. Santana wants to hurt her; she wants her to feel like she had just been punched in the stomach over and over again. "Well let's see if you can handle this: I'm in love with a girl and I will never _ever_ have the desire to be with a boy so you can screw your plan."

Anita clenches her jaw as she takes in Santana's words but shakes them off as quickly as she shakes her head in doubt.

"Also, that girl over there, the one who you can't stand? She actually makes me feel loved. _Loved._ So what's that saying about you when it's more than you've ever done in the last ten fucking years?"

Before Santana can get another word in, she receives a firm blow against her cheek where Anita strikes her with her hand and it sends white dots spiralling in Santana's vision. For a moment, everything is hazy as bells ring in the left side of her ear while she keeps her eyes squeezed shut with the reflex. When she opens them again she automatically turns around to Brittany and finds her shielding her own eyes with her hands, shaking and bubbling into her jacket and it breaks Santana.

Her cheek stings as Santana slowly turns back around to face her mother who gazes out of the window, expressionless. It's silent for a couple of seconds and Santana backs away from her mother, still a little disorientated.

"You are never to speak, make contact or be within twenty yards of Brittany, Santana. Do you hear me?" Anita says calmly, keeping her attention on their mailbox at the end of their yard.

Santana furrows her eyebrows and rubs her cheek but doesn't answer her.

"Do you hear me, Santana?" Anita then turns back around to find Santana glaring at her.

"I won't do that," Santana disobeys. "You can't stop me from seeing Brittany." Santana's pace is slow to make sure that she can be heard loud and clear. "I won't stop seeing her."

Anita nods and purses her lips as she watches the fire burn away in the corner of the room; no longer able to look at her daughter.

"You either tell Brittany to leave now or you leave me no other choice than to say that you're no longer welcome in this house and you'll have lost not only a father but you will lose a mother as well."

Santana feels sick, the nausea churns in her stomach as she becomes increasingly light headed and all the while, the room stays silent; this was her call. She closes her eyes and tries to rewind to when she and Brittany were having the conversation on the promenade.

'_We __are __going to be okay, right?'_

'_Brittany look at me…You feel that?'_

Santana opens her eyes and she can feel the exact same heartbeat that she did when she stood there with Brittany, only this time it aches more than anything; more than she can handle. She removes her hand from her cheek that was still red hot from her mother's lashing out before slowly turning back around to Brittany.

The same emptiness is shaded in the colour of Santana's eyes as before, only this time, Brittany can see tears begin to form and she knows Santana is in pain. Their eyes don't entirely meet due to the salty water that clouds both of their vision and even though Brittany is confused and scared, she knows that this is the moment that Santana has been dreading for a long, long time.

"I'm so sorry," Santana chokes as tears begin to fall down her cheeks and it's all she has to say for Brittany to fear for the absolute worst; the pivotal of all heartbreaks.

_No…_

Brittany squeezes her eyes shut, wishing that there was something she could do to stop all of this agony and make it go away but she knows she can't. She doesn't want to touch anything, she doesn't want to hear anything and she definitely doesn't want to see anything.

Santana's senses are heightened on the other hand; she can feel tears graze down her cheeks and it's like razor blades cutting into her skin and while some drop onto the wine-stained carpet where her mother previously spilled a bottle, others travel to the corner of her parted lips, falling into her mouth to be tasted. They are warm, scalding in fact and they taste like the bitterness that her own mother reeks of.

She too then closes her eyes, making herself feel as numb as possible despite the throbbing spot on her cheek. She turns back around to Anita and even though Santana can't see her, she knows that her mother was staring right into her soul, feeling self-assured and very much triumphant. Santana takes a beat and lets the reality settle within her. This was it.

"How can I lose a mother, when she left when my father did?" Santana asks in a shaky whisper, opening her damp eyes again and watching the way Anita's face falls incredibly. Santana feels her very own self tingle with awareness and it makes her feel faint. "My parents are gone," she can hardly get out before her heart cracks entirely and her walls come crumbling down.

Up on hearing the words, Brittany opens her eyes with surprise over the fact that Santana wasn't saying goodbye to her. Not yet any way. She finds Santana quivering; her body violently shakes be it the cold from the damp clothes, the adrenaline or a mix of everything as it comes down to one decision. Whatever the reason, Santana doesn't look stable and it gives Brittany the willpower to find her feet and finally take a stand.

Anita grips onto the arm on the side of the couch to steady herself. Santana has made her choice and now Anita must live with it. She is enraged. Hatred begins seethe through her pores like poison but Santana isn't going to get the last say, she has to be put in her place and left to think about what she has done to their family. Anita turns to her daughter who's blind with tears and dips her head to level their eye contact until their faces are merely inches apart.

"Then you are nothing but _dead _to me," Anita snarls, lips curled teeth bared.

Anita might as well have drawn a handgun to her daughter's chest and pulled the trigger. And for the first time in a long time Santana agrees with her; after all, she did feel dead inside. Her skin was stone cold, her face was vacant, eyes distant and she was sure that her heart had stopped beating because she definitely stopped breathing in that moment. There was nothing else to be done, nothing else Santana could say but remember her mother's final, paralysing words.

Santana suddenly feels her weight being shifted as Brittany wraps an arm around her waist. Her vision is still disoriented but she can see splotches of colour that changes when she finds her feet moving across the floor. Words are being spoken but it's as if she's hearing underwater; everything is spoken through vibrations. She opens her mouth for air but finds that's she's unable to inhale all the while Brittany leads her out of the lounge area. She can see the daylight that pierces through the front door and as they move closer, the more blinding it becomes. Suddenly she can feel the cold air come into contact with her skin; it's a sensation that makes her feet feel light, so light it's as if she was floating, as if she wasn't there at all. And as soon as they are across the yard and into Brittany's, she blacks out.

* * *

><p>"Santana?... Santana, honey can you hear me?" Grace calls gently and Santana can feel a warm hand press against her forehead, it's soothing. "James, I don't think she's going to wake up, should we call 911?"<p>

Santana can feel herself gradually becoming more conscious; her breathing has evened out and her heart beats at regular speed. She's comfortable, her eyes feel heavy but she's comfortable as she allows the soft, warm hand to stroke her forehead and hair. She sighs deeply.

"I think she's waking up," Grace says hopefully. "Brittany, darling can you run her bath? She must be freezing."

Santana can feel someone shift underneath her head before they disappear completely. She can hear their socks patting across the wooden flooring and upstairs and Santana wants her to come back. It was Brittany.

Where was she? What happened? As uncertainty begins to settle in Santana can feel her eyelids begin to flicker open. They sting for a moment but she blinks the scratchiness away and finds herself looking up to the ceiling where a blonde woman with laughing lines around her oval grey eyes and blonde pixie cut hair looks down, showing a concerned expression. Santana knew it was Grace's voice and she smiles at the familiarity before tiredness hits her again, causing her to fall back into a light sleep.

"Don't worry, Grace," James whispers. "She'll come around."

When Santana woke up for the second time, she remembered exactly what had happened and she didn't speak a word about it; all she wanted to do was sleep and not wake up for a very, very long time.

* * *

><p>Brittany can feel her butt start to grow numb, Santana had been in the bath for nearly thirty minutes now and not a single movement or splash could be heard except from when Santana turned the tap on to run the hot water every now and again. Santana hadn't breathed a word since before she blanked out the first time and couldn't even bring herself to look anyone in the eye.<p>

Brittany's parents agreed that Santana could stay with them for a while upon hearing what Anita had done. The reason why? They did not know but after seeing Santana soaked to the skin and as pale as snow with a face as bare as bone, they knew that she couldn't be left alone; she looked like a ghost. They decided to head out to the convenience store to pick up a few things for Santana; a toothbrush, pyjamas and a couple of other bits and pieces while leaving the two teenagers alone in the house.

Brittany tried not to reflect on what happened. Anita's spiteful and hateful remarks had stabbed her in the gut but she knew that Santana was feeling a lot worse and this was about her and because of that, Brittany tried to remain strong.

Brittany stiffly cranes her neck as she sits up from leaning against the bathroom door. She was able to get a shower and changed into clean, warm clothes using her parent's en suite bathroom before Santana woke up again and the rest was a waiting game. She sighs and holds her hands out in front of her. For once she wasn't covered in cloth and instead she wore a simple white t-shirt and grey baggy sweats with white socks. She tied her hair up neatly in a ponytail and it was good to feel like this, especially when she had felt so claustrophobic for so long.

She twiddles her fingers and sighs before twisting around to face the white wooden door.

"Santana, are you okay?" she tries for the billionth time that day but of course it was hopeless. Brittany bites the ends of her nails, trying to figure out a way to get to Santana because waiting could mean a lifetime. She knows Santana and knows how stubborn she can get, so Brittany just stares intensely at the door, trying to muster up a way to get something out of Santana, even if it was just a look.

Her eyes dart to the brass handle and she nods to herself for encouragement.

"Santana, I'm coming in," She warns Santana, raising her arms and gripping on to the handle before bringing it down towards her chest as she pulls herself to her feet.

She peeks through the door cautiously to make sure that Santana is aware of her entrance but finds her to be unfazed as she stares aimlessly at the tiled wall beside her.

Brittany takes it as an opportunity to invite herself and tiptoes in quietly before gently closing the door behind her and making sure that it's actually locked. She turns back around to find Santana unmoved and wonders if she actually acknowledges Brittany's presence.

Santana's left arm hangs limp as it dangles out of the tub while only the top of her shoulders and head can be seen above the bubbles. Her dark hair looks black as it contrasts against her still pale skin. She looks like a porcelain doll; she is beautiful. _How could something so beautiful hurt so badly?_

"I… I made those bubbles for you because… because they're-" Brittany swallows, trying to find the right word to say. "They're bubbles."

Brittany waits for a response but Santana just continues to stare at the wall to her right, wearing a tight line between her lips. She takes another deep breath and moves closer before taking a seat on the bath rug next to Santana's left arm.

"We can get takeout, if you'd like. Or-or watch a movie… Do homework? Or we can talk about it; just… we can talk about it?" Brittany searches for anything in Santana's face to indicate a change of expression, or even a change in her breathing. Her skin is so soft and smooth that it really could be mistaken for a doll; her lips neither turn up nor down at the corners of her mouth and she doesn't even blink. The only evidence of her being human is the way her chest rises up and down as she breathes. Brittany looks at her, mirroring her expression as she tries to decipher her thoughts.

"I can see that you're sad," Brittany whispers, keeping her gaze locked on Santana, locked on her eyes. "But I don't know what to do, Santana," she sighs. "Please." Brittany brings her arms up and latches onto the rim of the bath as she shuffles onto her knees. "Please tell me what I can do to make it better."

Nothing.

Brittany turns her gaze to the hot tap where small droplets gather at the lip of the faucet before dripping into the full tub of water, making a blipping sound. Her brain was frazzled but she knew there was something she had to do.

A couple of minutes pass and only the tap dripping can be heard as Brittany dives deep into her thoughts while on the contrary, Santana blocks out everything. Suddenly, Brittany whips her head around to look at Santana to find her in the same position but it doesn't stop her from giving up trying.

"I can see that you're sad," Brittany repeats once again. "But I'm going to make you feel better," she adds on this time. Her voice is bold as it echo's around the bathroom. "I'm going to make you feel better, I promise you that," she swears.

"I know I can't do that for you straight away and I know that it hurts because I can see it in your face but… I'm going to take the pain away. I'm going to take it all away for you and I'm going to-" Brittany's breath catches in her throat as she tries to put her intentions into words. "I'm going to take it away."

"I know you love me, Santana," she whispers, dipping her chin onto the edge of the bath where Santana's forearm rests. "I can feel it inside me. It's like… It's like you're a part of me, everywhere I go, you're there. You're there and I want you there. It makes my tummy warm. It makes my hands go all tingly and it makes me feel… Good. You make me feel good," Brittany nods. "Like Christmas Eve and key lime pie, it gives me that funny feeling… giddy." She smiles.

"Every night, when the stars are out, I look up to them and I see you. I see you because you remind me of them now," Brittany breathes out onto a group of bubbles near her nose that causes them to dissolve into nothing. Santana still doesn't react but Brittany doesn't stop trying. Instead she clears her throat and really thinks about it, thinks about what's she's trying to say and when she finds it, her eyes dart up to Santana one last time.

"I was so scared today when you turned around to me and apologised. I really thought… I really thought-" Brittany stops as soon as she spots Santana bite down onto her bottom lip. She holds it there, digging her teeth into the flesh and doesn't withdraw. Brittany hopes for another reaction, but is declined and so decides to continue.

"I really thought you were going to leave me, Santana." Her voice is an octave higher as the realisation kicks in. "I thought to myself; _this is it._" Brittany watches as Santana lets go of her lip before she rolls her tongue across the plump flesh there. Her eyes still look at the same position but there's a slight dent between her brows where the tension begins to build. Brittany is getting to her.

"I felt scared. But-but not because if you did leave me all of those things that I loved feeling so much would disappear, no." Brittany shakes her head as she gazes straight into Santana's dark and distanced eyes. "I was scared because I thought I was gonna lose _you," _Brittany whispers and she can see Santana begin to finally crack as her bottom lip starts to tremble before there's a slight shift in her eyes.

"You've given me a reason to hold my head high for the past couple of months, Santana," Brittany says shakily as she can feel her own self become fragile. "You've been patient and caring and you've shown me things, took me to places and made me feel in ways that I would have never imagined I could feel."

Santana shuts her eyes then as Brittany's words soak in like the bubbles around her skin and it reminds her of the first grade, when she made that speech in front of the class. She keeps her eyes closed with the memory, the crease in her forehead intensifies and her jaw clenches while she stays like that, encouraging Brittany to continue.

"I'm going to get help, Santana," Brittany says and Santana scrunched her eyes tighter and almost looks in pain but she's not; her walls have crumbled, she's raw and Brittany's words are what she needs for the fire to relight within her.

"I'm going to speak to someone. I'm going to get better so if I ever see you like this again I can take your face in my hands, rest my forehead against yours and promise you that it _will_ get better, it will," Brittany grinds her teeth as determination feeds through every vein in her body and just as she does, Santana breaks again as she lets out a soft whimper that gradually turns into a sob.

Her eyes remain tightly shut but the tears escape her eyes lids and flow effortlessly down her face.

"And you have to believe me, okay?" Brittany asks but her own voice breaks as tears form in her own eyes. "I need you to believe in me."

Santana's shoulders heave, unable to stop her silent cries as she chokes out and quivers but she nods, she listens to Brittany and she nods.

"Please," Brittany begs. "Please looks at me and just say okay, that's all I need."

Brittany waits patiently as Santana's cries change to soft whimpers and snivels. Her breath is still uneven but she successfully calms down. Brittany waits a little more and notices that Santana's eyes are open but barely as she blinks down into the bath. A few moments later and about twenty droplets falling from the tap and Santana stiffly turns her head to Brittany and takes in a deep breath causing Brittany to perk up. She slowly lifts her gaze and meets Brittany half way, blocking everything out of sight and out of mind but her.

Brittany notices that there's a change in her eyes as they no longer look empty despite them being red and puffy. The dark brown that was almost black before has turned into a more auburn shade and there's a little twinkle there but a look that Brittany can recognise from a mile off has also returned. The fire was back, even though it was the tiniest of flames.

Santana remains fixated on Brittany while taking in a deep breath before exhaling it again.

"Okay."

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter XIV<em>

**So there you have it and I really hoped you all enjoyed this chapter.  
>Thanks again for all of your reviews and please keep on reviewing, it means a lot.<br>Thank you Bekah and now that the first wave is over, there is some highly anticipated moments closely ahead. :)**


	15. Chapter XV

_[AN] Hello! It feels so good to be updating again, lol. I can only apologise for the really really long wait for this chapter but I have been very sick over the last month and I've spent some time in hospital. However, it's safe to say that the worst is over and I'm on the road to recovery now so no more long updates._

_I just want to say thank you so much for the get well messages, they really did brighten my days and of course for the amount of reviews and your patience. It really is a pleasure to write for you guys and I hope you're enjoying it as much as I am. There's still a long way to go with this fic so I'm really excited to continue it. Thank you!_

**_CHAPTER XV_**

* * *

><p><em>She grabs the cold brass handle of the door and waits for a moment before her eyes shift down to her hand. Her palm is sticky with sweat as each fingertip begins to tingle nervously. She has to do this, for both of them. She inhales a large gust of air and holds it in as she counts the seconds ticking by; <em>seven... eight... nine_. Her heart rate quickens but her face remains as stale as stone and as soon as she exhales, she pushes the door handle down._

* * *

><p>The hinges of the bedroom door quietly creak and moan and it takes another kick from Brittany for it to fully swing open. She stands at the entrance, cringing from the loud noise and cursing away in whispers for being the human alarm of the morning. She carries a full breakfast tray, complete with freshly squeezed orange juice, pancakes sprinkled with powdered sugar and syrup with cherry yogurt in a side dish.<p>

Santana doesn't budge at all despite Brittany's not-so-sophisticated entrance and remains curled up neatly into the ball she has stayed in all night, cramped into the corner of Brittany's bed. Her breathing stays shallow and her face is serene as she nuzzles away into the pillow with the duvet tightly wrapped around her body.

Brittany watches Santana's sleeping figure from across the room and can't help the doubt feeding away at the pit of her stomach. She and Santana were in this together, they were both going to fight to get better but looking at Santana now; she looks so helpless.

Choosing to ignore the qualms of the previous day, Brittany raises her chin and begins to walk towards the bed with the breakfast tray in her hands. The glasses of orange juice rattle against the plates and Brittany sticks her tongue out in determination not to spill anything, yet such determination is short lived when she stubs her toe off the wooden frame of her bed and keels over, causing one of the glasses to topple and spill on to one of the plates holding the pancakes before the juice drips onto the sheet that covers Santana.

"Oops…" she whispers to herself with worrisome eyes and freezes, holding the tray over Santana's sleeping body as the cold orange juice absorbs into the fabric of her bedding. It doesn't take long for Santana to feel the cold liquid against her skin and Brittany watches nervously, screwing her face up as Santana rolls around in the bed, murmuring nonsensical phrases about apples and aliens before opening her eyes to be met by Brittany hovering over her with lips shaped like an 'o'.

"Oh… oh! So- so sorry, I- I didn't mean to… I spilled it," Brittany stutters, dropping the tray onto the mattress as she tries to save the plate of pancakes where the juice had spilled but the damage is already done. She picks a pancake up with her fork and it only takes a couple of seconds before it disintegrates into a pile of mush in front of her. "I'm not that hungry anyway," Brittany sighs, pouting her lips and dropping the fork onto the plate.

Santana winces, still hazy from waking up and peels away the now damp sheet from her skin. She has already forgotten the reason as to why she is waking up in Brittany's bed, or more so, hasn't remembered yet and the first thing she notices when she sits up is Brittany fussing over the breakfast opposite her and it brings a lazy smile to her lips.

Brittany takes notice and immediately grins back. She missed that smile of Santana's.

"I knew breakfast in bed would cheer you up and I made it all by myself, yup," Brittany enthuses proudly as she takes the tray and presents it on Santana's lap. "I really, _really_ hope you enjoy it." Brittany takes her yogurt that she managed to save and digs right in with the spoon while Santana cuts through her pancakes and takes generous bites. Brittany watches her eagerly between mouthfuls of yogurt and is happy to find Santana close her eyes as she savours the taste of the pancakes.

"Mmm," Santana hums and nods in approval. "Delicious," she grins with her mouth half full, causing Brittany to giggle and slurp on her spoon.

Santana watches Brittany's coy expression and appreciates the way the morning light reflects off and animates her bright oceanic eyes, making them sparkle. Even in the earliest of mornings, her fair skin and freckles along with her sunny eyes glowed and never stopped glowing until the day laid to rest.

"It was nice to finally wake up with you by my side," Brittany tells Santana honestly before her cheeks turn to a darker shade of pink. "I liked it."

Santana begins to chew slowly as flashbacks spring up in her mind of the previous day and soon she stops chewing altogether. Then it hits her and almost suddenly the pancakes taste dry on her tongue, the orange juice turns sour and Brittany's smile drops when she notices Santana's expression, as if a light switch had just been turned off.

"Did… did I say something wrong?" Brittany asks, beginning to panic but Santana doesn't hear her, her face becomes somewhat vacant again, similar to like it was in the bathtub last night.

"I mean, I-I mean I did really like waking up with you and I'm not just saying that b-because you're… because of yesterday," Brittany stutters and Santana just quietly places her fork on the plate before her gaze wanders around Brittany's room. "Santana? Are you listening?"

Santana wasn't there.

"Santana, please say something?"

* * *

><p>"<em>Please say something?" Miss Pillsbury asks Santana for the third time in her office but Santana just stares aimlessly in front, looking right through the teacher's pukey green sweater and chewing obnoxiously on her gum. "Please stop doing that," Miss Pillsbury asks quietly; it made her skin crawl. Anything unhygienic or unappealing made Miss Pillsbury's skin crawl; she was known as the school's walking detergent dispenser.<em>

_Santana however just stares the guidance councillor up and down, not taking anything seriously with regards to the appointment. _

"_You're going to have to say something before I ask you to leave, you made the appointment with me, remember?" She asks one more time while clasping her hands together in an attempt not to grate her nails down her office desk at Santana's chewing but Santana just shrugs and looks straight into the teacher's grassy green eyes. At least they matched with her clothes, unlike her hair. _

"_You remind me of a bush baby," Santana replies, chewing more obnoxiously than before. "A ginger bush baby," she jokes, wrapping the string of gum around her index finger and holding the rest between her teeth._

"_I'm not entirely sure what that is but that's enough, Santana." Miss Pillsbury shifts uncomfortably, she didn't take too kindly to hair jokes._

"_Let's just say if Dobby and Mrs Weasley ever reproduced, you'd be the product," Santana snorts half-assed and bitter but manages to add in a sarcastic little wink._

"_Making fun of me is _not_ what I had in mind," Miss Pillsbury snaps. "You said you needed to speak to me, why?"_

_Santana clicks her tongue before she finally takes the gum out of her mouth. Her spiteful grin disappears and is replaced by a sneer as she stares down to her lap. She's silent for a moment as she thinks about everything that's happened in the last few months and tries to figure out a way she could put all the drama into words. Miss Pillsbury waits patiently and after a minute, Santana raises her arm and sticks the gum under the office desk before sighing reflectively._

"_I guess you could say I'm being punished."_

* * *

><p>"At least it's the last day of school before winter break!" Brittany tries her hardest to stay positive for Santana but the lack of enthusiasm as her response only discourages Brittany more as they fit into their winter jackets. Santana was just able to squeeze into a water proof fleece that Brittany used to wear when she started freshman year of high school. It was little dated but it kept Santana dry and warm at least.<p>

"Got your gloves?" Brittany asks as she pulls her winter jacket over her head.

"Yep," Santana replies, staring out of the porch window and to her own house which lacked any signs of life. No lights were on; the car was gone from the driveway and frost stubbornly stuck to the windows making it hard for Santana to peek in.

"Hat?" Brittany tugs at her flapper hat, making sure her ears are well covered and warm.

"Uh-huh." When would she be able to collect her own clothes?

"Scarf?" Brittany wraps her scarf around three times, but unravels it once when she thinks back to the poem of Porphyria's Lover she recited yesterday in English class.

"Yes, Brittany," Santana sighs, rolling her eyes. She loves Brittany to bits and is most thankful for Brittany's parents for letting her stay but all she can think about is how exhausted she feels and even Brittany's voice seemed grating.

"Okay and I have our lunch packs since you don't have a bag. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich each but no jelly for you, tub of blackberries each – I made sure to wash them this morning." Brittany rakes through her bag as they wait on the porch but Santana's patience wears thin and she rests her head against the cold glass and closes her eyes to block out the staggering morning light while she waits for Brittany to check their things; everything seemed to be giving her a headache this morning. "Bananas and, uhh… I can't check to see the rest with these gloves on," Brittany struggles, rustling trough the brown paper bags. "Hold on."

"I _really _couldn't care less, Brittany!" Santana snaps, turning around and feeling tremendously flustered under all the layers of Brittany's clothing – she looked like she was going on a damn skiing vacation. "Can we just go so this day can be over already? Stop screwing around with your silly little check-list, it's fine, I don't care!" Santana complains and flails her arms around impatiently as she turns her back again from Brittany. Santana hated Brittany seeing her like this but at the same time, Brittany was the only person now who Santana could really lash out at.

Brittany stops raking through her bag as Santana's words strike a sensitive nerve within her and she holds her tongue, unsure of what to say or how to react.

"Oh… I-I'm sorry, I just thought…" Brittany pauses as she tries to steady the shaky breaths that betray her but her throat only begins to tighten further. "I'm really, _really_ trying my best, Santana. I just want to make you happy, that's all," she says dejectedly, staring down at the brown paper lunch pack that she made for Santana. "I just want to make you happy," she repeats in a whisper.

Santana shuts her eyes tightly in regret. Brittany was the _last_ person she wanted to hurt but hearing the vulnerability that shook through her voice only showcased that she did in fact hurt Brittany's feelings.

"Brittany," Santana croaks but Brittany grabs the handle of the porch door and leaves Santana's lunch pack on the round coffee table next to her.

"I think I'm going to walk to school alone to give you some space, okay? Because I think… I think you need that," Brittany replies as her throat clenches tighter and can't help her bottom lip from quivering. "I'm going to go now."

And with that, she pushes the door open and quickly dashes out without turning back, leaving Santana to make her own way to school with a heavy heart and a pounding head full of thoughts, regrets, worries and most of all, wishes.

* * *

><p>"<em>Tell me, what's the biggest difference between Arizona and Ohio in terms of meeting people?" A doctor with thick, silver hair, a face creased in wrinkles who wears a neatly trimmed goatee sits cross-legged in his leather chair while Brittany faces up to the ceiling as she lays on the couch opposite. It took a while to get a word out of Brittany and even though the progress was slow during her first session, she still made progress.<em>

"_Santana," she replies honestly._

_"And who is this Santana you speak of and why are they the biggest difference?"_

_Brittany thinks for a moment as her eyes trace along the carved patterns of the ceiling. The office used to be an old Victorian home and Brittany admires the architecture; the curves and details that sculpted the walls and the smell of old, dusty books that sit along the shelves, books that haven't been opened in years._

"_She makes me want to be a better person," Brittany whispers truthfully._

"_Any why is that?" The doctor asks, jotting every single word, every movement from Brittany on his sheet. Brittany stays still on the couch but closes her eyes._

"_So one day I can tell her that I _do_ love her," she replies, smiling._

"_She hates me," Santana grits her teeth as she fidgets around in Miss Pillsbury's office. "She told me that I was basically dead to her." She paces quickly, not making eye contact and keeps them glued to the floor instead. "But I don't care, I'm better off without her."_

"_I'm truly sorry to hear that about your mother, Santana. Really, but saying you don't care is not the right way to go about it," Miss Pillsbury answers, genuinely sympathetic to hear about Santana's relationship with her mother. However, Santana just rolls her eyes as she picks up random objects; a snow globe, an electronic pencil sharpener and a fancy fountain pen and looks at them without much attention before setting them down again in different places._

"_Well, like I said, I'm being punished and I accept that," she says rather casually. "I lost my parents, I lost my place as cheer captain, I lost my friends at school and I deserve all of it."_

"_And why is that?"_

_Santana stops and turns to Miss Pillsbury before taking her seat again and looks her dead in the eye._

"_Because I'm the most evil, malicious bitch at this school and I've hurt others like you wouldn't believe," Santana replies emotionlessly. "I've threatened people; I used to think it was funny to pull someone's chair back before they took a seat so they'd fall. Once I did it and the boy broke his tailbone and I laughed at him because he started crying. I've been in fights; I've spat at people and treated them like dog shit. I've said things to people that stopped them from sleeping at night. I've cheated on tests, flirted with teachers and I've lied, a lot. I've practically made every boy at this school cheat on their girlfriend with me," Santana clicks her tongue and laughs at the irony. "I've never had respect at this school; people only did what I said because they were scared of me." _

_Santana doesn't take her eyes away from Miss Pillsbury as they turn dark from the memories of who she used to be, memories of when she was basically her mother. Miss Pillsbury looks almost petrified at the menacing smirk that creeps on Santana's face as she describes her wrongdoing._

"_And… and what happened for you to change?" Miss Pillsbury asks quite innocently, causing Santana's expression to shift as if she was coming out of a daydream. Her eyes revert back to the floor before she begins to speak again and feeling the weight of guilt pack on her shoulders once more. Santana can hear the clock hand tick and with every click, her mind races through the past five months._

"_My biggest punishment… Brittany."_

* * *

><p>"Brittany!" Quinn yelps right behind Brittany's ear, causing her to jolt spastically upright. Brittany whips around immediately to find Quinn grinning like a maniac behind her. "Hey girlfraa-an!"<p>

"Excuse me?" Brittany raises an eyebrow at Quinn's sudden overzealous friendliness.

"Oh, sorry," Quinn giggles, holding a hand over her mouth. "I just couldn't help but notice that you are _totally_ spying on the Cheerio's practicing their routine right now…" Quinn narrows her eyes playfully and points a well-manicured finger at the door next to Brittany's head.

Brittany turns back around briefly and looks through the window to find the group of dancers making a pyramid formation effortlessly.

"Why aren't you joining them?" Brittany asks, facing back to Quinn, studying her cheerio's outfit and noticing how it fit her body much differently from when Santana wore it. Quinn just shrugs, causing her golden ponytail to bounce up and down as she bats her eyelashes.

"I'm cheer captain now, so I can practically do what I want as long as I'm not causing the group to slack," she winks, causing Brittany to frown uncomfortably.

"Okay…" Brittany replies awkwardly. "I need to go," she announces and begins to walk away.

"Wait!" Quinn takes a hold of Brittany's arm, causing her to freeze. Quinn may not have been touching her skin, but her grasp was tight and it unsettled Brittany. "I've seen you watching us dance a couple of times," Quinn observes. "What's with that?"

Brittany takes a breath and turns around to Quinn for the third time. Quinn's expression is soft and there's nothing insincere in the way she looks at Brittany as their eyes meet, yet Quinn can sense the doubt within Brittany when she doesn't reply.

"You don't have to join but you're always welcome to watch us? If you want," Quinn shrugs and offers a toothy smile but Brittany narrows her eyes, why was it the girls who were known to cause the most havoc at this school were being overly nice to her? Santana she understood but Quinn…

"So your friends can laugh at me like they did in the cafeteria when I first started this school?" Brittany challenges her and her feistiness surprises the cheerleader and rather pleasantly at that.

"Wow, Santana must be _really_ rubbing off on you," Quinn smirks, flirting with the idea of the sexual innuendo but Brittany doesn't catch on.

"Anyway," Quinn shakes her head from such thought. "What I _really_ wanted to say was that you seem kinda cool. And I'm sorry for being all up in your face yesterday in English class. Can we call a truce?" Quinn extends her hand, gesturing a handshake like she has done to Brittany before and Brittany looks it, biting her bottom lip.

"Fine," Brittany accepts but is still doubtful and leaves Quinn's hand floating in the air.

"Great! So you wanna come watch us?" Quinn grins, overly pleased with her new acquaintanceship with Brittany.

"Actually, I have to go to Glee Club now with Santana, but thanks."

* * *

><p>"<em>Glee Club<em>!" Quinn yelps behind Santana's ear, only this time it's a pained cry. Santana doesn't budge and just rolls her eyes as she closes her locker door.

"Are you _crazy?"_ Quinn asks through gritted teeth, trying to keep her volume down as people pass by.

"I dunno, ask my friends in white jackets," Santana drones, yawning as she spins the dial of her locker.

"Not funny," Quinn cringes. "You know what else isn't funny?" Quinn lectures Santana as she walks away, skipping to keep up with her. "Glee Club. What the hell are you thinking?"

Santana doesn't reply and doesn't hesitate to walk faster.

"And what the hell are you wearing?" Quinn begins to jog a little. "You're dressed like my grandma did when she went to aerobics in the nineties!"

"Listen," Santana spins around and stops Quinn abruptly in her tracks. "I'm not _that_ girl anymore, I really don't care what you think and I just want this year to be over so I can move on with my life and get the hell out of this stupid place." She sighs, but it's almost like a plea and the gravity in Santana's voice lets Quinn know that she was being one hundred percent serious.

"What's happened?" Quinn asks almost urgently in a more lower, concerned tone, knowing that something must have gone down with her recently.

"Nothing," Santana quickly disregards her question, shifting her eyes across the corridor to make sure no one was listening in before she turns back around to start walking again.

"I don't believe you," Quinn challenges, trying to keep up. "And by the way, I have your bag and shoes, so you better tell me what the hell is going on or else I'll feed those suede babies to my dog."

"Bite me, Fabray!"Santana shouts back and flicking an arm up in the air as she strides away.

"Ten o'clock tonight, my house!" Quinn shouts in reply.

* * *

><p>"<em>Tell me about St. Mary's," the doctor asks calculatedly and the mention of her old school causes Brittany's stomach to drop a little. Her neck suddenly seems to feel stiff and her thumbs rotate around one another as her hands clasp over her stomach nervously.<em>

"_I… I don't think that's, uh..." She swallows. "I don't think that's a very good idea, sir. I don't want to."_

_The room is silent for a moment as the doctor scribbles on his sheet, a hard line forming between his brows as he strokes his goatee with his free hand. "How does it make you feel when you think about St. Mary's?" he asks._

_Brittany frowns and begins rubbing a spot between her ribcage. "It hurts my stomach," she croaks. She tries to focus on one point at the ceiling but her vision becomes distorted, similar to when someone touches her bare skin. "And, and I get hot and nauseous and I don't want to talk about it, thank you very much." Brittany bites her tongue, feeling a sour taste in her mouth as she listens to the pencil scribbling away on the sheet of paper. _

_"I'd like to leave now, please," she states._

* * *

><p>"<em>Can I go now? This was a mistake," Santana sighs, tapping her foot against the wooden panel of the desk as she rests her chin on her hand.<em>

"_Brittany? The girl who started after the summer?" Miss Pillsbury shuffles closer, intrigued as to why Santana would call such a quiet and reserved girl something as degrading as a punishment._

"_Yes, she moved next door to me." Santana picks up the fountain pen she found earlier and begins to draw faces on some scrap paper._

"_And you haven't taken kindly to that?" Miss Pillsbury assumes but Santana shakes her head before dropping the pen and resting her palms face down on the desk._

"_No," Santana whispers. "My biggest punishment will be if I lose her," Santana confesses. She raises her eyes to look at Miss Pillsbury and as expected, the teacher offers a confused expression as a response. People may have guessed but the depth of Santana's relationship with Brittany was never confirmed nor was set in stone at the school, the place too dangerous. But this was all confidential, right? _

"_You see, she means everything to me." Santana continues before clearing her throat, it was just as hard to tell someone how she felt as she thought. Her heart begins racing. _

"_Why would you lose her?" Miss Pillsbury asks as her immaculately plucked brows knit together in concern._

_Santana sits back in her chair, her face reads calm and an inkling of a smile creeps up on the corner of her mouth as pictures of Brittany's face flash up in her though process; her laugh, her voice, her eyes._

"_Because she is the most sweetest, purest, kindest and most beautiful thing on this planet," Santana gushes. "She's one in seven billion." Santana grips her bottom lip between her teeth and glances out of the window. "And I'm not."_

_It was another frosty day; foggy, and even though the sun was battling through the mist, the horizons seemed eerie. _

"_She's my sun and like the sun she brightens up my day, and without her, I wouldn't be here."_

* * *

><p>"So remember, we've booked the choir room for every Tuesday and Thursday during the holidays so we can practice," Rachel Berry tries to keep up with Brittany's fast pace but being somewhat six inches smaller than her proves difficult for Rachel; if only the speed at which she spoke was as fast as her little legs could carry her. "Nationals are just around the corner so we need to be prepared!"<p>

Brittany can see the exit of McKinley and knowing that she had no school for two weeks was like a melody to her ears; _without_ Rachel's voice included, of course.

"And remember, honey is great, so take lots of it over the holidays, avoid smoking and don't go out in the cold unless you're completely covered up," Rachel stresses. "I had laryngitis once and when I found out I couldn't sing at a charity ball, I thought my life was _over_." She exaggerates. "I even sent a letter to the Make a Wish Foundation asking if Barbara Streisand could sing to m in my sick bed but they never got back to me now that I think about it…" she trails off.

_Just ten more steps…_

"And I would avoid speaking at all costs unless it's absolutely necessary, you need to preserve your voice," Rachel continues, linking her arm around Brittany's and holding onto her black French beret as she tries to keep up with Brittany's long legs.

"I think maybe you should take your own advice for that one," Brittany replies, making sure than her hands are dug deeply into her pockets and as far away from Rachel's as possible.

As soon at the double doors open, Brittany is attacked by the vibrant light of the sun which finally managed to break through the winter mist. She squints under the luminosity as it beats down on her and holds a mitted hand in front of her face.

"Thank God! I was starting to think that the apocalypse was near," Rachel sighs, smiling under the light, taking in its rays.

Brittany rubs her eyes before taking her hand away from her face but keeps one eye closed.

"Do you need a ride home?" Rachel asks.

Brittany looks around; searching for Santana but finds it difficult under the ray of beams. She doubts that she was even waiting for her. After all, she didn't show up in Glee club and in fact, she hadn't seen Santana in school at all.

She's about to accept Rachel's offer when out of nowhere, she can make out a familiar silhouette, standing at the top of the ground steps. The yellow fluorescent fleece gives Santana away and Brittany shades the sun from her eyes again to be pleasantly greeted with a boundless smile that spreads across Santana's mouth. A smile that Brittany felt she hadn't seen in a long time.

"Out of all the people at school, I can't believe you're closest with _Santana Lopez_." Rachel shrugs. "You really must be something special, especially for someone like_ her_." There's a slight twang of jealousy apparent in Rachel's voice but Brittany doesn't care; Santana's smile sends a warm array of relief from the tip of Brittany's toes to the top of her head; she is smiling as if she hasn't seen Brittany in years.

"So… about that ride?"

But Brittany doesn't respond. She walks towards Santana's cheerful face and appreciates the way the sun bounces off her dark raven hair. Neither of them can take their eyes off each other and it's like all of the students that rush by erratically completely disappear into irrelevance. She stops in front of Santana but their smiles still remain intact and the random encounter in the middle of the school grounds creates a little bit of an audience for the two girls.

"Hi," Santana greets Brittany a little shyly.

"Hey," Brittany giggles. Santana studies Brittany's face and her smile falters but the loving look in her eyes only grows more profound. She was right. Brittany was her sun, her earth and her life now and she was never going to take advantage of that.

"I missed you," Santana whispers regretfully, realising the way she pushed Brittany away wasn't fair. Brittany breathes out a small laugh and quickly glances to the ground then back to Santana's face.

"I missed you too," she grins.

The pair stands there for a good moment, soaking in each other's presence as they do and they can feel the pairs of eyes start to prey on them but they don't care. Rachel raises an eyebrow, car keys in hand with arms outstretched, ready for anyone to steal them and drive away. Puck stops talking about football to his jock friends for once on the frosty field when he spots the two girls standing closely together in the distance, _too_ close almost and a couple of seconds later, the whole team stops to watch.

Santana latches on to Brittany's jacket and pulls her closer before wrapping her arms around Brittany's waist. Brittany closes her eyes tightly and wraps her arms around Santana's neck and neither of them cares who watches as they envelope each other. The cheerleading squad that lurks around at the bottom of the steps whisper between themselves, Miss Pillsbury smiles from her car at the parking lot and Quinn who watches curiously with arms crossed along with the other dozen students who wonder why Santana Lopez is showing so much affection to the last person they'd thought she would.

"_I love you," _Santana whispers, closing her eyes and letting the truth of her words sink in. It wasn't to convince herself that she did but instead to remind her why this was all worth it. "And I'm so, _so_ sorry."

Brittany clings onto Santana's body as well her words, she opens her eyes slightly and blinks, unable to see anything but the startling light that obscures her vision but as long as she had Santana in her arms, that was all that mattered.

* * *

><p><em>She means a lot to you, this Santana girl, doesn't she?" The doctor concludes and watches as Brittany sighs, calm and collected before nodding.<em>

"_I have this… infatuation with the galaxy, I always have," Brittany begins, keeping her eyes closed as she remembers back to the lake, where she watched the stars with Santana and remembered how each monstrous ball of gas - some which were bigger than the sun - danced like little fireflies in the water, so fragile, so harmless and so beautiful._

"_The giants of galactic space; VY Canis Majoris, Alpha Herculis and U Orionis to name a few of the largest known stars…" Brittany trails off but doesn't lose her point completely._

"_And then I met Santana." She pauses as she tries to put her feelings into a well-constructed sentence like she has tried to do for months._

"_What… what I feel for Santana." She starts to struggle but she's determined to figure out what's she's trying to say._

"_Carry on," the doctor encourages._

"_My feelings… all my feeling for Santana… tingles in my toes." She begins to twiddle her feet. "It's like electricity through my veins, but… but a good feeling, like-like she gives me energy, she makes me feel more alive. Yes. Alive." Brittany nods but that isn't what she's trying to say. She squeezes her eyes tight shut in concentration and rakes through her brain. _

"_My feelings for Santana," she repeats again and this time more calmly as she picks out the right words. After a couple moments, she blinks her eyes open and small smile spreads appears on her lips._

"_My feelings for Santana surpasses beyond how I feel about the galaxy and every single atom known to man." Brittany admits and it's the first time the doctor stops writing to actually listen._

"_Would you say that you were in love with her?" He asks with a smile._

* * *

><p>Santana bangs forcefully on Quinn's bedroom door for the second time but there is still no answer. There was no real reason why she turned up at Quinn's house like she asked. School was officially out so she wouldn't need her things until the next year but here she was, banging on her bedroom door like a maniac.<p>

"Quinn!" she shouts, beginning to lose her patience as she continues to rattle away.

Quinn's parents were out of town which was nothing out of the ordinary, so Santana let herself in even though Quinn always kept herself locked in her bedroom.

"Okay! I'm coming!" Quinn replies with a muffled yell at the other side of the door, before the lock clicks and the door swings open. Quinn stands on the other side, arms resting against her door as she stares Santana up and down. "Come in, shoes are this way," she nods a gesture for Santana to come in and Santana obliges, stepping and in rolling her eyes at the familiar clutter of clothes carpeting the floor, messy bed sheets and a half eaten cupcake on her desk.

"I see you still have this disgusting raspberry colour painted on your walls," Santana grimaces, taking a finger and trailing it along the wall beside her as she walk in.

"I see you're still pissed as ever," Quinn retorts, opening her closet door and raking through her shoes to find Santana's. "I know you've always had this bitchy attitude about you, it actually used to make you exciting but now you're just… A sour-faced _bitch,_" Quinn explains while fishing through her dozens of pairs of shoes. "So what's really going on, Santana?" Quinn pulls out one of Santana's shoes and makes a little victory cheer before noticing the room is rather quiet. "Santana?"

Quinn turns around with one shoe in her hand and finds Santana sitting on the edge of her bed, with her back facing towards her.

"Santana? What's wrong?" Quinn questions again and begins to stand up before hearing a little whimper escaping Santana's lips as her shoulders begin to shake. Quinn stands awkwardly at her closet, unsure what to do or say. She never really seen Santana cry before, Santana would never allow it. "Santana?"

"We used to be good friends, didn't we, Quinn?" Santana bites her bottom lip in an attempt to stop it trembling and rubs her hands across her thighs, back and forth.

"I guess so," Quinn replies cautiously and sets one shoe on the mattress before making her way around the bed to face Santana who doesn't even attempt to hide her face as she wallows in grief.

"I really need a friend to talk to," Santana cries out, unable to stop herself from hiccupping as the tears stream from her eyes. Quinn gulps and falters for a moment on what to do and looks around for a distraction; dealing with someone else's pain was never in Quinn's psyche but her attention reverts back to Santana on the bed and begins to realise how upset she really is.

"Well, you have Brittany?" Quinn asks softly but Santana shakes her head.

"No, you don't understand," she sniffs, wiping her nose with her sleeve. She wore the rainbow sweater that Brittany offered her the night they went to the lake and Quinn notices immediately, raising her brows at Santana for her rather spontaneous sense of style as of late.

"Well then tell me," Quinn asks gently, sitting on the bed next to Santana. "You know, I don't _actually_ hate you and you're right, we used to be close." Quinn smiles genuinely and raises her hand to wipe a tear from Santana's chin, and as she grazes Santana's skin with her thum, Santana wishes so much for the touch to be Brittany's.

Santana closes her eyes and rests her head against Quinn's bare shoulder, feeling the heat from her skin melting onto her cheek and Quinn stiffens up awkwardly. A couple of months ago, Santana would have done no such thing but right now she was vulnerable and it was obvious that one friend wasn't enough. Quinn shifts back a little and then wraps one arm behind Santana.

"Go for it, say what you need to say, I'm sure I can handle it." Quinn jokes and Santana just sighs, catching the rest of her tears in her hand

"You need to promise me, that you won't tell _anyone."_

* * *

><p>"<em>If you're unsure, go back to the start from when you first met Santana and think about all the little things, all the little details that points towards why you feel for her like you do, why you are a better person today," the doctor advises when Brittany struggles to justify her feelings for Santana but she takes his words on board, closes her eyes, takes a breath and brings her mind back to the very beginning:<em>

_** It was Santana's voice that captured Brittany's attention first. It was warm like whiskey and sharp like shells she remembers. Santana was singing her song. Then during the night Brittany__ painted stars on Santana's arms. Santana read her like a book; it made Brittany believe that Santana really saw her, even though they were still strangers. Then not too long after, Santana started showing her true self to Brittany; she told Brittany that the first night they met was the first night she felt good in a long time._

_And it was the night after the lake when they truly became best friends; Brittany spilled her heart and Santana took her to the edge of the earth so she could find it again. They got high together and it brought a series of laughter for the girls, a series that never stopped even when they fell from their high._

_Then things changed, Santana promised to make Brittany better. It was the same night where they played the truth and dare game with the feather and the way she touched Brittany's skin, it left a burning trail and a fire in her heart. Santana then soon spilled her heart out to Brittany on her porch, telling Brittany how she took all of Santana's pain away. Brittany knew because she felt the exact same way about her._

_Then the night of Quinn's part happened, the night of the incident where Santana never left Brittany's side despite the freezing conditions to make sure that she was going to be okay. She was like a guardian angel. Another thing she would never forget was the walk home after the party where Santana finally admitted that she was in love with Brittany and had been so since the day they first met. Brittany said she loved her back, even though she didn't know how it felt. But remembering that moment now, all the raw emotion from the first word to the last tear all came from love. Brittany realises it now._

_The first night they fell asleep together in Santana's bedroom; it was the second time they were intimate but every touch from Santana, the way she used her hands on Brittany's body was a memory that will stay locked in Brittany's mind forever._

_Everything they've been through in the last few months, then then for Santana's mother to find out. Santana still stood up for what she believed to have with Brittany. And Brittany believes it too. **_

_Brittany smiles and opens her eyes and it's like a completely new light captures her vision. Every edge of every object deems sharper, the colours that paint around the room are saturated further and shapes are more defined. It was like Brittany was seeing everything for the first time in a new light._

"_What do you say?" The doctor asks gently. Brittany licks her lips and flexes her fingers before smirking._

"_Unlike a star that will fizzle out eventually, my feelings for Santana will never waver. Because what I feel for Santana is what she feels for me and that is absolute and unconditional love," Brittany whispers and can't help but giggle._

"_So, to answer your question, sir. Yes, I am in love with Santana Lopez."_

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter XV<em>

**Thanks again for your patience and **thanks of course to Bekah, my lovely beta.** **

**I_ promise_ the next update won't take as long. Plus, it's the Christmas/New Year chapters coming up and wishes really do come true. ;)**


	16. Chapter XVI

_[AN] FF is such a troll. Anyways, here's the next instalment to TGND. The next few chapters are rather heavy when it comes to intimacy, so this chapter is a M for reasons. ;)_

_**_CHAPTER XVI_**_

* * *

><p>Christmas time: Brittany's favourite time of year. Like every other kid, the thrill of staying up for as long as you could just in hope that you'd catch a glimpse of Santa and his reindeer soaring through the skies above was enough to make Brittany's heart flutter with excitement. She even swore every year growing up that she could hear his sleigh bells in the distance, ringing away as he drew closer to her home and even now, when Brittany was aware that Mr. Claus was merely a child's fantasy, she could never shake that feeling of exhilaration whenever the enchanting date approached. In fact, it was her outright merriment that lifted everyone else's Christmas spirits higher, because after all, Christmas time was a time when the magic <em>really<em> happened, when wishes came true and people were brought together to celebrate. And every year, Brittany prayed the most on Christmas in hope that one day she would finally get better and being Christmas Eve, Brittany couldn't shake the beaming smile off her face.

"And there she goes…" Grace hides her mouth behind her hand in an attempt to control her laughter while Brittany snorts at the dining table, face scrunched up and nostrils flaring as she chuckles uncontrollably as the family sit down for a Christmas Eve supper under candle light. James roars along with his daughter, slapping his palm on the varnished oak with one hand and holding on his food-filled stomach with the other. Santana fills the additional fourth chair, staring at the family as they cry tears of laughter and can't help the few amused giggles that escape her own mouth.

Brittany wipes the tears away from her eyes with her napkin, forgetting why she was even laughing in the first place and finds Santana glancing back at the opposite of the end of the table with her head cocked to the side like a curious puppy. She looks at Brittany with a loving look, as if she had just discovered the most precious thing in the world. Santana wears her hair down with her side bangs pinned back by a hair clip shaped like a bow and decorated with red sequins. She wears a red sweater to match and Brittany can't help but feel elated about the fact that this girl was actually _hers._

Overcome with contentment, Brittany clears her throat and looks down at her banana split, unable to relax her face muscles as she grins bashfully while her parents gloat away in their own little bubble. She glances back up to Santana again and watches her lips as she mouths '_I love you,' _forming a heart shape with her fingers over her chest. Yes, Christmas was definitely here.

"You can never shake the beans outta Brittany at this time of year," James explains, taking a swig of his chilled beer before giving out a satisfied sigh.

Santana purses her lips and raises a brow while she watches the glow that radiates off Brittany's face as she bobs her head back and forth to the Christmas music playing in the background. She even goes as far doing the arm wave in her seat that sends the family into another fit of giggles. Santana rests her elbow on the table and her head in her hand as she watches with humour. She had never seen her Brittany like this; so blissful and confident, it made her heart sing.

"I aint no beanstalk!," Brittany rolls her eyes playfully and stops to pick up her fork before cutting into her dessert. "I'm Brittany!" she states enthusiastically, cramming the sweet banana in her mouth as ice-cream drips down her chin, causing Santana to snort out. Brittany stops with the fork in her mouth to watch Santana vibrating in her seat and not too long after, Brittany joins her as she coughs out and covers her mouth, trying not to spit the foot back out.

Grace and James look at the two girls as they slap their knees, sway around as if they were drunk and produce nothing but silent giggles as tears sting at their youthful eyes. Grace then glances at James who with a knowing look and he understands the look immediately. They were young together once and watching their daughter with Santana now, it felt like sweet nostalgia.

"Teenage girls these days," James sighs in his deep southern accent. "You never know what they're thinking."

Santana shakes her head and turns her attention back to her own dessert, scrunching the napkin up in her fist as light from the candles flickers around her.

"So honey, how did your session with Dr. Phelps go yesterday? That was your third time, right?" James asks, leaning over and dipping his spoon into Brittany's bowl, taking a lump of vanilla ice cream before popping the spoon into his mouth. Brittany folds her arms and narrows her eyes, pouting in disapproval.

"We talked and stuff," Brittany replies vaguely, pulling her bowl closer to her chest and further from her father. She didn't mind really, but the banana split was far too nice to share.

"What kind of things did you talk about, honey?" Grace asks and Brittany doesn't answer back immediately. Instead, she looks up from her bowl again and offers Santana a sweet smile before returning her attention to her dessert.

"That's confidential, top secret information that I can't discuss," Brittany replies sneakily, drawing her fork around the melted ice-cream and scores a love heart shape in the middle of the bowl before it vanishes under the cream again but not before Santana catches it, making her grin behind her napkin as she wipes her mouth.

"But we _did_ talk about Santana," she admits and lays the fork to rest and clasps her hands, resting her chin on top of them and flashes a quick smirk for her mother before glancing back at Santana.

The corners of Santana's lips curl up and her cheeks flourish to the colour of the red napkin in her hand when Grace and James mimic Brittany. For someone who grew up craving attention, the three sets of eyes are definitely more than enough to make her feel flustered. The dining room is silent for a moment as the jukebox changes track and Santana shrugs shyly as she stares down to her empty bowl, trying to calm her pounding heart. She isn't embarrassed but the adults' curious glances make her rather nervous.

"I'm sure it was all wonderful things," Grace coos in reply to Brittany. "We really are grateful for you to be a part of our daughter's life."

"She's my best friend," Brittany smiles. "She's the best thing that's happened to me."

Santana slowly swallows, feeling as if she is really being appreciated for the first time in a long time. She glances back up and as expected, Brittany keeps her eyes fixated upon her, showing that every word was meant, every expression was accurate and that this was where Santana wants to be; with Brittany, Grace and James.

* * *

><p><em>"She's my soulmate, there's no other way to describe her," Santana fawns, sighing as her head hits Quinn's pillow. Quinn sits in the same position at the edge of the bed where Santana revealed everything: her relationship with Brittany, and her disorders. It was a great chunk to take in and Quinn was having a difficult time processing it.<em>

_She doesn't know what to say as she sits staring at her feet with her lips parted, puling at the sleeve of her cardigan. She would have never guessed Santana's situation to be so complex but it justified the way she had been acting as of late and if she was being honest with herself, Santana's relationship with Brittany made Quinn's cold heart flutter._

_"I'm so sorry, I feel terrible," Quinn begins and Santana just stares at the ceiling, praying that her decision to be frank with Quinn was the right choice._

_"She's worth it," Santana whispers, wiping her damp and tired eyes with the back of her hand. Quinn nods and smiles softly; she always found Brittany to be rather extraordinary and now it all made sense._

_"You're in love with her?" Quinn asks. Santana takes a deep breath and moves her right hand up to her chest where she finds the key resting around the silver chain above her heart. She takes it into her palm and closes her fingers around it before nodding._

_"I love her to the moon and back," Santana replies._

* * *

><p>"That's the Mare Serenitatis; the Sea of Serenity," Brittany whispers in Santana's ear as she comes up behind her, extending her arm past Santana's shoulder while pointing to the moon. "You see it? The dark patch that looks like the right eye that is."<p>

Santana stares at the sky, deep in thought as she thinks back to her conversation with Quinn last week. Sitting on Brittany's window ledge with her knees curled to her chest, she grins when she feels Brittany pressed up behind her.

"I see you," Santana replies, turning her head to find Brittany's only inches away. Brittany eyes flicker down to Santana's lips then up to her eyes. A couple of months ago she would have torn herself away in an instant but every day she was feeling more comfortable being around Santana, being so close to her. Therapy helped as well, of course.

"That's because I'm here, silly," Brittany whispers, climbing onto the window ledge next to Santana who just shakes her head as she turns her attention to her house and to the empty bedroom that was once her own. Santana takes a deep breath and Brittany follows her gaze from Santana's now sombre expression to the other house.

"Do you miss her?" Brittany whispers. Santana glances into her bedroom, the lights are switched in the top landing of the other house and it spills out into her old bedroom from where the door has been left open. She can see her bed where fresh sheets are folded neatly and placed up on the bare mattress; they're basic, unlike the purple or black silk or patterned sheets that Santana would usually have. Her walls are still naked from where she stripped down her trophies and certificates; there are piles of boxes that are stacked next to the closet which are most likely her clothes. It didn't even look like her room anymore.

"No," Santana replies quietly, making sure that she doesn't disturb the quiet night, but as soon as she does, she can feel a void begin to build in her heart that causes her to exhale a shaky breath, letting Brittany know that she was most definitely still fragile.

Brittany dips her head onto Santana's shoulder in an attempt to comfort her before facing down and pressing her lips behind Santana's neck, giving her a gentle kiss above the material of her red sweater. Santana closes her eyes and her lips twitch when she feels the heat from Brittany's breath. She knows that Christmas was never going to be the same with her family but at the same time, she was with Brittany now and for that she was grateful.

"You got all the presents wrapped?" Brittany asks as she returns to resting her chin on Santana's shoulder while Santana nods her head.

"Yup," she replies.

"Good," Brittany says before retreating from the window ledge. Santana almost falls back from the loss of contact but manages to regain her balance. She gazes up to frosty the night sky where there isn't a cloud in sight, letting the stars glimmer above her head in a dance, it was hypnotising; it was like listening to a song that only Santana could hear. It being Christmas Eve however, the night was a little magical after all and as if Brittany could also hear the night's lullaby calling, Frank Sinatra's 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas' begins to play in the background. Santana smiles, takes hold of the window's rungs and pushes the shutter up to let some of the icy air in.

_Have yourself a merry little Christmas,_

_Let your heart be light,_

_From now on our troubles will be out of sight. _

Despite the chill air that intrudes the room, warmth still radiates through Santana, causing her to beam up in to the night as she closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and rests her head against the wall. Brittany sure knew how to read her mind.

Brittany clears her throat purposely to grab Santana's attention. She spins and turns her head to find Brittany smirking behind her, offering Santana her fully knitted mitten. Santana raises a brow in confusion but turns her body around anyway and takes her hand.

"How chivalrous of you," Santana jokes but is still at a loss as she stands up to face opposite Brittany.

"Santana?" Brittany asks sweetly, batting her eyelashes and biting her lip, feeling a little cautious. Santana narrows her eyes. Brittany twists a lock of her sandy hair around her fingers of her free hand and twists her feet so she's standing pigeon-toed. "Santana, would you… would you like to dance with me?" she asks nervously. Santana raises her brows with surprise, she expected a marriage proposal before she thought Brittany would ever ask her to dance.

"I thought you didn't dance?" Santana asks but Brittany begins to lead them to the middle of the room. She spins around and takes Santana's waist, pulling her closer and Santana obliges rather happily resting her hand on Brittany's shoulder.

_Have yourself a merry little Christmas,_

_Make the Yuletide gay,_

_From now on our troubles will be miles away. _

"I'm dancing now," Brittany eventually replies as they begin a simple waltz around the room with Brittany leading. Santana looks down to their feet to find the rhythm; she may have been the star player for the Cheerios but this kind of dance was on a whole new level. She tries to keep up with Brittany's effortless footwork but soon she feels as ridiculous as Bambi on ice.

"Damn, I suck," Santana giggles bashfully up to Brittany, watching as her deep blue eyes gleam with amusement.

Brittany's revaluates the choreography and this time she takes Santana's wrists and brings them up and past her own shoulders until Santana has her arms around her neck. She then places both her hands on Santana's hips, encouraging her to scoot even close before circling her arms around the bottom of her back. They gaze at each other as they sway to the music, Brittany in her favourite duck one-piece and Santana in Brittany's old hand knitted, red festive sweater and black skinny jeans.

_Here we are as in olden days,_

_Happy golden days of yore._

_Faithful friends who are dear to us,_

_Travel near to us once more._

* * *

><p>"<em>I trust that over the years your disorder resulted in another condition, aphephobia is that correct?" The doctor looks through his notes, fixing the glasses that rest on his nose and frowning deeply as he reads.<em>

"_That's correct," Brittany nods. She sits up this time with her hands squeezed nervously between her knees. "I-I get in a panic when I get close to someone."_

"_And is this a proximity issue, physical touching or a bit of both?"_

"_A bit of both I believe… Yeah," Brittany breathes out. "I mean, I mean if I don't really know someone and…" she breaks the conversation to watch a pigeon that flaps around frantically on the window-sill outside. "If they try to get close to me, I get real nervous… really nervous." Brittany takes her bottom lip between her teeth and begins to rub her knees. "I mean, I can get close to people, if I trust them enough, but if you try getting too close… touching close then I'll get scared," she finishes, narrowing her eyes towards the hysterical pigeon. "Just like a bird." _

"_Can you give me an example of a time maybe, when you've felt like this?" Dr. Phelps asks and Brittany silently nods but her attention is with the bird. It's almost as if the poor scraggly thing is trying to fly free but he can't._

"_I'd like you to give me an example, Brittany, if you can?" He repeats patiently and Brittany turn back to face him before inhaling a gulp of air._

"_Oh!" She blurts out, pulling at the fingers of her gloves nervously. "I'm sorry, uh… well," she begins to shift uncomfortably on the couch, fussing over the way her flapper hat makes her scalp itch and the way her palms sweat under the tweed gloves, especially being inside an overheated room. _

"_My clothes," she begins as she starts to roll one glove off her hand. "You see, I need to make sure I'm covered right up." _

"_Why is that?"_

_Brittany looks at the doctor then back to her now bare hands._

"_Because…" she whispers, flexing her fingers. "Because I…" She stares at her hands for a moment before frowning and dropping her gloves to the floor. _

"_Take your time, Brittany. Really think as to why you can't allow others to touch you."_

_Brittany stares long and hard at the definitions of her hands, the shape of her nails, the wrinkles in the knuckles of her fingers; she never really paid attention to them before. She raises an arm to remove her hat before brushing a hand through her fair hair, she never really noticed how soft and manageable it actually was as it flows down past her shoulders. She then goes for the buttons of her jacket and wiggles out of that until she's left with only her black and white long sleeved striped t-shirt with shorts and long socks that reach past her knees. _

"_Because I don't want anyone to hurt me," she eventually replies, lifting her legs and folding her knees across the couch. The doctor offers a concerned look before he's back to jotting down his analysis in his journal. Brittany can feel the blood rush to her cheeks as the dark feeling of shame washes over her. She doesn't like being analysed; it makes her feel like a lab rat. In her peripheral vision she can still see the pigeon struggle to take flight as it hops around, flapping its wings. She looks at him and can't help but feel his pain. _

"_You and me both," she whispers under her breath, feeling all the more bitter. _

"_Why do you think it will hurt you?" He asks. _

"_I don't think I know," Brittany sighs nonchalantly. "I'm my own self, sir. I know that if someone touches my hand or my face or any other part of my body for that matter that it's going to hurt," she says firmly, not stealing her eyes away from the pigeon. "You… you don't know what it's like; the panic, the tremors, the nightmares..." she trails off as the doctor listens intently, scribbling down her statements in shorthand and nodding along before Brittany finishes. "It's the way it has always been, it's supposed to be like this so I have to stay safe."_

_The doctor narrows his eyes on Brittany's finishing statement and rubs his hands together, leaning forward and scratches his chin while taking a deep breath. _

"_Have you ever thought that this anxiety you feel is in connection with your Asperger's?" he asks but Brittany surprisingly shakes her head, disagreeing. _

"_I'm aware of my disorder and I accept that, I will have it for the rest of my life but it's okay, I can live with it," she replies, diminishing such theory._

"_How many people in your new school know about your Asperger's syndrome, Brittany?" He tries again. Brittany begins to scratch the red nail varnish off her thumb, keeping her gaze locked on to the window._

"_The staff and Santana," she replies coldly._

"_Would you say you are ashamed?"_

_Brittany swallows but doesn't answer his question._

"_I accept having Asperger's syndrome, sir," she repeats. _

"_You used to be quite the dancer, didn't you?" _

_Brittany nods._

"_What happened with that?"_

"_I stopped."_

"_Why?"_

_Brittany takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, trying to remember back to when she spent most of her time alone in ballet class, for countless hours from dawn straight through until dusk._

* * *

><p>Santana rests her head on Brittany's chest, which enables her to feel every heartbeat of Brittany's against her cheek as they sway contently.<p>

_Through the years we all will be together,_

_If the fates allow._

_Hang a shining star upon the highest bough,_

_And have yourself a merry little Christmas now._

"I grew up thinking I'd never be intimate with someone," Brittany tells Santana, sharing her thoughts from her last date with the therapist. Santana opens her eyes and gently tilts her chin up to face Brittany.

"What do you mean?" she asks, her voice is raspy from tiredness as the night was growing older. Brittany takes a moment to study Santana's face and can't shake the way her eyes penetrates into her own, dark as coal yet full of soul. Her skin is smooth and despite Santana being Latina, her plump red lips and dark hair reminds her of Snow White. The more she looks at Santana, the more she sinks under her spell, just like in a fairytale.

"Dancing was once my passion, it was my escape; just me and the music," Brittany whispers, pulling Santana closer so that their stomachs are pressed against each other. "I'd dance by myself for hours during classes and at home. But I got older and my condition became more of a problem and I soon realised that dancing was an intimate sport." Santana didn't notice it till now, but the way Brittany talked about dance seemed almost normal, she was tranquil in a way that Santana would have never guessed that she was burdened by so many problems if she hadn't already known. There was no stuttering, no wandering eyes nor flinching at all.

"The girls and boys who I grew up dancing with were always partnered together in group numbers and I was always left on my own. I just couldn't bring myself to let anyone else control or lead me in that way." Brittany watches their feet now as they rotate in circles and Santana listens, catching every detail of Brittany's wistful expression.

"Then instead of going to dance class to escape, I would go and come home depressed, knowing that I couldn't participate and eventually, I lost my passion for it all together. It was gone," she finishes, rather sadly. Santana holds her gaze and rubs a spot behind Brittany's neck.

"But you're dancing with me now," Santana replies softly and Brittany looks up at her and smiles.

"Bittersweet," Brittany quietly laughs. "I've never danced with anyone else in my entire life."

Santana cocks an eyebrow and smirks.

"I'm privileged. You're quite the leader," Santana grins as she rests her head back onto Brittany's chest.

"Well," Brittany shrugs, "I have spent years watching my mom and papa dance; they're the real teachers."

Santana nods softly and holds Brittany closer as the song comes to an end. She moves her arms from around Brittany's neck to around her waist before gliding her palms up Brittany's back.

"It's perfect, this moment." Santana says almost in a daze.

_Hang a shining star upon the highest bough,_

_And have yourself a merry little Christmas now._

"Santana?" Brittany whispers when the song finishes and soon the track changes to a piano instrumental of Silent Night. Santana turns back to Brittany once more who looks down on her with an intense expression as if she was deciding between two conflicting thoughts.

"Yes?" Santana asks as her heart quickens with a sudden unknown anticipation. Brittany looks down to Santana's lips for a couple of seconds then back to her eyes and Santana realises immediately that Brittany is contemplating if she should kiss her or not.

Brittany's mind is surging, overcome with a powerful need for Santana in every way possible. She doesn't know what it is but after explaining to Santana about her dance history and her issues of intimacy, she feels her blood begin to boil as if she only now realised that she could in fact be intimate, because she was, right there in that moment with Santana.

She's undoubtedly blushing right now, she can practically feel the heat seep through her pores and as well as her heart crashing against her chest. Santana looks at her, inviting her completely with her eyes and all Brittany has to do is dip her head closer to Santana's. She does, and Santana's breath hitches in surprise. Their lips don't touch but they're merely centimetres apart.

They've been in this situation before but their need for each other is only amplified the longer they wait. Their breaths are hot against the other's skin as their lips dance around each other, testing each other's limits. Brittany wants to kiss her so bad, _too_ bad. The invisible string that was attached to them when they first met was inevitably becoming shorter and shorter now that they were living under the same roof. Each glance, each touch, each little peck. The way they held each other and spoke of one another, the way they flirt and especially in the way fought; the sexual tension could be cut with a knife and they both know that something would have to happen sooner or later or else they'd be damned for the rest of their time together.

They silently beg each other for them to make the first move; Santana closes her eyes and Brittany leans in even closer yet is still unconvinced that she can actually do this. They are now a slight twitch away from each other's lips and the anticipation pumps adrenaline through their bodies, creating a buzz that they both can feel. Just one tiny head movement and they will have what they've been craving for so long.

"Please, Brittany," Santana breathes into Brittany's mouth while pressing the tips of her fingers into Brittany's back and Brittany almost hisses.

"Just to let ya know the bathroom's free!" The positive chirping from Brittany mother comes from outside in the hall before Brittany's bedroom door cracks open and Grace pops her head in. Her eyes fall onto the two teenagers who still have their arms securely wrapped around one another. They glare back while wearing matching wide-mouthed, wide-eyed, shocked expressions. Grace notices their compromising position and nearly falls back out of the room.

"Sorry!" She blurts out but neither her daughter nor Santana seem to move, they're frozen. "I'll let you uhh… I'm just gonna go downstairs."

And with that, she slowly and gently closes the door behind them, leaving Brittany and Santana still pretty much standing solid on the spot as their heart race in time with each other.

After a moment, Brittany slowly turns her head back to Santana who quickly lets go as she too comes out of her phase.

"I um… I need to go for," Santana nervously laughs, stepping back from Brittany. "I need a shower," she finishes and quickly dashes to the door in an instant, leaving Brittany in the middle of her room, a little more than hot and bothered as she practically sweats under her one-piece.

"Get your shit together, Santana!" she says breathlessly, looking into the familiar mirror and remembering back to when she was in a similar situation the first time something like this happened. "You're cool, you got this," she tells herself. She would never admit to herself that she was sexually frustrated but the truth is that she was, and every touch or even the slightest suggestive look from Brittany was really starting to rub off on her. After all, it had been almost half a year since she was...

"Fucked, I'm fucked." Santana closes her eyes and slowly breathes out before shuffling towards to the shower cubicle. She reaches in and turns the knob and soon the water begins to spray out from the nozzle. She unclips the brass key necklace and sets it in the empty soap dish at the sink before looking back at herself in the mirror again. She flexes her shoulders, tilts her head from side to side, takes the bow hair clip out of her head and rubs her scalp before grabbing the hem of her red sweater, pulling it up and over her head.

* * *

><p>Brittany pulls the zipper down the front of her onesie to just above her belly button, flailing onto her bed in a desperate attempt to cool down. She was so close to what she really wanted and it only made her crave it even more. She wanted Santana, she wanted her everywhere and she couldn't stop thinking about her until she had her fully. She doesn't know if she can go on much longer, she <em>is<em> a teenager after all and her hormones are currently bouncing from Ohio to Hong Kong, without any direction and it was beginning to really grate on her.

She runs a hand through her hair before dropping her hands to where the middle of her chest is exposed from her one-piece. She rubs the skin in the middle of her stomach then trails a finger down the line to above her navel before bringing her finger back up again. She wonders that if her hands were actually Santana's, would it feel any different. Her eyes dart to her bedroom door to make sure that the landing was completely isolated before looking up to her ceiling. She could always _imagine_ it was Santana's hands on her body.

She hesitantly grabs the zipper to her pyjamas again and slowly trails it down to below her belly button this time before stopping at her waist. She raises her left arm and rests it behind her head and places her other over her stomach but doesn't make contact just yet. She closes her eyes, imagining that Santana is lying next to her, feeling the heat from her hand and thinking back to the truth and dare game with the feather before she lightly trails her fingertip on the smooth skin of her stomach. She stops and opens her eyes again before smirking as she pictures Santana whispering '_relax'_ in her ear.

* * *

><p>Santana lets out a little squeal as the cold water sprays on her back, hopping from one foot to the other and soon discovers another way to gain brain freeze. <em>Too cold…<em> she finally gathers when her brain begins to warm up again and turns around to set the dial on the thermometer, with one of her feet raised to test the water. She stops when the water is cool, not too cold yet enough that her skin is still remains like a turkey's. - The things she has to do to shake Brittany from her mind. She dips her head under the nozzle again, wetting her hair and takes the shampoo bottle from the shelf and lets out a chattering giggle from cold. She spins around again and squirts a handful of Pantene Pro-V into her palm and watches as miniature bubbles escape the bottle that eventually results in her finding the shower radio on the cubicle door.

"Nice," she smiles to herself, raising an eyebrow. She takes her free hand and switches the device on and instantly 'Closer' from Nine Inch Nails begins to play.

_You let me violate you,_

_You let me desecrate you,_

"Holy shit," Santana whispers, could they even play this song on the radio?

_You let me penetrate you,_

_You let me complicate you. _

Santana glares at the radio but doesn't change the station or turn it off. Instead, she simply steps back into the cool shower forgetting about the shampoo in her hand as the water trickles down her hot back.

_Help me; I've broke apart my insides,_

_Help me; I've got no soul to sell._

* * *

><p>Brittany rubs the spots where Santana previously did in her own bedroom. She circles her thumb across her hip and trails her pointer finger up her torso before reaching her hand underneath the fabric of her one-piece and begins to massage underneath her breast, teasing, imagining that it was Santana instead.<p>

_Help me; the only thing that works for me,_

_Help me get away from myself. _

She bites down on her lower lip, closing her eyes when she grazes her thumb across her nipple before kneading her whole breast in her palm and is surprised at the pleasure it brings. Her fingertips and toes soon begin to tingle as she begins to massage more firmly, making sure to pay as much attention to her other breast and not too long after she's whimpering, sensitive from her own delicate touch.

_I wanna f**k you like an animal,_

_Santana knows what the word was, despite it being censored by the radio but for the rest of the song, it's all she can make out. _

_I wanna feel you from the inside._

* * *

><p>Santana leans her head back onto the glass and crinkles her face when the water splashes on the skin before opening her mouth to take a breath and stepping back forward. She turns to the thermometer and latches onto the dial again.<p>

_I wanna fuck you like an animal,_

_My whole existence is flawed._

She spins the dial back to the previous setting and waits until the water turns even colder.

_You get me closer to God._

She jumps back in and hisses as the water stings her shoulders, a shattering chill vibrates through her spine but she doesn't move. Instead, she places her left hand onto the tiles in front of her and squeezes her eyes shut as the ice cold water spits down her back and her torso, nipping her skin but after a while, Santana finds it to feel pleasurable more than anything.

_You can have my isolation; you can have the hate that it brings._

She uses both hands on the tiles now to keep her balance all while a smile creeps on her lips, despite the headache that soon approaches. She shudders and lets out a shaky breath, curling her toes.

_You can have my absence of faith; you can have my everything. _

_Help me tear down my reason,_

_Help me; it's your sex I can smell._

* * *

><p>Brittany drops her head back onto the pillow and lets out a moan while her hands work on her body that is slick with sweat. She roughly trails her hand through her hair, taking a lock in her fist and pulling at it as she rolls her hips against her other hand that has found itself below her waist and in between her legs.<p>

_Help me; you make me perfect,_

_Help me become somebody else. _

She can feel a spark ignite deep within her but instead of the usual fire burning in her blood, electricity sparks and courses though veins like poison; it makes every single hair on her body stand up.

_I wanna fuck you like an animal. _

_I wanna feel you from the inside. _

She squeezes her eyes shut as she rubs her most sensitive spot that sends jolts through her body, she moans out as her body cries out from the currents of electricity building up.

_I wanna fuck you like an animal,_

_My whole existence is flawed. _

She works faster, rotating her hand and rubbing just the way Santana did until she's clinging on the bed sheet, almost holding onto dear life as her eyes roll to the back of her head. She is so _wet._

_You get me closer to God._

* * *

><p>Santana digs her nails into her scalp as she rinses the shampoo out of her hair. The water is still cold but Santana can no longer feel it as her body only burns with passion.<p>

_Through every forest, above the trees,_

_Within my stomach, scraped off my knees._

She keeps her eyes closed as she moves her hair across to one shoulder, leaving her bare shoulder exposed to the shower nozzle as the water hits her collarbone, letting the water cascade down her chest and stomach, licking her skin. She cranes her neck and groans, rubbing a tender spot in the back of her neck.

Once the song finishes, she finally opens her eyes and looks into the fitted wall mirror opposite her. She's smirking and it almost reminds her of her old self, only this time she isn't fuelled by anger but desire. That is until her eyes grow wide.

"Holy hell, I'm a masochist." She blurts out and almost instantly she finds the water patting against her skin become painfully cold and once again, she shrieks out and hops out of the way before turning the dial to a much warmer setting.

* * *

><p>Brittany has to cover her face with her pillow as her body explodes into a million tremors while electric currents palpitate through her veins and into the pit of her stomach. She groans out, trying to stifle most of the noise with her pillow but then throws it away as she arches her back, trying to take what she can get from her high.<p>

She's still panting, lying limp on the bed when Santana walks in casually with just her towel wrapped around her. She notices Brittany lying spent in the middle of the bed, looking as if she had just run a marathon and it doesn't take long for Santana to put two and two together. Brittany is already covering herself up with her bed sheets when Santana turns back around immediately and walks out, shutting the door behind her.

Brittany stares at the door while she tries to catch her breath, holding her duvet in front of her and soon another heated flush attacks her body. On the other end of the door, Santana leans her back against the wall with one hand covering her mouth, unable stop the tickled grin that forms upon her lips as a little giggle escape her mouth.

"You decent?" Santana eventually shouts through the crack of the door. There's a muffled sound and the noise of a zipper being pulled up before Brittany replies.

"You can come in," Brittany shouts back. Santana licks her lips, nods to herself and tries to hide the grin on her lips by disguising it with a relaxed expression as she re-enters Brittany's bedroom.

Brittany sits on the edge of her bed, one-piece zipped up, back straight with her arms in her lap. Santana shuts the door behind her and turns to look at Brittany. Her expression is unreadable but her cheeks are flushed and Santana notices the glow that radiates from her skin and of course, she can smell the sweet scent of sex.

Brittany doesn't make eye contact. Instead, she wanders her eyes around the room, trying to distract herself from the situation altogether, but when her eyes fall on Santana again, she sees her beginning to crack a smile before a full blown giggle escapes Santana's lips.

"I'm sorry," Santana snorts, trying to make a joke out of the situation but Brittany shifts uncomfortably, before standing up.

"I need to go t'bathroom," Brittany replies hurriedly before she skips to the door without making eyes contact. Santana steps to the side to let her past, nodding. She understood completely but she couldn't help but get the last laugh. At least it was just Santana in this dilemma and that immediately makes her feel better.

* * *

><p>When Brittany returns, she's dressed in a polka-dot long-sleeved night dress. Her expression is wary as she enters her room but any awkwardness is diminished when she finds Santana lying on her side of the bed, closest to the door, propped up on her elbow, greeting her with a tired smile like she did every night.<p>

"Don't laugh," Brittany asks, just to make sure but Santana just winks and grins wider.

"Just get into bed, I want to get my cuddle on," Santana replies in a snarky but playful tone. Brittany sticks her tongue out and runs up to the bed before leaping over Santana and onto her side.

Once they're both snuggled under the duvet, they face the ceiling, reflecting on the night's events as a couple; it had become a regular occurrence since Santana moved in. The room is silent for a couple of minutes and Santana wonders if Brittany has dozed off, she tilts her head to face the blonde but Brittany's eyes are still tracing pictures along the ceiling.

"Your mom's face…" Santana whispers randomly and her lips shake as she tries not crack a smile. Brittany purses her lips but doesn't say anything.

"_Your_ face," Santana continues and it's all she manages to let out before snorting loudly. She watches Brittany taking a deep breath and rolling her eyes and soon Santana's cackling out obnoxiously, so much so that she hides her face with her arm to stop the fully fledged laughter that escapes her lungs.

"Shh! You're gonna wake my parents up!" Brittany scolds her, darting Santana a disapproving look but it's hard to stay serious after she sees the look on Santana's face. She was tired, slap happy even, and she looked adorable.

"So, how did it feel? Poppin' the good ole cherry, honey?" Santana teases, turning her body to face Brittany as she rests her right arm across Brittany's waist.

"I didn't pop any cherry!" Brittany retorts. "I simply flicked the bean, I'm sure you know what _that_ feels like," she replies seriously.

Santana widens her eyes before roaring into a fit of giggles again while Brittany grimaces.

Santana slaps the duvet and rolls back and forth a few times until her chuckles get drowned in her pillow when Brittany plops it on top of her head.

"Okay, okay," Santana takes deep breaths to stop her laughter before arising from the bed sheets. "First you're doing the dirty with yourself and now you're talking back at me figuratively? What did you do to my girlfriend?"

Brittany has had enough and decides to take a stand. She straightens up, turns towards Santana and hovers over her.

"I am seventeen years of age." Brittany begins as Santana giggles under the duvet. "I am a flower; a pink lily even which technically means that I am a unicorn. I can be anything I want to be, you see; I am Brittany." Brittany responds, sighing deeply as she retreats to lying on her back again. Santana tries to make the calculation in her head but remains at a loss, so she does what she does best and shuffles along the bed to rest her head on Brittany's stomach.

"That's the cutest damn thing I've ever heard in my life," she whispers. "But then what does that make me?" She raises her chin to look up to Brittany whose eyes drop from the ceiling and down to hers.

"That makes you a cat," Brittany responds and Santana silently chuckles, nodding her head and nuzzling further into Brittany's torso.

"Makes sense," Santana yawns.

Another wave of silence settles the room and only the clock ticking can be heard as the girls grow tired, yet the anticipation for the days to comes still mingle in the back of their minds.

"Santana?" Brittany asks calmly.

"Mm-hmm?"

"You called me your girlfriend," Brittany tells her, responding to Santana's earlier statement.

Santana blinks her eyes open again and stares at the blank wall opposite her.

"So I did," Santana whispers.

"I liked it. I liked you calling me your girlfriend." Brittany smiles, rubbing the bottom of Santana's back.

"I liked calling you my girlfriend." Santana scrunches her nose in response. "It's nice."

"Santana?" Brittany asks again.

"Hmm…" Santana hums quietly as she balances on the brink of sleep.

"Merry Christmas," Brittany announces and Santana lazily smiles into Brittany's night dress.

"Merr'chri-mas," she mumbles, completely exhausted.

"You have to make a wish," Brittany whispers and Santana manages to use her last bout of strength to open her eyes to think. Unbeknown to Brittany, she can't help but ponder back to her discussion with Quinn.

* * *

><p>"<em>Does she know?" Quinn asks, lifting herself from her bed before returning back to her closet to hunt for Santana's other missing shoe.<em>

"_Know what?" Santana replies, confused. _

"_That you were just using her at the start," Quinn replies with a hint of disapproval in her voice and turns to watch Santana's expression turn from serene to cautious. _

"_She doesn't have to know…" Santana tells her firmly, playing with a loose thread on the hem of her hoodie. _

"_So you're just going to lie to her?" Quinn questions and Santana purses her lips, straightening up on the bed._

"_I'm not lying, she just doesn't have to know," Santana retorts defensively. _

"_So what happens when she finds out?" Quinn crosses her arms. _

"_She's not going to find out, Quinn." Santana furrows her brows, darting a threatening glare towards Quinn's direction. _

"_Santana, she's fragile enough, can you imagine if she finds out that you've been lying to her all this time?" Quinn pulls out a matching suede shoe from her pile of many and throws it onto the bed next to the other._

"_All the more reason not to say anything," Santana argues, lifting herself from the bed before she paces up and down the bedroom floor. "If she ever found out then I would lose her, I know it." _

_Quinn nods, taking the shoes and meeting Santana in the middle of the floor. They exchange conflicting looks, Santana is reluctant, and her eyes are guarded while Quinn looks at her intrusively. _

"_What are you going to do?" Quinn asks, handing over her shoes. Santana takes a deep breath and sighs. _

"_I don't know," she whispers. "She's the only thing I have left; I can't lose her, Quinn. She can't find out." _

_Quinn nods but she seems torn and Santana begins to feel that her decision to let her know may have not been the best idea. _

"_Quinn, I swear if you tell anyone," Santana starts._

"_I'm not going to say anything, you have my word." Quinn reassures her but wants to make herself clear, she squares up to Santana and looks her straight in the eye. "But I don't like what you're doing. If she does find out and if shit hits the fan, I'm not gonna stick up for you."_

_Santana nods and looks down to her shoes in her hands then to the floor. _

"_Don't break her heart, Santana." _

_Santana glances from the ground and back to Quinn. She would never intend to break Brittany's heart and keeping the truth technically couldn't be defined as a lie. _

"_To never beak her heart is my only wish," Santana replies._

* * *

><p>"Make a wish, Santana." Brittany repeats tiredly as her eyelids become heavier but Santana decides not to answer and pretends to sleep instead.<p>

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter XVI<em>

**I'd just like to say that all the get well messages have been overwhelming! I feel so much better than I have done in months so thank you all!**

**Thank-you Bekah for being the amazing person that you are and thank you Naya & Heather for inspiring me!**

**It's holiday season for TGND, and you're finally gonna get what you've been waiting for. ;) **


	17. Chapter XVII

_[AN] Aloha! Just to say thank you all so much for your patience when waiting for this chapter. Unfortunately the person who beta's my work is on a break at the moment. (I still love you!) So it's taken a little longer to get this chapter seen to. If there's any beta's out there willing to work with me on future chapters, please let me know ;)_

_So yeah, I apologise if there's some serious mistakes in this chapter, I tried going through and cleaning it up as much as I could but unfortunately I've never been great when it comes to technicality with spelling and such. I hope it doesn't ruin it too much for ya! lol. _

_P.S, I've now started another Brittana Fic called Fifty First States which you can find on my profile so please, check it out and tell me what you think. And again, thank you and i love you all for your patience, dedication and time reviewing. _

_**_CHAPTER XVII_**_

* * *

><p>There's something in the way the bed sheets crinkle as Santana rolls her head around on the pillow, trying to find a cold and comfortable spot. The texture of the fabric is poignant under her fingertips; soft, smooth yet crisp like a new Spring morning. She stretches out, taking advantage of the empty bed and sighs deeply, content with not having to get up early for once.<p>

"_Santana?"_ Brittany whispers.

"Shh..." Santana breathes into her pillow.

"But Santana it's time to get up!" Brittany giggles back.

"But it's so early!" She complains, digging her head deeper into the feathered pillow in an attempt to block out the light.

Brittany raises an eyebrow and looks to her digital clock that reads noon, then purses her lips, trying to come up with a plan; it was Christmas and Santana wasn't getting away that easy.

Surprisingly, silence ensues and Santana can once again bask in the glory that is lying in bed on a weekday past nine in the morning. Well, that is until something soft begins to tickle her nose, causing her to twitch, sniffle and scrunch up her face.

When she hears Brittany's childish chuckle from the other side of the bedroom, Santana is immediately puzzled as to what could be the offending and blatantly irritating nose tickler. Somehow, she couldn't picture Brittany receiving a feather duster with a ten foot handle for Christmas, so what ever it was invading her personal space, she didn't like it one bit.

"Are you going to open your eyes yet?" Brittany asks cheerily and Santana blows a puff of air out of her mouth, causing the tickle monster to retreat for a few moments. Unable to win, she rubs her eyes harshly and almost yells out a yawn.

"Okay, okay, I'm getting up," she sighs and stretched her arms once more. And slowly then proceeds to open her eyes, it isn't easy, and her tiredness makes it difficult to for her to keep her eyes open for longer than a few seconds. Still, however, she manages to peer through the offending light but all she can see is a dark blob hovering in front of her.

It takes a good couple of seconds for her to focus and when she does, she's met by a pair of bright green oval eyes staring just as curiously back. '_Meow.'_

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" Santana screeches, catapulting herself out of Brittany's bed, tumbling onto the floor and scrambles beside Brittany who stands at her door, spurting out with laughter.

"Isn't she adorable? Mom got me a her for Christmas!" Brittany beams down at Santana who glares wide eyed over to the bed as a little black ball of fluff that could easily fit inside her palm reveals itself from underneath the pillow, yelping out helplessly.

"I thought it was a dragon," Santana rests her hand over her heart, trying to catch her breath. Brittany scrunches up her nose at Santana for thinking such nonsense and then over to her new pet. The kitten rolls itself over to the edge of the bed, falling on her back as her legs kick around frantically. A harmless ball of fluff, that's all she was.

"How come you're so tired anyway?" Brittany begins to walk towards the bed before turning to the drawer at her bedside table. "We fell asleep at the same time."

Santana manages to gather herself to her feet and pats down her pyjamas as if nothing happened.

"Actually, I didn't get to sleep till a lot later," she replies with a sly smile on her face, taking one pink dressing gown from the hook of the door. "You see, I was having _too _much fun listening to you sleep talk," she cackles, throwing the gown over her shoulders.

Brittany pops two prescription pills from her medication box and throws them into her mouth, guzzling it down with the remains of Santana's overnight glass of water.

"I talk in my sleep?" She swallows. "What... but what did I say?" She asks cautiously, sitting on the edge of the bed, picking up her kitten.

"Oh, baby you were on fire last night," Santana teases, slowly walking towards the window. "I love the way you say my name when you're asleep... or moan it. There's a certain... ring to it," she smiles smugly, wiping her index finger down the cold glass window, causing the condensation to drip.

"Oh no..." Brittany's cheeks begin to heat up. "What else was I saying?" Brittany asks regretfully. Santana bites her lip and silently laughs before turning to her girlfriend.

"I can't," Santana shakes her head. "You're mouth when you sleep talk; so _dirty,_"

"_But I really, really wanted to go to Space Mountain! You can't do this to me!" Brittany cries in her sleep._

"Uh..." Brittany twitches uncomfortably. "You better not tell me... I don't think I want to know now."

Santana just watches her, still dressed in the vulgar yet adorable polka dot night dress. Her hair falls in loose ringlets past her shoulders and her bangs are braided in a French pleat in the exact same way she had them at her first day at McKinley. Santana was surprised that she even remembered but yet again, with a face as angelic as Brittany's, how could she?

"Merry Christmas, Britt," Santana whispers, of course she didn't forget about that either. Brittany strips her attention away from the fuzzy bundle of joy in her lap and up to Santana who looks at her lovingly; she's warm like cinnamon on apple pie and right now, with Santana's hair tussled, untidy and her eyes still smoky with sleep, she looks delicious.

"I could eat you up," Brittany blurts out as she takes a long look over her body, appreciating every curve and patch of olive skin but immediately regrets it afterwards and covers her mouth with her hand when she sees Santana's eyes widen. "Oh! I'm so sorry! I don't even... I didn't even see that one coming out, I don't even know where it came from!" She tries to justify herself and Santana watches her panic then giggles.

"I do," she replies. "It comes from your _vagina,_" she winks. Brittany gasps and covers her kittens ears, frowning scornfully. Of course, despite it being Christmas, Santana was as crude as ever.

"Seriously, now you've done the deed; twiddled your dee... you can't go back," Santana continues casually, folding her arms. "I wont be surprised if you're jumping my bones by the end of the week. I mean, you just wont be able to resist my sexy looks, my awesome hot body and the amount of times your going to see me naked from now on."

"Naked?" Brittany asks confused.

"Naked, like bare naked, naked." Santana nods. Brittany licks her lips and does another double take of Santana in her pyjamas. Santana flicks her eyes up to Brittany and then to the small feline creature that lies, belly up and paws outstretched as it wails away quietly in Brittany's lap.

"Your pussy's cryin' out for attention," Santana clicks her tongue and leans, arms and legs crossed, against the white door frame while Brittany's dumbfounded expression sticks securely in place. "Guess we'll have to do something about that," she sighs, eyeing the cat tentatively and with that, she slaps her right butt cheek, spins around and wanders away to the bathroom for a freshening up session. Little did Brittany know, Santana had it just as bad, only she had discovered the case of the cold shower.

* * *

><p>Silver cutlery rattles across crystal plates as the Pierce residence and Santana tuck into their afternoon Christmas feast, which is so deliciously robust that it could feed the entire family for a month. Santana is bewildered as she sits with eyes as large as her appetite. The turkey dipped in cranberry explodes in her mouth, the seasoned gravy is to die for and the golden roast potatoes are crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside; just the way she likes it. She could taste every herb in the stuffing and she even enjoyed the prawn cocktail as a starter. It was probably the least she spoke without sleeping for months as she crammed the food enthusiastically in her mouth, as did the rest of the family. And in between breaks, the four of them laughed together, embracing every moment of the Christmas cheer.<p>

Santana wipes her mouth with her napkin and smiles along to Grace's delirious story of how she had to go into battle with an elderly woman when buying the last turkey in stock. Brittany sits next to her, distracted by her own napkin as she folds it with precision, sticking her tongue out at the side of her mouth as she attempts to recreate yet another bird. Santana can see Brittany in her peripheral vision while she listens along to Grace, nodding while she exaggerates the fact that this elderly lady had the mouth of a sailor, who spewed words that Grace had never heard of in her life. Once the conversation turns to discussing increasing price rates in food with James, Santana turns to Brittany who has her head level with the table as she straightens the wings on the bird with her brows creased in concentration.

"Nice duck," Santana whispers, rubbing the back of Brittany's white lace cardigan that she bought her for Christmas. Brittany pouts her lips and turns her head, peering up to Santana.

"It's not a duck, it's a swan," Brittany corrects her, sitting up straight again in her chair. Santana raises a brow.

"But last time you said it was a duck," she replies, confused so Brittany cocks her head to the side and studies her work of origami.

"Nope," she pops her lips. "Definitely a swan!" She turns her head and smiles before taking her glass of champagne, swivelling it around a little before bringing it to her lips for a small sip, all the while not once taking her eyes off Santana.

Santana narrows her eyes and brings her own glass of champagne to her lips before setting the crystal down again on top of the table. Brittany mimics her as they keep their eyes locked on one another. Santana sighs; Brittany sighs. Santana licks her lips; so does Brittany and Brittany's parents soon take notice of the pairs silent duel. Grace and James knew something was going on between the girls, exactly what, they were unsure of but there was always an electrical current between the two and it was only intensifying as they played off each other.

"So... Santana," Grace clears her throat and Santana snaps out of her trance and turns her head towards to make friendly eyes with Brittany's mother but Brittany's attention remains still.

"How would you usually be spending your Christmas?" Grace asks curiously, interlocking her fingers and resting her chin on her hands. Santana runs her tongue across the top set of her teeth to make sure that there was nothing stuck before she spoke.

"I would be at my aunt's with my mom right about now, eating dinner," she smiles back politely. "Only my aunt has nothing on this, Mrs Pierce." Santana licks her lips and rubs her hands.

"Ha-ha-ha!" Brittany chuckles out in response rather randomly and the family all turn around to find Brittany smiling merrily towards Santana as she too rests her elbow on the table and her chin in her hand.

"Brittany, honey, how many glasses of champagne have you had?" James asks, his voice is so loud it almost seems as if he is bellowing, but his smile and red face suggests otherwise. Brittany sticks out her hand and raises three fingers like a Brownie promise.

"Four and a... half," she grins until her eyelids are just slits before hiccuping. Santana giggles and gently sways from side to side to the Christmas music. Everything was so..._cosy._ In fact, Santana was so full that she could fall asleep at the table there and then but she'd rather save the humiliation. And as soon as she starts to feel a wave of yawns approaching, she is quickly jolted to full attention when she feels Brittany's hand squeezing her left thigh. She subtly lifts up the table cloth to find Brittany's hand now resting in between both of her thighs, she was gloveless but it didn't stop her from grazing her fingers and massaging Santana's leg over her grey skinny jeans. Santana drops the table cloth again and sits straight up in an attempt to act casual but finds it difficult when Brittany's hand wanders even higher.

She's blushing now; burning even and she can just tell that Brittany's watching her with every delight; she was probably getting payback for all the teasing Santana did to her in the past couple of weeks. Santana looks straight ahead, to the old Grandfather clock at the end of the table and appears almost robotic as she tries to keep her cool.

"Do you know what I wished for Christmas this year?" Brittany whispers, leaning in closer to Santana and squeezing even higher up her thigh. Santana curls her toes and holds onto the sides of her chair.

"What?" Santana breathes back.

At the other end of the table, Grace is in deep discussion with James when she turns to find Brittany whispering closely into Santana ear, it's quick but it causes Santana to jump in her seat, knocking her knees off the underside of the table, causing the cutlery to clatter on the plates as well as the champagne to topple over the edge of her glass.

Just as soon, Brittany let's out a dirty chuckle, sticking her tongue in between her teeth and takes another swig from her own glass to finish it up.

"You okay, sweetie?" Grace asks, tucking her perfectly trimmed bob behind her ears. Santana nods and swallows but inside she is crippling over with embarrassment and it shows when she turns as red as the grilled tomatoes. The music then switches to the next track which is Frank Sinatra's _Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas_ and Santana smiles, turning head to Brittany who returns the warm smile before resting her head on Santana's shoulder, linking their arms together. At least her hands were now above Santana's waist.

"Santana?" James asks, itching a spot on his temple. "I don't mean to pry but, have you ever had any success with getting in contact with your father, since he left?"

Usually Santana would dismiss the question all together and reply that she didn't want to talk about it. But with the way James looks at her in that moment, reminds her a lot of Brittany. The two of them were very similar in the way their eyes told story's – both were as blue and as deep as the ocean but as soon as he asks the question, there is something that clicks inside Santana that tells her that it's okay to go ahead and answer him. That he is a great father and can be trusted. God knows how many secrets she shared with Brittany.

"Well, for a couple of weeks after he left I tried the phone directory. I was a kid so every Abran Lopez had to be my father. I remember spending the whole day just ringing out random numbers to men who were strangers asking if they were my dad," Santana laughs out, shaking her head.

"Abran? That's you father's name? You never told me that before," Brittany replies, rubbing Santana arm.

"Yep, Ironically his name means noble father, so," Santana shrugs. "When my mom saw the bill she hid the directory as well as the address book from me in her bedroom that she always kept locked." Santana takes another sip of her champagne to wash away the bitter taste. "I heard he remarried but to whom my mom never told me. From then on she began to loath my father for what he did and would try and say everything in her power to stop me from thinking about him; she wanted me to hate him as much as she did..." The room is silent as the family listens sympathetically. "But I can't," she whispers.

"Well, Grace and I think you're a great kid so it's a privilege to have you here with us and be the person you are for our baby," he winks and Santana can't help feeling a little choked up. "Cheers and Merry Christmas!" He raises his glass and the rest of them quickly follow behind in taking their drink except from Brittany who scowls down at hers which is already empty.

"Can I have some'ore?" Brittany asks sweetly.

* * *

><p>"You need to get that... Santana, you need to get address book!" Brittany exclaims as the pair stagger merrily up the stairs after a family movie. "You need to get it so you can call your dad and say Merry Christmas!" Brittany raises her hands in front of her. "Merry Christmas and a happy new year!" She shouts at the top of the landing before giggling.<p>

Santana beams along with her, merry from the champagne that still bubbles inside her stomach as she directs Brittany into her bedroom with one arm around her waist.

"That's not gonna happen, besides, I don't have a spare key to my house any more... It would be breaking in," Santana replies as the pair flop onto the bed, full from dinner and jolly from the drink. The bed itself is bombarded with Christmas presents, wrapping paper, boxes and cards, and Santana has to wrestle with a new scarf to add to Brittany's collection to free her legs.

"All I'm saying is your bedroom window is still open, all you have to do is climb over there and into your room and then ta-daa! The word's your oyster..." Brittany can feel her eyes grow tired as her face mashes against her pillow despite it only being the early evening. "That means there's a big shiny pearl somewhere hidden in your mom's room_,_" she mumbles drooling onto the pillow.

Santana chuckles silently and just shakes her head, staring at the ceiling.

"So what if I did get the address book? What makes you think my mom would still have his number? And even if she did, it's been ten years since he last spoke to me, why would he want to now?"

"Because it's Christmas!" Brittany sits up from the bed and has to narrow her eyes to regain her focus. "Miracles can happen, okay?" she argues, becoming slightly _too_ emotionally invested, although Santana gives her a knowing look as if to say if that were the case, then why was Brittany still unable to touch her.

"If you never try, then you'll never know," Brittany whispers as if she could hear Santana's thoughts. The room is silent as Santana confides in her own conflicted feelings while at the same time, Brittany sits in the middle of the bed, waiting, cross legged and sways and occasionally nods off only to fright herself back awake again.

"Fine," Santana finally tells Brittany.

"Fi-iine?" Brittany murmurs, forgetting what the question was.

"I'll do it, I'll try get the address book," Santana announces, jumping off the bed with a new found determination as she makes her way to the window. "I just need to get over my irrational fear of heights," she says, eyeing the branches of the naked oak with caution before licking her lips and pulling her hair back to tie it into a high pony tail.

"I am so turned on right now," Brittany coos her with every ounce of tiredness now completely perished.

Santana takes a moment to breath, it was twilight and even though her mom's car wasn't in the drive, Santana knew that her mother hated staying out after dark in the winter and would be home soon. She turns her head and nods to Brittany.

"I am so ready for this."

* * *

><p>"Oh my god, oh my god! I can't do this!" Santana cries out, hugging the largest branch nearest her window. It was a lot colder than the girls thought and ice was already starting to coat over the branches making time an issue for Santana.<p>

"YOU'RE RIGHT THERE!" Brittany yells out at her own window, flailing her arms around hysterically as if she was watching a game between the Packers and the Patriots. "JUST STRETCH YOUR FOOT AND YOU'RE ON THE LEDGE GODDAMNIT!"

"I ca-aa-an't!" Santana yelps out, squeezing her eyes shut, holding on for dear life.

"Honey? Is everything okay up there?" Grace shouts from downstairs.

"WE'RE FINE, MOM! JUST HANGING OUT!" Brittany faces her door and yells back. When she turns her head back and sees Santana struggling, she realises shouting wasn't going to help. "Okay, okay," she takes a breather. "Just look at your window and you'll see, open your eyes and it's there right in front of you," she says gently this time as she waits anxiously.

Santana gurgles a little but ever so slowly, she opens her eyes and can see the ledge just below her feet... _Oh._ She stretches until her toes hit the wood and soon she has both of her feet on the ledge before a wave of relief washes over.

"That wasn't so bad!" Santana sighs, crouching down to lift up the rungs of her window and Brittany just rolls her eyes and shakes her head, she was probably more exhausted than Santana was.

Santana crawls into her dark room and even though she had been away for only a few weeks, the place seems alien. It smells of dust and cardboard and it was cold; eerie even. It was like her mother really did act as if Santana had died and had packed up all her things, unsure what to do with them. For Santana, it feels like a stab to the chest.

Brittany watches from across the tree and can see Santana's eyes wonder through the darkness with only the moon illuminating her skin. She looks like she did in a memory of Brittany's, but what memory, she wasn't sure. All she remembers was that Santana looked the same way, her eyes were doleful and yearning. _She just wanted to have parents that loved her._ And Brittany realises it.

Santana turns to Brittany and offers a quick smile.

"If I die tonight, I just want you to know that you can have my monkey pyjama onesie that you got me for Christmas," she jokes light-heartedly and turns to walk into the darkness, leaving Brittany wide-eyed and her heart racing.

"_Die?" _She whispers to herself.

Time passes and minutes seem like hours for Brittany. The night was quick to approach after Santana disappeared and it's the first time that Brittany wishes that it wasn't the case. Her gaze crosses from Anita's usual parking space in front of her house which was still vacant to Santana's bedroom which still showed no signs of life since Santana ventured out. She switches back and forth, already nervously biting onto the sleeves of her new cardigan. Maybe this was all a trick. Maybe Mrs. Lopez wanted them thinking that the house was empty as a trap, so that if one of them were to break in for whatever obscure reason, like wanting to get in contact with any long lost fathers, Mrs. Lopez would be ready and waiting to make a stew out of them in the cauldron below in her basement.

Brittany's imagination may have been enhanced by the champagne, but knowing Santana's mother, her speculation didn't sound at all that far off from what could be reality.

Her theory is soon dismissed as she can hear the engine of a car pull up into the driveway in front of Santana's home and suddenly Brittany's heart begins pounding. It was the devil herself.

"Pssst! Santana?" Brittany calls out but there is no response. "Santana!" she tries again. The car door of the silver BMW slams shut and the sound of Anita's stiletto's against concrete grates on Brittany and sends unwanted chills across her skin.

"Santana! Oh no... oo-oh no this isn't so good. Santana?" She tries again, trying her best not to attract Anita's attention as she rifles through her bag in search of her door keys, but she is loud enough so Santana can hear her if she was near by. " Santana!" she almost cries out.

The front door of the Lopez residence can be heard slowly creaking open and Brittany can only pray that Santana doesn't get caught. She waits and after what seems like a life time, Santana comes running to her bedroom again, bouncing from foot to foot with adrenaline and waving a tattered,worn book in her hands.

"I found it, I found it!" She celebrates and even goes as far as twirling around excitedly.

"Shh! Your mom's back... she, she's in the h-house!" Brittany spits, thudding her palms onto her window ledge. Santana freezes mid celebration and glares worriedly.

"She is?" She asks.

"Quick! Before it's too late!" Brittany yelps a little over-dramatically. Santana doesn't hesitate to climb onto the branches this time as the adrenaline courses through her. This was the most reckless yet energetic she had felt in a while, it was exciting. The night makes it harder for Santana to see and occasionally her feet slide down a few branches that are covered with frost. Her heart beats erratically and she can feel the blood pumping through her ears as Brittany watches helplessly from her window, practically pulling her hair out in an attempt not to yell. The top landing lights flick on from Santana's house and Brittany sequels under her breath and jogs on the spot. Not even her prescribed anxiety pills could calm her down.

"Almost there," Santana tells herself, breaking a sweat as she clambers over to Brittany's side of the tree. "Don't look down, Santana. Don't look down." Her hands are numb with the cold and her grasp becomes less firm, they slip more often and Santana begins to breath out shaky breaths which can be seen as white puffs in the wintry night. And soon, her buzz fizzles out when she's too light headed to move from being so high up.

"Here," she calls out, throwing the old address book through Brittany's window. "I just need a little rest." She closes her eyes and takes long, deep breaths. A cold sweat crates a sheen across her skin and she immediately regrets having so much champagne. Here she was, stuck up a tree on Christmas day, breaking into properties and getting drunk in the process.

"She better have my fucking dad's number," Santana rubs her hands together as she hugs a branch for friction.

"Santana look at me?" Brittany asks and Santana obliges to find Brittany extending her arm out, without any gloves or props or clothing at all, just her normal human hand. Santana raises an eye brow and gazes at Brittany quizzically.

"But Brittany, you can't-"

"If you never try, then you'll never know," Brittany interrupts, repeating herself from earlier that night. Santana blinks and softly smiles before nodding gently after a while.

"Okay," she whispers and reaches her own arm out until it's only centimetres away from Brittany's hand.

"Keep your eyes on me and move closer," Brittany asks her. Santana ponders for a moment, looking straight into Brittany's eyes to see if there's any sense of doubt but instead she can only find certainty. Slowly, she leans her body further and lifts her right foot off one branch and onto the other. Brittany begins to smile as she draws closer but as soon as Santana shifts her weight on to the new branch, her foot slips and Brittany's face quickly disappears and is replaced by the the black sky and soon, everything is black.

"Santana!" Brittany shouts from her window but there is no answer. "Oh no! Santana?" she yells again and waits. Nothing. "MOM! MOM! I KILLED SANTANA!"

* * *

><p>"I can't believe I broke my wrist on Christmas Day, this sucks." Santana complains, glaring at the new cast that wraps around her right arm as she sits with Brittany and her parents in the doctors office.<p>

"Broken wrist, three fractured ribs and a mild concussion to be exact, you're lucky you didn't land on your head," the doctor chuckles out as he studies her x-rays. "I guess the Christmas spirit brought you some luck!"

"Well, at least I can draw a map of the constellations on your plaster cast as a guide so you don't forget," Brittany leans in and whispers into Santana's ear.

"I just don't know what would posses you to be climbing trees in the dark especially with it being so icy out?" Graces fusses. "You had me worried sick!" Santana smiles at her apologetically but appreciates her concern.

"Broken leg, broken wrist – Hey, at least I'm not the only damaged goods in the household now," James roars out a laugh that makes Brittany cringe, he sure was the jolly big man and if he had white hair and a beard, he could easily pass for Santa Clause himself.

"Just take it easy in the next few weeks and with a lot of care and attention, you'll be up to no good again soon," the doctor jokes.

* * *

><p>When the doctor told Santana she needed a lot of care and attention, he definitely wasn't joking. Brittany had already cleared her bed of presents and all the riff-raff that came with it. She lit cinnamon scented candles, creating an aroma in the room of her favourite smells and she even set Santana's side of the bed with the most pillows, making sure they were fluffed up and ready to be slept on. The only thing stopping them from calling it a night was the address book that sits on the bedside table, waiting to be opened.<p>

"I don't know if I can do it..." Santana whispers as she sits with Brittany as she pets her kitten, Mr. Darcy, after Pride and Prejudice – One of Brittany's favourite books. - Despite Mr. Darcy being a female, Brittany knew she had chosen the right name. Santana picks up the old leather address book and suddenly images of her father appear in the back of her mind. His dark curly hair and chocolate eyes and that silly black moustache that Santana hated so much, yet missed a tonne. She grazes her thumb across the cover before opening the book to the first page with the hand that was free from the cast.

There's a list of names and being in Alphabetical order, she immediately spots '_Abran L.' _at the start and even though she expected it, the feeling of butterflies flapping away furiously in her stomach puts her to a state of nausea.

"You're shaking," Brittany observes and Santana nods.

"I'm nervous," Santana laughs anxiously and Brittany reaches over to the table and lifts the handset from her phone, before offering it to Santana. Santana eyes the phone for a moment and nearly declines the offer but she knows if she doesn't do this now, that she never will. Carefully, she takes the device from Brittany's hand and punches in the numbers that is scribbled in pencil on the dog-eared paper. One push of the green button and this could be it, Santana Lopez could be speaking to her father after ten years of nothing. She presses it.

Her heart is hammering against her chest, her throat clenches but she proceeds to bring the phone to her ear and listens to the ringing sound on the other end. She hopes that there would be no answer, that maybe since now she has attempted it, then maybe she would be able to try again when she was more prepared. Maybe this was just an old number-

"_Hello?"_

…

Santana turns to Brittany in a panic who bites her own nails nervously. The voice she heard was far from the one she expected. It was a woman's voice, maybe it was his wife?

"_Hello?" The woman_ asks again and Santana wedges the phone between her ear and her shoulder and she searches for Brittany's knee to squeeze for comfort.

"Hi," Santana finally replies; the nerves were present in her voice.

"_Hello, can I ask who's calling?"_

"Uhh..." Santana turns to Brittany again for reassurance but Brittany just nods her head in encouragement. "Um..."

"Hello? Sorry can you hear me?" The woman asks as the sound of a child crying in the background catches Santana's attention. "_Hello,_ is anyone there?"

"Sorry," Santana cringes. "Sorry, I think.. uh, I think I got the wrong number, sorry about that," she apologises and is quick to hang up. Brittany watches her while she bites bottom lip. Santana drops her head in her hands and rubs her temples.

"He's moved on, it's obvious," Santana replies coldly to Brittany's wordless question. "There's kids involved."

Brittany can feel the ache that severs Santana's heart in her own; Santana's pain was Brittany's.

"I'm so sorry," Brittany replies, always unsure of what to do when it came to these types of situations.

"Don't be," Santana shakes her head, sniffling back tears. "I got my hopes up."

"No," Brittany quickly stops here there, setting Mr. Darcy on the bed as she gets up. "Never get your hopes up because if you do... if you do, well then _that_ means you've given up haven't you?" Brittany asks, making her way over to her closet. Santana looks up from the address book and frowns in confusion through foggy eyes. "Do you think that _I_ ever gave up?" Brittany asks, opening her closet and rustling her way through bags and boxes to retrieve a parcel that is wrapped in duck paper, complete with a yellow bow-tie. "I will _never_ give up because I know that soon my wish is going to come true; I can feel it in my bones." She kicks her closet doors closed again and brings the parcel over to the bed, setting it next to Santana. "You just have to believe it," she whispers.

Santana glances at the parcel next to her and then to Brittany to ask if it was for her to which Brittany nods.

"I was gonna save it till new year, but I think you'd appreciate it more now," she smiles bashfully before climbing onto the bed again.

Santana slowly takes the parcel in her hands and is surprised at the weight; it was heavy. Brittany picks up Mr. Darcy and sets her on her lap as an excited smile spreads across her face.

"Open it," Brittany grins, chewing on her nail again.

Santana turns to Brittany and glances at her coyly before taking the string tied in a bow and unravels it for Mr. Darcy to prod with her paws.

She carefully peels pack the sellotape, trying not to rip the the wrapping paper and curiously unravels the gift, and soon, she's staring down at a black polished box, that measured approximately from wrist to her elbow.

"What is it?" Santana smiles, excited by her new found curiosity. Brittany tilts her head before reaching out and spins the box around to reveal what appears to be a small Victorian style safe. The face is engraved with the Queen's jubilee, with golden markings around the edges. Instead of a dial, there is a key-hole that locks away whatever contents were inside but Brittany pays more attention to the top of the box.

"I found it in my room when I first moved in," She wipes her hand over the polished surface. "I managed to get inside, but it was empty and then I found this..." She hooks her finger over the corner of the box and pulls back the top, revealing a hollow space underneath the lid. Santana cranes her neck to get a closer look and finds that the inside is coated in red velvet, there is a mirror on the underside of the lid that is pieced together in four windows with diamanté edges. There are slots for jewellery to be kept and right in the middle, there is two glass figures. One is of a man; a noble King and the second is only a child; a little girl holding his hand which she presumed to be his daughter.

"It's beautiful," Santana whispers, feeling overwhelmed and getting rather teary-eyed. "Wow!"

"Wait for it..." Brittany replies, and flicks open one of the jewellery compartments to reveal a winding key, she twists it in her fingers before letting go and retreats her arm so that Santana can watch the two glass fingers dance around each other as a surprisingly modern yet unforgettable tune begins to play.

"Is that..." Santana twists her head to get her ear closer to the music box. "is that Gypsy Girl?" Santana asks, an octave higher than usual. Brittany nods. "But how?" she asks again, utterly amazed.

"When I first played it, the song was out of tune and I didn't like it anyway," Brittany shrugs. "After the first night we met I couldn't get that song out my head for days and then when you told me about your dad..."

"Brittany," Santana whispers softly, resting her head on Brittany's shoulders as they watch the figures dance in time with the music.

"I decided to tweak it, and ultimately managed to change the notes," Brittany smiles proudly while Santana closes her eyes, letting a single tear fall down her cheek. "I might not be good at computers, or at English class or with people in general but you mean a lot to me, Santana and I _know_ your father means a lot to you. That's why I did this, so _never_ lose hope."

The pair watch until the dancing glass figures and the song finally comes to an end; the night too was also coming to an end and both girls were growing tired.

"Are you sore?" Brittany asks and Santana nods.

"A little," Santana yawns and then hisses when she strains her ribs. A dark purple bruise has moulded itself nicely on her right temple where four stitches fasten up a cut. Her body is stiff and she knows that she's going to have hard time sleeping and not with just being sore, but with everything.

"Stay there," Brittany tells her before she raises from the bed again, setting the musical safe on the table and bends down to sit on her shins in front of Santana's legs. She looks at her hands that are still cosy from her gloves but peels them off one by one before glancing up to Santana. "I'm going to take care of you," she says.

Santana looks down at Brittany and can't help but think how much she really was an angel. Santana was the luckiest girl in the world and at times she felt as if she was dreaming and if that were ever the case, then she'd never want to wake up again.

"I love you _so _much," Santana whispers, reaching her free hand out and carefully tucks a strand of Brittany's hair behind her ear. Brittany responds with a wide grin then glances down to her now bare hands, with her palms facing up before twiddling her fingers.

Slowly, she takes the heel of Santana's right ankle boot and pulls down until the shoe slides of and does the same for the left boot. Santana flexes her toes playfully causing Brittany to chuckle out as she raises to her knees. Her hands slowly skim past Santana's own knees and up her thighs to the waistband of her skinny jeans and Santana has to hold her breath and be as still as possible.

When Brittany feels comfortably enough, she unloosens the button of Santana's jeans, her hands are shaking but she remains focused, making sure that she doesn't touch any of Santana's exposed skin. It was like she was unravelling a ball of knotted string; she had to be precise, patient and careful, but at times she just wanted the transition to be done with so she could get to the prize. But the art of untying a knot was that when the string was smooth, the effort in the end felt worth it.

'It _is_ going to be worth it,' Brittany thinks to herself as she pulls Santana's jeans down past her legs to reveal her smooth, tan thighs. _Definitely _worth it. She next works on Santana's red knee-high socks that had white snow flakes dotted around them and pulls the right sock down first past her ankle, slowly peeling it off her foot and then again on the left; all while watching as Santana tilts her head, watching her.

Santana then extends her left leg past Brittany's shoulder and even though Brittany couldn't physically touch Santana, she could feel every part of her and it was only a matter of time until they would be connected completely.

Santana gently rests her feet back on the carpet with her legs slightly spread apart, enough so that Brittany can scoot up in between them until her head is right underneath Santana's chin.

Santana closes her eyes and faces up to the ceiling while Brittany begins to unbutton her jacket for her, making sure to be as gentle as possible so she doesn't hurt her. Santana wriggles her free arm out of the sleeve but Brittany has to pull the other sleeve so it slides past the cast and not too long after, the jacket is on the floor with the jeans, socks and shoes.

Brittany studies her torso, lightly grazing her hands over Santana's stomach and ribs above her cream skin tight t-shirt.

"Does that hurt?" Brittany asks, circling her thumb over where Santana fractured her ribs but Santana just shakes her head.

"Not any-more," she wheezes out which suggests differently.

"Lift up your arms, be careful," Brittany asks and Santana does what she's told and raises her hands over her head while holding Brittany's gaze.

Without breaking her own gaze, Brittany finds the hem of Santana's t-shirt and pulls it between her thumbs and fingers before lifting the article of clothing up and over Santana's head gently. When she throws the item on the floor with the rest of the bunch, she keeps her head level with Santana's as they search for each other in the others eyes.

This is the first time that Santana can see Brittany's eyes so dark with lust that it's difficult to make out her pupils, yet at the same time, it's Brittany who is the on in control, if it were the other way around, Santana would have long run away in an attempt not to ravage Brittany there in then.

Brittany _was_ in control in that moment, it showed in the way her hands worked when slowly removing Santana's clothing; teasing as she peeled off piece by piece. It was in the way her eyes grazed over Santana's body as if she was claiming that every inch of her was her own. It was in the way she had Santana in a lost in a spell ever second of every moment of the day.

Brittany lifts an arm and runs a hand through Santana's hair that causes Santana to shudder.

"Remember that time when you explained to me the ambiguous terms to feeling something?"Brittany asks, playing with a strand of Santana's hair. Santana nods.

"I feel like I'm ready; I feel like I want to go on and break past those boundaries with you. I feel it every day from when I wake up to when I go to sleep," Brittany smiles, watching Santana with nothing but compassion. "I feel that when I'm with you, the burden of my condition is completely irrelevant because you make me forget. I felt yesterday something I hadn't in long time; my love for dance and it was because you inspired me. I feel that if I take your beautiful body into my hands and press my lips against yours that it will open _so_ many doors to our relationship that it makes me _insanely_ excited."

"Then why don't you just kiss me?" Santana whispers out but Brittany can tell that she's frustrated. She drops her head onto Brittany's shoulder and Brittany can only close her eyes and nod. "You're killing me here, Britt," Santana sighs.

"Because even though I can feel those things, I _know_ that it's not the time," Brittany replies squeezing her eyes shut. She didn't want to hear the truth, but there it was.

"Then when?" Santana mumbles, wrapping her arms around Brittany's shoulders while Brittany strokes the back of Santana's head.

"Soon," Brittany whispers. "And I can promise you that, because I can feel it."

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter XVII<em>

**Guess what? Next two chapters are going to be in two parts because something BIG's gonna go down, and I mean that in all its literal sense. ;)**

**Please review!**


	18. Chapter XVIII

___[AN] Hey! So I promised some of you that I would upload this last night but I kinda got really drunk in the process, so editing it didn't seem like such a good idea. (I apologise!) I would also like to thank those who offered to beta for me, seriously each and every one of you are awesome and I want to give you a drunken kiss. ___

___I did however find my beta who is just great (thank you, Sinanna) who is also a beta for FrogsRcool - Who writes the fantastic If Only You Could See What I See. If you haven't already checked it out, you should. I can't recommend it enough. :)___

___Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this chapter. It's the first half of New Years Night and there's still plenty more to come. ___

_**_CHAPTER XVIII_**_

* * *

><p>She closes her eyes and breathes in, letting the frosty morning air prick away at her lungs. She loves the feeling: it's pure; clear. When she exhales she opens her eyes again and brushes her feet against the gravel on the ground, making sure that there isn't any black ice hiding in the cracks of the *sidewalk. She flexes her fingers and cranes her neck from side to side so she can loosen up a little. When she's ready, she pulls the iPod that she received for Christmas out from of her grey, trench-coat pocket and pulls a mitten off with her teeth so she can fish through the songs. Content with choosing Regina Spektor's 'Us', she hits play, wriggles her fingers back into her mitten and begins to run.<p>

_They made a statue of us,_

_And they put it on a mountain top._

_Now tourists come and stare at us,_

_Blow bubbles with their gum._

_Take photographs of fun,_

_Have fun._

She jogs past the houses in her neighbourhood and watches as other families prepare for the new year; relatives travel from all around the country to celebrate with their loved ones. They greet each other with open arms and sloppy, long awaited kisses that make the children cringe. She hadn't noticed before how diverse her neighbourhood really was and it was freshening to see the community pull together as one in preparation for the new year. Christmas time was a lot more intimate and about spending time with those closest to you. But New Years was _all _about the celebration. She spots a small boy, who was probably still in kindergarten, waving at her as he held onto his mother hand while she spoke to her neighbour in her yard. She smiles, waves back and begins to pick up the pace, letting the crisp breeze whisper across her skin and through her hair.

_They'll name a city after us,_

_And later say it's all out fault._

_Then they'll give us a talking to,_

_Then they'll give us a talking to._

_'Cause they've got years of experience._

She runs away from the suburbs, running past fields where snowdrops grow for acres in the hard soil, adding the much needed touch to the wintry scene. She runs across an empty football field where the grass crunches beneath her feet and soon she's running into town; running down the same lively promenade she did with Santana before. The place is alive with glowing faces, men are still drunk from the night before as they stumble out of bars with their arms wrapped around each other, singing incoherently and out of tune. People of all ages huddle at the market as special holiday offers are called out, where buyers wave the money around in their hands. She doesn't stop to tend to her curiosity and enjoys the scene from a distance instead.

_We're living in a den of thieves,_

_Rummaging for answers in the pages._

_We're living in a den of thieves, _

_And it's contagious._

She eventually slows down and soon she's taking small strides down the busy path. She rests her hands on her sides and breathes slowly through her mouth as she listens to her heart fluttering healthfully. There is something about today, something in the air and something in the way she views the world around her... Something magical.

She stops in front of an old town house building on the main road; it's the oldest running candy store in Lima that is favoured by many. She peeks at the offers in the window: there's a chocolate fountain in the centre of the main display, surrounded by multi-coloured candy canes. Candy dots and dew drops are presented neatly in sugar bowls and fudge blocks are stacked into a tower in the smaller window. She grins in excitement and hops eagerly up the steps and even misses a few. When she enters the store, she's greeted by the sound of a bell ringing and the overwhelming scent of every glorious smell that there was: strawberries, raspberries, oranges, bananas, cinnamon, pot-pourri, mint and rose Turkish Delight attacked her senses. It's glorious.

She slowly makes her way down the aisle, tilting her head high up to eye the countless containers stacked on the shelves that hold Bonbons in every possible flavour. Her mouth waters, cries out to her, asking her to taste all the sweet delicacies in the room and it's hard to say no. When she arrives at the front counter, she rings the old fashioned buzzer and waits patiently for assistance. When no one arrives immediately, she wonders if there's anyone working at all and rings again. A few moments later, a much older man, elderly, probably mid-eighties appears from the back room. His back is so hunched that he leans heavily on his cane, and despite struggling to make it only a few steps, he greets Brittany warmly with a big smile as he peers through his glasses that sit on his nose.

"_My, my_, aren't you the picture? How can I help you, dear?" he says, taking his flat cap from his head and bows. Brittany dips her head and grins bashfully.

"I was wondering if I could get some candy for my girlfriend?" She asks shyly.

"Well of course!" The old man chuckles out. "What sort of candy were you hoping for?" He asks, stroking his white beard. Brittany purses her lips and narrows her eyes in thought.

"I'm... I'm not even sure, sir." She wonders. "I wish I could buy the whole store and give it to her, but I don't think I have enough money for _that_." She shrugs.

"Well, why don't you start off by telling me how much you brought today?"

Brittany sticks out the tip of her tongue and begins raking through her pocket and pulls out a lump of cash before dumping it onto the glass counter. The pair of them sieve through the change and separate the bills from the coins.

"Eighteen dollars and fifty-one cents," Brittany counts out and the old man laughs out heartily.

"Well, I don't want you spending _that _much on my candy now, as wonderful as it tastes. But you're lucky; I've got the perfect choice for you!" He lifts a finger before turning around and shuffles his tired legs over to the shelf behind him.

"I remember, when I first met my wife, I gave this exact same candy to her," he recalls as he climbs carefully up onto the step-ladder and pushes some containers aside. Brittany stretches her neck in hopes of catching a little peek but is unsuccessful. "The first time she tasted it, she told me that it was the most wonderful thing she had ever tasted in her life and we've been together ever since."

Brittany beams, such story makes her heart dance in the best possible way. The old man sighs out an "_Aah!" _when he finds what he's looking for and proceeds to hobbling down the ladder again. When he turns around, he presents Brittany with a yellow tin.

"Napoleon Bonbons?" Brittany reads.

"They're magic y'know!" The old man chortles out, wrapping the tin in a roll of gift paper. "They bring people together."

"I could really use some magic right now; I'm hoping for a miracle to happen, something I've been praying about for as long as I can remember," Brittany explains, counting up the money in her hand.

"And what might that be?" He asks. Brittany looks at him and blushes, not entirely sure if he would understand. "No need to tell me, kid," he tells her, observing the way her face reddened rather than radiated. "You're in love... how wonderful!" He winks and pops the container into a gift bag as the Bonbons rattle around in the tin. "Take it from me child,I'm a man who has had everything I could have wished for. My wife was a extraordinary woman and I have happy, healthy children and grandchildren. I am blessed," he smiles. "So if you're crazy about this girl, don't waste any time. You see, _true _love is the _real _miracle. Catch it while you can, kiddo."

Brittany takes the bag from him before pausing to think. If what this man said was true, then the miracle had already happened; her wish had already come true and now she just needed to believe it.

"How much do I owe you?" she asks the old man who chuckles out once more, holding his belly.

"Not a dime, take it as a late Christmas gift from me," he tells her. Brittany beams up to him and grins.

"Wow! Thank you, sir!" She exclaims.

"Call me, Rodger. Good luck and God bless you!"

"Happy New Year for t'morrow!" Brittany calls back as she skips out of the door.

Yes, being in love was the most wonderful feeling in the world. It made her feel invisible.

She rummages through her pocket and presses play on her iPod as she hops down the steps before breaking out into a jog again.

_We wear our scarves just like a noose,_

_But not 'cause we want eternal sleep._

_And though out parts are slightly used,_

_New ones are slave labor you can keep._

She runs back past the yelling market people and the drunk singing men as they fall out of bar doorways. She runs across the football field where a few men begin to warm up for a later game and past the fields where melting ice drips from the petals of the snowdrop flowers.

_They made a statue of us,_

_They made a statue of us._

_The tourists come and stare at us._

_The sculptor's marble sends regards._

_They made a statue of us,_

_They made a statue of us._

_Our noses have begun to rust._

Soon she's back in her neighbourhood and stops to take a breath. As she paces along the sidewalk towards her house, she can't help but direct her attention next door to Santana's old home.

_We're living in a den of thieves,_

_Rummaging for answers in pages._

_We're living in a den of thieves,_

_And it's contagious._

_And it's contagious._

She peers at the doorbell and then over to her house before glancing back. She raises her arm and holds a finger in front of the button but doesn't push it yet. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and counts to five before pressing down. Shortly afterwards she can see a shadow shifting behind the distorted glass of the door but she remains calm as the door unlocks and swings open.

Before her, stands Anita, dressed in a full grey suit with a pencil skirt and black heels as if she were about to attend a meeting. Anita takes one look at her and her eyes widen with surprise.

"You should be ashamed of yourself!" Brittany blurts out, scowling at her on her very door step. "I hope the new year brings you to your senses and you realise you have a daughter who _needs _a loving parent. That's all she's ever wished for. So you think about that when you go home every night to an empty house!" Brittany couldn't believe she was standing there at that very moment, giving Anita her piece of mind on her own property, but it felt good. "That's all I have to say to you," she continues, a little more calmly. "Goodbye!" And with that, she spins back around and trots down the path, leaving Anita completely flabbergasted in her doorway.

* * *

><p>"Brittany, honey, can you fetch me the butter from the refrigerator, please?" Grace asks as she slices her home-made honey-oat loaf of bread. Brittany leans forward at the table and kicks her chair back before jumping up to make her away across to the other side of the kitchen.<p>

"You never told me what happened with you and dad," Brittany recollects as she scans the shelves of the refrigerator with her eyes.

"What do you mean?" Grace responds. She nips her thumb with the carving knife and hisses out.

"That story you told me about when you two first met; you said that he wanted to take you out but you would only accept if he guessed your name correctly?" Brittany replies, closing the fridge door with the side of her shoulder as she carries a pack of butter as well as two eggs, a carton of milk and a box of strawberries in her arms. She takes them over to where Grace is preparing food on her countertop and drops the contents gently onto the marble surface. "You said that dad said he'd guess your name one more time, and if he got it wrong, then he would leave you alone forever."

"That's _right!" _Grace teases as a smile creeps up on her lips. "But I only asked for butter, sweetie."

"I know, but I wanted to make something special," Brittany says although she is unsure of what to make exactly. "Well, did he guess your name right?"

"Nope!" Grace sighs.

"No?" Brittany asks, a little confused.

"No," her mother repeats.

"But then how? Huh?" Brittany's talks in a higher pitch as she tries to make sense of the scenario and Grace can't help but laugh at her daughter's deer in the headlights expression.

"Remember when I told you that he promised never to forget my name?" She asks and Brittany nods, rolling one egg around in her hand. "Well, that final night of our camping trip, I eventually told him my name and we didn't speak again. I went off to college to study and he packed up at the old shoe factory and joined the forces. For a couple of years, I never heard about him, not once, and then in 1989 he was involved in an explosion in the Afghan Civil war. It was Spring... The Battle of Jalalabad." Grace recalls as she begins to daydream although Brittany listens acutely and observes with attentive eyes.

"He was a Colonel and involved in some covert operations. Anyway, he was flown back to the US with a shattered skull and had been in a coma for a couple of weeks. When he returned home they thought that he wasn't going to recover ever. Soon after he came home the news started to spread around, old school friends would visit him but I was too busy at the other end of the country enjoying college life." Brittany can see the tears begin to well up in her mother's eyes as she takes a breath.

"I had just returned back to school in the fall when I received a call at three in the morning. It was James' parents. After six months of being in a coma he had finally woken up and before he even moved a muscle or even tried to register where he was, the first things that escaped his lips was-"

"_Grace," _Brittany whispers and her mother nods, feeling a little overwhelmed.

"When he went on to make a full recovery, the doctors couldn't believe it. They said it was a miracle."

"A _miracle?_" Brittany coos out before staring down at her bare hands.

"He kept his promise, even after all those years of nothing, he remembered my name." Grace still shakes her head in disbelief. "So I got on the first plane to Arizona and accepted his offer to take me out on a date. And the rest is history." Grace grins, giggling.

"A miracle..." Brittany repeats again, smiling to herself.

* * *

><p>The sound of kids screaming and crying with laughter echoes across the neighbourhood as they chase each other excitedly. The night of New Years Eve draws nearer and the entire community has been transformed into a dance floor for the annual street party event in anticipation for 2012. This is the Pierce family's first street party, but it is only one of many for Santana. Yet this year is different because she has something to celebrate which is that this is the happiest she's ever been and nothing can take that away from her.<p>

As the D.J starts mixing tracks in the middle of the crescent of houses, red plastic cups are scattered across the sidewalks along with party string and glitter as people of all ages come together to listen. Brittany watches from her porch, smiling from cheek to cheek and sips her own red cup full of vodka and lemonade. She watches her parents in the middle of the road as they hold each other with their drinks raised in the air, swaying to the music as if they were still the teenagers they once were. If Brittany were to have half the relationship that her parents have then she would die happy.

A couple of kids run by with sparklers as they paint their name in the air; it reminds her of when she was a kid. New Years was the only occasion when she was allowed to be up past ten. She can remember always feeling excited on the night; she would be bursting full of energy, just like a firework and would feel like that all the way up to the final countdown. And as the timer counted ten; she'd cover her ears, squeeze her eyes shut and then make _one _wish. When she would open her eyes, she would do the same thing ever year. She would walk over to her mom and reach for her hand, but she could never take it."

Santana creeps up behind her on the porch and wraps her arms around Brittany's stomach, resting her chin on her shoulder. They stand like that for a few minutes; exactly like the way Grace and James are standing as they watch the D.J work the turntables.

"It's amazing how much your parents still love each other, after all these years," Santana sighs, nuzzling her head into Brittany's beige scarf. Brittany giggles and nods.

"I guess opposites really do attract," Brittany gleams as the lights from the strobe flicker off her face.

"I guess they do," Santana squeezes her.

"I missed you today," Brittany pouts, turning her head to look at Santana.

"Well that's what you get for not coming with me to buy stupid fireworks with your dad, the line was _crazy! _I swore to myself if by the time we got to the counter and everything were sold out then there would be some _real _explosions and it would be coming from my mouth." Santana shakes her head while Brittany snorts out. "Yeah, your dad thought it was funny too."

Santana takes a deep breath and twists her head so she's facing her own house. She immediately spots a shadowed figure sitting on the old bench her father made from timber from the forest. Her mother is looking out to the celebrating crowd where not one person is left out. Her face is like a portrait, gazing off to the horizon, wondering at what point she lost the meaning of life and if she'll ever get it back. It makes Santana's stomach twist and she can't look for long. Her mother had never come out to celebrate since her father had left, and even though she now sits alone, she is still there.

"Santana?" Brittany whispers.

"Mhmm," Santana mumbles, closing her eyes and turns to kiss Brittany's shoulder.

"Just makin' sure you're still here," Brittany replies.

"I'm always here," Santana laughs, squeezing Brittany again.

"Good, 'cause I love this song!" Brittany grins, taking Santana's unbroken hand from her stomach and begins running down the stairs of her porch and down the path of her yard.

"Ouch! Brittany, fractured ribs here!" Santana cringes, holding onto her side. Brittany lets go of her hand and sprints into the centre of the circle of houses.

"I _hate _this song! I _loathe _it!" Santana shouts as tries to keep up but Brittany just spins around and motions her over before the lyrics begin:

_There ain't no reason you and me should be alone tonight,_

_Yeah baby, tonight, yeah baby._

_I got a reason that you_

_Who should take me home tonight._

As Santana slowly makes her way through the crowd, she can make Brittany out right in the centre, lost in her own little world as she twirls around and begins kicking her feet as she jumps up and down. Santana just chuckles and shakes her head.

_I need a man that thinks it's right when it's all wrong tonight,_

_Yeah baby, tonight, yeah baby._

_Right on the limb is where we know_

_We both belong tonight_.

Santana scrunches up her face as Brittany sings along, moving her body in time with the beat. Brittany spots her through the crowd and stretches out her arm, pleading for Santana to come out and join her in her rare moment of absolute bliss; she is loving every second.

_It's hard to feel the rush_

_To brush the dangerous_

_I'm gonna run right to, to the edge with you_

_Where we can both fall far in love._

When Santana shakes her head, pointing to her ribs, it only takes a sad pout from Brittany for Santana to change her mind. Carefully, she weaves her way through the crowd as they finally notice Brittany on the centre of the dance floor. Santana is soon by her side and they both face the crowd that now cheers for them to dance off.

"You ready, baby?" Brittany pants out, smiling smugly.

"Never!" Santana cries out playfully, making sure to take it easy.

_I'm on the edge of glory,_

_And I'm hanging on a moment of truth._

_Out on the edge of glory,_

_And I'm hanging on a moment with you._

The girls begin a duel as they spin around each other, although, when Brittany leaps and twirls in the air, Santana can only hop on the spot and bob her head up and down as they sing to each other.

_I'm on the edge, the edge, the edge_

_The edge, the edge, the edge, the edge._

_I'm on the the edge of glory_

_And I'm hanging on a moment with you_

_I'm on the edge with you_

They point to each other back and forth and to the crowd as they sing along and when Grace notices all the cheering, she jumps on James' back to get a better look before she drops her jaw with surprise.

"James? James! That's Brittany! That's out baby dancing up there!" She shouts ecstatically and wriggles around in excitement so much that James finds it difficult to keep his balance. "Our baby's finally dancing again! Ah-hah!"

_Another shot before we kiss the other side_

_Tonight, yeah baby, tonight, yeah baby_

_I'm on the edge of something final_

_We call life tonight, all right, all right_

The crowd begins to roar when Brittany loses herself completely and gets lost in her own little world. She's howling with laughter so much she could cry and Santana's there right beside her, drinking up every moment, a moment she wants to remember forever.

_Put on your shades 'cause I'll be dancing in the flames_

_Tonight, yeah baby, tonight, yeah baby_

_It isn't hell if everybody knows my name_

_Tonight, all right, all right_

From afar, Anita watches the two teenage girls as they rile up the crowd. Installed disco lights in the booth shoot beams of multi-coloured light far up into the sky and reflect off the light clouds that hover down low. She has never seen her daughter smile and laugh so much in her life. She looks like a completely different person.

_It's hard to feel the rush_

_To brush the dangerous_

_I'm gonna run right to, to the edge with you_

_Where we can both fall far in love._

"THAT'S OUR BABY! THAT'S OUR BABY!" Grace yells on top of James' shoulders. They are the proudest parents on the planet.

_I'm on the edge of glory_

_And I'm hanging on a moment of truth_

_Out on the edge of glory_

_And I'm hanging on a moment with you_

Brittany plants her feet firmly on the ground, closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Santana backs to the side, holding on to her sides tiredly but eagerly waits for Brittany show off her next move. Brittany bends her knees slightly and begins the coda as the song begins to transition into the next track; spinning around and not stopping as the crowd counts along.

_I'm on the edge, the edge, the edge_

_The edge, the edge, the edge, the edge._

She tumbles over on seven spins but raises her hands in the air and throws her head back in laughter.

_I'm on the the edge of glory_

_And I'm hanging on a moment with you_

_I'm on the edge with you._

Santana fist pumps the air with the arm that's covered in a cast and cheers along as the crowd applauds her. Out of breath, Brittany turns to Santana who mouths, '_I love you so much_' while applauding, as she shakes her head and turns back to the crowd to bow. This is the most alive Brittany has ever felt.

But when she gazes across the many faces that smile and cheer towards her, she can't help feel a little panicked. Arms are outstretched as the crowd draws nearer and she glances once again at Santana who glares at the crowd worriedly.

"Time to scoot!" She shouts out and ducks her head before breaking her way through out of the crowd.

"Brittany!" Santana shouts. "Where you are you going?"

"Catch me if you can!" She calls back as her laugh echoes into the night. Santana watches as Brittany makes her way towards the old park and forest before a rather tipsy man asks her to take a hold of a box of sparklers for him while he ties his laces. Santana hesitates but doesn't have much choice when he dumps the box in her arms and bends down to his shoe.

"Sir, uhh..." She stutters as Brittany disappears into the darkness. "Sorry! I gotta go, I gotta go!" She apologises and begins to skip past the crowd, forgetting to give him back the box of sparklers. "Brittany, wait! I can't run so fast!" She complains, holding her side with one arm and the box of sparklers in the other.

* * *

><p>By the time Santana reaches Brittany at the fringe of the forest, she's almost keeling over in pain. Brittany doesn't notice her at first as she gazes up to the sky, watching as dark clouds sail beneath the stars.<p>

"There's a storm coming," Brittany calls out softly.

"That's great, but we've got to get back or else we'll miss the countdown!" Santana pants out, leaning against the trunk of an Evergreen tree. Brittany purses her lips and peers into the opening of the forest; it's pitch black, dangerous. But Brittany sees it as an invitation.

"Santana, can we go to the lake?" She asks and Santana almost chokes on her tongue.

"Now? But it's so dark and I don't have a light and we'll miss the celebration with everyone."

"I just want it to be you and me, I don't care about anyone else," Brittany shakes her head and glances over to Santana who is hunched forward, still trying to catch her breath. "I suppose those sparklers could serve as a source of light."

Santana looks at the content in her hands and drops the box. _Of course._

"Brittany, I'm dying here, I can barely walk ten steps never mind a mile or two" Santana complains

"I'll take you on my back." Brittany certainly wasn't giving up. Santana takes a deep breath, tilts her head and looks at Brittany who is looking straight back. There's something in the way Brittany's eyes glimmer with hope under the night that reminds Santana of the very first time they met. It's the way her brows knit together in determination that tells Santana that she isn't going to be the scared little girl any more; that she doesn't want to run away and hide; that tonight she wants everything. There's is a _need _buried in the depths of her beautiful and damn right hypnotic eyes and Santana can't say no. She just can't. And she knows then, that tonight is when it's all about to change.

"You wanna go to the lake?" Santana asks, just to make sure, still trying to catch her breath. The side of Brittany's mouth curls up as she nods and it's almost as if she transitions from a curious high school girl in her late teens to a confident young woman who strives for the very best and doesn't stop until she gets it. Santana roams her eyes from Brittany's grey knee-high boots, all the way up her body to the top of her matching beret hat. "Okay then we'll go to the lake." Yep, Brittany is definitely in control and always has been.

Brittany reaches down and grabs the box of sparklers before pulling half a dozen out and reaches in Santana's jacket pocket to lift out a lighter and a stubbed out joint before they exchange a knowing look.

"I had a little bit okay? I'm in pain!" Santana raises her palms innocently.

"I didn't say nothing..." Brittany rolls her eyes but can't help smiling. "As long as my parents don't find out."

"I found it from ages ago anyway," Santana bites her bottom lip. Brittany just shakes her head and passes the box of sparklers back to Santana.

"Get on my back, you cripple," Brittany jokes and Santana huffs, playfully snatching the box from her.

"You know I've never looked more sexier," Santana retorts with a little shimmy and a wink as she waves her broken wrist around. She brushes behind Brittany before hopping up onto her back but not without cringing as her ribs get jostled a little. Brittany rips open one of the sparkler packages with her teeth and pulls out a long metal stick. She flicks the lighter with her thumb and holds the flame against the end until it takes light and begins spewing out flickers of fire and light. And with that, Brittany sets off into the deep forest as Santana holds tightly onto her back.

The girls run against time as they make their way through the silent wood; not even a rustling in the branches can be heard as the birds and other inhabitants anticipate the moment when the night sky alights with fire, or more so, the storm to quickly follow.

Santana skims the murky forest floor with her eyes, trying to memorise the track so they don't get lost on the way back and immediately, she notices her father's old tree stub merely a few feet away.

"Stop!" She calls out and Brittany stops dead on her tracks. "Stop, I need to see my papa's tree one more time. Santana slides off Brittany's back and takes the lighter from her hand. She lights another sparkler for both of them and it gives time for Brittany to actually enjoy the experience of holding one as she writes her name in the air.

"_Magic!" _She whispers.

Santana holds her sparkler near to the ground as she makes her way over to the familiar tree stub before she holds the light up against the flaking wood. She can still make out the faint initials '_SL and Papa' _carved into old and long dead tree – it isn't as if she thinks the carvings would have disappeared in the months since she last crossed this path, but it is still always nice to see. And she realises that even though he may have moved on now; for whatever reason,there was a point where when Santana really _was _his number one girl whom he cherished with his heart and that is enough for Santana. She is going to remember him like that.

She wipes the wet trail from the single tear that falls from her cheek and takes a deep breath before skewing the sparkler into the soil next to the old stub.

"Happy New Year, Dad," she whispers and watches their initials under the soft glow before the light eventually fizzles out. She stays still in the darkness for a moment and can sense nothing but the smell of the smoking ozone like a candle that has just been blown out. Then completely out of the blue, a wave of chills rips through her skin and courses down her back causing her to shiver; as if some kind of spirit were trying to reach out to her. Well, they say that these woods are haunted after all.

"Santana, we only have eleven minutes left," Brittany calls out, sitting down on the same mossy rock she did when she first came here. "We gotta go."

"I'm coming," Santana stands back up and checks her surroundings wearily. "I don't want to be here much longer." She quickly retreats back to the main path before jumping onto Brittany's back as they set flight once again.

When they reach the fringe of the forest again, neither of them say a word. Brittany lets Santana down gently from her back and takes her hand as they make their way onto the grass.

It's exactly how she remembered; the stars shine brighter here than anywhere else as they align in the sky and reflect in the ripples of the lake. It's a picture. It's a dream and a scene one only sees in a movie, except it was is actually real life.

"It never gets old, does it?" Santana whispers as they slowly make their way down the slope and onto the cobbles at the beach.

"It's timeless," Brittany replies as her eyes glaze over. Santana watches her and her face is exactly the same way it was when they first came here together. She can't believe they haven't come more often; then guesses that it is the rare moments like these that made the whole experience _really _timeless.

Brittany's eyes are watering again as she watches the same old fireflies dancing above lake like old friends coming to say hi. The only difference tonight is the monstrous black clouds that slowly close in around them, but they still have a little time left until the lake is completely pitch black. Brittany rubs her mittens together before sliding one of them off and then the other, stuffing them into her jacket pocket. She takes off her beret, allowing the cool breeze to wisp along her skin and through her hair and takes in a long, deep breath while closing her eyes, feeling every inch of freedom in that moment.

"You look so beautiful," Santana says gently and Brittany turns to her to find her gazing back lovingly. Santana is also beautiful, especially tonight and the way her ringlets fall across her shoulders while the moonlight reflects off the top of her head, creates a halo. Her skin is white as powder but her eyes are as dark and as deep as the night before them.

_Ten!_

The girls turn their heads in the direction of where the crowd must be starting the countdown back at their neighbourhood a few miles away.

_Nine!_

"Make a wish, Brittany," Santana says and Brittany looks at her again with her lips slightly parted.

_Eight!_

This is it: for years she has prayed and prayed for this night. From the moment she woke up this morning, to meeting the old man at the candy store and then hearing her mother's story of how her parents met, she knew tonight would be special.

_Seven!_

She returns her gaze back to the lake and the clouds have nearly covered the entire sky apart from the area above their heads where the stars still fight to shine.

_Six!_

She closes her eyes and covers her ears and Santana nuzzles in next to her, linking her arm with Brittany's.

_Five!_

The crowd can be heard going crazy and Santana can feel something shift as the seconds tick by; it's the slowest ten seconds of her life but the most intense and most anticipated she's ever felt.

_Four!_

Brittany inhales a deep breath and tells herself to hold it in until the clock strikes twelve. She can feel her heart begin to race as her skin bursts into flames.

_Three!_

"Make a wish, Brittany. Make a wish and I promise you, it'll come true, I swear," Santana whispers.

_Two!_

"_Two," _Brittany repeats with a whisper.

_One!_

Brittany opens her eyes again and gazes out to the lake.

_HAPPY NEW YEAR!_

Everything is still for a moment and even though Brittany takes her hands away she can't hear anything apart from her own breath as she finally exhales. Everything is in slow motion and soon the sky is painted with dazzling beams of light as fireworks explode off into the night, where fire in every colour falls like spiders down from the heavens above and into the lake. The night is alive; the night is well; the night is a brand new year, a brand new day; a brand new beginning.

"Happy New Year, Britt," Santana whispers, squeezing her arm. Brittany can only hear her faintly but once again she turns around to face Santana.

"Happy, New Year, Santana," Brittany replies as they gaze into each others eyes.

"What did you wish fo-"

"I love you," Brittany interrupts and Santana has to make sure she isn't hearing things.

"Huh?" She asks.

"I _love _you, Santana." She repeats. Santana's smile fades as she realises that Brittany means it one hundred percent without any question of her disorder getting in the way. Brittany _knows _what she is saying and she actually means it.

"I am _so _in love with you that I know if I were to die right now, It would be okay because that's all I've _ever _wished for, Santana." Brittany has to take a breath to stop her words and her heart from shaking. "My wish was to be able to fall in love but I never thought it would be a reality," she cries out as salty tears drop on to the cobbles at their feet. Santana chokes out, covering her mouth, absolutely exasperated with what she is hearing.

"My wish already came true, Santana; because of you." She cries out, smiling from ear to ear and Santana joins her, dropping her head onto Brittany's chest.

"I don't know what to say!" Santana giggles. "I love you too!" But Brittany already knows that.

Although, for Brittany to say those three words and actually mean it is all Santana wants to hear for a very, very long time. "My stomach's doing crazy somersaults," Santana laughs out.

"Mine too!" Brittany squeezes her eyes shut and wraps her arms around Santana shoulders to squeeze them too. When they pull back again they can only gaze at each other silently; there is nothing left to say.

The first sign of the storm finally arrives as one single snowflake breaks away from the angry bundle in the sky and drifts for miles towards where the girls are standing by the lake in the middle of the night. It drifts from side to side; one helpless snowflake which manages to travel the farthest it will ever travel in its short life before it falls onto the very end of Santana's nose. The rest of them aren't as kind as they drop in heavier bundles of slushy rain. Yet, the snowflake at the end of Santana's nose still fights to stay frozen.

Brittany notices the snowflake and slowly, she lifts her hand in front of Santana's face

"_Stay still," _Brittany whispers as her feet and finger tips begin to tingle. Santana watches with wide eyes and almost wants to pull away but she does as she's told. Brittany leans in further and spreads her hand just millimetres in front of Santana's face. And with one quick swipe, she brushes the snowflake from Santana's nose with her very thumb.

The pair are frozen with shock although Brittany's thumb still lingers there. Their heart races in synchronisation and Santana's pretty sure that she isn't actually awake as the world around them completely disappears. The light from the fireworks illuminate the sides of their faces in all sorts of colours: red, blue, green, yellow. And for the first time in her life, it's as if Brittany is _truly _seeing in colour. She brushes her thumb slowly down Santana's nose as her fingertips lightly graze Santana's cheek and soon she's caressing her face, making sure to savour every single feeling under her grasp.

"I can't believe this is happening," Santana says shakily as tears form in the corners of her eyes.

"_It's a miracle..." _Brittany whispers out. And it truly is.

Santana closes her eyes as a tear slowly cascades down her cheek; for someone who has been unable to touch anyone at all for the majority of her life, Brittany makes Santana feel so vulnerable, yet so _loved_ under her touch; more than anyone has ever done in her life. Brittany leans her head closer and watches the tear as it stops travelling down Santana's face. She takes Santana's head in both hands and leans in until her bottom lip grazes across Santana's cheek before she lightly kisses the tear away, causing Santana to melt even further in her hands. It's the best thing that Brittany has ever felt; showing her love through a simple touch and she knows there and then that she will remember this moment until her dying day.

She turns her head back around to face Santana again. Her eyes are now open and searching, pleading for her to make the moment absolutely perfect. Brittany rests her forehead against Santana's as she brings one hand down to caress the side of Santana's neck before running her hand through her pitch black hair. She takes her other hand, all the while gazing into Santana's eyes and brushes her bottom lip with her thumb. It feels softer than she could have imagined. She drops her gaze onto her lips which are slightly parted before looking back up for permission and Santana is more than willing as she closes her eyes and nuzzles her nose against Brittany's.

Ever so slowly, Brittany pulls Santana closer and dips her head, lightly pressing her lips against Santana's. It's short, but tender and when Santana pulls away, Brittany's already eager for more. They stare at each other as if what has just happened isn't real. That it _couldn't _be. It is too good to be true.

"I really can't believe this is ha-"

"Shh," Brittany hushes Santana by pressing her index finger over her mouth but soon replaces it with her own mouth as she takes Santana's bottom lip in between her own, pressing a little harder this time. It's only then they notice that the heavy clouds have finally broken, as violent raindrops fall on the tops of their heads and patter off the cobbles and splash into the lake beside them.

When they break apart again, the rain is so hard that it impairs their vision, making it hard for them to see each other.

"We're gonna get soaked!" Santana shouts as noise from the thunder roars and the rain hitting the lake hums loudly.

"I don't care!" Brittany laughs out, tilting her face up to the sky as rain washes over her. "I'm so happy!" She continues when she looks back down. "I don't care," she cries out; she can feel her warm tears against the cold drops of rain as both fall down her face. She looks at Santana now, who holds a similar expression. Overwhelmed by emotion, Santana jumps up and crashes her lips against Brittany's once again as the thunder crashes in the sky while lighting illuminates the lake.

They cry against each other's lips as they repeatedly kiss one another; making up for all those kisses they have lost. Brittany bends down and lifts Santana up as she wraps her legs around Brittany's waist. Freezing rain pelts across their skin and clothes but they no longer care as their skin burns with fire. They laugh together, they cry together; they fall in love over and over and over again with each other as they finally become one. Under the rain, under the stars, under the world that made them ever believe that this moment, this life changing moment was never possible.

They have finally found each other.

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><p><em>End of Chapter XVIII<em>

**Triiiiiiiip! (Okay I might still be a little drunk) **

**Please review because it's only going to get even better ;)**

**Thank you and I love you all. **


	19. Chapter XIX

___[AN] Hey! First of all, I am so overwhelmed by your reviews for the last chapter, I am so thrilled that you enjoyed it so much, really! I would never have guessed that they would kiss first on the show before in this story. It was close, I suppose, lol.___

___Sorry about the wait there to get the new chapter up, there was an issue with my emails getting sent out so the chapter was hanging in limbo for a few days there. But as ever, thank you to my beta, Sinanna who is just amazing. Can't thank her enough. :)___

___Also, for this chapter you can listen to this auditory ( Youtube and add: /watch?v=IGRwKSQMUfc ) quietly in the background, to help set the mood. Although, some people may find it distracting so it's entirely optional. ___

___Anyway, here's Part 2 for New Years Night and this chapter get's an M warning for reasons. ;) Enjoy!___

**__**_CHAPTER XIX_**__**

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><p>The rain sets in harder than ever before tonight and the grand evergreens no longer seek to reach the sky as they hunch over in the howling wind. The lake's tide crashes against the cobbles on the beach and waves splay out like arms reaching for the shore. However, Brittany and Santana are nowhere in sight.<p>

It is the first New Years the streets have emptied of people so quickly after midnight since the bellowing thunder literally crashes the whole party. Water runs ankle deep and some parts of the neighbourhood flood as the rain continues to pelt down from the black skies, with no intention of stopping any time soon.

Although, through the pouring rain and battering winds, the silhouette of two girls latching tightly onto one another can be seen as they carefully hurry down the pathway leading out from the forest. Every time a crash of lighting illuminates the sky, their faces can be seen flinching as they duck their heads away from the icy rain which stings their skin.

* * *

><p>The porch door creaks open and it takes all of the girls' strength to stop the door from swinging fully open in the wind. Their teeth chatter violently in synchronisation as they finally make their way inside Brittany's house. Although the storm outside continues to rage on, for once it's to their advantage. It must be much into the early hours of the morning and if Brittany's parents were to wake up and see what state they are in, then there would definitely have to be some rules set in place, and Santana has never been good with <em>rules.<em>

"I c-can't feel anything..." Santana shivers as they kick off their sodden, water-logged shoes. "My hands are b-blue!"

Brittany peels back her soaked mittens and wrings them out in her hands, ignoring the puddle that she makes at her feet.

"Why d-do we always get wet together? It's such a crazy coincidence," Brittany wonders as she rubs her hands together for friction in an attempt to heat them up.

"_Wanky..."_Santana replies in a low hushed voice, peeking out of the door to watch the storm erupt right above the house. "D'you think if we got struck by lightning, it would warm us up?"

"If you mean warm us up by completely frying us to our death then yes, most definitely," Brittany replies as she joins Santana at the door, watching as bright flashes of light bounce off the clouds.

"If we didn't get pneumonia the last two times then we definitely will this time, I can p-practically feel the water gurgling around in my lungs," Santana fusses as she shudders with the cold.

"_Shh_," Brittany whispers and places her index finger across Santana's lips. Santana looks at her finger with crossed eyes before looking up to Brittany and grinning. At least there is one good thing that comes out of this all, and it is definitely worth getting pneumonia for. "_Let's go upstairs," _Brittany suggests and takes a hold of Santana's hand, interlocking their fingers before they make their way through the darkness where the storm is the only source of light.

Despite the deafening disturbance from outside, James and Grace still manage to remain sound asleep and Brittany agrees with Santana that it is the best idea _not _to wake them up, in case they couldn't get back down again. She will just have to tell them the exciting news in the morning.

The girls stumble into the bedroom, still high from their time together at the lake and even though they are beyond drenched and dangerously freezing, nothing can shake their mood. They share small pecks as they attempt to peel off their jackets, but for Santana and her cast, she deems it as rather impossible.

"Brittany," She mumbles as she walks backwards until her ankles hit the end of the bed.

"Mhmm," Brittany sighs, pressing her lips gently against Santana's again although they still tingle from the cold.

"I can't..." Santana breathes between kisses. "I can't get my jacket off," she then giggles against Brittany's lips. "I can't feel my fucking hands or anything!"

Brittany steps back and looks at Santana, watching the way the lighting from the storm strikes off her face. She's smiling from ear to ear and Brittany can tell it's genuine from the dimple that appears just under her left cheek bone.

"Can you help me, Britt?" Santana asks, training her eyes on the way raindrops still cascade down the side of Brittany's face that escape from her soaked head of hair. Brittany offers a smile and gently takes the collar of Santana's jacket in both hands where the material sticks to her damp skin. She watches her own fingers as she slowly peels back the jacket and she can see Santana's chest rise as she inhales deeply. She returns her gaze back to Santana who's looking at her attentively, her eyes as curious and as anxious as Brittany's own.

Brittany slides the jacket down past Santana's free arm and then works on the other which requires a little more effort but keeps her gaze locked on Santana. Once the jacket is free, she drops it to the ground with a plunk, the material heavy from being soaked.

"_There you go..." _Brittany whispers as she falls deeper into Santana's gaze. "_That wasn't so hard."_

They stand there for a moment, completely still and silent; calm even, unlike the furious storm that aggravates the earth outside. Numb from the cold but warm with the passion that delves inside her, Brittany takes Santana's face gently in her hands and and sweeps in to steal another kiss. Only this time, it is more fiery and Santana is more than willing. Brittany softly nudges Santana's mouth open with the tip of her nose before locking her lips around Santana's that are now parted. She lightly grazes her tongue across Santana's swollen lip as she brings her hands down from her face and around Santana's neck.

Santana brings her hands around Brittany's waist and pulls her closer until they are pressed against each other, allowing them to deepen the kiss. They explore each other's mouth eagerly, licking, nibbling, sucking and sighing hot breaths of air as they massage the other's tongue with her own. All the while, claps of thunder and rain batting against Brittany's window pane only add to their hunger as they murmur into each other's mouth and soon they have to stop for a breath.

Brittany rests her forehead against Santana's as their chests heave up and down while looking to each other's eyes that are dark with lust. Even the blues in Brittany's eyes have turned into a deep purple. She brings her hands down to Santana's waist, feeling the damp fabric of her shirt between her thumb and forefinger before looking down to study the cloth and then glances back up to Santana through her lashes.

"_It's okay," _Santana whispers breathlessly and Brittany leans back before Santana raises her arms as Brittany slowly pulls her shirt up and over her head. She studies Santana's body, her dark skin looks smooth and is still slick from the rain as specks of water slide slide down between her cleavage, enhancing the look of her breasts, and down her stomach into her navel. She wants to lick every last drop.

"_I want to..._" Brittany breathes out, feeling the tingling sensation in her fingertips as the feeling starts to return.

"What do you want, Brittany?" Santana asks, her voice husky with lust and she already knows the answer.

"I want to feel everything about you," Brittany confesses, her voice is shaky but she's never been more sure when she looks back into Santana's eyes. "_I want you._"

Santana bites down on her lip and although she's trying to stay serene, her heart is beating against her chest. She holds Brittany's gaze as she reaches behind her back and unclasps her black-laced bra with one easy swipe. She lets the straps fall down the sides of her arms teasingly while still managing to capture Brittany's full attention, and can't help the small smirk that creeps up at the corner of her lips when she eventually lets the bra fall to the ground.

Brittany flutters her eyelids for a moment before fully taking in the sight of her. Santana's damp, crinkled hair is splayed messily over her shoulders as strands stick to her skin but it only adds to her exotic appearance. Her eyes slowly travel down her companion's chest as she savours every inch of Santana's smooth skin until her gaze falls on her supple, well rounded breasts. She is the most beautiful thing Brittany has ever laid eyes on and the more she discovers of Santana, the more enchanting she gets.

"Do I see you _blushing,_Brittany?" Santana teases and it's true, Brittany's cheeks and ears have turned completely red. Instead of answering, she lifts her gaze up once more to Santana's face who now holds an alluring expression as she takes Brittany's left hand in her own and guides it slowly up to her chest. "_Here,"_she whispers as she places Brittany's palm directly on top of her right breast. Her hand is cold, but it only arouses Santana further as a warm sensation stirs in the pit of her stomach.

Brittany watches her palm on Santana's breast with her lips slightly parted in fascination before she kneads the soft mound of skin with her fingers, brushing her thumb across Santana's now erect nipple. Santana's breath alters slightly and it only encourages Brittany to work harder, to work for a bigger reaction, but when she peers back at Santana, her eyes are completely black with lust.

"_Are you nervous_?" Santana coos out quietly but Brittany shakes her head before dropping her gaze down to Santana's pouting lips and leans in for another kiss, while wrapping her free hand around Santana's waist again, pulling her closer as she massages her breast in the other.

Santana groans when Brittany becomes more aggressive with her hand and runs her own hand up through Brittany's hair and rubs her scalp. The storm outside grows more disruptive as their passion for each other also grows and soon their bodies are sizzling with _need. _Brittany slams Santana's body against her own which causes Santana to hiss in between kisses.

"Watch the ribs, baby" Santana mumbles before sucking greedily on Brittany's lower lip.

"_Sorry_," she whispers and once again, they have to stop for a breath.

"_I want you_," Brittany hums, repeating herself again.

Santana feeds off the certainty in Brittany's eyes as she slowly falls back on the bed with a smug grin as she leers up to Brittany seductively.

"Then come and get me," Santana replies, raising an eyebrow. Brittany smiles and also falls onto the bed above her. Santana takes Brittany's head in her hands and crashes their lips together. "You don't know how long I've wanted this," Santana mutters as she slides up to the centre of the bed with Brittany following directly behind. Brittany just groans in reply as she attacks Santana's neck with her mouth eagerly. She bites the heated flesh which causes Santana to hiss out again and soon Brittany's tongue is trailing across her collar bone.

"_Damn it, Brittany..._" Santana closes her eyes and lolls her head back onto the pillow.

"What did I do?" Brittany stops and looks up to her confused.

"Nothing, nothing! Keep going..."

Brittany obliges and drops her head again as she continues to trail small, wet, butterfly kisses all the way from Santana's bare shoulder and right across to the middle of her chest, before taking Santana's right nipple into her mouth, right between her teeth.

Santana's curls her toes and grabs the bed sheets in her fists as Brittany works around her chest, sucking one breast and massaging the other in her hand and soon she's panting out as the pressure between her thighs begins to build, she is _throbbing_.

Brittany is in a wonderland as she licks every last drop of rain from Santana's skin, working the whole way down to the bottom of her belly button and even then, she can't resist biting down on Santana's hipbones that form a 'V' shape, leading down below the hem line of her pants. She stops for a moment, looking for encouragement at Santana who appears more flushed than Brittany can ever remember.

"Only if you're sure," Santana nods and Brittany knows exactly what she wants. She takes her hands from Santana's sides and begins to unfasten the buttons to her jeans eagerly. It takes a little more effort for Brittany to pull off Santana's pants this time as the damp fabric sticks like glue to her thighs and calves but she eventually succeeds and soon she's kneeling on the bed between Santana's legs, who now wears nothing but her black lace panties that match her bra.

Santana catches Brittany's eye when she props her head up on the pillow for a better view. She tilts her chin slightly and licks her lips as she waits for Brittany to run the final mile. Suddenly, repeated white flashes fill the room as the lighting strobes right outside their window. They watch each other in the waves of flickering light and Santana almost looks sinister, but inviting as she plays with a lock of her hair.

Once the thunder begins again, Brittany trails her hands up Santana's silky legs before slowly circling her thumbs on the inside of Santana's thighs.

"_Please," _Santana whispers a plea. Brittany bites her lip before bending down to kiss the inside of Santana's thigh where her thumb is. She can smell Santana's sweet arousal and it takes everything in Brittany for her not to rush into things. Her fingers find the hem of Santana's panties and ever so slowly, she pulls down the fabric in a dragging pace that causes Santana to squirm on the bed. With all the teasing that Santana does, she would never have thought that Brittany would be double the antagoniser. She raises her hips in the air slightly to allow Brittany to slide the material right down past and off her ankles with ease.

Brittany props her elbows onto the mattress and shifts both of Santana's legs so they are at either side of her. Santana has never been the self-conscious kind, but watching Brittany take her in completely, makes her feel a little anxious. Brittany on the other hand is bewildered; she has always appreciated the female anatomy but now she has the most exquisite kind right in front of her, and she was is all hers.

"_You're beautiful,_" Brittany breathes down Santana's thigh as she squeezes her hips gently, taking the site of Santana fully in before she bushes the skin of her thigh with her lips.

Santana bites painfully hard on her bottom lip as she watches and waits in sheer anticipation. The way Brittany is sliding her tongue across her skin so close to the place where she wants Brittany the most has her holding her breath. She doesn't know if she can take it any longer.

But as temptation finally gives into Santana's needs, Brittany trails a finger down the entire length of Santana's swollen, sodden lips, causing her to offer a guttural moan in response and it only encourages Brittany to repeat the motion once more before she takes her hand away and looks back up to Santana to watch her reaction. Without a word, Brittany brings her finger to her mouth slowly; Santana watches as she sucks on the very tip before licking her lips to get a _real _taste of her while holding her gaze.

It's the most sensual thing Santana has seen from Brittany, from _anyone _for that matter, and she can't help her eyelids from getting heavy when Brittany's hot breath tickles her raw flesh.

The taste of Santana's sweet centre makes Brittany drunk for more, so she nudges Santana's thighs, causing her to spread her legs even wider apart and ever so lightly, brushes her lips against Santana's slick folds before she gives her nub a little kiss.

Santana throws her head back onto the pillow and luckily, the sound of the storm drowns out Santana's cries when Brittany begins to suck teasingly on her clit.

"_Fuck," _Santana pants out as she watches Brittany slowly slide her warm tongue up her dripping slit before she circles it around Santana's most sensitive spot. Santana can feel every single movement as her eyes roll to the back of her head and when Brittany dips her tongue into the depths of Santana's very centre, Santana lets out the longest, most satisfying moan.

Brittany laps up the sweet taste of Santana's arousal, causing her to groan out against Santana's skin that sends vibrations across her body. She turns her attention back to Santana's bundle of nerves as she sucks on her swollen bud and brings her hand back between Santana's thighs before inserting a finger inside of her, followed by a second.

Santana covers her face with her arm, only paying attention to her sense of touch and even blocks out the sound of the monstrous weather as Brittany moves in and out of her slowly. She can feel the way her walls close around Brittany's long, slick fingers, and the way she nibbles and sucks away at her clit.

Brittany begins to pick up a rhythm, loving how tight and warm and wet Santana feels around her and soon Santana is bucking her hips to add that extra friction.

"_Brittany..._" Santana groans out as Brittany begins to quicken the pace with her fingers. "_Brittany, baby, I want you to kiss me... come up here._"

Brittany quickly obliges and crawls up Santana's body while still remaining to pump her digits inside Santana's entrance, and crashes her lips against hers, allowing Santana to taste herself.

"I'm so close..." Santana cries and squeezes her eyes shut and it only motives Brittany to work her wrist even harder; faster as they both grunt against each other's mouth's. The sound of Brittany's palm slapping against Santana's mound pats in time with the rain and soon, Santana can't hold it any longer. "_Shit, shit, shit, shit!_" She squeaks as lightening flashes in her mind and in the sky above when Brittany sends her overboard.

"_F-UUU-CK!" _Santana screams out as every single cell in her body bursts into flames while the thunder roars outside. Brittany watches every flinch and flicker of Santana's face as she rocks her hips back and forth in Brittany's hand. Santana's brows knit together while a rush of complete ecstasy courses through her body as her orgasm lasts more than ten seconds, fifteen, twenty. She sees stars. Brittany drops her head into to the crook of her neck and listens to Santana's pulse beating erratically.

Suddenly, an overwhelming feeling of rare emotion rumbles inside of Santana's stomach, soon after she comes down from her high before warm tears blur her vision. Brittany can see them sparkling at the corners of her eyes and immediately takes her hand away as Santana whimpers out a small cry, different from what Brittany heard before.

"Santana?" Brittany asks worriedly. "What's wrong, did I hurt you?"

Santana covers her face with her hand as her shoulders heave up and down before she starts bawling out.

"Oh no! I'm so sorry!" Brittany panics, flicking the hair out of Santana's face. "Please, just tell me what I did wrong?"

"Nothing!" Santana sniffs, half laughing, half weeping out as new tears dampen her face. She moves her hand away from her face and props herself up on her pillow. "You did nothing wrong, it's just..." Santana takes a breath, wiping her eyes. "It's just that it's been a _really _long time for me... but the first time it's actually meant something," she snivels. "I just got a bit carried away, that's all," she reassures her. "Although, my side is _killing_ me!" She jokes.

Brittany waits for a moment to make sure that she's genuinely okay before kneeling next Santana and kissing the side of her temple.

"_Thank you_," Santana whispers leaning her head on Brittany's shoulder. Santana can easily fall asleep right there and then, listening to the sound of the storm outside, but the night definitely isn't over yet.

"Shit, I feel so _selfish!" _Santana exclaims and Brittany looks down at her with a frown.

"Huh?"

"This is meant you be _your _night, not mine," Santana explains and moves so she's kneeling opposite Brittany.

"But I loved every moment," Brittany tells her and Santana can't help but smile at her obliviousness.

"_Brittany..." _Santana raises a brow before offering a mischievous smirk as she motions with her finger for Brittany to move closer to which she does. "You're still wearing all of your clothes," she hints and Brittany has to do a double take of herself.

"_Oh..." _She realises before she hops off the mattress and stands in the middle of her floor as Santana watches from the bed. Brittany takes the top button of her shirt between her fingers and hesitates to look at Santana who is watching every movement intensely, undressing Brittany with her eyes. With a small nod of encouragement from Santana, Brittany begins to unfasten the buttons of her shirt before it slides off completely. How ironic that she is wearing a white lace bra, she and Santana had have been yin and yang from the very start.

Next she works on her sweat pants, untying the lace before the pants drop to her ankles with ease and soon she's standing in nothing but her underwear. For someone who covers up so much, Brittany is sure covering up a killer body and Santana has to swallow to stop the drool from escaping her lips. Brittany notices the way Santana looks at her and begins to feel a little awkward, she doesn't know _how _to be sexy like the way Santana is, so effortlessly, and no-one else had even seen her completely naked since she hit puberty.

"_Come here," _Santana gestures as she kneels at the edge of the bed. Brittany slowly walks up to her, standing directly in front as Santana leans her head in and begins softly kissing her toned stomach before wrapping her arms around Brittany's waist. Brittany watches her from above, noticing the way Santana's eyes flicker shut as she kisses around her navel while dragging her nails lightly down Brittany's back.

She leaves a trail of wet kisses up the middle of Brittany's torso and bites down on Brittany's collar bone just as Brittany did before, causing Brittany to hiss out, just as Santana did. From there, Santana begins licking and sucking on the soft skin of Brittany's neck, leaving a little mark behind and works her way up Brittany's jaw. The feeling causes the hairs on Brittany's skin to stand up as she gasps out and Santana can't help but smile against her skin. When she's finally face to face with Brittany, Santana kisses her on the lips sweetly before pulling back to watch her face.

"_Hey,_" Santana quietly chirps with a wide grin.

"_Hi..._" Brittany returns the smile before running her hands through Santana's tangled hair.

"If you feel uncomfortable, you gotta let me know, okay?" Santana asks in all seriousness and Brittany nods. "_Okay,_" Santana whispers. "_Good_."

Santana's dives in for another heated kiss, only this time she doesn't hold back when she battles Brittany's tongue for dominance all the while she reaches for the clasp of Brittany's bra and unhooks it without trouble. Brittany bites down on Santana's lip as she brings her free hand back around to massage Brittany's breast over the padding, before tearing the material away completely.

Brittany's breast is perky yet plentiful in Santana's grasp as she palms her flesh keenly, causing her pink nipples to stand erect in arousal while she moans into Santana's mouth.

"_You like that?_" Santana asks between kisses as she kneads her beast more aggressively.

"Mhmm," Brittany whimpers and Santana removes her hand, causing Brittany almost to cry out with the loss of contact until Santana begins running her fingers slowly down Brittany's stomach to the heat between Brittany's legs. Santana backs away again to watch Brittany's face as she rubs her fingers over the soaked fabric of Brittany's panties.

"My, my, you're so _wet!" _Santana teases as she rubs even harder and presses down on Brittany's most sensitive spot. Brittany jerks a little before muttering nonsensical phrases and drops her head on Santana's shoulder. Santana takes her hand away again for a moment, only to dip it underneath the material of Brittany's soaking underwear as she slides her fingers down Brittany's slippery, plump lips, causing Brittany to bite down on her shoulder as a new sort of pressure begins to build up inside of her.

"Get on the bed," Santana orders, almost growling and Brittany doesn't hesitate to jump back onto the mattress since her legs are almost collapsing anyway. Santana kneels in between Brittany's legs as Brittany did before, and grabs her panties before bringing them down her legs swiftly, throwing them to the other end of the room. There she falls on top of Brittany as skin brushes against skin and it's the most surreal yet wonderful feeling for Brittany; every warm inch of Santana's flesh on hers.

They begin exchanging deep, wet kisses again as Santana brings her hand between Brittany's legs before she begins circling her middle finger around Brittany's sensitive spot, spreading her arousal around her heated flesh. Brittany lets out small whimpers as Santana manipulates her more eagerly until Brittany can't wait any longer.

"_Santana?" _She pants against Santana's lips but Santana can guess what she wants and stops her motions vaguely to glance at Brittany.

"Brittany, look at me," Santana asks and Brittany drops her eyes on her face again. "If I hurt you, you _have _to tell me."

"_Okay,_" Brittany whispers before kissing Santana once more for reassurance. Santana massages Brittany's clit a while longer, rubbing in circles before she reaches her middle and forefinger down to Brittany's entrance. Santana pauses for a moment and then slowly pushes the tips of her fingers inside of her. She's hot, slick and tight yet relaxed, and with a swift jolt of her wrist, Santana breaks through Brittany's barrier, causing her to yelp out. She waits for a moment while Brittany grows accustomed to the new feeling and the sharp pain soon slowly descends into pleasure. She groans into Santana mouth when she begins motioning her fingers in and out, breathing hot air onto her skin.

"_How do you feel?_" Santana bites her lip as she thrusts her fingers deeper inside of Brittany.

"_I feel... I feel_, _Uhhh_!" Brittany moans out when Santana curls her fingers, rubbing the tip of her g-spot. "_Faster, I want you to go faster,_" she pants. And Santana begins a quick rhythm as she feels Brittany pulsating around her. Every sense of Brittany's is heightened; especially the way every fibre in her heated body explodes under Santana's touch.

She begins kissing Brittany's neck again before flicking her tongue out on the peak of her nipple and takes it in between her teeth, all the while she fucks Brittany with her fingers.

"_Ah-hah! That tickles,_" Brittany giggles as Santana nibbles on the swell of her breast before working her way down her stomach. Brittany is in heaven, every nerve in her body fires, which causes the pressure between her legs to cry out for attention of which Santana takes full advantage. Every goose-bump, every single shiver causes Brittany to cry out in pleasure as Santana works quicker and quicker. And soon it's not just her fingers that are pleasuring Brittany, it's Santana's mouth too as she sucks on Brittany's swollen clit.

Santana's hot, saturated tongue feels like silk against her throbbing bundle of nerves and she knows that soon, something big is going to happen. Santana then begins pumping inside of her vigorously, while suckling, licking, biting, teasing Brittany with her mouth. Brittany's close and Santana knows it in the way she bucks her hips and holds her breath with her eyes squeezed shut.

"_Brittany_," Santana sighs against her skin, "_Brittany look at me, I want you to look at me._"

Brittany almost doesn't hear her trough her moans and the thunder groaning outside, but she swings her head up from the pillow limply and glances down to Santana between her thighs as she peers back up through her dark, thick lashes. Without any warning, Santana curls her fingers inside of Brittany repeatedly and bites down on her clit causing Brittany to explode into oblivion.

Santana watches her as she thrashes her head back on the pillow and screams out a cry that is drowned out by the storm. Brittany's nerves zap each other like lightning as she spasms from the orgasm. It's the most sensitive she's ever felt and Santana only has to breath on her for her to jerk uncontrollably. She's drunk, _wasted _and her heart is hammering a thousand beats a second but she loves every moment.

Santana smiles before wiping her mouth dry and falls next to her, cringing when she forgets about the pain in her ribs but brings the duvet to cover them. Brittany lies panting, staring up to the ceiling then begins laughing out hysterically.

"That was the best thing... I ever, _ever _felt in my entire life." She sighs out contently, before turning around to face Santana who is watching her with a wide grin. Brittany's about to kiss her again when she notices her thighs shivering uncontrollably.

"What the hell?" She squeaks and Santana snorts out in amusement before tangling her legs with Brittany's.

"It's called aftershock," Santana begins to explain. "Like when there's an earthquake, you'll sometimes get an aftershock, it's the same for an orgasm."

"_Oh,_" Brittany yawns and shuffles closer to Santana, feeling the warmth of her skin against her girlfriend's when she droops her arm across her waist. "_Best. Night. Ever," _she mutters tiredly and Santana nods in agreement before latching onto Brittany's lips once more with her own for a goodnight kiss.

"Jeez, what a way to start the year..." Santana jokes as she pulls damp strings of hair away from Brittany's face before nuzzling back into her pillow again.

"I love you, Santana," Brittany murmurs, unable to keep her eyes open any longer.

"Love you too, Britt. G'night," Santana sighs but Brittany's already away.

Spent and completely satisfied, they fall asleep together in each other's arms as the storm rages on.

* * *

><p><em>End of Chaper XIX<em>

**Somebody's going to be happy in the morning. ;)**

**It's a short one but it was originally going to be one chapter, so I hope the events in this chapter make up for that. **

**I love you all and please remember to review! :)**


	20. Chapter XX

[_AN] As always, thank you so much for your reviews, it really makes my passion for writing only more important. Also to Sinanna, who is a glorious Beta to work with. ;)_

_ Enjoy!_

**__**_CHAPTER XX _**__**

* * *

><p>It's the most tranquil morning Ohio has seen since the winter began. There is no wind to whistle past the branches of the blushing trees as they stand bare in the cold, not even a breeze. The rain has long subsided and only the blue canvas of the sky can be seen. The birds are soundless, still shaken from the rumblings of the previous night as they hide away in their burrows and even in the Pierce residence, the celebration of the new year leaves the house silent in sleepy fatigue. Yet, the only one to witness such stillness is Brittany who leans her chin in her hand as she faces Santana, still and sound asleep next to her. Santana lies on her stomach with her arms underneath her pillow, her back bare with just the white bed sheets covering her bottom half and Brittany watches with an inquisitive expression as she lightly trails her fingertips down the curve of Santana's back before tracing fingers back up again. Her feathery touch tickles Santana, causing her girlfriend to stir slowly awake as her eyes tardily flicker open to witness the new day, yet the first thing she finds is Brittany smiling down at her.<p>

"The rain's stopped," Brittany mumbles and Santana lazily grins into her pillow, glancing over to the window where the sunlight spills through the gaps of the blinds.

"_Lies," _Santana whispers out playfully. "_It's all lies._"

"Nope," Brittany leans down and gently kisses Santana on her exposed cheek. "That's one thing I will never be; dishonest."

Santana blinks heavily, still trying to shake the sleep away and twists her body fully to face Brittany, pulling the bed sheet up and over her chest.

"Not even a little white lie?" Santana asks and Brittany shakes her head.

"What would be the point?" Brittany replies, taking Santana's unbroken hand in hers. "Sometimes the truth can hurt but if you keep it in and cover it up for longer, then when it finally does come out, it will hurt so much more," she nods to herself, offering Santana a quick smile. Santana runs her thumb over Brittany's and looks up at her with a differing expression. She doesn't know if it's the building pressure that forms in her temples or the ounce of guilt she feels after Brittany's revelation, but Santana can't help but feel unsettled, despite the events of the previous night.

"Santana, why are you making that face?" Brittany asks while studying Santana's dubious expression. "Santana?"

"Brittany, there's something you need to know," Santana blurts out. She doesn't want to do this. She doesn't understand why now, why in that moment when everything is going so perfectly, she had to wake up and suddenly feel the need to do so. Maybe she truly is a masochist.

"_Okay?_" Brittany waits as Santana closes her eyes in thought and takes a deep breath. "You look kinda sad," Brittany bites her lip anxiously. "I-is this about last night? Did I do it wrong or something?" The disappointment is evident in her voice as her tone lowers as quickly as her mood. "I-I'm sorry," Brittany apologises sadly but Santana opens her eyes again in surprise.

"What? No! No!" Santana shakes her head before sitting up to lean against the headboard and holds Brittany's hand in her lap. "Last night was... _amazing!"_ Santana chuckles before reaching over to pat down the cowlicks that makes Brittany's bangs stick up from where she slept with her hair wet. "It's something else," Santana sighs deeply, gazing at their hands on her lap.

"Honey Badgers are extinct?" Brittany guesses with a pout.

"No," Santana shakes her head. "Not exactly."

"You've lost the key necklace, haven't you?" Brittany replies dolefully and Santana's hand automatically reaches to her chest. The necklace is gone.

"Oh," Santana puffs out. "Well, it wasn't that either but now that you've mentioned it..."

Santana can feel her heart rate begin to quicken, her pulse begin to sound in her head and her breaths become shaky as her body tingles with anxiety. Surely this feeling couldn't be because she slept with Brittany with a guilty conscience?

"You know I love you, right?" Santana asks. Disregarding Brittany's previous guess about her necklace, Santana would just have to worry about that later.

Brittany nods.

"And everything I've told you has been the God's honest truth?"

Brittany nods again before Santana swallows nervously.

"That's why you need to know this," Santana takes a deep breath and casts her gaze away from their hands as she glares back to the window . "When we first started hanging out..."

"Brittany, honey, you need to stop feeding Mr. Darcy your uneaten pasta tubes because you know what happened to Lord Tunbbingto-"

Neither Santana nor Brittany notice the door swinging open or the fact that Brittany's mother is even talking until she's standing there in the doorway with her eyes set on the girls' hands. The three of them are stumped for words as the reality of the situation comes into full check. Grace has just walked in on her daughter, who has been fighting with aphephobia her whole life yet here she is holding hands in bed with her best friend. Graze casts her eyes down to the pile of clothing on the carpet, still soggy from last night's antics and then back up to the two girls who are silent with shock. The duvet covers their bodies but it doesn't take long to realise that they are without clothes and lying in a compromising position.

"_Well, I'll be god-damned..." _Grace whispers before her eyes roll to the back of her head as she falls like a puppet who has had her strings cut, splaying out on the carpet in front of Santana and Brittany who watch with eyes as wide as their jaws.

"_DAD!_" Brittany calls out, jumping out the bed and rushing to her mother's rescue before scurrying back again to steal the comforter with which to cover her body. "_DAD! MOM'S FAINTED!_"

* * *

><p>Santana and Brittany sit along the oak coffee table in the middle of the living room as they stare at Grace with the same symmetrical expression. They wait anxiously, side by side in their matching white robes they got for Christmas as Grace slowly re-emerges into consciousness while lying on their almost too comfortable couch. James sits with her legs on his lap, switching his gaze regularly from the girls to his wife.<p>

"_Oh..." _Grace pants out as she begins to wake up, bringing her palm to her forehead and wipes her hair out of her face. Her eyes gradually flicker open and it takes her a moment to register where she is or what even happened. "Oh, I'm so sorry!" She apologises and begins to sit up. "It must have been all that wine from last night, went straight to my head." She covers her face for a moment, trying to recollect that last memory before she passed out and a few seconds later, she slowly lifts her chin to stare at her daughter.

"_Brittany," _she whispers, her brows knit together and she leans closer to the girls as she studies Brittany's face intently. "Your hands?"

Brittany gazes down to her palms and runs the pads of her thumbs down each finger, feeling the ticklish sensation before glancing back up to her mother.

"Last night..." Brittany begins, looking over to Santana who gnaws away at her nails nervously. "And the fireworks. Santana and I, we..." Brittany struggles to get the words out. She can't tell what expression her mother holds as tears build in her aged, grey eyes and Brittany doesn't know if she herself should feel scared or relieved. "Uh.." She licks her lips, takes a deep breath and stares at the ceiling instead of the floor.

"What's going on, Brittany?" James asks her, completely clueless as to why everyone is acting abnormally strange.

"I think I'm fixed..." Brittany replies cautiously "J-just like a miracle," she nods, licking her lips as she brings her gaze down to look back at her mother. "Just like when Dad was fixed after his explosion in Afghanistan... 1989 you said, remember, Mom?" Brittany's eyes are desperate with hope as she searches her mother's stunned exterior, hoping to find something in her face that assures Brittany that this isn't a fluke, that she really _is_ better. "Momma?"

"What is she talking about, Gracie?" James questions her, eager to know from the look on his wife's face.

"This..." Brittany announces, taking Santana's hand in hers without hesitation. "See? Miracles are real! I'm all better now!" She laughs out and her parents can do nothing but stare in astonishment.

What is a miracle? Is it science? Or is it fantasy? Judging by the gob-smacked looks that slap across the faces of Brittany's parents, Santana realises in that moment, to them, such possibility has to be a fantasy. Never have they dreamt that their daughter would one day wake up and be able to touch another person, not for the longest time. And for it to be someone who she has known for so little time... it could only be a fantasy because realistically, it didn't make sense.

"I can't believe it," James croaks, his eyes red with unfamiliar tears. Brittany squeezes Santana's hand with excitement, yet Santana doesn't know how to feel. The last twenty-four hours certainly have been overwhelming and at times, as now, Santana can only see, yet she hears nothing but a high-pitched ringing in her ears. She blames the storm for water-logging her brain and for making her feel like shit on this particular day, especially since it's supposed to be about Brittany. She catches Grace eyeing her up and down and although she knows that Grace loves her as if she were her own, the way her eyes shift from curious to subtly suspicious in the space of a few seconds doesn't sit well with Santana.

"Is it just Santana that you can touch?" Grace asks, peeling her eyes away from Santana to look at her daughter again who shrugs obliviously.

"I... I don't think so," Brittany purses her lips,before letting go of Santana's hand and rubs her palms along her knees. "Do you... do you want me to try... I can always try," Brittany laughs nervously although it's Santana who feels her throat begin to close up as the room begins to spin slightly.

Brittany takes a deep breath and holds out her hand in front of her mother, palm facing up.

"Be careful, babe," James tell Grace. "You don't want to startle her."

Grace shakes her head and looks doubtfully at her daughter's hand. She doesn't know what she would do or feel if Brittany were to reject her, her own mother. She clutches her fist as hard as her teeth and looks at her Brittany in her deep, sky blue eyes and for a moment she can see a younger version of herself. With that in mind, she hopes that she can make the connection that she's wished for since Brittany was first diagnosed. This is the moment finally to rejoin her hand with her daughters again after so many years.

Grace slowly extends out her arm as the rest of the family and Santana watch with parted lips. Santana watches Brittany's face, looking for any shift of uncertainty and she has no doubt that it's there. Grace bites her lips as her hand shakily hovers a few inches above Brittany's while Brittany watches cautiously as the room turns so silent that she can hear her heartbeat quicken with every second her mother waits.

"_Hold my hand, Mom,"_Brittany whispers, closing her eyes, imagining that it's New Years Eve again, only this time she's able to finally to reach out and take her mother's hand.

Grace takes a quick look at her husband who nods for her to take the final step while Santana watches nervously with her hands flat on each side of her cheeks, feeling more and more queasy. She wants this just as badly as the rest of them but with every ticking second from the moment she woke up this morning, her patience is zeroing to nothing since all she wants to do is sleep the nausea off, for whatever reason it is there in the first place.

Without any further reason to hesitate and with the fear of Brittany changing her mind, Grace lightly places her hand on top of her daughter's and wraps her thumb around her fingers. Her vision is blurred from the tears that swell in her eyes as the room waits in complete and utter silence, waiting for Brittany to respond. Grace can eventually feel Brittany begin to tug away as a line forms between her brows but Grace holds on firmly, for the longest that she has ever been able to.

"_Get off me," _Brittany whispers so quietly that it's nearly impossible for anyone else to hear. But when her mother doesn't let go, she really begins to feel her heart crash against her chest at a painful rate. "Get off me, get off me, get off me!" Brittany's eyes snap open again and she immediately finds the desperation in her mother's eyes, trying to hold on to every last moment, although the crippling spasms that take over Brittany's body deepen as she pulls her hand away from her mother's grasp, bringing it to her chest protectively.

The fearful look in Brittany's eyes as she pulls away from her mother swallows Grace up whole and spits her out like a rotten piece of candy. Never has she wanted to harm Brittany, but here she is, shaken, as if she had lifted her hand against her own daughter. No one exchanges a word for what feels to be the longest time, as Brittany attempts to straighten herself back up again.

"_Brittany,_" Grace squeaks out, "Brittany, sweetie, I'm so sorry!" She covers her mouth in guilt.

"I didn't take my anxiety pills..." Brittany blames it on that as she shakes her head continuously, cross armed with her eyes glued to the floor. "It's because I didn't take my anxiety pills this morning. I have to take them..."

"Brittany, it's okay," James tries to comfort her after she had been so hopeful.

"I'm getting better..." Brittany says weakly, lifting her chin back up to face her parents. "Santana's helped me a lot."

Santana can feel Brittany's parents' eyes on her and she can't help but feel at fault, this is _their_ daughter, and yet she can connect with Brittany in a way they still cannot.

"I need to have a moment with your father, Brittany. We need to have a couple of words," Grace wipes the tears that threaten to fall down her face, embarrassed with how emotional she is getting over this.

Brittany looks at her parents', then over to Santana who couldn't look any whiter than the bed sheet they had slept under this morning.

"I need some air anyway," Santana pants, carefully getting up and wincing when she stretches her side too much. she doesn't really acknowledge the family any further as she makes her way into the hallway and out to the porch, desperate for the cool breeze.

Brittany looks for her parentsi approval to move and is granted it when her father just nods for her to go, even though she can see that her mother is clearly upset. This isn't right. Today is New Years Day and it's meant to be happy, yet Brittany can't understand why her mother looks so disappointed and why Santana appears so distant. Nonetheless, she hesitantly raises herself to her feet and stands awkwardly, unsure if she should stay with her mother when she begins to break into tears.

"Go, Brittany, everything will be okay," James winks and offers his daughter a reassuring smile. So she does without a second though to spare and goes to join Santana on the porch.

* * *

><p>"You haven't said a word since we came out here," Brittany shivers as the cold breeze brushes past Brittany's skin.<p>

"I just need to... cool down," Santana watches the horizon over the houses opposite her where light feathery clouds sail at a sluggish pace. "I don't feel too good, Brittany," she says, squeezing her eyes shut, trying to shut away the dizziness that she has felt for the best part of the morning.

"This is because of last night, isn't it? You regret it..." Brittany asks quietly and Santana twists her face at such a ridiculous accusation.

"No! I already said that it wasn't!" Santana shoots Brittany's very thought down, finding herself a little breathless as her chest tightens.

"Then why have you been so moody all morning? I'm finally able to touch you and you don't seem to care..." Brittany can feel her throat grow tender as she struggles to make her point.

"Think what you want, but I'm not lying to you," Santana shakes her head, resting her head against one of the porch pillars as she closes her eyes tiredly.

"So what were you going to tell me this morning, before my mom walked in?"

"It doesn't matter," Santana sighs, massaging her tender ribs gently with her fingers.

"If this really is about last night, then I really don't know what you're getting so pissed about. I mean, it was just _sex_," Brittany shakes her head in annoyance and crosses her arms.

"_What did you just say?_"

Brittany can tell that Santana is offended in the way her voice reaches a higher pitch, almost like a soft cry of surprise. Brittany turns her head to face her girlfriend who scorns her with a cutting glare.

"Just _sex?" _Santana asks, laughing at the hilarity of the statement, she can't believe what she just heard.

"Well, that's what it was, wasn't it? Two people engaging in a sexual act like they're supposed to do when they're in an intimate relationship. It's only human nature..." Brittany shrugs lightly, not seeing what the big problem is.

"_Well listen to you, McSexual-Einstein!" _Santana spits out sarcastically, shimmying her hands at the side of her head mockingly.

"Santana, why are you so uptight? Obviously you regret it," Brittany retorts, watching as Santana struggles to her feet before having to take a a few breaths. "You're just not being very nice about it."

"No!" Santana pants, holding onto her sides. "You know what's not very nice? Is the fact that it feels like I've been kicked in the ribs countless times, the fact that my sinuses are so blocked that it feels as if someone pumped a ton full of _shit _in my brain and the fact that my _girlfriend_ said that our first night of being together was just _sex?" _Santana grinds her teeth and can only shake her head, unable even to look at Brittany. "I disagree with what you said about the truth being better when it's out," she continues, this time rather calmly and staring at no where in particular. "Sometimes it's better when it's not said because you're right, it _does _hurt... when it doesn't even have to hurt at all."

Brittany doesn't reply and just watches as Santana makes her way back up the porch steps.

"I'm going for a shower," Santana informs her coldly without looking back as she passes through the front door.

"Happy New Year, Santana! Guess what? We're already arguing..." Brittany shouts in anger but can't help but feel to blame. She kicks a pebble from the first step and watches as it rolls onto the sidewalk before it falls down the drain with a _plop._ How could a day that started off so magically turn out to be so tragic? Brittany inhales deeply and slowly exhales, watching as her breath hits the cold in small clouds yet is no longer able to feel the winter against her skin as she fumes with anger and confusion.

* * *

><p>Brittany doesn't count the minutes that pass, or the amount of cars that drive her way. She sits patiently on her porch, waiting for either her parents or Santana to come looking for her and she knows how stubborn Santana can get, so she isn't surprised when her father finds her first.<p>

"Brittany, what are you doing out here? It's damn freezin', get inside!" He fusses, waiting for her at the door.

"Is mom okay?" Brittany asks glumly, not really paying attention to the answer.

"She's fine. Actually, your mother and I would like to talk to you and Santana both, if that's all right?"

"Sure..." Brittany huffs, playing with the tie to her robe. James narrows his eyes at his not so joyous daughter.

"Your mom isn't mad at you, neither of us are so there's nothing to worry about," James smiles sympathetically as he makes his way to sit next to her on the porch steps. "We know you're getting better, we saw that today and we couldn't be happier!" He takes Brittany's shoulder in his grasp and gives it a little squeeze.

"It's not that," Brittany murmurs, staring down at her feet. "Santana and I had an argument."

"Oh!" James nods. "Well, you'd have to speak to your mother about girl problems but I know what you girls are like, one minute you're best friends, and the next you want to kill each other."

"I don't want to kill her," Brittany sighs. "But sometimes she doesn't understand what I'm trying to say and it gets frustrating."

"I get it," James nods. "It will be hard at times, you're special to us..." James smiles. "But I know Santana takes good care of you, and If I didn't, she wouldn't be staying with us."

Brittany turns to her father who offers a tight lipped smile underneath his fair stubble, his eyes are friendly yet still a little tired from last night but she knows that there is truth in his words.

"Thanks, Dad," Brittany smiles, leaning in under his arm as he wraps his hand around her shoulders.

"Now go to Santana, kiss and make up, then come down when you're both ready so we can have a talk, okay?"

"Kay," Brittany nods, giving her father a squeeze.

* * *

><p>When Brittany makes her way upstairs, she is surprised to find Santana nowhere in sight. It has been at least thirty minutes since Santana had left Brittany in a snit to shower so there was no way she could still be in there? Yet, apparently she is when Brittany discovers the bathroom to be locked and can hear the water from the shower spraying against the tiles.<p>

"Santana? Are you still in there?" Brittany calls out to her, knocking lightly on the wooden door but is left without an answer. "If you're still mad at me... Say: '_I'm still mad at you, Brittany,' _just so I know."

Silence.

"Okay... that's good I guess," Brittany nods to herself, trailing her finger across the cold brass handle.

"So anyway... Uhh, my Dad wants us to go down and speak to him and my Mom, so don't be much longer, if that's okay... I mean, I don't want to rush you but..."

Brittany stops when she gets the notion that she _is_ just speaking to a wooden door.

"Santana, are you even listening to me?" Brittany calls a little louder, crouching down to look through the artificial keyhole in the door. Her eyes first set on the bathtub which is without a doubt empty, then she glances over to the shower cubical and has to squint to get a clearer image to see the water running, yet no one underneath.

"Santana?" Brittany calls out again, this time banging her fist against the door more violently. "Santana if you can hear me, open the door."

Still there is no reply.

"Santana... this isn't funny. If.. if you're pulling some trick to get back at me... that's really mean," Brittany announces with her mouth right up to the key hole, making sure that she is heard, although she is left even more puzzled when Santana's voice remains silent. Making sure she isn't imagining things, Brittany finds her feet and begins to wander around the top landing, making sure to check every square foot from her bedroom, her parents room and the spare room including the en-suite to confirm that Santana isn't playing a prank with hide and seek.

"_This isn't fair," _she whispers to herself, pouting but returns back to the bathroom door nonetheless. "I'm _really_ sorry that I hurt your feelings, sometimes it's hard for me know why I do, but you know that whatever I said, I didn't mean for it to offend you," she tries again but doesn't hold her breath for a reply.

Impatient and highly vexed, Brittany doesn't stay around to wait any longer and begins to pick away at the lock on the door, it's something she mastered when growing up as one of her many unusual hobbies, and not even twenty seconds later, the door slowly swings open.

At first she thinks her eyes are deceiving her when she can't find Santana anywhere in sight, even the window is too small to escape out of but then again, why would she try and escape unless she had completely lost it? It's not until her eyes fall onto a still, unconscious Santana who lies next to the sink, face down on the tiles with only a towel wrapped around her body.

"Santana!" Brittany screeches out, immediately running over to her limp body. Did she slip? Did she pass out? "Please don't be dead!" Brittany whimpers at Santana's side, shaking her shoulders rigorously. Ever since she had a nightmare about it when she was a kid, Brittany has had an irrational fear of people who she loved, dropping dead right in front of her. And for being Santana, this was the second time in the space of a week. "Mom!" Brittany calls out while checking Santana's pulse, luckily it's still beating. "Dad!"

Just then Santana slowly emerges back into consciousness as Brittany's calls echo in the back of her mind. She can't understand why she feels so peaceful, but as her eyes softly flicker open, she finds that she's face to face with the last person she had been thinking about before she blacked out.

"_Found it,_" Santana smiles weakly, lifting her left arm to present Brittany with her keychain necklace that is tangled around her fingers. "_Just where I left it..._" she sighs before closing her eyes again, leaving Brittany utterly bemused at her side.

* * *

><p>"Looks as if Miss Lopez has been rather overwhelmed as of late," The same doctor who tended to Santana's wounds last week after she had fallen out the tree confirms with the family as Santana rests in Brittany's bed. "Being as dehydrated as Santana is, along with a low blood sugar level and lack of sleep would definitely cause light-headedness, so it's no surprise that she passed out."<p>

Brittany listens and nods, kneeling at the end of her bed with Santana's feet in her lap while Grace and James stand in the door way as the doctor packs up his briefcase.

"I can't stress enough how much rest she'll need over the next few weeks, I've taken her temperature and it's a little high so make sure she drinks plenty of fluids. I listened to her chest and there's a few crackles here and there so if she begins coughing continuously or finds it harder to breath over the next few days, please don't hesitate to get in contact and we can see about getting her on some antibiotics."

Grace and James listen to every word, mentally noting down the demands as they watch over Santana, filled with worry.

"And no more piggy-back rides, or play dates in the rain, okay?" The doctor raises an eyebrow to Brittany who begins blushing excessively while she replies with a fast nod. "Good." The doctor snaps his briefcase shut and offers James a hand that he generously takes to shake. "Well then, Happy New Year to the lot of you," he smiles and makes his way out of the room where Grace sees him out.

James folds his arms and watches Santana as she tiredly blinks up to the ceiling, tracing unrecognisable shapes with her eyes.

"I don't want either of you pulling a stunt like that again, do you hear me?" James disapproves of their midnight rendezvous at the lake which Brittany admitted to when the doctor asked what they had gotten up to within the last day. "Did you even think about how ill that could make you?"

Brittany peers over to Santana who now has her eyes shut as a small frown forms a crease on her forehead while she can do nothing but endure the pain in the left side of her ribs and in her head.

"Do you still want to speak with us?" Brittany asks innocently, her eyes bright with marvel under the dimmed lights of Brittany's room but James just shakes his head.

"Let Santana rest first, then we can get to the bottom of things," the tone in which her father speaks unsettles Brittany and it makes her curious as to how much her parents really know about her relationship with Santana, or if they even approve of it at all.

"_Okay," _Brittany whispers and watches as her father turns out the light, leaving only the bedside lamp to guide the girls' sight.

"We'll be downstairs if you need us," he reassures her with a soft smile, before twisting to close the door behind him.

Brittany glares at the back of her door for a prolonged moment, trying to figure out what had happened that had made today unpredictably awful. It's New Years and with Brittany's big leap with her phobia, it was meant to be a day of celebration.

"You know, if you pull that face for long enough, it'll get stuck like that," Santana wheezes out and Brittany turns her attention onto her girlfriend's slightly smirking face, despite her being in a bout of pain. "What a shame that would be," Santana jokes.

Brittany swallows roughly and rubs the tops of Santana's feet before crawling up the bed to her side.

"I'm sorry," Brittany pouts out shamefully. "I never meant to offend you so much so that it caused you to pass out," she apologises, snuggling into Santana's side and Santana just shakes her head in amusement.

_Lies," _Santana whispers out playfully, just in the same way she did that very morning. "_It's all lies._" And she can't help but snort out at the look of horror that creeps onto Brittany's face. "It's not _your_ fault I fainted," Santana softly giggles. "I was just a bit worn out, that's all. Besides, I took what you said out of context, I know what you meant really."

Brittany glances up at her face and even though she can't imagine what kind of pain Santana is in, she surely wears a serene face to cover any trace of it up.

"Do you still love me?" Brittany asks sweetly and Santana opens an eye to peek down at her before grinning widely.

"_Of course_ I still love you, silly!" Santana chuckles, slowly extending her arm around Brittany's shoulder, pulling her closer into her chest. "One argument isn't going to change that."

The pair of them lay there for a few good minutes, enjoying each other's company. They didn't like arguing, not one bit and even though it was the first in their relationship, they missed each other so much so afterwards that they held onto each other now as if it were their last moments together.

Brittany's eyes begin to feel heavy as Santana runs her fingers through her soft, wispy hair before she is greeted with a yawn.

"I'm sorry your day didn't turn out as planned," Santana apologises, rubbing the top of Brittany's head before turning to kiss her on the temple.

"It may have not been planned but the best part was definitely worth it," Brittany smiles into Santana's shoulder, feeling the heat prick away at her cheeks.

"Hmm... a_bout that_," Santana replies in a cynical tone but looks down at Brittany with a rather fascinated expression. "You were really good... Like, _really _good," she grins.

"Good at what?" Brittany replies forgetfully.

"You know..." Santana gently nudges Brittany's side. "Last night, when we were together."

"At which point?"

"When we _slept_ together!" Santana giggles out, unable to stop herself from scrunching up her face, fully embracing herself into Brittany's naïve state of mind as she stares blankly into space with confusion.

"You mean when I was sleeping? Did I go a night without talking?" Brittany asks and soon Santana's writhing in a fit of giggles, despite the searing pain that courses through her ribs. "Oh!" Brittany calls out with bright eyes like a light-bulb has just been switched on inside her head. "You mean when we had _sex!_"

"Yes, Brittany..." Santana sighs, still trying to roll out her laughter. "You were great actually, and I was kinda surprised."

"Why?" Brittany frowns, looking up to find Santana biting her lip with such memories of last night.

"You know, being _you._.." Santana begins to explain. "Someone who had never been intimate in her life and then you turn out being a pro at it. I mean especially the way you-" Santana cut herself off and closes her eyes, not knowing if her body could even handle feeling turned on again for at least a full day.

"Well, _of course_ I'm good at it!" Brittany exclaims. "I had lots and lots of practice!"

"You did?" Santana raises a brow, unsure if she has heard Brittany correctly.

"Yup," Brittany replies rather smugly. "Every time you went for your long, unnecessary showers I used to get bored and end up going online."

Santana stares in surprise and she doesn't have to guess what Brittany is going to say next.

"Please tell me you didn't-"

"It's amazing how easily you can access pornography sites these days... besides, I was curious," Brittany shrugs as if it were no big deal. "Also, I wanted to prepare myself for when the time finally came so that I was up to your standard," she nods and Santana can only blink widely in surprise.

"How can you be so cheesy and so cute but so... _porn?" _Santana has to question Brittany again, just to make sure that she's not hearing things.

"Sapphic, of course," Brittany replies, taking Santana's hand who narrows her eyes.

"So all the times I came into the room with just a towel on, you didn't look horny because of me but because you had been watching two or possibly more girls online fucking each other?"

"Precisely," Brittany bites her lips and Santana has to take a moment to let her words sink in.

"Well, not only am I offended, but I am completely aroused right now and and it's all your fault..." Santana jokes. "_Lesbian porn_?" She just has to ask, one last time.

"Gee, just because I've never had the opportunity to explore my sexual needs previously, or the fact that I get confused when people tell me it's raining cats and dogs, doesn't mean I'm a prude," Brittany defends herself but remains light-hearted about it.

"No, it makes you adorable," Santana smiles, pulling Brittany closer as she rests her chin on top of Brittany's head. "But you know you didn't have to do that, I would have loved it all the same, even if you had no idea what you were doing. You don't have to prove yourself or anything," she informs Brittany in a more serious manner. "Anyway, those video's are so _false. _It's better when it's raw, when you live in the moment without thinking it over too much..."

Brittany nuzzles her head deeper into Santana's neck.

"_Really?_" Brittany whispers.

"Really," Santana replies, slowly tracing her fingers down Brittany's arm, leaving goosebumps in the trail behind. "It's more intimate that way."

Brittany lifts her head to peer into Santana's eyes. Her face is patient, affectionate and attentive as if she's studying every detail in Brittany's face and it makes her insides flutter. She then casts her gaze onto Santana's lips that are slightly parted and only inches away from her.

"_I think you could be right_," Brittany whispers, before closing her lips around Santana's for a tender kiss. The kiss is slow, searching, and finally able to appreciate fully the shape of Santana's mouth, Brittany runs her tongue gently along every contour of Santana's bottom lip as she takes in between her teeth.

For the rest of the night, the girls are content with just discovering each other little by little, exchanging small wet pecks, longer, more demanding kisses that create smacking sounds to feeling the heat of the other's tongue as it massages her own. They are able to feel every breath against each other's skin, fall deeper with every whispering moan and whimper as their hands caress the other's cheeks, brush through their hair and entwine with the other's. Unlike the previous night, they are no longer overwhelmed by the reality of the moment and instead, they are able to live in it where Brittany is finally able to realise the difference between true intimacy with the one she loves, even if it's just with a good night kiss.

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter XX<em>

**So there you have it! **

**Wow, there's been so much fluff in my latest chapters, I wonder how long it can last... Please review!**_**  
><strong>  
><em>


	21. Chapter XXI

[_AN] I know it took me forever to update this chapter and I apologise. Sometimes crap gets in the way but thank you so much for being patient and for your wonderful comments. It really makes my day, so thank you. :) Also my beta is just great to work with, she's a great teacher. :) Thank you! _

**_CHAPTER XXI_**

* * *

><p>The cold tap drips in a slow rhythm where Brittany stands with her palm on the handle. <em>Gloop, gloop, gloop. <em>She isn't concentrating on anything in particular, her glassy blue eyes are unfocused as she stands statue-like at the kitchen sink. The morning sun finally manages to break from the clouds and greets Brittany through the small, semi-circled window as the heat warms her emotionless face. Yet, her expression doesn't change and so the sun falls back behind the clouds again shortly after, as if it were hiding from disappointment.

"_There_ you are!" Santana sighs flailing her arms in the air in a fuss as she enters the kitchen. "Where have you been for the last thirty minutes?" she asks, walking up to Brittany with a relieved grin before holding her waist from behind, propping her chin on Brittany's shoulder. "I thought you had left for school without me!" She says, squeezing her girlfriend a little.

Brittany blinks a couple of times, trying to remember where she actually is as she casts her eyes down at Santana's hands on her stomach and then at the two pills resting in her own hand.

"_Oh..." _Brittany breathes out. "I forgot... I forgot to take my pills," she replies, quickly bringing the capsules to her mouth as she begins turning the tap handle before bending down to drink directly from the faucet.

Santana walks around her until she's facing Brittany directly at her side and looks at her with a hint of concern. Brittany haf been like this for a couple of days now. Distracted and not one hundred percent present.

"_Babe..._"Santana whispers, noticing the hard line between Brittany's brows as she rises back up from the sink, wiping her mouth. "You worried about something?" Santana asks, taking her hand as she gently traces her thumb across Brittany's forehead, smoothing out her frown. "You worried about school today?

Brittany bites her bottom lips as she glares down at the ground but is grateful for Santana's gentle caress as it takes the strain away from her head a little.

"_No_," Brittany replies softly, lifting her gaze to watch Santana. The confusion in her girlfriend's endless black eyes is evident as Santana tries to search for hidden clues in Brittany's face. It's the last thing that Brittany wants so she takes Santana's hand from her face and into her own before squeezing it reassuringly. She likes the way Santana looks today, she always likes the way Santana looks but today she is wearing one side of her bangs pinned back and in curls. She thinks how far Santana has come. When they first met she had been a hard-faced, hard to please teenaged brat with an attitude. But since moving in with Brittany, she had begun to flourish, until now, she is becoming a young, mature, beautiful woman, more so every day.

"_What?_" Santana asks, grinning bashfully at the way Brittany tilts her head with a little smile.

"You look lovely," Brittany softly beams as her face eventually lightens up again before she leans down for a tender, lingering kiss. When she pulls back, Santana slowly licks her lips and opens her eyes heavily, cocking her eyebrow.

"Mmm" Santana hums, nibbling on the bottom of her own lip as she plays with a strand of Brittany's hair. Santana wishes she wasn't in such bad shape so she could just take Brittany there and then. And with Brittany's parents gone for some early morning grocery shopping, the kitchen seems a daring yet thrilling place. But since she has fractured ribs to look after and the fact that the two of them have to be in class in half an hour makes it quite impossible. "Let's just pray your folks don't move me to the spare bedroom when they find out about us, Santana smirks before spinning around. "Let's go!" She clicks her fingers, skipping away to the porch.

"Santana!" Brittany calls out, her heart begins to race but she can't understand why. Santana turns around again, struggling to wiggle her feet in to her faux-leather boots.

"Yeah?" Santana asks, frowning at Brittany's panicked expression. "What's up?"

Brittany rubs her eyes and shakes her head in an attempt to shoo away the fogginess that has gradually built up in her mind over the last few days.

"Uhh... _nothing_," Brittany replies, lifting her school bag from the back of the dining chair. "Just making sure you're still here, that's all," she clicks her own fingers nervously as she walks up to Santana's side. "Just making sure you're still here." She repeats.

"Of course I am, silly!" Santana giggles. "I'm not going anywhere!"

"_Oh yeah_," Brittany nods, staring down at her hands which are covered with the usual green fabric from her mittens."I don't want to wear these today," she states with a frown as she eagerly pulls them back off again.

"Britt, it's really cold out," Santana sighs picking up the gloves that Brittany has just dropped on the floor.

"Can we just hold hands? I really want to hold hands with you. I-I'd really like that," Brittany asks and as Santana rises from the ground again, she finds Brittany casting a worrisome look.

"_What's happened, Brittany?" _Santana whispers, noticing the hard line as it returns to Brittany's forehead.

Brittany looks at her and swallows with difficulty. The truth is that she has an irrational fear that she's going to lose Santana and doesn't want to let go of her. Why? She could blame the it on the events of last week, when Brittany found Santana passed out in her bathroom after their argument. It had scared her greatly but somehow not to the point where she was still affected by it a week later. She wants to believe it _is _that_, _although something _else _haunts the back of her mind... Something she came to realise just a few days ago.

* * *

><p>"<em>I can see that you're smiling, Brittany. Did you enjoy the holidays?" The doctor ruffles his hand through his thick white beard just as the session begins. That's all Brittany can do, smile as she bounces excitedly on the leather sofa, fidgeting with the zipper to her jacket pocket.<em>

"_I loved the holidays!" he beams, her eyes following the specks of dust as they dance around freely under the sun that casts its magnificent rays past the window._

"_I can tell!" The doctor laughs out heartily as Brittany tries to catch the dust in her bare hands. "And I see you're not wearing your usual attire," he notices – no thick scarf or long jackets. No mittens or woolly hats. Just Brittany in a fleece jacket with a frilly hood and sweat pants._

"_It gets stuffy a lot of the time," Brittany replies, wiping her red nose that has been bitten by the cold._

"_I see," the doctor nods. "So, tell me what happened during your winter break?"_

_Brittany can't contain her excitement any longer as she looks at the doctor mischievously before breaking out into a fit of giggles. She vibrates uncontrollably as she cries out, covering her mouth and scrunches up her face in the best possible way. It takes everything for the doctor not to laugh out as well. Her laugh is contagious._

"_It was magical..." She chokes out, trying to catch her breath as her face turns vibrantly red. "Sometimes when I think about it," she begins, taking another breath. "I can't... I'm just so happy right now."_

_The doctor smiles genuinely, glad to see Brittany finally looking confident in her own skin._

"_Well you certainly _do _look a lot happier, may I ask why?"_

"_Well..." Brittany begins with a grin, she takes another quick glance over at the window where she finds another pigeon sitting on the ledge. She wonders if it's the same one she had seen all those weeks ago, the weak, scraggly one that couldn't fly. Yet eventually, this one stretches its wings and launches itself off the ledge and watches as the bird flies higher and higher, off into the distance until it's only a dot._

"_Well, it started with New Years Eve," Brittany continues, turning back to the doctor. "I think there was something special in the air... I could feel it, y'know? Even though it was cold, I was also warm because I was excited so I decided to go out for a run..." Brittany trails off into an in depth description of that specific day as the doctor listens to every single detail. From remembering the exact amount of change she had brought to the candy store, to the song the drunk men had been singing as she had run past the old bar next to the market place. As he listens, he watches the way Brittany's eyes light up with each mention of Santana's name. She's more energetic than ever, using her hands to gesture, to help get her point across when she struggles with some words, yet she barely even stutters._

"_And then..." Brittany pants out breathlessly. "It happened!" She beams, rubbing her palms on her thighs. "I could touch Santana!" she squeals elatedly. "I can touch her, I can actually touch her!" She clenches her jaw, trying to contain the exhilaration building up inside of her as if she were only just realising it again._

_The doctor straightens up in his chair when he rehears Brittany's statement for the second time._

"_Already?" He asks her, just to make sure._

"_Yes!" Brittany nods eagerly. "And-and I'm happier, a lot happier now because of it..." She smiles. "B-because that means I'm getting better, doesn't it?" She asks, her eyes still glossed over from the ecstasy she can feel in that moment, the adrenaline from the memories still coursing through her body._

"_Well, let's have a look into this," the doctor evaluates as he opens his previous notes from the last session. "You say you're able to touch Santana? How close can you get before you start panicking again?" He asks, straightening his glasses. "Can you hold her hand for only a certain amount of time? Are you able to hug her without fabric over your skin? Can you even kiss her?"_

"_Oh!" Brittany shakes her head. "Th-that's all fine..." She nods again. "I can do all that, I can be physical with her in every way."_

_The doctor stops writing to glance up at Brittany in confusion._

"_Are you able to have sexual relations with your girlfriend?" He asks, rubbing his chin in thought._

"_Yep..." Brittany admits, blushing a little. "I can be with her a hundred and ten percent without any panics or anything," she smiles proudly._

"_Hmm..." He sighs, before reading over his notes again, flipping through random pages back and forth. "And who else are you able to touch physically, apart from Santana?"_

"_Uh.. actually no one else," Brittany sighs a little less enthusiastically this time. "Actually, I tried to with my mom but it didn't work." She purses her lips and stuffs her hands into her jacket pocket. "B-but it's okay," she quickly smiles. "Because I'm getting better and hopefully soon I'll be able to."_

_The doctor forms a tight line with his lips and peers over at Brittany through his glasses before shaking his head in doubt._

"_I think we will have to revise a few things," he states with a deep frown. "I've never heard of a patient with such a severe case of aphephobia, being able to overcome the fear for an individual so quickly in one night," he continues. "And especially being someone such as yourself who also has to deal with having Asperger's." he concludes as Brittany's smile gradually falters. "I don't want you to get your hopes up too soon now."_

_Brittany listens as thick clouds slowly sail in the way of the sun, blocking out the light as the room slowly dulls. She turns to face back towards the doctor who has two fingers resting against his temple as again he carefully, looks over his notes._

"_I don't understand?" She says with a frown. "Why shouldn't I get my hopes up?"_

_The doctor begins to rub his forehead and takes a deep breath._

"_I really hope I'm wrong about this, Brittany..."_

* * *

><p>"I can't believe it's the first day of school and I already want to gouge my eyes out," Santana grimaces as she glares at the '<em>Quinn 4 Prom Kween<em>' poster, glued with gum on her locker.

"I think she looks kinda pretty," Brittany shrugs, shoving her winter jacket, scarf and gloves deep into her own locker.

"_Yeah,_ only because her dad is like, super rich and allowed her to get plastic surgery when she was sixteen," Santana rolls her eyes, ripping the poster away as she slams the locker door shut. "She used to weigh two Santa's and an extra large Big Mac meal five years ago, y'know?" Santana shivers in disgust, causing Brittany to chirp out a small giggle.

"See, there you go!" Santana grins victoriously. "A laugh..." she smirks as she turns to face Brittany and has to do a double take when she catches sight of her.

"_Damn, _Santana whispers, taking a generous eyeful of her girlfriend. It is the first time she has seen Brittany wearing so little outside of the house and it feels like a new experience all together. Brittany wears only a white skin-tight polo t-shirt with black stripes and black waist high denim shorts. Her thighs are bare and the rest of her legs are covered by white knee high socks yet it's as if the length of her legs go on forever. Brittany stuffs her hands into her pockets awkwardly and tilts her head in confusion, watching as Santana watches her.

"What? _Do I have something on my face?" _Brittany leans in and asks quietly before Santana shakes her head.

"Oh, no!" Santana laughs out, taking in one final glance of Brittany from head to toe. "No, but I just realised that I have _the _hottest girlfriend on the planet," she replies with a crooked grin before licking her lips. "Now give me another smile before _I _start getting sad," Santana pouts playfully. Just then, an audible wolf-whistle sounds in the girls' direction as they turn to find a bunch of soggy football players passing their way.

"Hey hey, blondie! Damn you is _fine! Oooow!" _A dark, huge player calls out, staring at Brittany as if she were a meal. "I think I found my prom date!" he jokes, giving the other players hi-fives. Brittany turns back to Santana and bright red with embarrassment.

"Uh, _hell no!_" Santana calls out disapprovingly. "I think Britts would rather tongue kiss coach Beiste's _armpit _than dance with you at prom, _Shane_." She folds her arms and watches as the boys begin to roar out with laughter.

"I could change that," Shane bites his lips. "Isn't that right, white chocolate?" He asks before slapping Brittany's ass. Brittany jolts forward and doesn't even have time to turn around when Santana is already in between them pushing Shane back.

"Touch her again and I'll kick your sorry ass all the way from here to the African plains where you belong with your herd of rhinos, you understand?" Santana threatens with a sharp tongue, meaning every single last word. Shane stares her down, looking at her as if she's a piece of garbage at the bottom of the trash can, yet it wasn't so long ago that he was all over _her _ass.

"Boys, let's go," he calls out. "Chicks 'round here are too frigid fo' playas'," he says, stepping away from Santana who still holds her ground with a glare. The group of them eventually pass on by and Santana makes sure they're out of sight before turning back around to Brittany at the lockers.

"What a piece of _shi-"_

Before Santana can even finish her sentence, she's met with Brittany's lips crashing against hers once again. And when Brittany trails her hand up the back of Santana's neck and though her hair, Santana forgets where she is completely and drops her bag from her arm onto the floor. Santana curls her arms around Brittany's neck before gently sliding her hands down each side of her face as they exchange short and long kisses, each one as irresistible as the last and soon Brittany's back hits the lockers when they finish with a firm and hot open mouthed kiss as their breathing teases the other's skin. When Santana pulls away it takes her a moment to focus as she is left feeling giddy. If Brittany's new way of saying thank you is a surprise kiss then she definitely won't argue against that.

"_Wow,_" Santana sighs breathlessly, trying to regain complete sobriety but finding it little hard as she sways from side to side. "You're just going all out today, aren't you?" Santana grins.

"I just don't want any moment to go to waste," Brittany replies, taking Santana's hand in hers, entwining their fingers without any fabric getting in between. Santana stops for a moment to think what she means by that, but disregards it whatever it is, because she is finally able to be with her girlfriend without any obstruction

"We're gonna to get a lot of stares y'know? Two girls dating and everything," Santana tells Brittany as they begin walking down the hallway to class, acknowledging every judging glance from other students as well as hearing the disapproving whispers being exchanged, gabbing on about what they had just witnessed at the lockers. The _scandal_.

"When have they ever _stopped _staring?" Brittany asks as she looks ahead, the days of following the cracks in the floor long behind her. "Besides, I don't care what they think, I'm proud to show off you as my girlfriend," she smiles down at Santana before draping her arm over her shoulder. Santana blushes behind her curtain of hair but grins from ear to her, holding onto Brittany's waist as the body of students step aside to allow them past.

* * *

><p>"<em>Let me ask you another question, if I may," the doctor scratches his temples as he circles something in his notes. "I understand that you love Santana very much, that you've longed to be with her in any physical way for around half a year. Is that correct?" he asks, peering up to Brittany who now sits at the edge of the sofa.<em>

"_Yes..." Brittany answers a little cautiously, unsure as to why his tone is a lot more serious now than before._

"_What about your parents, or anyone else for that matter? Have you tried as hard or wanted as much to interact with them physically than you have with Santana?"_

_Brittany can feel her stomach begin to drop and for a moment she feels a little guilty._

"_I... I would," she struggles to speak. "I'd give anything to be able to hold onto my parents again," she sniffs. "Anything, and no one can dispute that, not even you, sir."_

"_I don't dispute that for one moment, Brittany. But have you tried?" He asks again._

_Brittany just stares down to the old worn out rug where the edges have began to fray and she doesn't even want to talk, so she slowly and heavily shakes her head instead._

"_I see," the doctor exhales deeply. "You said the first night that you were able to touch Santana physically, that it was like a dream. That you would never guessed that it would have happened the way it did, especially with everything that _did t_ake place in one night, correct?"_

"_Yes..."_

"_That it was almost too good to be true?"_

"_Yes?" Brittany doesn't like the solicitous tone in which the doctor speaks, in fact, she doesn't like where the conversation is going altogether._

"_B-but I am getting better..." Brittany begins quietly arguing to herself. "You see, Santana is proof of that... she's proof of that." Her soft voice cracks as her stomach begins to flip. Just then, light specks of rain begin to patter against the window frame but Brittany only listens, her head hung with doubt. "My stomach hurts," she mumbles._

"_I can see that you're a bit on edge at the moment, so I'm going to give you a little time before we continue on with the session. I think it will be a good idea," the doctor advised, closing his notepad before standing to his feet. "Don't you?"_

* * *

><p>"Brittany?" Mr Brown the biology teacher asks for the third time and Santana has to nudge Brittany to push her out of her daze.<p>

"_Huh?_" She shakes her head, focusing back to the front of the class where the teacher stands with his arms crossed as the rest of the class's giggles echo in Brittany's mind.

"The answer to the question _please!" _He raises his voice, with little patience to spare. "May I remind you: when does the replication of the DNA in meiosis occur? I just went over the answer so you should know it."

Brittany is stumped. She should know this but as the clock ticks by and silence ensues, the more pairs of eyes turn to look at her.

"Uhm..." She mutters before turning to look at Santana who just shrugs and shakes her head apologetically. She turns back to face the front of the class where Mr Brown is cleaning off his glasses.

"Maybe if you spent less time preoccupied with Santana's hand there, then you may actually pay attention more often," he calls out disapprovingly before the class begins to whisper quietly amongst themselves. Brittany looks down to her hands that hold onto Santana's tightly, her thumb automatically brushing up and down Santana's palm.

"_You sure you're okay, Britt_?" Santana whispers, deeply concerned and Brittany looks back up in front where she spots Kurt at the desk ahead, offering her a friendly smile.

"Face the front, Kurt," Mr Brown drones out, clearly not at all enthused about being back at work amongst erratic teenagers.

"_Britt?_" Santana asks again, squeezing her hand.

"I need to go for some air," Brittany confesses aloud as the class all turns around again. "_Sorry," _she gulps, pushing her stool far back before running down the middle and out of the door. Santana watches with a hung jaw before turning to face Mr Brown again.

"Can I go too?" Santana asks raising her broken wrist as she waves her cast around. "I'm injured!"

"No, you can stay!" The teacher yells, causing the students to jump back in their seats. "Now can _anyone _tell me the damn answer?"

Brittany feels nauseous and as soon as she makes it to the girls bathroom, she begins to dry heave down the toilet cubical. She doesn't expect to be sick since she hasn't eaten all day but the way her stomach has been flipping is enough for her to gag.

"Now, I must say that I never took you as a puker, Pierce." The familiar Tom-catty tone of rather than to Sue Sylvester's voice calls out from above, which almost causes Brittany to jump out of her skin. She glances up and finds Sue leaning over the cubical wall with a crafty smirk.

"Wha?... what are you doing here?"Brittany pants out, backing away.

"Oh, I just come in here from time to time to check up on which one of my Cheerios may be secretly consuming the sly '_S_'.

"S?" Brittany frowns, walking backwards until her back hits the edge of the sinks.

"Steroids, Belinda,"Sue clarifies as she steps off the toilet seat in her cubical before making her own way over to the sinks.

"It's Brittany," she corrects her as she watches Coach Sylvester warily.

"Whatever. Steroids are good for performance but they make you gain weight and whenever one of my Cheerios surpasses the hundred and twenty pound mark, then they get a big ole' red 'x' against their name," Sue crosses her arms. "You see, I can't have fatties on my team because you know what happens when fatties are on top of the pyramid?"

Brittany shakes her head so Sue drops down to her eye level and looks her straight in the eye without a flinch.

"People fall, and people _die," _she whispers in all seriousness and holds Brittany's wide-eyed gaze for a moment a little too long.

"_Th-that's awful,_" Brittany breathes out shakily, uncomfortable with the coach's close proximity.

"That's why I need you on my Cheerios, kiddo." Sue finally stands back to her normal height, towering over Brittany again. "Now I know you have a lot off issues, and your first response is always to say no but-"

"I'm in! Brittany blurts out before she can think about it or even take it back.

"Pardon?" Sue raises an eyebrow, hoping that she isn't hearing things as she readjusts her hearing aid.

"I'm in..." Brittany repeats fearfully. "I'll join your Cheerios."

Sue raises both eyebrows this time before a triumphant grin plasters itself across her face.

"I knew you would eventually come around, Bradly,"

"Brittany, I'm a girl."

"Very well, I'll give you a briefing sometime in the week, with a starting date of next Monday!" Sue announces, taking a swig of her strawberry protein shake before she swings around and charges out of the door.

Brittany stands there breathlessly for a moment, trying to recollect what the hell has just happened. _She has agreed to join the Cheerios. _She spins around and looks at her face in the mirror, dark circles have formed underneath her eyes due to the lack of sleep over the last few days. Her lips are as pale as her cheeks and she just feels _completely _out of her comfort zone. Maybe she's pushing herself too hard?

"No, Brittany," she tells herself, glaring at her reflection. "You need to be stronger than this..."

She searches in the mirror for the strength she needs to feel inside herself but all she can see is a scared little girl in her reflection.

* * *

><p>"<em>The brain is a <em>very _powerful mechanism Brittany," The doctor begins again as he takes back to his seat. Brittany isn't looking at him but at the window as the heavy rain now crashes against the glass, making the buildings outside look blurred. "It surpasses what we have discovered, and tantalize us with all that is yet to be discovered._

"_I know," Brittany whispers, not really caring for it._

"_A lot of the time, the brain works in ways that we can't understand completely but in ways that we do try to make sense of." He watches as Brittany slowly nods, following her eyes as they follow the water droplets that cascade down the window pane. "Have you ever heard of a hysterical pregnancy, Brittany?"_

_Brittany turns her head to face the doctor and frowns before shaking her head._

"_It's when a female wants to have a child so badly that her brain begins to send false signals to the endocrine system, which is in control of sending out hormones into the body," the doctor explains as Brittany listens carefully, her brows knit together. "The endocrine system picks up these false signals and begins secreting hormones that are produced when a woman is in fact, pregnant. Thus, the woman begins showing physical symptoms of that to a woman with child. Her menstrual cycle stops, breasts enlarge, there's morning sickness and in prolonged cases, a woman can even bloat and go into labour."_

"_I... I'm not pregnant!" Brittany interrupts immediately, panic stricken._

"_No, no, no!" The doctor waves his hands dismissively. "All I'm saying is that the brain can do spectacular things, especially when one longs for something so much that the mind starts to play tricks on you; changing your whole perspective on things, your behaviour and sometimes your appearance._

_Brittany doesn't understand. She's unsure if she even wants to understand._

"_Are you saying that my being able to touch Santana is only happening in my mind?" Brittany asks cautiously, she can't have two disorders already then find out she's delusional as well._

"_No, you are very much able to touch Santana physically," the doctor clarifies, allowing Brittany to breath again. "Yet," the doctor continues, although his voice is restrained, causing Brittany to look at him desperately in search to find out what he's hiding. "For how long you'll be able to touch Santana, I can't tell you I'm afraid." He says with the deepest regret._

* * *

><p>"I hate Monday's," Santana moans at the dining table as she sits opposite Brittany who hungrily digs into her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "I mean, the days go on forever and every time I see Berry's obnoxiously pink Beetle in the parking lot, I have to accept the fact that she made it through yet another weekend <em>alive<em>."

"It's okay," Brittany mumbles through a full mouth. "I hate today too."

"Yeah, what's up with that, I was worried about you in biology there?" Santana asks, digging her spoon into her pot of jello.

"_Uhh... Excuse me?_" A scrawny, ill-postured boy with large round glasses and a robust head of brown spirally hair clears his throat timidly, catching both of the girls' attention. He holds a journal and a pen in one hand and a recording device in the other. He's dressed like he's from the seventies, wearing his yellow t-shirt tucked into his brown, velvet flared pants and the smell of bad body odour encapsulates the girls' senses, causing them both to scrunch up their noses in disgust. "My name is Jacob Ben Israel-"

"I know who you are, JewFro, now what do you want?" Santana narrows her eyes, slurping on her black currant slushy.

"W-well, Since the school newspaper, The Muckraker is coming back, there's just one little question th-that I'd like to ask," he nods, eagerly pressing record on his tape.

"For the last time, Snorlax, I'm _not _flashing you my _bra!" _Santana exclaims, scrunching up her brown paper lunch bag.

"Actually, there's a rumour going around that you're having sexual lesbian relations with the foxy new blonde bombshell, Brittany S. Pierce that sits opposite you today. Is that true?" He asks, shoving the microphone directly into Santana's head space.

"Get that outta my face!" Santana snaps, pushing the recording device away. "And _no!" _She shakes her head in disbelief. "Leave us alone!"

"Yes," Brittany admits, wiping the peanut butter from the corners of her lips casually. "One hundred percent true."

Jacob stands there frozen in disbelief while Santana glares over at her girlfriend.

"_What?_" Brittany asks innocently.

"You're not supposed to feed the troll, Britt! Now he's going to make up some far-fetched, idiot ass article about how were were caught doing it in the Principal's office..." Santana shakes her head before turning her attention back to- "JACOB! Don't picture that!" Santana squeals as she finds the teenage boy, two years her junior, falling into a daydream.

"Uuuuuhhh..." Jacob mutters out.

"Ew!" Santana grimaces before throwing the balled-up brown paper bag at his head, causing him to come back down to earth again.

"Sorry! Sorry!" He shakes his head apologetically. "And is it true, Brittany S. Pierce, that you're the hottest new addition to Coach Sylvester's Cheerios?"

"No, you know what? _GET LOST! _Or else I will shove that tape recorder so far up your ass that you won't walk straight for a week, you get me?"

Without another word, Jacob backs up and almost trips over his flares as he steps away just when he sets his sights on the next rumour filled gossip story.

"Whenever you get defensive, I get sexually excited," Brittany admits shamelessly, peeling the orange fruit slowly in her hand causing Santana to cock a brow.

"Oh really?" She asks and Brittany nods with a slight grin. "Well, what can I say? I might only have use of one arm and have a couple of fractured ribs here and there, but at least my tongue is still working wonders."

"That too..." Brittany bites her lip. "That's hot."

Santana giggles out and takes a deep breath, her smile altering slightly as her train of thought turns more serious.

"And _you," _Santana begins, taking Brittany's hand in hers from across the table. "You've got me worried about you today, what's up?" She asks.

Brittany watches as Santana's tan hand overlaps her own. There's something artificial about the vision that captures Brittany's attention completely and soon she forgets what Santana originally asked.

"_Can we go home?_"

* * *

><p>"I was all for skipping class back when it was cool and stuff but now that my mother has abandoned me and my father is no longer in my life, I really need to be able to go to college and support myself," Santana fusses as she tries to keep up with Brittany.<p>

"Cool as in a couple of months ago?" Brittany retorts eagerly stepping down the pathway into their neighbourhood.

"Yeah but that was different, we had fallen into a swimming pool and were _drenched. _Why do you want to go home so badly anyway? We only had two more hours left of school?" Santana pants, feeling out of breath.

"I just need to clear my head... I need to get a few things out of my system," Brittany confesses, pulling Santana eagerly by the hand as they make their way along the foot of her yard.

"Well can you at least slow _down _a little?" Santana tries to pull her back but fails to do so. "Or tell me what the hell is going on!" Santana finally manages to break her hand free from Brittany's grasp as they step up on to the porch.

Damn it, Brittany!" Santana eventually yells out, fed up from all the unanswered questions. "First this morning, then biology class and _now..." _Santana swallows hoarsely. "You're _scaring _me_,_" she utters, her voice cracking slightly. Brittany slowly turns to face her and Santana notices that the hard line between Brittany's brows has returned. Brittany looks at her remorsefully and Santana can see the pain in her eyes as the blues turn back to grey. Before Santana can say anything else, Brittany envelopes Santana in her arms for a tight embrace, holding her head against her own heart.

"I didn't mean to scare you," Brittany murmurs, tears threatening to sting her eyes as she looks up at the overcast sky. "I didn't mean that..."

Neither Santana nor Brittany count the minutes that pass as they stand on the porch steps, Brittany never wants to let go of her again, although she knows she will eventually have to.

"I love you," Brittany whispers as she squeezes her eyes shut. "No matter what happens."

* * *

><p>"<em>What do you mean, for how long I am able to touch Santana?" Brittany raises her voice, not liking one bit what the doctor is suggesting.<em>

"_I know this is going to be difficult for you to understand," the doctor informs her in a repentant manner. "And I'm sorry that I'm the one to tell you this"_

"_What do you mean, for how long I am able to touch Santana?" Brittany asks again, feeling more angry than anything as her vision blurs from tears. The doctor waits for a moment so that Brittany calms down again before checking over his notes one last time._

"_You care deeply about Santana, she is the first person to bring you out of your comfort zone and so you have adapted to feeling comfortable outside of that zone when she is there with you." He explains, making sure to look up every now and again to see that Brittany's still following. "There hasn't been a day gone by that you haven't interacted with Santana in some way since you met her and so she herself has become your comfort zone, would you say that I was wrong?" He asks and Brittany silently shakes her head._

"_You wanted so much to be able to touch Santana to such an extent that your brain went into what we call an altered mental state, where the subject of Santana – now your comfort zone - becomes a trigger event for your brain to send out false signals. So the more you saw and interacted with Santana, the more you believed that you would one day be able to __physically touch her. And so the secretion of hormones that creates this altered state of mind reaches the point where you're actually one day able to physically touch her without any drawbacks."_

_Brittany's head hurts as she tries to make sense of his words and the fact that the wind and rain is battering against the window doesn't help._

"_Does that mean... I'm not getting better?" Brittany asks, internally praying to God that she is wrong but the doctor's hard line across his mouth only confirms her fears._

"_I'm afraid so," he says sympathetically._

"_But... but I can touch her," Brittany argues with his statement, goosebumps pricking away at her skin. "It doesn't make sense," she shakes her head, refusing to believe it._

"_Unfortunately, the altered mental state is temporary, lasting from a couple of hours to usually a couple of months. After then, the patient is always most likely to relapse._

"_But why?" Brittany chokes out as she finally looses her voice. It feels as if she's swallowed a clump of razors and finds it hard to breath in that moment. She can't be hearing this._

"_You have a phobia, Brittany. It doesn't go away over night.." The doctor can only shake his head._

"_That's wrong!" Brittany cries through ground teeth. "Because I can touch Santana, I can kiss her, I can hold her and I can love her just like anybody else!"_

"_I'm sorry this happened to you, but you do need to be prepared-"_

"_No..." Brittany shakes her head, not wanting to hear any more as she covers her ears and clenches her eyes shut._

"_The best you can do is get out there and interact with different people, even though you feel uncomfortable you need to familiarise yourself with the world instead of living in a bubble and that way you can work on truly getting better... It's the only way you can make progress." The doctor stops there, not needing to say any more that would taint Brittany's real state of mind any further while he patiently allows her to come around. It takes some time for her to re-open her eyes and uncover her ears, but when she does, all she can do is sit there and cry as the revelation truly sinks in. She thought that she had experienced a miracle, that magic really did exist for someone like her but it turned out be anything but._

_Finally, her cheeks turn sticky as old, unbroken tears lubricate her red eyes before she completely wipes them away altogether with her sleeve as she sniffles quietly to herself with her head hung low. She too doesn't have anything else to say, only the truth to carry on her shoulders until the fateful day comes when she will no longer be able to touch Santana, however soon that may be._

* * *

><p><em><em>End of Chapter XXI<em>_

**So there's a few things coming up soon. I wonder how Santana's going to react with Brittany being on the Cheerios now.**

**And Glee Club Nationals.**

**And don't forget, the Muckraker and Santana's own dirty little secret. **

**Also the talk with Brittany's parents is next chapter...**

**Please review! :D **


	22. Chapter XXII

[_AN] Thank you everyone who takes their time to read, review and even rec this fic. It's been such a pleasure to write so far and we still have a bit to go. But you guys are all worth it! And always, thank you, Sinnana - you're truly great. (Also shout out to Laura who likes to watch me write live, lol). _

_And for those who don't know, I will be writing a sequel to this! (But a lot still needs to happen first...) Enjoy! :)_

_EDIT: Omg, I totally forgot to add the songs included in this chapter. (That's what I get for updating in the early hours of the morning!) _

_On Youtube, add:_

_**/watch?v=NzlGZDzdsPg** - for the first song._

_**/watch?v=3AlHjb0xpIE** - for the second song. _

**_CHAPTER XXII_**

* * *

><p>For every embrace the the two girls share, the harder it is for Brittany to let Santana go, and as they stand on the porch like they have done so many times before, it's almost impossible for Brittany to tear away this time. Too much has happened for her to just let it all go again. Ever since moving to Ohio, Brittany has accomplished things that she would never have imagined half a year ago: she is no longer the scared little girl that followed her feet all day, she is finally able to feel the world through her hands without the burden of a silly glove as well as finally being able to feel with her heart. She has fallen in love, despite all the ignorant naysayers and their stereotypical theories regarding people with Brittany's condition, her love for Santana only grows with each passing day, even when the world is sometimes cruel and unforgiving, like today... but the way she has felt about Santana never once altered and should they have to face any more of these days, Brittany knows that at least her love will stay the same.<p>

_"Light up, light up_**" **Santana begins to sing quietly, nestling her head further into the crook of Brittany's neck, who can't help her lips from curling into a small smile when she feels Santana squeezing her tighter.

_"As if you have a choice,_**  
><strong>_Even if you cannot hear my voice,_**  
><strong>_I'll be right beside you dear."_

Santana stops there, and twists her head to look up to her girlfriend whose quirky smile stays smitten on her face.

"There you go, all better" Santana grins, softly raising her hand to tap the end of Brittany's nose playfully with her index finger. Brittany follows with her eyes until they are crossed as she stares down at her cold, pink nose.

Now give me a kiss," Santana mutters, taking a hold of the collar to Brittany's jacket before she pulls her down and plants a tender kiss on top of Brittany's lips. Brittany lingers on for as long as she can, holding Santana as if she were holding on for scraps. And when Santana's hot blooded lips finally part from Brittany's to take a breath, they still keep connected, grazing noses while their eyes search for each other before getting lost completely. Brittany's gripping, glassy eyes are endless. Untold stories lie in the midst of every blue tint like the deepest of oceans that crashes with Santana's which are as dark as the night's sky as well as the limitless galaxies beyond. It's where the epitome of their whole relationship lies, resting along the horizon and Brittany watches Santana, feeling with every fibre of her body and soon she's taken back to a time when the rolls were reversed.

* * *

><p><em>"You remind me so much of my father; since the the first day when you played Gypsy Girl, you took me to that place where everything was okay. The way you look at me, the way you make me feel, I just..." Santana stops for a beat as she tries to find the correct words. "I just need you Brittany." She confesses, attempting to wipe away the tears but failing as more come. Brittany feels the pulling sensation within her again as Santana stands on her doorstep, breaking down in front her and spilling out her heart. Brittany feels her hands twitch, she feels an invisible force drawing her closer to Santana, almost like a string pulling at her like a puppet.<em>

_"Do you want a hug?" Brittany asks reluctantly but with the most sincere intention. Santana looks __up at her surprised and can't help but crack a small smile before nodding and pulling Brittany towards her for a tight embrace. Brittany stands still as Santana's head rests where her heart beats with her arms around her waist, pouring out as many tears as she could treasure which was years of bottled up emotions. After a while, Brittany becomes more comfortable with the proximity and sinks deeper into the intimate embrace as they stand on Brittany's porch just holding onto one another_.

* * *

><p>"Do you feel that?" Santana asks, playing with the buttons on Brittany's jacket.<p>

"Feel what?" Brittany blinks in confusion, allowing Santana to offer her a crooked grin before she stares at their feet bashfully.

"It gets better, Britt," Santana replies before glancing back up as she takes her hand and gently runs her fingers through Brittany's hair. "That invisible tether you feel that pulls you in, as long as it's there, then we can get through anything... we always do."

And Brittany can feel it, just as strong as she remembers if not stronger and the only difference this time is that Brittany is able to take Santana's hand, look her in the eyes without feeling inferior, smile with the deepest gratification and heartily say,

"_Thank you_..."

Santana watches as unfallen tears form in the corners of Brittany's eyes and she wants nothing more to do than kiss them away along with all her worries. However, a gracious smile in return and a squeeze of her hand instead is all she can do in that moment before a chilling gust of wind swoops in between them, causing the girls to shiver in the cold and finally acknowledge their surroundings to which they eventually find Grace standing at the doorway with her arms crossed and her expression surprisingly disheartening. "I think it's time we had that little talk..." She tells them, her voice as frosty as the wind.

* * *

><p>It's been too long since the last word was spoken at the dinner table, and even that was just James asking his wife to pass the salt. Brittany stares aimlessly at her plate as she rolls her peas around with her fork, not particularly feeling much of an appetite while Santana slowly sips apple juice from her glass, trading taut glances between Brittany and her parents.<p>

"So..." James sighs out in his usual boisterous manner as he rubs his full stomach. "How is everyone feeling today?" He asks with a grin and Santana wants so much to tell him that some of his dinner has been caught between his teeth but something tells her that this isn't the right moment.

"You might want to start off by asking why I caught your daughter skipping her first day back at school, why I caught both of them, in fact," Grace informs her husband dismissively, casting disapproving looks between the girls who sit shame-faced opposite them. James tilts his head in confusion and cocks an eyebrow as he peers over the table to his daughter.

"Is this true, Brittany?" He asks with a frown, his demeanour quickly changing from the usual gentle giant to an irate one. Brittany nods her head slowly as she successfully attempts to stab away at her peas without them rolling off the plate. Santana can be heard making an audible gulping sound as she swallows her drink with difficulty, while internally praying that whatever happens after their 'talk' with Brittany's parents, that it is in no way similar to what happened when she came out to Anita.

"Really sorry, Mr and Mrs Pierce, but I totally gotta pee!" Santana cringes as she rises from her chair but not without the legs squeaking audibly against the wooden floor, turning all the family's attention towards her as they glance up from their plates.

"Santana, sit down..." Grace orders bluntly, her usually sweet voice like gravel on the ground as she pats down her apron aggressively, trying to straighten out the creases.. "You have just as much to answer for as Brittany does."

Santana almost whimpers, feeling an aversion for the detracting looks cast by Brittany's parents. They are never going to approve of her relationship with Brittany, she just knows it... And so in the five seconds it takes for Grace to tell Santana to sit down once again, she starts to panic internally. What if she is asked to leave? Then what was she going to do? She glances down to Brittany for moral support but _she's_too busy sticking the rim of her glass up to her eye, watching as the bubbles burst from her soda.

"Sit down, Santana," Grace asks one final time, her patience wearing on a very thin line.

Santana has to practically cross her legs as she slowly takes her seat again, pursing her lips and dropping her gaze to her palms that begin to sweat in her lap.

"Tell me, _Brittany.._" Grace begins, dabbing her napkin against her red painted lips. "Why did I catch you two missing class today?"

"Britt hasn't been feeling so great today, Mrs Pierce-"

"Did I ask you?" Grace interjects, flashing a stale look towards Santana who straightens in her chair defensively.  
>"Mom, you shouldn't be so mean to Santana, she didn't do anything wrong..." Brittany finally speaks up, frowning across the table at her parents.<p>

"_Truancy _is wrong, Brittany," Grace retorts, taking a generous swig from her glass of white wine. "And I'm not being mean, I care about Santana very much and so it concerns me when she's jeopardizing her education. So, I apologise if I come off as a little abrasive, honey," Grace tells Santana with a hint of remorse. "I just want both of you to do very well and I was rather disappointed when I found that both of you had been skipping school, that's all," Grace sighs, dropping her napkin to her now empty plate.

Santana can feel herself beginning to relax again. Maybe Grace had been oblivious to the girls' _real_ antics this whole time. Maybe Santana was just looking much too far into things and that she and Brittany could hide their relationship for a little while longer, until they were _really _comfortable with coming out to another parent, let alone two.

"There also something that your father and I want to discuss with you both, something that we have been aware of for a little while now, between the both of _you_..."

_Shit..._

Grace trades a knowing look with James who nods subtly before they turn back to look at the girl's again who wait silently with eyes wide in apprehension, hearts racing and palms sweating profusely.

"Is there something that you're not telling us?" Grace asks. "Something that's going on between you two?"

The table is silent as the air around the girls' turns thick.

"Uhh..." Santana exhales shakily, glancing over to Brittany again who actually returns a similar look of sheer dread.

With every passing second, Santana can feel the ends of her fingers tingle with adrenaline, like the electrodes in her brain are screaming for her to run away but such action would be impossible without the second half of the circuit, Brittany.

"Yes," Brittany confesses breathlessly, even though her condition made Brittany misconstrue many things, she knew that her parents questioning her relationship with Santana was inevitable, that one day she would be telling them about her real honest feelings for Santana, her best friend. She planned it ever since she felt that first pull of the tether. "Yes, Santana and I... w-we love each other, Momma."

Yet only one thing returns to Santana's mind in that moment, something she has been trying to escape from ever since it happened...

* * *

><p><em>"Then you are nothing but dead to me," Anita snarls, lips curled and teeth bared.<em>

_Anita might as well have drawn a handgun to her daughter's chest and pulled the trigger. And for the first time in a long time, Santana agrees with her; after all, she does feel dead inside. Her skin is stone cold, her face is vacant, eyes distant and she is sure that her heart has stopped beating because she has definitely stopped breathing in that moment. There is nothing else to be done, nothing else Santana can say but remember her mother's final, paralysing words._

* * *

><p>"<em>I can't do this again...<em>" Santana whispers inaudibly to herself, pulling at a loose thread on the end of the cuff on her sleeve as she watches the uncertain scrutiny in the faces of Brittany's parents quickly change into a real state of consciousness for the first time that Santana has seen. The frowns that knit their brows together eventually ease up and the tight line of their lips fall parted as the reality begins to hit them.

"We're in love," Brittany repeats, reaching her hand out for Santana's under the tablecloth as she continues facing the front to watch her parents wearily. "We're together." Her voice is calm but Santana can feel Brittany's fingers twitch nervously under her own as they rest upon her thigh.

As time progresses, as the silence lingers on for another second, Grace can feel her heart sink a little bit more with each passing breath. It's only when James takes a firm hold of her hand that everything comes full circle. The amount of times she spent piecing the little parts together to make a bigger picture, all the while denying it at the same time. Brittany's endless questions about how to know if you love someone, the way her whole personality changes when she speaks so highly of Santana, the way she always seems that little bit better whenever Santana is by her side.

"Please say something? Because I-I don't like it when you go all quiet like that..." Brittany bites down on her lip, exchanging her looks back and forth from her mom to her dad. "_Mom?_"

Grace glances down to her left hand where a gold band that has dulled with age wraps around her third finger where it has stayed since the day it was slipped on. She tilts her hand slightly and admires the way it still fights to shine under the light from the chandelier, even after all these years.

"When I told your grandmother about James and me finally getting together, she told me that the two of us would never make it together because the odds were against us... Grace shakes her head at the memory as she twists the wedding band around her finger with her thumb. "He was a working class _scoundrel_ and I came from a middle class background. '_I'll give ya six months before he's done with ya and moving on to the next one!', _she said... But even after thirty years your father still looks at me in the same way when we first met." Grace glances over to her husband with just as much love as she had for him on their wedding day. "When you believe in something so strongly, that you trust in it with all your heart, then I guess the odds don't matter in the end... because you have your belief, and that's what _really _matters."

It's endearing for Brittany, watching the way her parents look at each other with so much love still left to give. Yet, her mother's words are only tainted by her therapist's logic. She can't bring herself to believe that the odds would work in her favour like they did with her parents... not now.

"You truly _do _love each other?" James asks, turning the focus back to the girls as they still walk around on eggshells, a little skeptical about the way the conversation has turned out. Santana nods, afraid that if she speaks that she might swallow her tongue while Brittany practically crushes her hand.

"Then I will learn to accept that," Grace finally offers a genuine smile, although it carries a hint of sadness and when she ducks her head down to look at her wedding band again, a knot in her chest begins to unfasten and soon tears begin to spill from her eyes and into her hands. "I just want you to know, Brittany, that you will never have disappointed me because of this, disappointed either of us for that matter." Grace chokes out as she shakily wipes the tears from her eyes with her hands. "We are both so _proud_of you and no matter who you decide to be or who you want to be with, we will support that as much as we can."

Brittany can hear that her mother's words are in her favour, yet her tears not so much. The moment is bittersweet and she doesn't know how to react, so she turns to Santana whose eyes are bloodshot red from her own tears as she silently cries next to her.

"_Thank God..._" Santana whispers in relief, only loud enough for just the both of them to hear before Brittany grabs Santana's chair, pulling it towards herself before reaching out to her bubbling girlfriend for a tight embrace. She can feel Santana wriggle with laughter beneath her and she too feels like she should be laughing along with her, but as she peers over at the old Grandfather clock in her line of vision, she watches as time ticks on by and her smile soon begins to fade.

"Oh!" Grace chuckles out tearfully. "And you're both grounded, I don't want either of you skipping class again..."

"_But mom!_"

* * *

><p>"I still can't believe it!" Santana squeals as she bursts through Brittany's bedroom door, all the uncertainty that had bundled up inside her before now being released as excited spurts of energy as she hops around the room humming to herself. Brittany slowly follows behind, feeling more exhausted than anything else.<p>

"I totally thought your parents hated me for a second there... I mean, I'm so happy that my ribs don't even hurt and check this out..." Santana waves her cast in the air before slamming it down on the bed frame, causing Brittany to jump. "See, nothing! I'm so happy I'm practically invincible, I feel like the Incredible Hulk, only hotter." Santana sighs contentedly as she pirouettes over to the radio. "We did it Britt," she smiles to herself as she flicks through the channels. "Now you have nothing to worry about, we can finally be together, for reals." Just then a melody Santana hasn't heard for years begins to play and as soon as she hears his soulful, raspy tone, she grins from the nostalgia.

"Man, I haven't heard this song ever since I watched that movie with Elisha what's-her-face? The Girl Next Door..." Santana bites her lips as she listens to the opening lines of the song.

_This years love had better last_  
><em>Heaven knows it's high time<em>  
><em>I've been waiting on my own, too long<em>

"Which is kinda ironic... I guess," Santana coos as she spins around, letting her hair beat off her cheeks before setting her sights on Brittany who is leaning against her door, just staring at the ground, unable to look any less present.

"Britt?" Santana frowns and when Brittany forgets to acknowledge her, she knows then that something definitely isn't right. "Brittany?"

_When you hold me like you do_  
><em>It feels so right, oh now<em>  
><em>Start to forget how my heart gets torn<em>  
><em>When that hurt gets thrown<em>  
><em>Feelin' like I can't go on.<em>

"_It's not fair,_" Brittany whispers vacantly, although the song drowns out her voice and Santana has to squint to read her lips when she repeats herself again.

_Turnin' circles time again _  
><em>Cut like a knife, oh now<em>  
><em>If you love me got to know for sure<em>

Santana is immediately at Brittany's side when she sees the blood begin to drain from her face. And by the time Santana reaches her, Brittany can feel herself become unsteady on her feet.

"Brittany?"

"It's not _fair," _she mumbles again, her eyes tracing every outline of every object in her room as she tries to stay on the grip of reality.

_Cuz' it takes something more this time_  
><em>Then sweet, sweet lies, oh now<em>  
><em>Before I open up my arms and fall losing all control<em>  
><em>Every dream inside my soul<em>

"Britt, can you hear me? Look at me, tell me what's wrong..." Santana presses her palm against Brittany's forehead to check her temperature. But when Brittany tilts her chin up to finally look at Santana in the eyes, it only takes a couple of seconds for a lifetime of bottled emotions that she has never known existed to eventually spill out right in front of her.

_When you kiss me on that midnight street_  
><em>Sweep me off my feet<em>  
><em>Singin' ain't this life so sweet?<em>

"I'm so sorry!" Brittany chokes out, covering her mouth with her hands. Tears erupt from her eyes spilling like lava down her cheeks that leave a burning trail and all that Brittany can do is endure the pain of knowing that the time she has with Santana, to be connected with her physically, is only limited. "It's just not fair!" she squeaks, covering her face with her hands.

_This years love had better last_

Santana has always been strong for Brittany but even seeing her like this scares her a little.

_This years love had better last_

"_Hey, hey! Don't cry!" _Santana tells her gently as she takes Brittany's hands in hers before capturing her attention and it's as if she is looking into Brittany's eyes for the first time again. The untold tales of her burdened past finally make an appearance, bare for Santana to see. Every single wall that Brittany has ever erected has finally crumbled down. "I mean, your parents just left not two minutes ago, I could sprint out onto the road and see if there still there?"

"He... he said I was gonna relapse, Santana!" Brittany sobs, her whole body jittering,

_"What?" _Santana squeaks, taking Brittany's head between her hands. "What do you mean?" She asks, her own throat beginning to feel tighter.

He..." Brittany blurts out, trying to take a deep breath. "He said I wasn't g-getting better, that my brain..." Brittany looks at Santana for a moment through her blurred vision in a last attempt to keep it together but it's hopeless when she drops her head helplessly on Santana's shoulder, bawling out in defeat.

He said that my state of mind was _altered_, something in my head... something that I don't understand... I don't know, I don't know..." Brittany cries out and Santana is unsure if she even understands as she runs her fingers through the back of Brittany's head, in an attempt to soothe her. "He said that my being able to touch you was temporary... that I could relapse anytime," Brittany hiccups while Santana listens silently, staring aimlessly at the white painted wooden door as she holds Brittany in her arms. "He said that, that... that I wouldn't be able to touch you-"

_"Shh.." _Santana quietly hushes Brittany, closing her eyes as she gently rocks her from side to side.

_Cuz' whose to worry if our hearts get torn_**  
><strong>_When that hurt gets thrown_**  
><strong>_Don't you notice life goes on_

"I don't want it to go away, Santana..." Brittany mumbles into the crook of Santana's neck. "I finally just got it back."

"I know, I know," Santana nods stiffly. Even though her own heart is breaking in that moment, she needs to keep strong for both of them right now. "Hey, look at me?" Santana leans back and takes one of Brittany's hands and brings it up to her own face before she places Brittany palm against her cheek and her own hand on top of Brittany's. "You feel this?" She asks, waiting for Brittany to finally look and when she does, Santana traces her thumb across Brittany's knuckles. "It's still here," She whispers, watching as a single tear slowly cascades down Brittany's now red cheek. "You've still got it and that's all that matters, you understand?"

_Won't you kiss me on that midnight street_**  
><strong>_Sweep me off my feet_**  
><strong>_Singin' ain't this life so sweet_

"Promise me, Brittany." Santana tells her, tears threatening to fall from her own eyes. "Promise me that from now on, every touch you feel, that you will hold onto it and cherish it until you are no longer able to do so, okay?"

Brittany drops her gaze to her feet and murmurs to herself, how can she promise something like that when it hurts so bad?

"And no, don't you _dare _start following your feet again because you _will_fall back and you'll just prove the doctor right... to _hell_ what he has to say," Santana grimaces. "Remember what your mom said at the dinner table? About going against the odds?"

"Yeah, but it's different..." Brittany mutters.

"No it's _not_! Why should it be? We're just as equal to them... we're no different at all." Santana tells her firmly. "Please just look at me and promise you'll try?"

_This years love had better last,_

Spent, Brittany finds the last ounce of strength within her and lifts her chin back up to look at Santana in the eye. She blinks tiredly, her eyes red and puffy from crying and she can see Santana's expression match her own, except that she's drifted out of the present back to when Santana had just told Anita about their relationship, back to that conversation in the bathroom.

* * *

><p><em>"I'm going to speak to someone. I'm going to get better so if I ever see you like this again I can take your face in my hands, rest my forehead against yours and promise you that it will get better, it will," Brittany grinds her teeth as determination feeds through every vein in her body and just as she does, Santana breaks again as she lets out a soft whimper that gradually turns into a eyes remain tightly shut but the tears escape her eyelids and flow effortlessly down her face.<em>

_"And you have to believe me, okay?" Brittany asks but her own voice breaks as tears form in her own eyes. "I need you to believe in me."_

_Santana's shoulders heave, unable to stop her silent cries as she chokes out and quivers but she nods, she listens to Brittany and she nods._

_"Please," Brittany begs. "Please looks at me and just say okay, that's all I need."_

* * *

><p>"<em>Okay," <em>Brittany whispers as she slowly trails her fingers down Santana's face before Santana turns her head to kiss the inside of Brittany's wrist. "I promise," she says in a daze as the song finally comes to an end. When there's nothing but silence, Santana stand on the tips of her toes and reaches her head up to kiss away the tears from Brittany's eyes before taking Brittany's hands in hers again.

"Good," Santana smiles as she leads Brittany over to the bed before gesturing her to take a seat just as another song begins playing on the radio. It's more alternative than the last as guitars begin the opening instrumental. Brittany crouches on to the bed next to Santana before falling back into the middle of the mattress, her blonde hair splayed out around her head as she sniffles up at the ceiling.

_I felt for sure last night_**  
><strong>_That once we said goodbye_**  
><strong>_No one else will know these lonely dreams_**  
><strong>_No one else will know that part of me_

Santana gazes down at her as she gently wipes away the lonely strands of hair that have stuck to Brittany's damp cheeks.

"_Thank you_," Brittany mumbles under her breath as she pretends that she's outside, looking up at the sky instead of her ceiling.

_I'm still driving away_**  
><strong>_And I'm sorry every day_**  
><strong>_I won't always love these selfish things_**  
><strong>_I won't always live..._**  
><strong>_Not stopping..._

"Anything for you..." Santana replies, casting a loving gaze down at Brittany who catches it as she peers back up to her. Slowly, Brittany extends her arm again and takes Santana's face in her hand, feeling the heat from the blood beneath her flesh, the contours of her cutting cheek bones and the softness of her skin. She truly is a star, the most captivating supernova that Brittany has ever come across and she is right here in her hands.

_It was my turn to decide_**  
><strong>_I knew this was our time_**  
><strong>_No one else will have me like you do_**  
><strong>_No one else will have me, only you_

"_C'mere," _Brittany tweets out softly, bringing Santana's face down with her hand until her forehead rests against her own. She drops her gaze down to Santana's lips before travelling her hand behind Santana's neck and pulling her in for a needed kiss.

Brittany's lips burn underneath Santana's heated kiss as their noses crush against each other. She webs her fingers through the thick strands of Santana's hair before balling it all up in her fist as she sucks onto Santana's bottom lip. Their breaths are shaky and uneven but their kisses eventually turn patient and tender before Santana leans back again, watching as Brittany's lips twitch.

_You'll sit alone forever_**  
><strong>_If you wait for the right time_**  
><strong>_What are you hoping for?_**  
><strong>_I'm here and now I'm ready_**  
><strong>_Holding on tight_**  
><strong>_Don't give away the end_**  
><strong>_The one thing that stays mine_

Santana kneels back on the bed and watches as Brittany slowly begins unfastening the buttons on the collar of her polo t-shirt. The assertiveness in her eyes causes Santana to take an extra breath as Brittany eventually sits up and pulls her shirt up and over her head. Brittany's milky skin glows under the dim light from the bedside lamp that casts shadows on her stomach, extending the soft but toned line that drops town the centre of her torso all the way to her navel.

Brittany mirrors Santana now as she kneels on the bed opposite her only a few inches apart. Santana takes a deep breath, her eyes falling on Brittany's red lace bra that cups her breasts perfectly before her hands automatically play at the hem of her own t-shirt. She eventually pulls the fabric over her and can see Brittany's eyes glow with gratitude, as if she were thanking God that Santana is hers.

She is.

_Amazing still it seems_**  
><strong>_I'll be 23_**  
><strong>_I won't always love what I'll never have_**  
><strong>_I won't always live in my regrets_

Brittany brings her hands to Santana's face as she notes down every detail for when she no longer can. She can feel her eyes become misty again but she holds onto Santana's words about taking advantage of every moment from now on as she cups her palm over Santana's cheek. She can hear Santana swallowing despite the music that echoes off the walls and takes one last glance at her, a picture to keep in her memory of a time when she had her whole life in her hands. And without anything needing to be said, Brittany swoops in and crashes her lips against Santana's as their bodies connect once again.

_You'll sit alone forever_**  
><strong>_If you wait for the right time_**  
><strong>_What are you hoping for?_**  
><strong>_I'm here I'm now I'm ready_**  
><strong>_Holding on tight_**  
><strong>_Don't give away the end_**  
><strong>_The one thing that stays mine_

The rest of their clothes have already been torn from their bodies and now they kneel in just their underwear in the middle of the bed. Red lace fabric against white. Peach milky skin against Santana's sun-kissed tan while their lips move eagerly against the others. Santana's thick hair falls in loose ringlets around their faces and Brittany can't help but run her hands through it, tangling her fingers around the strands while Santana lightly brushes her own fingers down Brittany's stomach, leaving a trail of goosebumps along the way.

Their lips are swollen from being sucked, licked and nibbled in between kisses. Their bodies begin to turn sticky from the heat that radiates off one another but it only makes their passion for each other stronger. And as Santana takes Brittany's bottom lip between her teeth, she reaches under Brittany's arms and finds the clasp to her bra, before un-clipping it with one quick flick of her hand. Santana leans back again, but not without sucking hard on Brittany's lip causing her to moan out. Santana then pulls away completely watching the way as the flimsy material teasingly slips from Brittany's shoulders.

"_Wow," _Santana whispers, biting her bottom lip as her eyes travel down to Brittany's bare chest. She wants to be greedy and take her right there in her mouth, but this is Brittany's time, and so she learns to be patient and admires her from her distance.

Brittany begins to lean back until she's lying down the length of her bed, propped up on her elbows. Her breath is irregular but not because she's nervous and she looks at Santana with hooded, inviting eyes. Santana also waits a beat to remember this moment before crawling up the bed until she is directly above Brittany, nestled in between her smooth legs as she traces feathery light touches along her left calf and thigh with her fingertips. Brittany squirms under her touch and Santana can only gaze at her tenderly, her mouth curling into a smile before leaning down and reconnecting their lips once again.

As the song dives into the powerful instrumental, the girls kiss each other slowly but feverishly, wanting more but making sure to take their time. Their tongues circle around the other as each of them savour the taste, the texture and the heat. Brittany curls her legs around Santana's waist as she slowly runs her hands up Santana's back before finding the clasp to her bra. She isn't as skilled as Santana so it takes a little while longer for her to un-clip the flimsy piece of material so when she finally does, she smiles triumphantly against Santana's lips causing Santana to chuckle into her mouth.

Once Santana disentangles her bra, she hovers above Brittany who can't take her eyes off her. She draws a picture with her eyes while her fingers lightly brush along Santana's collar bone and down the dip between her breasts. Santana watches Brittany's adventurous eyes that still strike a brilliant blue even under the dim light and the darkness of her lust. Santana then takes her cue to drop back down on Brittany before the two of them moan in synchronisation at the skin-on-skin contact of their heated bodies.

Their skin sticks to each other but they don't mind since the humidity only adds fuel to their fire as they kiss each other passionately. Santana moves away from Brittany's parted lips and moves on to her flushed cheeks, leaving a trail of small wet kisses while she gradually slides her hand up Brittany's arm, holding it above their heads until their fingers interlock with each other.

_You'll sit alone forever_

Santana then moves onto Brittany's ear that flames bright red in the heat before she nibbles down on her lobe. The feeling sends shooting surges of pleasure through Brittany's body, causing her eyes to roll to the back of her head. With her left hand pinned above her head by Santana's , Brittany brings her free hand up the curve of Santana's back again, her skin sliding from the light sheen of sweat before she drags her nails own the length of Santana's spine, causing her to hiss out.

_If you wait for the right time_

Santana then disengages her hand from Brittany's, dropping her arm to hold her waist as she begins kissing the crook of Brittany's neck, licking the skin there and sucking to leave a faint mark, her mark. Brittany writhes her hips with sweet anticipation as she twists her head to the side, allowing Santana more access to her jaw and down her neck as she leaves a trail of butterfly kisses. Santana's hot, wet tongue against her skin is like kryptonite, it makes her weak at the knees but leaves her craving for more.

_What are you hoping for?_

Santana continues to travel her hand from Brittany's waist down to the soft flesh of her inner thigh as she grazes her lips across the mound of Brittany's breast. There she flicks her tongue over Brittany's pink and pert nipple, allowing Brittany to whimper out and squeeze her thighs around Santana's waist in pleasure. Every feeling is heightened, even the slightest touch from Santana sends sensual jitters through Brittany's body.

"Please," Brittany quietly begs a little breathlessly. Santana eventually lifts her head to gaze up to her girlfriend as the ends of her hair tickle Brittany's stomach. Brittany looks down at her, her eyes completely black from the shadows of passion and even the sight of her between her legs is enough to cause Brittany to groan. "Please..." she asks again. Santana stops drawing circles on the inner side of Brittany's thigh to brush her hand across the fabric of Brittany's panties, already damp from arousal. Without warning, Santana presses her palm down on the spot that makes Brittany sigh out in pleasure, a satisfying grin as a small smile forms at the corners of her mouth.

_I'm here I'm now I'm ready_

Santana leans all the way back until she is kneeling to the side of Brittany's legs. There she tucks her fingers under the hem of the material before teasingly pulling the red lace fabric down Brittany's thighs until she is in nothing but her white knee high socks.

"_Fuck..._**" **Santana whispers, just the sight of Brittany - lying, waiting on the bed with her blonde hair splayed across the pillow, her chest heaving up and down, her parted lips as she runs her tongue along them, her spread legs, now with one at each side of Santana's waist... - it's enough to send Santana crazy. "You're perfect," Santana shakes her head in disbelief.

Brittany blinks slowly, her eyelids heavy as she lazily smiles before raising her hand and flicks her forefinger, pointing to her face in a 'come hither' motion. Santana immediately obliges as she slides up Brittany's body again, the pressure in her ribs completely irrelevant in that moment, before she takes Brittany's lips between hers again, her hand resting in the middle of Brittany's thighs. They sigh against each others mouths for a moment, adjusting to the heat as their skin sticks together and after another quick wet kiss, Santana leans tilts her head back to gaze down at her girlfriend lovingly.

Brittany beams up at her, taking her hand and tracing a love heart shape on the back of Santana's neck before brushing her fingers down her back again. Although, Brittany's smile fades when Santana just watches her with the most love in her eyes that Brittany has ever seen before, as if she were holding on to this moment, savouring every last second of it.

"I love you," Brittany coos softly, tracing her thumb tenderly over Santana's eyebrow. Santana smiles faintly before gently thrusting two fingers inside of Brittany and makes sure to note every twitch and flicker in her face.

_Holding on tight_

Santana concentrates on the way Brittany's brows knit together, the way her lips part slightly to let out a quiet whimper as she begins a steady rhythm with her wrist, working her fingers inside of Brittany's tight yet throbbing centre. She watches Santana watching her as each inch of her skin alights with nothing but a fiery need just as Santana circles her thumb over Brittany's bundle of nerves while continuously pumping in and out of her.

As Santana picks up her rhythm, Brittany drops her head back onto the pillow as both of them pant out before their lips crash together again. A tear of sweat drips down the side of Santana's temple as she can feel the pressure build inside her arm as well as the pressure clenching around her fingers, yet it only motivates her to work even harder. She begins curling her fingers in a hope to reach that certain spot and when Brittany groans audibly in her mouth as well as digging her nails into her back, she knows she has Brittany right where she wants her.

"That's right, baby..." Santana pants against Brittany's lips. "Come for me."

_Don't give away the end_

Brittany squeezes her eyes shut, trying so much to keep from spilling over the edge but the sheer thought of Santana making love to her in that moment is already too great. She curls her toes, tenses the muscles in her thighs and moans as Santana drives her fingers inside of her.

"_Come for me..._**" **Santana pants out again before pressing her thumb down hard on Brittany's clit while she curls her fingers at the same time, sending Brittany into oblivion as she cries out with pleasure, digging her nails thoroughly into Santana's back.

Santana's hand motions become slower and softer as she works through Brittany's orgasm. She hears noises escaping Brittany's lips that she's never heard before while her walls pulsate around her fingers. It's the most beautiful thing she has ever seen and heard. Brittany on the other hand is away with the stars as every fibre of her body starts to tingle with delight. It's the greatest thing she has ever felt, more so than the first time. And just in that moment, she is able to forget about the last couple of days and can actually appreciate this moment with Santana.

She doesn't even notice the tears that leak from the corners of her eyes, or the sweat that stings them until Santana leans down and kisses them away.

_The one thing that stays mine_

"_I love you too_," Santana smiles against her lips as she brings her hand back up and around to their side.

Brittany forgets that she's still has her nails clawed into the back of Santana's neck and shoots her a tired apologetic glance before she reaches over for the comforter. Santana doesn't move next to Brittany's side like usual, but instead rests her head on Brittany's chest, spent but completely content with her work tonight as Brittany throws the cover over the both of them.

As the song eventually fades out, Brittany gazes up to the ceiling one more time with Santana in her arms, slowly massaging her scalp until she falls asleep. This is the moment she's going to remember forever and she tells herself so. No one could take that away from her. Not even the laws of science.

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter XXII<em>

**More stuff coming up:**

**How is Santana going to react to Brittany being in the Cheerios?**

**Santana may very well soon try another shot of getting in contact with her father. **

**And Glee club Nationals are very soon, that's if they can make it to Nationals... Hmm.**

**Please review!**


	23. Chapter XXIII

[_AN] Hey! Long time no updates, huh? Yes, I was on a bit of a hiatus there for many reasons but now I'm back and ready to submit the longest chapter I've written yet! Also, it's two days till I published the first chapter of this fic one year ago! So that's pretty cool. _

_As always, thank you to everyone on here, tumblr, twitter etc who have been leaving lovely messages and reviews and for reading my story! And my beta who takes her time out to go over my fic and polish it up, it's always appreciated! :) You're all great! _

_So I hope you enjoy! 14K+ words for this one! _

_**_CHAPTER XXIII_**_

* * *

><p>"WHAT IS THIS <em>HORROR?<em>" Sue Sylvester spits through the giant microphone, holding it so tightly that her knuckles turn white. "YOU ALL MAKE STEPHEN HAWKING LOOK LIKE AN OLYMPIC GYMNAST!" She roars while Brittany cringes under each vicious flick of the coach's sharp tongue. Brittany takes her time tying her shoelaces, looping each knot with error yet on purpose while she watches the now-exhausted-and-pretty-pissed-off Cheerios complain about their fatigue on the field. Brittany shivers, sitting alone on the frosty bleachers, wearing nothing but the symbolic red and white uniform that covers only half her body. She must have been crazy to have agreed to this. Maybe she was hypnotised by Sue Sylvester's toe-crippling tone when she had said yes. Or maybe it was just the sheer determination to get better which influenced her decision. Yet, as Brittany witnesses a bunch of hunched up cheerleaders vibrate cheerlessly across the grass in an attempt to warm up, she concludes that each and every one of them must have been put under Sue Sylvester's spell, because any other explanation would have been illogical.

"I can't feel my fingers!" A girl with red, curly hair and a face painted with freckles complains. Brittany watches fearfully from a distance as the coach widens her eyes with confined rage and slowly lifts the microphone to her lips once again while the rest of the group gasps aloud. The petite redhead can only swallow with the most difficulty from fear.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY CHEERIOS!" Sue blasts through the microphone as the whole squad, including Brittany on the bleachers, flinch under her demand.

"B-but what did I do?" The redhead shrieks while the rest of the group turn to gawk at her. Brittany bites her nails and taps her foot nervously, unsure whether to run away now or stay and witness the outcome of the ginger-haired girl's fate.

"When I was a kid, my mother forced us to eat soap if we ever complained about something we should have appreciated," The coach begins to explain, walking back and forth in a military fashion in front of her dancers. "Now, if I was principal here, I would have that rule made mandatory and have you eat a block of grimy used shower soap each day for a week," she smiles as the rest of the girls all grimace in disgust. "But I'm not principal, which, in my opinion, is absolutely preposterous. So the next best thing I can do is have you off my Cheerios because guess what, Ginger Spice? You complained and I don't have room for complaining unless it's Will Schuester complaining about the fact that I parked my car horizontally in his space this morning," Sue shrugs. "And if you complain, that means you don't fully appreciate your position on the squad and you no longer deserve to take that trophy home when we win Nationals next month."

"I d-do appreciate it, coach!" The girl cries out. "It's just that it's really c-cold out here today," she sniffles.

"If anyone else is cold, put up your hand," Sue orders and waits while the other girls anxiously look around amongst themselves, watching if anyone dares to raise their hand although their teeth rattle together from the obvious chill. Content with proving her point, Sue turns to the girl and brings the microphone to her mouth. "Scoot!"

The poor girl nearly jumps out of her uniform all together and when she realises that she has just been kicked off the squad, her eyes glass over, her bottom lip begins to quiver and a small whimper escapes her mouth. Not giving any sympathy, the coach sends her on her way and soon she's running across the field in a flood of tears with her face hidden in her hands.

"Uhm... coach?" Another girl with dark brown hair and who appears to have had one too many spray tans asks. "How can we compete for Nationals now that we don't have enough members on the squad?"

"Good question, Snooki," Sue pops her lips, executing a smug grin before turning to face Brittany who appears more dazed and confused than a deer in the headlights could ever be.

"Blondie with the long legs!" Sue calls out and waves her arm to gesture Brittany over. Brittany quickly peeks down to her feet where the laces have been left untied and hurriedly tucks them into the soles of her sneakers before hopping up to stand.

She can feel the sets of eyes bore into the side of her face as she hesitantly makes her way to the coach's side. The pads of her feet crunch along the iced-over grass while she walks with her shoulders slouched and her eyes to the ground, feeling as if it's the first day of school all over again. She's so far out of her comfort zone that for a moment, she forgets what it feels like to be by Santana's side and feel secure as the doctor had described. Although soon she can eventually spot Coach Sylvester's red tracksuit pants in her peripheral vision and takes it as her cue to stop walking. She stands awkwardly while trying her best to cut out the whispers that can be heard amongst the group of girls as they comment on the new and unwelcome addition to the team.

"Listen up, amateurettes!" Sue announces while straightening up proudly. "This girl here is the ingredient that we've needed all year to win Nationals. A true professional in her craft, did you know she was the frontrunner to attend Princeton?"

"Uh..." Brittany whips her head up to face Sue with a panicked expression. "Th-that's not true!"

"Had been recommended," Sue clarifies and Brittany sheepishly turns her head to find the rest of the girls looking at her with envy. "Which is why I'm making her co-captain of the Cheerios along with Quinn Fabray."

"What?" Quinn shrieks before emerging through the crowd of cheerleaders, knocking a few out of her way. "B-but she just joined, you can't do that!" She pouts, frowning immensely in Brittany's direction.

"Do I hear you complaining, Quinn?" Sue raises an eyebrow and Quinn seals her lips as quickly as she opened them to make her remark.

"No..." Brittany agrees and glances over to Quinn apologetically. "I don't think... I don't think that's a very good idea, coach," Brittany bites her bottom lip and rubs the side of her temple in distress. "Quinn's right. I-I c-can't be co-captain... I don't want to," she shakes her head before dropping her gaze down to her feet to find one of her shoelaces trailing across the grass.

"You're right," Sue nods and rubs her chin deep in thought. "It's not a good idea to have two captains, it will only cause conflict. Brittany S. Pierce?" She calls out, turning to face Brittany who raises her head again who is, for once, surprised by the coach calling her by the correct name. "Well done, you are now captain of the Cheerios!" Sue smiles and pats Brittany firmly on the back over her new WMHS fleece, causing Brittany to jerk forward with a look of sheer horror. "Sorry Quinn," Sue shrugs. "Better luck next year!"

"What the hell? I'm a senior!" Quinn cries in an outrage while the rest of the girls' gasp audibly for the second time that morning.

"Oh yeah," Sue replies nonchalantly. "Must be the likes of your unfortunate baby face... makes you look twelve or something," she shrugs. "That's all for today girls, extra rehearsals after school. Hit the showers... you all smell as if an infant kitten urinated on Will Schuester's head of hair because it got the colour confused with cat litter."

With that, Sue spins around and begins marching towards the school building, leaving the girls with Brittany as they send her callous, seething glares of disapproval.

"I-I didn't mean it like that..." Brittany tries to explain but all of the girls apart from Quinn shake their heads in disbelief. "Quinn, p-please I didn't want to be captain, I don't want to be captain."

"Whatever, you can drop the innocent act now. It's embarrassing..." A different girl with black spiralling hair calls out before she begins to make her way back to the school. The other girls follow her lead and make sure to leave snide comments towards Brittany until it's only Quinn left standing with her on the field.

Quinn watches as Brittany flexes her fingers, blinks repeatedly, chews on her bottom lip and kicks her feet along the grass as she lets out all her nervous ticks. Quinn should feel angry and bitter over the fact that the coach just demoted her for a newbie who had as much confidence as a blind man on a tightrope. But for some reason, she isn't. Instead, she is fascinated. And from what Santana had told her that night in her bedroom, she knows about Brittany's anxiety and even though Quinn found her to be a little weird, seeing Brittany like this now, she can't help but feel sorry for her.

"Don't listen to 'em," Quinn shrugs just as Brittany looks up at her in confusion. Any trace of frustration has faded from Quinn's face as she now glances at Brittany with a soft, empathetic expression. "They'll eventually come around."

"I swear I didn't mean to-"

"I know," Quinn interrupts her and offers a tight-lipped smile before scrunching up her face. "Ugh, it's so weird not acting selfish for once," she grimaces but shrugs it off.

"Huh?" Brittany blinks. "What do mean?" Quinn just chuckles and shakes her head before she begins to walk.

"Doesn't matter," Quinn replies. "Let's go!"

"So you're not mad me? Even though... even though I don't want to be captain?" Brittany asks, running to keep up with Quinn's quick strides despite having the smaller legs.

"Brittany," Quinn sighs. "Do you really want me to make your life a living hell?"

"No, thank you..." Brittany shakes her head politely as she finally catches up with Quinn.

"Then don't mention it," Quinn replies with a smile although her eyes curse out every scornful word imaginable.

"Maybe you can teach me some things and in return, in return I can teach you some things too!" Brittany enthuses as they walk off together into the distance. "Like... if you're interested in astronomy, I can teach you all about-"

"Brittany?"

"Uhu?"

"No."

"Oh... okay..."

* * *

><p><em>[10 minutes earlier...]<em>

"_No, no, no, no! Ple-eease_!" Santana squeals out in horror while raking impatiently through the depths of her locker, hopping from one foot to the other in a kid-like dance. Pens rattle and chime off the walls while pages from notebooks fly past her head like airplanes as she frantically searches for the one thing she needs the most. "God damn you all, burn in hell!" She curses out, dropping her head into her backpack as she scrambles through half the shit she doesn't need to carry. Once her hand finally comes into contact with what she most anticipates, she gazes up to the roof of her locker and silently praises the lord for his kindness before whipping out a ruler with an audible sigh. Without another moment to spare, Santana raises her right arm, disguised by the bulky white cast and scrapes the ruler down between the inner side of her forearm and the plaster of the cast. She's in heaven. Finally able to relieve the itch that had been pestering her all morning, Santana throws her head back and closes her eyes in pleasure while she scratches her arm with the ruler.

"Uh... Hmm." She half giggles, half sighs while smiling merrily to herself. "Fuck me, that feels so goo-ood!" She moans out before tiredly reopening her eyes only to find Rachel and Kurt standing side by side wearing the same plaid blazer and well as the same stunned and slightly disturbed expressions on their faces. "What?" Santana squeaks innocently, throwing the ruler back into her locker before slamming the door shut.

"Brittany has been MIA all morning and we need to rehearse for Nationals, it's important," Rachel announces while turning to Kurt who nods in agreement. Santana narrows her eyes warily and straightens up before crossing her arms.

"I don't know," she shrugs. "Maybe she finally realised that she was singing show tunes with Snow White and his little dwarf and eventually got cold feet," Santana smiles down at Rachel shamelessly. "I mean, I know I would!"

"This is serious, Santana." Kurt calls out after Santana turns to walk away. "We know about the both of you, everyone knows, so if you know where she is... she hasn't shown up since she returned to school."

Santana pauses for a moment while she deciphers Kurt's words. She doesn't particularly want to be seen talking to a boy who looks more like a doll than she did and a girl who could be mistaken for the troll in the Three Billy Goats Gruff. But it's Brittany they're talking about and she doesn't particularly like what she's hearing about her either.

"So let's gets down with the brass tacks here..." Santana kinks an eyebrow as she turns back around to face Rachel and Kurt again. "Are you saying that all this time when I thought my girl was rehearsing with you twerps in Glee Club that she actually wasn't?"

"Is that what she told you?" Rachel replies with another question, causing Santana to shoot her a skeptical glare.

"Not exactly, but she would ha-"

"This always tends to happen when one climbs the oh-so-desired popularity ladder..."

Rachel, Kurt and Santana all turn their heads at once to find Jacob Ben Israel standing awkwardly in the middle of the hall, straightening his glasses and patting down his beige pants yet smiling in a way that unsettles the three of them.

"What the hell are you talking about, JewFro?" Santana grimaces just at the sight of his sloppy self and the thought of even breathing the same air as him.

"I'm talking about the fact that Brittany S. Pierce has been a Cheerio for less than two hours and she's already playing games with the three of you," he states, scratching a shaky hand through his head of dainty curls.

"Now that's the most ridiculous bunch of bullshit I've ever heard," Santana laughs while shaking her head in disbelief. "Britt would never-"

"Then maybe you don't know your girlfriend as well as you thought you did," Jacob interrupts with a sly smile. "I bet you a flash of your bra strap that she is outside on the field right now, practising the routine for Nationals."

Santana glares at him for a moment, not liking the certainty in his voice one bit before she peers over to Rachel and Kurt who look just as cynical as she feels.

"No way," she shakes her head again before marching past Jacob, making sure to nudge him on the way as she heads to the rear end of the school with Rachel, Kurt and Jacob all quickly following behind. It's almost impossible for Santana to believe, she's not sure if she even wants to believe it. However, as soon as she barges past the transparent glass doors and steps outside to gain full view of the field, her disbeliefs are diminished when she finds Brittany standing next to Sue, wearing the signature red and white uniform while the rest of the squad align in front of them.

"You've gotta be kidding me..." Santana whispers to herself when she sees her girlfriend talking with Sue on the field as she fidgets with the frills of her cheering skirt nervously.

"Face it, Lopez, your girlfriend is making her way to the top while you hover by her side," Jacob teases into her ear. "And now the scandalous lies and revelations have started, it looks like this relationship will be hanging by a very thin thread in the near future!" He grins at the deliciousness of such gossip, making sure to jot down notes into his pocket-sized pad before walking away as he chuckles sinisterly to himself.

"Great, now what are we going to do?" Rachel fusses as she flails her arms around childishly before Kurt swoops in and links her left arm with his. "She was our last hope, Kurt! No one else is going to join Glee Club... everything's ruined now!" She cries dramatically into Kurt's shoulder as they make their way back into the building. Santana stays put, training her eyes on the field while all the Cheerleaders apart from Quinn and Brittany make their way back to the sports building. There's something in that moment that stirs up an old memory where she felt similar to how she feels now. It's the feeling of sheer uncertainty.

* * *

><p><em>"Why don't you invite your friend over to Puck's party on Friday night? Introduce her to all of us," Quinn smiles, flicking her eyelids innocently.<em>

_"Uhh… No," Santana disregards the question completely. Quinn stares expectantly at Santana who sighs and lifts herself from the bench. "It's not as if she'll agree to go, she is the most socially awkward person on the planet. She wouldn't go even if you dragged her by a leash," Santana replies, nudging her way out from the core of the group._

_"So there's no other reason, no?" Quinn pries on as usual which Santana ignores and continues walking towards the school. "Because Coach Sylvester has an eye on your little friend," Quinn adds, smiling in a cocky manner when Santana stops. "And you know her patience with you is running thin."_

_Santana frowns, not wanting to believe that Sue was looking to replace her, especially for someone like Brittany._

_"You may be on top now, Santana. But for how much longer?" Quinn teases. "Imagine how twisted it would be if blondie were actually just putting on an act and then suddenly she's been swept underneath Sues arm, fucking up your chances of remaining captain on this team. I'd say step up your game..."_

_"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer," Puck interrupts as he talks slyly into Santana's ear._

* * *

><p>"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer," Puck whispers into Santana's ear and she jumps back with fright to find him glaring down at her begrudgingly. He appears different, his Mohawk which was once styled so precisely is left unkempt, dark circles fall under his eyes and stubble coats his jaw like sandpaper. Santana follows his gaze as he peers over to where Brittany and Quinn make their way back to the rest of the Cheerios together, side by side.<p>

"Y'know people think that I tried to rape that little bitch?" Puck quietly growls behind Santana before she slowly turns back to him with a stone-cold glare. "That night at Quinn's party, when she pulled that stunt," he frowns which ages him almost ten years. "People look at me like I'm a monster, Santana."

"It wasn't her fault..." Santana replies calmly, although his spiteful words against Brittany undoubtedly make her blood boil.

"It wasn't _my_ fault!" Puck spits out as Santana inches away from him. "She freaked out on me!"

"You scared her!" Santana retorts, turning her head to find that Brittany is no longer in sight.

"I kissed her!" Puck grinds his teeth with a snarl. Santana turns back to take a long look at him but the stench of liquor and cigarettes distorts any clear picture of who he once was.

"What happened to you?" Santana asks with a look of disgust. "This wasn't Brittany, this was yourself!"

"I know she wanted it, she was lying there on the grass, gazing up at the stars, practically begging for it!" Puck smiles proudly as he crosses his large arms.

"She wouldn't kiss you if her life depended on it," Santana snorts, trying to find the right time to leave despite Puck blocking the way as he towers over her.

"Face it, Santana, I always knew you were into girls. You'd stare at the pictures of naked chicks in my bedroom more than you did at me but you still _fucked_ me," Puck teases vengefully while Santana can taste the bile rise in her throat. She doesn't want to look at him anymore. She doesn't need to listen to this. "And now that your precious Brittany is on the Cheerios, she's stepped into a whole new league," Puck whispers as he levels his eyes with Santana's. "Those short skirts, bare legs, damn... Those outfits were aimed to tease but McKinley has a reputation for pleasing instead, isn't that right Santana?" Puck smirks venomously. "So you better tell everyone in this school that I didn't force no-one into nothin', otherwise Brittany won't just be spreading her legs to stretch for her cute little cheerleading routines."

Santana can feel her fingers twitch as Puck squares up to her. She can feel her nostrils flare and her teeth grind against each other while a hot surge of anger fires up her spine and around her neck. Yet, she remains silent.

"Because at the end of the day, everyone single one of those cheerleaders: gay, straight or bi have at least once begged me to fuck her. So I'll make sure Brittany isn't any exception, unless you set the school straight and tell the truth and that she's a lying conniving bitch who needs to be put in her place."

"It wasn't her fault..." Santana repeats assertively although tears threaten to form in the corners of her black angry eyes. "She didn't say anything, and I swear, if you touch her, I'll lie and say the exact opposite so everyone will look at you knowing what a poisonous rat you are... If you ever lay a hand on her," she threatens. It would have been easier if Santana just told him the truth about Brittany, but she knows that if she did, then he would certainly use it against her for his own good. So it was out of the question.

"Wrong choice, Santana." Puck sighs disappointedly, licking his lips and grinding his jaw before he begins to straighten up again, allowing Santana some space to breath. "Let the games begin!" He claps slowly, walking backwards while presenting a crooked grin on his lips. "Oh, and another thing, if you want a head start then I'd keep an eye on Quinn, 'cause she's playing too," he winks as he turns around to walk back into the school.

Santana stands frozen at the doorway, lips parted and eyes unfocused while she tries to muster up what the hell just happened. However, there is nothing. For the first time in her life, Santana Lopez, a girl who was once so sure about everything, has no idea what to do.

* * *

><p>It's the first time Santana feels nervous about approaching a cheerleader at McKinley High, although it seems as if she's not the only one. She watches from the classroom while students walk by Brittany in the halls, gazing up at her with intrigue while they make room for her to pass as if she were superior to them all. It's strange for Santana feeling like the invisible one for once, where people look through her like a glass silhouette, or yet, don't even see her at all.<p>

At the other end of the corridor, Brittany makes a quick beeline for her locker so she can hide the heat that radiates from her cheeks which are as red as her uniform. She's not used to this different kind of attention and dislikes it just as much. Yet this time, it's impossible to hide behind a thick jacket, shades and a hat.

"Give me a twirl, Miss Pierce! Girl, I'd let you cheer out my name any day!" a jock with a skin head and a football jersey calls out, making sure to check out every inch of skin on her body as he walks by her.

Hearing and seeing enough, Santana takes a deep breath and tugs on the sleeves of her black leather jacket before making her way over to her girlfriend at the lockers. Six months ago, students would have made a pathway for her but now she has to duck under swinging arms, endure being nudged from side to side and keep an extra eye out for incoming slushie attacks. When she does finally make it to Brittany's side, she is surprised that Brittany hasn't noticed her straight away but takes it as an opportunity to run her gaze up her perfectly sculpted body. Santana finds it alien to see Brittany wearing so little clothing in such a public environment and despite finding it hard not to drool over Brittany's milky, silky-smooth legs that never seem to end, she can't help but feel rather protective of her.

"Hi," she greets Brittany a little too formally. Brittany leans back, peeking from her locker to find Santana offering her a tight-lipped smile although her eyes appear tense.

Santana watches the teal colour of Brittany's eyes light up immediately from just her presence alone and it comforts her, knowing that she still has the same effect on Brittany as she had on the first day they met. Yet, as warming as it is to see Brittany react that way, Santana remains reserved.

"Hey," Brittany replies with a toothy grin before she leans down to steal a gentle kiss from Santana's lips. "I missed you this morning," she continues as she pulls away before noticing the hard look plastered across Santana's face. "Oh..." Brittany purses her lips while tilting her head to the side. "Y-you don't look so pleased to see me?"

"When were you planning on telling me about joining the Cheerios?" Santana asks, wanting to get straight to the point. Brittany takes her bottom lip between her teeth and turns back to look into her locker indifferently.

"Um... now, I guess?" Brittany shrugs while wrapping a singular tassel from her pom-poms around her index finger.

"And you didn't think about discussing it with me first?" Santana furrows her brows towards Brittany's apathy while she fidgets inside her locker.

"Nope," Brittany replies.

"Brittany," Santana crosses her arms. "I'm your girlfriend..."

"I know," Brittany smiles appreciatively before turning back to face her again. "And I'm really, really glad you are... I'm glad we're girlfriends. Are you glad?" she asks innocently, yet Santana can only close her eyes and shake her head.

"Yes, but usually when two people are in a relationship, they tend to discuss things together before making a big decision. Like what they're going to have for dinner, or what colour they want to paint their bedroom-"

"Oh, that's okay... I can talk to my Mom about all that," Brittany brushes off the sentiment, closing her locker before throwing her bag strap across her shoulders but Santana isn't giving in to Brittany's nonchalant tendencies so easily.

"Why the hell did you join the Cheerio's, Brittany? What were you thinking?" Santana bites as her patience wears thin, causing Brittany to peer down at her quizzically.

"I have to, Santana," Brittany replies quietly, taken aback by Santana's sudden forwardness. "You know what my therapist said... I have to challenge myself, I-I have to go outside of my comfort zone so... so I can-"

"And you couldn't have found any other way?" Santana's eyes desperately search Brittany's in an attempt to find any trace of doubt behind them. "Brittany, those girls could _destroy_ you. It would be like Bring It On meets those bible-bashing bitches who screwed you over a Saint Mary's,"

"B-but my therapist said-"

"To hell with what your therapist said!" Santana snaps, taking Brittany's hand greedily in hers as if she were afraid that Brittany could run away at any moment. "I just don't want to see you get hurt and for someone like you especially, I don't think joining the Cheerios is such a good idea," Santana sighs, feeling more defeated with every attempt at trying to convince Brittany to quit.

Brittany bites on her tongue as Santana's words sink in and it only takes a moment for her to sense the bitter taste.

"Some... someone like me?" Brittany asks hesitantly before breaking her gaze from Santana's while the notion of deja-vu kicks in.

"Y'know, you're not exactly like everyone else," Santana shrugs. "You're wired a little differently, so it can get tough, especially in a crowd like the Cheerios," she purses her lips as Brittany glares down at their interlaced fingers. "Maybe you should try something a little less demanding to start off like... the academic decathlon team? You know all about the stars and... cats?" Santana twists her mouth awkwardly. "Who knows, they might ask a question about fleas!" She shrugs.

"You said you were going to treat me like the others," Brittany mumbles disappointedly before wriggling her hand out of Santana's grasp. "On my first day of school, we stood right here and you told me that..." Brittany swallows as a hard line forms between her brows. "You told me that you didn't do nice and that you weren't going to treat me any differently from anyone else at this school..."

"Yeah but that's before I knew about your asperger's and your antlophobia-"

"Aphephobia," Brittany corrects her and begins shifting her weight from one foot to the other as her aggravation begins to sink in.

"Besides, that was ages ago so it doesn't really matter anymore," Santana grimaces at the though of the past, of the person she once was.

"It matters to_ me..._" Brittany responds with chagrin and it's one of the rare times Santana is able to see her outright angry. Her eyes are intense, unsmiling while holding the look of determination to prove Santana wrong, and for a girl whose facial features are usually angelical and soft, looking at her now, Santana feels almost intimidated. "I just want to get better, Santana," Brittany pleads out loud while she gazes at her girlfriend expectantly. "I hoped that you... you of all people would understand that because... that's what people in relationships are supposed to do," She shakes her head dismissively before turning around to walk away without another said word, leaving Santana to linger on, completely torn at what to do.

"Britt!" Santana calls out to her, feeling the guilt slowly inching its way into to the back of her mind when Brittany doesn't turn back around.

"Tough crowd, those damn cheerleaders..." Quinn purses her lips and raises a brow while she watches the drama unfold from behind. Santana whips her head around to find her smiling a little too close for comfort and far too vaingloriously for Santana to even appreciate her so-called "classical beauty" looks. She's leaning against the locker next to Santana's, her arms are folded and she holds her chin high while she watches Brittany taking off into the crowd. Santana only has to take one look at her before she tries to take off in the other direction. "Not so fast!" Quinn calls out, grabbing onto Santana's arm to stop her from leaving.

"What do you want, Quinn?" Santana groans while she involuntarily turns back around.

"Vote for me for Prom Queen!" Quinn shimmies excitedly before forcing a campaign leaflet into Santana's hand. Santana peers down at the crumpled up piece of paper before casting a narrow-eyed gaze towards her.

"I'd rather place my eyeballs on skewers and wave 'em around like marshmallow sticks than see you win Prom Queen," Santana replies coldly, pushing the leaflet back into Quinn's chest.

"_Meow_," Quinn purrs, cocking an eyebrow. "That's the Santana I like to see," she smiles authentically while shoving the leaflet down her bra. "Last time we spoke, you were as a wild as spending the entire weekend watching back to back episodes of Hoarders on repeat..."

Santana swallows hard when the brief memory of her crying on the edge of Quinn's bed arises in her mind. Quinn looks at her knowingly and can't help the sly smirk from curling up at the corner of her mouth. She knows everything about Brittany, but even though Quinn promised to keep her lips sealed, Santana can't help but feel a little cynical.

"If you hadn't guessed already, I was being sarcastic," Quinn adds while linking her arm through Santana's. "Walk with me."

"Ugh! Why must you torment me with your presence?" Santana sighs as she childishly scuffs her feet across the floor.

"Why must you feel the need to be a complete fun-sponge all the time?" Quinn retorts cheekily while Santana glowers at her as if what she is saying is crazy talk. "Seriously, ever since you quit the Cheerios you've become so invested in being Brittany's girlfriend that it's basically all you do! You have as much use without Brittany as tits have on a bull. It kills me to look at you and see how whipped you are!" Quinn shakes her head? despairingly and Santana can't help but smile as they walk down the school corridor.

"Nothing wrong with being in love," Santana sighs thoughtfully to which Quinn imitates a gagging motion with her hand.

"It's disgusting, besides it's not even cute anymore, you're all nice now and you're becoming more homely as the days go by. Are you even wearing any make-up today?"

"I could say the same thing about you and the growing increase in the size of your thighs..."

"See! I know you still have it in you!" Quinn jumps in Santana's way to face her again.

"Just tell me what you want, Quinn," Santana cranes her neck and leans her head against the wall which is painted with posters.

"I have a proposal for you..."

"No," Santana disagrees immediately and tries to walk away again but fails as soon as Quinn uses her arm as a barrier against the wall.

"Wait, wait, wait..." Quinn gently pushes her against the wall again. "I'll look after Brittany in the Cheerios, make sure nobody gets on her wrong side in exchange for you being my right hand man... or woman, whatever. I don't how it works in same sex relationships." "Right hand man for what?" Santana asks, a little confused. "For my campaign as Prom Queen!" Quinn claps excitedly. "Quinn, everyone knows you're going to be Prom Queen, so what does it matter?" Santana shakes her head and exhales audibly while Quinn sticks the crumpled up campaign leaflet on the wall.

"Principal Figgins stupidly introduced the write-in option for this year's prom. So it means anyone could win Prom King and Queen this year. A nomination only gives you a head start," Quinn announces before she notices a frumpy overweight girl with mousy brown hair and braces walking by her side as she gazes up to her in awe. "What the hell are you looking at, Eeyore?" Quinn barks before the girl jumps back in shock and turns to run away to class. "All I'm saying is that you and I, we were once the most badass bitches around this school. We would practically run it... and then you had to go and fall in love and become _boring!_" Quinn sighs out before stopping outside her classroom door. She turns to look at Santana who seems to be contemplating two conflicting scenarios in her head. "All I'm saying is that we can be that again, and you can have Brittany and the three of us could be epic together," she suggests and raises a brow when she finds Santana faintly smiling as she reminisces about the pairs' devilry deeds. "I know you miss it," Quinn adds before Santana glances over to her. "I know you got your _mommy_ issues and your_ daddy_ issues but take a chance, let your hair down... it's what Brittany did...You wouldn't want her to get _bored_ with you now, would you?."

"We were at each others throats all the time..." Santana narrows her eyes but takes Quinn's proposal into consideration, at least she sounds as if she has more sense than Puck.

"You liked it," Quinn teases before spinning around to skip into her class. "Think about it!" She shouts back while Santana is left riddled for thought.

"Hey Santana?" An unfamiliar voice calls out to her and when she turns to find an unfamiliar boy with black curly hair, wearing a familiar WMHS footballers jacket, holding a very familiar red berry slushie pointing in her direction - she realises that Quinn's proposal doesn't sound like such a bad idea after all...

* * *

><p>Santana drums the tips of her fingers along her desk while gazing out of the window in her biology class. There's nothing much to see since the glass is cloudy from condensation but she figures it would be more pleasant to look at than watching a bunch of greasy-skinned teenagers with pimples the size of craters roam about the class while they fill their seats.<p>

Her hair is now tied back in a wet ponytail while a pair of old, grey baggy sweats and a 'Ramones' t-shirt from the boys left over P.E kit hangs off her body. Even some of the students in the class have to do a double take to make sure that it's really her, which only adds fuel to Santana's raging fire. Her hair is still sticky from the corn syrup that was poured onto her scalp not thirty minutes ago, the clothes she wears exudes the stench of a sweaty boys locker room and her new cheerleading girlfriend has decided to give her a taste of the silent treatment for being insensitive.

Santana pouts and twists to face Brittany who glares straight to the front, just as Mr. Brown begins the day's class.

"Are you really going to ignore me?" Santana whispers, flicking through the pages of her notebook but not paying any real attention to its contents. "Look, Brittany, I'm having a really bad day. I got trampled on by a stampede of hockey players and I have to wear these dumb ass glasses because the syrup from the slushie that got tossed up in my grill burned holes my contacts..."

"That's enough, Santana!" Mr. Brown calls out from the front, causing Santana to slouch further into chair with a frown.

"Cut my hair and call me Rachel Maddow why don'tcha?" Santana mumbles under her breath while she glares out of the window once more. Brittany takes a subtle glance at her from the corner of her eye and can't help but smile when she finds Santana pouting grumpily into space with her thick, black-rimmed glasses and her scraggly bangs that fall sorrowfully in front of her eyes. Brittany tries to stifle a laugh but fails when she snorts out, interrupting the teacher as he stops mid-lecture and the majority of the class turn around to glance at her. Some looks, especially from the boys, prolong their welcome as they gawk at her legs before Brittany clears her throat uncomfortably.

"Everything all right, Miss. Pierce?" Mr. Brown asks pushing his own glasses up his nose to get a better look at the back of the class. Brittany shakes her head immediately but her cheeks burn bright pink and soon she's also got Santana's attention again who squints at her in confusion. "Then pay attention," the teacher calls out displeased.

"Yes, sir!" Brittany nods before peering back to Santana who shoots her a puzzled glance. Afraid to make another sound, Brittany turns to her notepad and begins scribbling down something quickly with her pen before ripping out the page and passing it to Santana. Santana unfolds the paper and silently reads a note to her:

_I like the way you look. __You look funny :) (Happy face)_

Santana narrows her eyes, unsure whether to take it as a compliment or not but she doesn't hesitate to bite the top off her pen to scribble down her own little note before passing it back to Brittany.

_You still pissed? Will you speak to me now? 3_

Brittany purses her lips in thought for a moment before writing her answer.

_I don't know... and no. :( (Angry face)_

Santana furrows her eyebrows and looks at her as if to say 'what kind of answer is that?' but Brittany just shrugs and smiles in a cockish way. Santana licks her lips, trying to come up with some snarky reply but before smiling for a completely different reason as she begins to jot down on the scrap of paper.

_Hey, I'm sorry. I will admit that I was a total bitch about you joining the Cheerios when I should have been reasonable with you. I'm sorry that I lashed out on you and I'm sorry that you look so hot today because really..._

Brittany patiently waits while Santana takes her time to write a lengthy reply and attempts to pick up where the class had left off, but the smug look across Santana's face plays as a distraction while Mr. Brown blabbers on about only God knows what. Finally, Santana drops the pen on her desk and bites her bottom lip excitedly, making sure to fold the note up a couple of more times than usual before sliding it across to Brittany's side of the desk. However, before Brittany can even open the note, Mr. Browns calls after them once again.

"No talking does NOT mean exchanging notes in class, girls!" The teacher confronts them as each student turns to face their direction for the second time. "And seeing that it's so important for Santana to share a message with you, Brittany, why don't you come to the front of the class and share it with us all?" The teacher suggests. "And that's not a question, that's an order," he clarifies.

"Oh hell no!" Santana curses under her breath while she shakes her head pleadingly towards the teacher. "I don't think that's necessary, sir!" She yelps out, her eyes wide with sheer terror. "She doesn't need to do that-"

"Of course she does!" Mr. Brown chuckles out. "Brittany, please make your way to the front of the class and read out what Santana just shared with you on that piece of paper..."

Brittany slowly cranes her neck and peers across to Santana who tries to hide inside the folds of her extra large t-shirt, away from the class, away from reality entirely as she mutters out nonsensical phrases of embarrassment.

"This is not happening to me!" Santana whimpers before dropping her forehead onto the desk. Left without a choice, Brittany turns her head to the front of the class again where everybody peers back at her, patiently waiting to hear what is contained in the note. She quickly glances over to Kurt who softly shakes his head in disappointment before she hesitantly pushes her chair back, letting the legs screech against the floor. She looks down to Santana once more to seek any sign of reassurance but watching Santana lightly tap her forehead against the white wooden desk seems to be the furthest thing from exactly that.

"C'mon, Brittany," The teacher hurries her from her seat. "We haven't got all day."

Brittany inhales deeply and swallows before shakily exhaling again through her nose. There she begins to pace slowly down the centre of the classroom with the crumpled up note in her hand while the heads of other students follow her. She can feel the tassels of her cheer skirt tickle her thighs and it only reminds her how much less she's actually wearing. She can see Mr. Brown squinting through his glasses, not particularly looking at her face as she draws nearer to the front of the class. In fact, most of the students aren't looking at her face at all and she starts to feel hot again at the thought of all the attention. When she reaches the teachers old pine desk in the middle of the classroom, vandalised by the initials of students' names carved into the wood, she counts the beats of her heart for a moment before turning around to face the rest of the class. Santana painfully watches from the back while hiding behind the curtain of her bangs and makes sure to cover her ears. Some of the students are completely puzzled as to what is going on yet the others can only guess judging by Santana's reaction.

"Read it please. _Aloud._" The teacher orders and Brittany stares down at her hands doubtfully. The room is so silent as everyone waits in anticipation, that only the crackling of the paper can be heard as Brittany slowly unfolds the note. She doesn't wait a second longer to look over it as she immediately begins reading out loud.

"Umm...I'm sorry. I'll admit that I was a total... bitch?" Brittany stops and turns to the teacher, unsure if she is even allowed to use that kind of language, but a silent nod from Mr. Brown encourages her to carry on.

"I'll admit that I was a total bitch about you joining the Cheerios, when I-I should have been reasonable with you..." Brittany stops to flash Santana a teasing smile that plays at the corner of her lips before continuing. "I'm sorry that I lashed out on you... uhm," she clears her throat. "That I lashed out on you and I'm sorry that you look so hot today because really..." Brittany's smile quickly fades as she begins reading the note silently to herself. "Because really..." she repeats with a hint of uncertainty present in her voice. "Umm, sir?" She bites down on her bottom lip before turning to the teacher again. "I... I don't think this is really appropriate to read out loud. Can I go sit down now? I'd like to sit down, thanks..." she trails off before attempting to make a break for it.

"Not so fast. Read the rest now or you will have a mark against your name," Mr. Brown frowns behind his thick curly brown hair.

"Do what the teacher says, read it!" The loud-mouthed football player whose name Brittany can't remember almost begs from his desk.

"That's enough, Karofsky!" The teacher warns him while Brittany silently watches Santana sink further down into her chair with a look of despair. Brittany twists her feet where she stands until they are pidgeon-toed, she always did when she feels three particular things: nerves, pressure of the bladder and unexpected arousal. Although this time she believes it could be a mixture of all three. She crinkles the paper between her fingers again before hesitantly lifting the note up to carry on reading.

"I'm sorry that I lashed out on you and I'm sorry that you look so hot today because really... because really, seeing you in that Cheerios uniform only makes me want to do so many bad things to you..." Brittany clears her throat again when it becomes unintentionally higher as she shifts her feet slightly closer together. "For example... I-I can imagine running my hand slowly up your bare thigh right now and nobody else would notice..."

She can feel not only her cheeks, but the helix from both her ears as well as the top of her chest begin to burn suddenly, her palms grow sweaty but her eyes stay trained on the paper.

"And... uhm..." She laughs nervously, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I would spread your legs a-and slide my hand right over that beautiful..." Brittany bites down on her tongue as she tries to stifle another nervous giggle. Santana watches Brittany from her desk in fear, watches the way her skin is alarmingly flushed while she stands there in the middle of the classroom letting Santana's 'poetry' sink in. Brittany flashes her another quick glance and Santana is surprised to find that her eyes are animated with some sort of dark and needy appetite.

"Are you sure you want me to carry on, sir?" Brittany asks yet keeps her eyes locked on Santana's. "It's just that there's some word in here th-that-"

"Read it!" The teacher demands and Brittany drops her gaze down to the note immediately.

"I would spread your legs and slide my hand right over that beautiful wet pussy of yours and rub you slowly at first, teasingly... Uhm..." Brittany swallows as she can feel her heart rate start to quicken. "Then gradually get quicker and quicker and quicker until you cum in my palm just as the bell begins to ring." She crosses her legs now. "Then once we are finally out of this class I will take you to the girls locker rooms, slam you up against the door and fuck you so hard in that uniform that you won't be able to walk right for days..." Brittany smacks her lips shut and almost loses her balance. Her body tingles with adrenaline although the classroom falls to a standstill; the jaws of other students hang like handmade talking puppets who are at a loss for words as they all stare at her with gouging eyes.

"Oh my god, my beautiful ears..." Kurt whispers as his palms cover each side of his quivering face.

"Anything else?" The teacher asks, his face the farthest from impressed as his thick brows stick together in an intimidating frown. Brittany raises a brow but glances down at the note nonetheless and continues to read.

"Again, I am so sorry and I hope you forgive me because I meant every word... It would be really hot too," Brittany continues to read silently again for a moment and scrunches up her nose before glancing over to Santana again in a cutesy manner. "But not just that..." she continues. "I love you, I'm yours and I always will be... Santana."

"Well then," the teacher begins while he defogs his glasses and clears his throat.

"Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss... love heart, kiss, kiss, kiss_-_"

"That's enough, Brittany..."

"But you told me to read all of it?" Brittany pouts as she crumples up the note in her hand, turning to Mr. Brown to see his hard, sour-painted face.

"Such profanity will not be tolerated inside these school walls, Miss Lopez," Mr. Brown states while shooting a disapproving glance towards Santana who hangs her head in humiliation. "Not only is it vulgar to hear but it's also very embarrassing for the recipient. How do you feel, Brittany, about this obscene sense of behaviour?" He asks, raising a brow now towards Brittany.

Brittany rolls her tongue along her teeth and casually glances down at her feet where she can see her toes flexing beneath her sneakers. She bites her lip and scratches a spot behind her ear before taking in a deep breath.

"I am totally turned on right now," she replies earnestly.

Santana's eyes widen with surprise as she watches Brittany twist her body from side to side, grinning innocently without guilt while Mr. Brown chokes on his morning latte, spurting out coffee all over his white, freshly ironed shirt.

* * *

><p>The clock strikes past another hour but the hands crawl at a dragging and unbearable tortoise-like pace. Santana's eyes are sticky with tiredness as she doses in and out of consciousness, trying to focus on the words that have been scribbled onto the lined paper in front of her. The words blur from time to time when Santana can feel her eyelids grow heavier. Exhaustion consumes her so much that it's taken her the best part of an hour to write five simple and straightforward sentences: I will not use profanity under any circumstances within the school premises. When she regains full consciousness after jumping wake in her seat again for an uncounted number of times, Santana blinks widely and rubs her eyes before glancing over to the clock that reads four. She whimpers and glares down at her punishment exercise once more, noticing how her handwriting messily trails away from the line whenever she must have dozed off. Santana always hated detention. But today she hates it for a whole different reason.<p>

She can feel her eyelids become heavy again so she distracts herself by subtly looking over her left shoulder to find Brittany sitting at the desk directly behind her. If the teachers were doing their jobs properly, then they would have had the girls separated at opposites ends of the empty classroom. However, Mr. Brown insisted to the head of sciences that these were the designated seats that both Brittany and Santana had been assigned to for when they wrote out their lines during detention. That pervert. Santana knows exactly what his intention was ever since her very informal letter to Brittany had slipped out for the whole class to hear. She knows that he wanted her to suffer.

Santana gazes back to Brittany who scribbles away down on her sheet of paper, a hard line forming between her brows as she gnaws down on her bottom lip in deep concentration. The lead of her pencil can be heard scraping and screeching against the desk, her eyes read over what has been written and repeats, over and over again while her hand moves rapidly across the sheet like a typewriter. Santana can't help but grin, she admires the way Brittany never takes anything for granted or wastes any time when there's something to be done or even complains about it. Everything that Brittany does, she does one hundred percent to her ability. It's inspiring.

It doesn't take long for Brittany to feel Santana eyes on her and immediately she can feel her attention being pulled away from her assigned exercise. She doesn't have to raise her gaze from her sheet to know that Santana is smiling at her, and like some contagious blessing, Brittany begins to smile also. Her toes automatically begin to wiggle like a puppy wagging its tail and soon the her writing on the sheet of paper no longer looks like sentences, but just plain old words. Santana bites her lip to stifle a girlish giggle while Brittany grins widely down at her desk, knowing that it isn't the punishment that she is smiling about. Santana then travels her attention to Brittany's legs where she lifts one up to slowly rub her foot down the naked calf of the other. As much as Santana disagrees about Brittany joining the Cheerios, the one thing that she does agree over is how well that tiny uniform holds onto her body. The way it demonstrates each humble curve that was once hidden by layered upon rags. Brittany's legs are Santana's favourite. Right after her eyes, her smile and just the person she is.

When Santana glances up to her again, she catches Brittany staring back while a specific memory summons back into her own mind...

* * *

><p><em>Brittany's eyes dart around, trying to keep her anxiety at bay and every time she looks for a distraction, she finds Santana. The cheerleader lies peacefully on the bench with her knees bent and Brittany can feel her cheeks turn hot when she notices that Santana's skirt has ridden up further than it should, exposing the tops of her smooth thighs.<em>

_Her eyes move up Santana's body until she catches the cheerleader looking right back. Flustered, she turns away, trying to make sense of the crumpled map in her hands and biting her lips in frustration for being lost..._

* * *

><p>Remembering that first day of school so clearly as if it were yesterday, Brittany shoots a knowing look when she catches Santana checking her out in the uniform for a second time. All Brittany has to do is raise a brow and tilt her chin for Santana's cheeks to brighten up immensely.<p>

"This is detention girls, not social studies. Face the front, Santana," an elderly teacher, with eyes the size of beads and hair as wired as a fried egg in a desert's afternoon calls from her desk at the front of the class. Santana rolls her eyes and pouts over at Brittany, receiving a silent giggle in return before she turns her head to face the front. Brittany watches Santana's shoulders slowly heave up and down while she sighs out loudly with every irritable intention. Brittany narrows her eyes and thinks back to the first moment she saw Santana in her Cheerios uniform and even the thought of it still makes her stomach tingle excitedly and as intensely as it did the first time.

Forgetting all about her punishment exercise, Brittany lets her eyes wander around the dull lit room where only the light from outside spills past the windows into the class. She notices there's still thirty minutes left of detention although she has already finished writing down her punishable one hundred repetitive sentences. She also notices that the teacher on detention duty has her tiny eyes squinting into a factual book about the periodic table and all its chemical elements while Santana's head starts to dip and rise again as she dozes off once more.

Bored, Brittany begins to fidget with the tassels of her cheer skirt, letting the fabric tickle the soft skin around the tops of her thighs that sends pleasant chills through her body. When the feeling becomes regular and eventually subsides, Brittany tries to find other ways to entertain herself, or more so, entertain Santana since she had basically been counting sheep for the last hour. After attempting to puff away golden strands of hair from her wondering eyes, then trying to guess how long a minute was without looking at the clock, Brittany eventually gives in while Santana still appears to be swimming in and out of a light sleep.

Glancing over to the teacher again to make sure that she's still immersed with her book, Brittany sneakily reaches her hand from her lap up to the inside of her Cheerios top and into her bra before she pulls out a crumpled up piece of paper. Content with knowing that Ms. Beady-eyes is completely oblivious, Brittany carefully opens up the note and flattens it out onto her desk. She takes a quick glance down at the paper where her eyes automatically fall on the words:_ I can imagine running my hand slowly up your bare thigh right now..._ Immediately, she snaps her attention away to look directly in front of her where Santana now runs a hand through her messy bun and yawns countless times at her desk. Brittany can feel her own fingers beginning to twitch while her feet slightly twist inwards and she has to take a slow, steady breath before peering down at the note once again.

_I would spread your legs and slide my hand..._

She stops again. Staring pointedly at the word 'hand' while she automatically begins trailing her own fingers along the skin of her smooth thighs. She peers up to Santana again and after a moment of thinking about it, she bites down on her bottom lip, scrunches up the note into a ball in her fist and bravely tosses it in front so it lands at Santana's feet. Then she waits.

Santana leans to her side after feeling a featherly tap against her feet and finds a familiar crumpled up note. Her eyes widen before she silently peers over to the teacher to make sure that she hadn't taken any notice. Once made sure the coast is clear, Santana carefully bends down and swipes the note from beside her left foot, pretending to itch her leg on the way and successfully takes it into her palm before leaning back into her seat. She hesitates for a moment, not wanting a repeat of what happened earlier in the day and stares at the teacher to make sure that by silently miming out every word that she reads, she is definitely engrossed by her book and nothing else can come close as a distraction. Eventually satisfied, Santana licks her lips and carefully unravels the note to find her own handwriting scribbled across the page in blue ink and immediately she can feel the heat pour in beneath her cheeks. She slides her glasses back up the bridge of her nose as if they had dropped with shock at the sight of such vocabulary before she inches her neck around once more to glance back at Brittany.

Her breath catches in her throat when she finds Brittany's eyes dead set on hers. Although now, her usual innocent demeanour has been camouflaged by a look in her eyes that only Santana can describe as mischievous. Brittany has her bottom lip between her teeth while her head rests slightly tilted to the side. The baby blues of her eyes have been painted over with playfulness, appearing dark turquoise underneath her thick lashes while she holds a brow higher than the other. She's smirking. Santana always thought there was something about the uniform that sparked some sort of confidence inside when worn and so it must have been true, that wearing the symbolic red and white fabric really did give a person superiority in every way. Especially now as Brittany cranes her neck slowly from side to side, never once peeling her eyes off Santana who is left feeling a like a nerdy freshman boy who just hit jackpot with the senior cheerleader.

Brittany's eyes are inviting, teasing and Santana can't look away. She swallows nothing but air as her eyes travel south to where Brittany rubs her palm in circles over the bare skin of her thigh, as if she were massaging a tense muscle. Knowing that she now has Santana's full attention, Brittany nudges her left foot with her right so that her legs spread out slightly while shuffles forward to the edge of her seat, allowing Santana to get a full view of the red undergarments to match the cheer uniform. Santana almost whimpers at the sheer sight of her, but stifles it by scrunching up the note in her fist instead while her own toes start to curl with anticipation. Her flustering eyes appear larger behind the thick lenses of her glasses while she tries to hide her apparent blush behind her bangs but Brittany is already one step ahead when she begins to caress the insides of her thighs with just her fingertips. Santana knows what it feels like to tease someone, she knows what kind of reaction it can evoke. Just like the game of truth or dare, Santana had Brittany with only the slightest touch of a feather. She taught Brittany well, a girl who once blushed at the mention of seduction was now seducing the seductress with even less than a feather. All Santana has to do is use her eyes and watch the way Brittany teases her own body. Everything that Brittany can feel, she can too.

Santana glances back up to Brittany whose lips are slightly parted while she breathes out softly. Her eyelids are heavier but her gaze still stays focused on Santana when she mimes the word:

"_I'm wet..._" before taking her bottom lip again in between in her teeth before smirking.

Santana tilts her own head, unsure if she even heard right but when Brittany brings her fingers up to her lips before taking her middle and index finger into her mouth, Santana has to turn around for a second and pinch herself to realise she's not imagining it. Afraid that the professor may be getting an eyeful, Santana takes a quick glance towards her direction but not long enough for the image of Brittany sucking on her fingers to be shaken from her head. Santana takes a deep breath, pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose once again and nods to herself reassuringly. She's Santana Lopez, she can handle anything.

She casually turns around again this time with a more nonchalant expression on her face in an attempt to act calm and collected. She straightens her shoulders, exhales smoothly and peers at Brittany inadvertently only to find that her eyes are now closed while her hands have found themselves back in between her legs but this time behind the red Cheerios skirt and under garments.

"Holy fuck!" Santana exclaims loudly, her eyes nearly popping out of her head when she realises where exactly Brittany's hands are and what she appears to be doing. However glorious the sight, Santana can't help but hear the sound of Puck's rusty voice telling her that "Those outfits were aimed to tease but McKinley has a reputation for pleasing instead," over and over again and she doesn't know whether to laugh or cry or to launch herself across Brittany's desk and oblige with what she set out to do in that god forsaken note.

"Miss Lopez?" The teacher calls out to her just as Brittany's eyes snap wide open. Santana gulps, knowing that she's pretty much been dropped in the shit once again and turns her focus back to Brittany's face who appears somewhat amused at Santana's delicate situation. The corners of her lips curl up into a smirk while she brings her hands back from under the desk to cross them over her chest. "Santana, can you hear me? Santana?"

"Santana?"

Santana jolts wide awake with fright, startled by the crispness of the teacher's voice that rings so closely in her ear. She squints under the intrusive light that spills into classroom which distorts well defined objects into colourful smudges. The light stings at her eyes but eventually her full sight returns allowing her to read the clock that hangs crooked on the wall. It's four twenty-five.

"Six lines under an hour and thirty minutes is just not good enough, Santana!" The teacher scowls down her nose at Santana while resting her fists on each hip disapprovingly. Santana sloppily wipes her mouth and peers downwards to find the unmarked sheet lying just as she left it before, where scribbles barely pass for words. "And I do not appreciate phrases such as 'I'm wet' and the other sexual adjectives that you mentioned, especially since you are being punished for your use of language within this school..."

Santana just nods aimlessly while the scrawny-legged teacher goes off on a tangent, blabbing on about the sinful imagery Santana has produced. Santana tries her best to keep from yawning while pretending to hang her head in shame just as she uncurls her fist to reveal the crumpled up note in her hand. She narrows her eyes in puzzlement, unsure what part of this supposed dream was real and what part was actually fantasy.

"Blasphemy!" The teacher screeches out. "And the fact that you have been sleeping for the last twenty minutes in my classroom!" The booming noise that escapes her lips doesn't match with the teacher's tiny frame as she shakes her head from side to side. "I'm sorry, Santana, but I'm going to have to write you as a cause for concern." She runs a hand through her scraggly head of hair before walking back to her desk with her cane.

Santana stares at the balled up note warily as if it only brought bad luck when opened. Even when she was dreaming it resulted in her getting a bad report in the end. She raises her brow and shoots a subtle glance over to the teacher who now glares red-faced at her computer which appears almost as old as her. The dull monitor blinks out pixels as dust erupts from the stiff keys when tapped. There's always something about getting into trouble that Santana finds humorous, the recklessness of it all excites her. And now, as she watches the ill-tempered teacher spending a minute to search for each letter before punching in the correct key with just her one finger, Santana twists her lips in an attempt to stop herself from laughing. However, after a few moments of watching and waiting in complete silence, a unexpected giggle escapes from Brittany's mouth causing Santana to then snort out uncontrollably in response. Afraid to get caught once again, Santana immediately takes the scrunched up note and shoves it in her mouth to stop herself from erupting but then grimaces at taste of wood and ink, taking a few moments to truly digest the situation.

Once calm again, she quietly shuffles around in her chair to face Brittany who rests her chin on both palms. She watches Santana contentedly as if being in detention for the first time in her life doesn't bother her because she gets to spend it with the one she loves. Santana slowly opens her mouth again and picks out the crumpled up ball of paper from her tongue. Brittany screws up her face in confusion as Santana unravels the soggy note and holds it in front of her.

"You're a bad influence," Santana whispers but Brittany shakes her head in disagreement.

"No," Brittany mouths with a slight grin. "_You_ are..."

They watch each other silently, challenging each other to see who can break first.

"Me too, by the way..." Brittany whispers and Santana narrows her eyes, trying to figure out what she exactly means by that, but when Brittany quickly glances to the sodden note in Santana's hand, she knows exactly what she means.

"I thought so," Santana replies with a smirk.

"Detention?" A flustered Grace emerges into the classroom with an exasperated frown creating dark folding lines on her forehead. Both Brittany and Santana twist their heads in synchronisation as they watch Brittany's mother storm up to them in heat. "Both of you, in the car, now!"

* * *

><p>"Never, never in my life would I imagine having to pick up my own daughter from detention, never mind the two of you!" Grace shrieks as she beats her palm off the steering wheel, sounding the horn at the car in front who crawls a mile under the limit. Santana and Brittany sit together in the back of the Jeep with tight-lipped mouths and pale faces. Getting into trouble by a teacher is entertaining, but Santana finds that getting a verbal beating by the mother of her girlfriend who has offered a roof over her head and food in her stomach arouses a different feeling altogether. "First I catch the both of you skipping school and now you're getting detention," Grace cries. "And Brittany, darling, what on God's name are you wearing?"<p>

"Oh!" Brittany's face lightens up for a moment while she pats down her red uniform. "I joined the school's cheerleading squad... they're called the Cheerios and they're cheerleaders and-and Quinn Fabray and I don't know who else yet but I'm wearing the William McKinley High School cheerleading uniform," Brittany replies with an assertive nod while Santana listens to her silently, still feeling rather dubious about the whole ordeal.

"Great, I had hoped that you may have skipped the rebellious teen stage altogether but I guess not. First you're getting into lesbian relationships, then you're skipping school and now you're getting held behind class..." Grace shakes her head while Santana frowns upon the words 'rebellious' and 'lesbian' in the same sentence.

"Detention was my fault, Mrs. Pierce," Santana announces regretfully, hanging her head sincerely this time.

"I bet it was," Grace retorts as they pull up into their driveway leaving Santana wide-eyed with surprise by Grace's reply. "Brittany, go inside and let your father know we're home," Grace tells her daughter.

"Okay," Brittany replies without question and opens the door before jumping out.

"Santana, you stay here.. we need to have a little chat," Grace continues, glancing at her through the rear-view mirror. Brittany lingers outside of the car door and blinks at her mother cautiously.

"You're not gonna take her to some remote area and leave her there, are you?" Brittany mutters out with worry, swapping concerned looks with Santana. "Because I saw on T.V once that it happened and... I'm not entirely sure why, b-but the girl got left and she had to fight off snakes and scorpions and lizards and a hungry pack of wolves and-"

"Just go inside, Brittany, we'll be right in after you," Grace reassures her with a tight lipped smile before Brittany nods and peers at Santana sadly.

"Okay," she murmurs without any more confrontation before closing the car door.

Grace rummages through her handbag for something while Santana sits in the back of her car in silence, resting the back of her hands on her lap while she watches her palms gradually become damp with sweat.

"Brittany has always been a good student, Santana," Grace starts, indirectly talking to Santana while she rakes past her keys and phone. "Even last year at Saint Mary's, she got treated like crap but still she did her best in classes."

"I know," Santana replies quietly.

"I appreciate what you have done for my daughter," She nods, finally pulling a tube of lipstick from her bag. "Never in my wildest dreams did I think that she would be able to physically interact with someone so soon." She nods, rolling the tube between her fingers. "She's like a whole different person, she's not afraid to speak her mind, she's more confident and her stammering has made a wonderful improvement... it's funny, I was so used to it that now I kinda miss it," she smiles sadly.

"Her therapist has done a great job," Santana agrees. "I remember the first time she ever sat next to me in biology," she smiles at the memory. "It was fall and still really hot outside but she was dressed as if were winter: hat, scarf, gloves, the whole thing! I thought she was crazy," she laughs out. "She was even wearing shades so I made a comment about it and she took them off... and that's when I saw her eyes for the very first time..." Her smile alters slightly when she realises the significance of that moment. "That was it," she whispers as she replays the memory in her head.

* * *

><p><em>"Uhh…" Santana mutters out, forgetting what page she was on. This was one of the few times that Brittany actually looked someone in the eye so closely for more than a few seconds and Santana was already speechless. Brittany had the most extraordinary eyes that Santana had ever seen, lost in a never ending sapphire galaxy, those eyes sparkled out a million stories, thoughts and feelings; she was hypnotised. Although feeling uncomfortable about the Santana's staring, Brittany twists her head and looks down at her desk; a speechless yet eyeful encounter wasn't uncommon for Brittany. On the other hand, Santana lags in thought before blinking as she tries to decipher what had just happened to her.<em>

* * *

><p>"That was the moment I fell in love with her, I just hadn't realised it..."<p>

It all makes sense to her now: agreeing to befriend Brittany for a bet, actually pretending to want to hang out with her because the truth is that she actually did. Santana was just too scared to admit it and so she used the bet as a cover up, she fooled herself into thinking that she couldn't care less about this girl when in fact she was consumed by her completely from one of the first moments that they met. Who was she kidding? If her group of friends asked her to violate any other random new kid she would have told them where to stick it. Yet, now it only makes everything worse when Santana realises she was willing to hurt Brittany even after she fell for her. Her heart drops, knowing that this fact will haunt her until the truth is revealed, if it ever is.

"I can't have my daughter slacking at school, Santana," Grace disregards Santana's sentiments completely while she applies the red lipstick across her bottom lip, making a weird 'o' shape with her mouth. "Like I said, I appreciate everything you've done for my daughter but I think you should start looking for an alternative place to stay if you can't reconcile with your mother," she announces boldly. Santana furrows her brows in confusion and looks at her questioningly through the rear-view mirror where Grace smacks her lips together to even the lipstick.

"I don't understand?" Santana breaths out.

"You're welcome to stay at my house, Santana. But if Brittany gets into any more trouble, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave and find a place to stay elsewhere," Grace clarifies, looking back at Santana regretfully. "I'm sorry, but think yourself lucky that I'm even allowing you to sleep in the same room as my daughter. Things would have been very different if you were a boy..."

Santana can feel a lump build in her throat and she tries to swallow it but fails. She glances around in the car, trying to find something to focus on to keep her calm but Grace's subtle jabs at her have become too much.

"But I'm not a boy, Mrs. Pierce..." Santana replies as every muscle in Santana's face hardens. "I'm a girl and so is Brittany..." She licks her lips and takes a breath before glancing back to Grace in the mirror. "This is what it's about, isn't it?" Santana asks her. "We're both girls and we're both together and you don't like it so you're trying to find any excuse for me to leave because you don't have the guts to throw me out... your heart's too kind."

Grace blinks once, twice, three times before taking in a deep breath. She cares about Santana but the idea of them being together when Grace had painted a completely different future for her daughter doesn't sit well, no matter how much she tries to accept the fact that things will never be like that.

"Brittany gets that from you, y'know?" Santana continues, her voice cracking a little as she tries to contain her disappointment. "Big heart," she whispers as she unbuckles her seatbelt before opening the car door to jump out. She gazes over to the house next door in which she grew up and it's impeccable as always. The grass has been mowed and despite it being winter, her mother has taken care of the plants that shape the yard and paint it with colours of the season with whites, blues and purples. Santana sighs and turns back to Grace who still sits in the driver's seat deep in thought. "Nobody will ever feel the same way about your daughter as I do... and I will never feel the same way for anybody else like the way I feel about your daughter. I just want you to know that," Santana confesses before making her way up the yard of the Pierce household, leaving Grace to accept the unavoidable truth.

Santana quietly opens the door of the bedroom to find Brittany waltzing around by herself across the floor, humming an unfamiliar but cheerful tune. The tassels of her skirt levitate around her legs with each twirl Brittany makes and Santana can't help but smile at how carefree she seems. She drops her bag to the floor and leans against the door with a sigh, closing it behind her.

* * *

><p>"Brittany?" Santana calls gently, stopping Brittany mid-spin as she points her gaze over to Santana who offers her a wide grin. "Come here," she flicks her index finger to summon her over. Brittany jumps on the spot before gliding over the room to meet Santana at the door. Everything about Brittany is glowing, her excitable eyes, her pink frost-kissed cheeks, her laughing smile and the warmth that radiates from her hands as she takes Santana's into hers.<p>

"Yes-ss?" Brittany beams, swinging their hands from side to side. Santana just shakes her head in awe and grins at the fact at how lucky she's got it.

"Nothing," Santana replies softly before leaning up onto the tip of her toes as she pulls Brittany in for a tender kiss. Brittany bares her teeth as she smiles against Santana's lips, pleasantly surprised by the spontaneous and romantic gesture. Santana brings her hands up to each side of Brittany's face and strokes her cheeks with her thumbs gently before slowly pulling away and watches as Brittany gradually opens her eyes again and takes a moment to focus on Santana's face. Still smiling like as if she just won a prize kiss, Brittany looks down at their feet bashfully when she catches Santana staring and notices how their toes touch just like their fingertips.

"That... that was nice," Brittany giggles as her eyes flick back up to Santana's.

"Do you have to join the Cheerios?" Santana pouts playfully as she brings her arms around Brittany's waist, playing with the hem of the skirt at the bottom of Brittany's back. "I mean, you could quit but still wear the uniform from time to time?" She grins cheekily causing Brittany to kink an eyebrow.

"I gotta do this... I gotta get myself some thicker skin," Brittany replies. "I don't mean literally because I think that's kind of impossible... but I heard Coach Sylvester talk about how having thicker skin meant being a stronger person and... and I feel I need to be like that. I feel like as if I need to get stronger for myself, and you and my family. Because I'm Brittany and I'm like the Proxima Centauri which, by the way, is a red dwarf star which are probably the smallest star groups in the universe and that's not good enough for me anymore," Brittany admits as she trails her feet across the carpet. When Santana doesn't reply, Brittany looks up to her and finds her eyes to be glassed over, as if she were living a different moment altogether. "Santana?"

"Hmm?" Santana shakes her head as she comes back down to earth and reassures Brittany with a smile and a squeeze of her hand.

"You were gone," Brittany tells her and Santana peers up to her lovingly as if to say '_I'm back_' before leaning her head against Brittany's chest.

"Just remember that even the smallest star shines the brightest..." Santana mumbles under Brittany's chin while she glances thoughtfully out of the window. Santana's old black curtains block the view into her old bedroom and for a moment she feels the small tinge of longing. "I'm... I'm gonna try and get in contact with my father again," Santana whispers moments later with a little hesitation and as soon as she does, she can feel Brittany's body stiffen underneath her grasp.

"Now?" Brittany asks.

"Yeah," Santana nods against Brittany's chest although she's not entirely sure what she's considering. "Now."

"_Really?_"

"No..." She stops nodding her head "I don't know?" Santana leans back up again with a conflicted expression.

"No?" Brittany repeats Santana with her face to match.

"No. Yes! Yes, now!" Santana nods again then quickly shakes her head to which Brittany mirrors.

"Yes?" Brittany tries to clarify.

"Yes!" Santana shrieks with Brittany quick to follow. "Do you still have that address book handy?" Santana asks a little breathlessly as she begins to shake her hands at her spontaneous need to get in touch with her father ever since her talk with Grace, startling both herself and Brittany.

"Yep! Right here!" Brittany runs over to her bedside drawer and rummages through scrap paper, prescription pills and unworn jewelry that had been stashed away before fishing out the old tattered leather book that Santana had stolen from her mother. "It's here! I got it, I got it...!" Brittany hurries back to Santana's side before slapping the book in her palm. "What are you going to saaa-ay?" Brittany asks apprehensively as she bites her nails shorter than thought possible. Santana doesn't answer, she just stares at the book as she flips the pages from back to front as if they are in slow motion before stopping at 'Abran L.' . Her heart flutters as a cold chill falls up on her spine. She breathes out shakily and retrieves her cell from her sweats pants pocket before punching in the number.

Before pressing the green key, she glances up to Brittany who appears frozen on the spot in the middle of the room with her hands intertwined in a praying motion as her lips press against her fingers. They silently watch each other with flitting eyes, exchanging unspoken words of encouragement and reassurance as if they are telling each other that whatever happens, it will be for the best. Santana nods, letting Brittany know that she's ready before tapping the call key.

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter XXIII<em>

**Hmm... some big changes coming up for Santana soon!**

**Please review! **


	24. Chapter XXIV

_**[****Author's Note]** _

_So I kinda gathering a bunch of you may be a little pissed since I practically fell off the face of the earth and didn't update in donkey's. Believe me, I'm frustrated about that too. I wish I could have updated sooner but I just didn't have the time. I've been doing a lot of travelling as a few of you already know and sometimes I go days/weeks without my laptop. As always I keep to my word when I say I haven't abandoned this fic or 50FS and I'm so pleased that this next update is finally finished. I'm actually moving to Europe on Friday and will be doing even more travelling but as I wont be surrounded by family and friends, I might have some more time to myself. _

_AND because it's been so long, I thought it would be only fair to give you a quick-fire recap from chapters 1 to 23 to help refresh your memories... So here we go! (Or you can just scroll down past the bolded text)._

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><p><strong><em>Brittany Pierce has a condition called Asperger's Syndrome. On the autism spectrum, her train of thought runs a little differently from everyone else's and because of this, Brittany is introvert and only tends to keep to herself, she avoids confrontation at all costs. Another reason why she's like this is because she also suffers from Aphephobia - a rare condition which means she has a phobia of being touched. <em>**

**_After trauma struck at her previous school where she was bullied and harassed by her school peers, Brittany and her family travel from Arizona to Ohio where they move next door to the Lopez residence. Santana Lopez is confident, cocky, extrovert and strives to be the best even if it means getting her hands dirty - everything that Brittany is not. Santana's father, Abran left when she was just a child without explanation and it has affected her more than she likes to admit.  
><em>**

**_As soon as Brittany and Santana meet they clash right away. Santana doesn't understand Brittany's personality, the way she dresses, the way she talks, she doesn't understand her at all. She finds her a bit too ridiculous to actually come across as sincere and when she finds out that Sue Sylvester, the cheer-leading coach has approached Brittany to join the squad on numerous occasions, Santana becomes increasingly jealous and intimidated. She believes Brittany is putting on an act so she can snake her way into Cheerio territory and steal Santana's crown. She makes a pact with her friends from the squad and the football team to befriend Brittany and get a little insight to her life, so when Brittany does drop the innocent act, Santana will tear her down even harder. _**

**_The more they spend time together, the increasingly agitated Santana becomes with Brittany until one night Brittany has a break down before a party they were meant to attend. That night instead of going to the party, Santana and Brittany spend some real quality time together. Santana takes her to an isolated lake behind the forest where they live and here Brittany tells Santana the truth about her condition. Why she has an obsession with stars, why she wears gloves inside and anything else to cover up as much skin as possible and why she finds it difficult to get one clean sentence out without stuttering._**

**_Santana begins to panic, she doesn't want anyone knowing about the overtime she's been spending with Brittany but can't help wanting to be around her more now she knows the truth. They do spend more time together and Santana realises that for the first time in a long time she's actually having fun even though her friends or mother would never approve. Despite this, their secret friendship evolves quickly and Santana makes a promise to Brittany to help her try and get better. The part about befriending Brittany for a bet Santana leaves out, worried that with Brittany's condition, it'll do lot more damage than anticipated._**

**_During a game of truth and dare, Santana tests Brittany's limits with a single feather after realising Brittany has never been seduced before. The game is successful and she too gets more from what she bargained for when she realises that it's not just attraction, but she has feelings for Brittany as well. People are getting suspicious, Santana is missing cheer-leading practice, she's staying away from home, her best friend Quinn hasn't heard from her and Santana's lies seem less convincing and so ultimately she clashes with them both, leaving her nowhere to turn to except from Brittany who's willing to come out of her shell for Santana. _**

**_After agreeing for a second time to go with Santana to one of Puck's infamous parties, Brittany gets drunk and loses Santana who is being interrogated by Quinn. Brittany finds herself in the presence of Puck who takes a quick liking to her yet that's short-lived after he tries to kiss her, sending Brittany into hysterics. Santana is right beside her and protects her from Puck and everyone else who crowds around the drama that unfolds. At this point she doesn't care who's talking about her because that night she realises she's in love with Brittany and she admits it to her. _**

**_Santana is quick to become and outsider and she even gives up the Cheerio's. She finds it hard, but she has Brittany. Brittany is reunited with her father who returns wounded from the military but is happy to see him nonetheless. This makes Santana question her father's disappearance and so she questions her mother about him, asking where he is. She begins to question many things and after a intimate night with Brittany she even questions Brittany's feelings for her and is disappointed to realise the likelihood of Brittany even being capable of feeling the same way is little. _**

**_Santana begins trying to get Brittany more exposed to the outside world, she wants more than anything for Brittany to tell her she loves her and to mean it. She convinces Brittany to join and sing in front of the Glee club, they talk about speaking to a therapist and even Santana makes appointments with Emma Pillsbury, the school councillor so she can talk about her own problems at home with her mother. Just as things start to look up again, Santana's mother, who is running for town mayor spots Santana and Brittany together out of school along with her colleagues. It ends in a tearful confrontation between Santana, Brittany and Anita where it is revealed they are together. With Anita's job and reputation on the line, she tells Santana that she is not longer her daughter. _**

**_Brittany promises to help Santana the way she helped her and so agrees to seek therapy from a doctor as does Santana seek help from Emma. Even at school Brittany begins speaking more openly with Quinn who is more than happy to take her under her wing since she doesn't trust her in the slightest and when Santana notices, she decides to come clean with Quinn, explaining about Brittany's condition and admits she's in love with her. After a eye-opening session with her doctor, Brittany discovers that she too is in fact in love with Santana for real. Their relationship is becoming more intimate, they crave things they can't have and it becomes frustrating for both._**

**_Even though Santana has been banned from entering her mother's house, the mystery of her father disappearing still bothers her and Brittany convinces Santana to creep into own her bedroom by climbing the oak tree that stands between each house. Despite being afraid of heights, Santana does this anyway and manages to collect an old address book Anita had kept. However Santana ends up slipping on the tree and falling to the ground, breaking her wrist and a few ribs on Christmas day. _**

**_At new years everything changes again but this time for the better. Brittany and Santana sneak away to the lake just in time for the midnight fireworks where Brittany confesses she loves Santana and means it, despite her Asperger's and despite her aphephobia, Brittany rubs away a snowflake that falls on Santana's nose. They share their first kiss at the lake and it's a first for many things when the duo take it back to Brittany's house so it's unfortunate when Brittany's mom, Grace walks in on them the next morning. It's a lot to take for Brittany's parents, especially when they discover that Brittany is still not able to touch anyone else but a girl she's known for 6 months, and then for them to be an item._**

**_Brittany continues her therapy sessions although is distraught find out that her physical relationship with Santana may be short lived. Her doctor explains that she has an altered mental state, she wants to touch Santana so badly that she can, but the chances of relapsing are very high and almost unavoidable every time. He convinces her to venture out of her comfort zone and try new things since since Santana is her only source of comfort. She's distraught but determined to change that so she agrees to join the Cheerio's after being hounded by Sue again. _**

**_Santana is not happy about her joining the squad, but she wont stop her. Quinn is ecstatic and tries to convince Santana to rejoin before Nationals. Puck's reputation is in shambles because of Brittany's outburst at his party and has his eyes set on her - Santana is worried about the truth being revealed, that their relationship started off as a lie. Brittany and Santana, despite having many bumps in the road, still know how to have a little fun which results in them getting detention at school. Grace is not happy and certainly not happy about the way Santana is influencing her daughter. She warns Santana that they can't get into any more trouble or else she's out of the house. Santana realises that if that is the case then she will have nowhere to go so in the last minute she decides to flick through her mom's old address book and finds her father's number. _**

**_That took longer than I thought... Enjoy! _**

_**_CHAPTER XXIV (WARNING: SMUT)_**_

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><p>Five, ten, fifteen seconds pass and all Santana can hear is the sound of her heart ricocheting against her chest, painfully so. She shuts her dark, solemn eyes and slowly exhales, clearing her mind completely while she prepares for the long-awaited '<em><em>hello'<em>__._

She'd wait a lifetime and it still wouldn't be long enough.

"__Hello?___"_

At the other end of the bedroom, all Brittany can do is stand and wait restlessly, shifting her weight from one foot to the other with her fists balled up at her sides. She hoped for so long that Santana would be able to find peace with her father. Deep down, she trusts that Santana's father is a man of honour who loves his daughter and would jump at the chance to see her again despite what Santana has been brought up to believe. Brittany would listen to Santana's stories religiously and always thought the tale of her father's sudden disappearance was to be somewhat sceptical, although she could never seem to justify her reasoning apart from the conclusion that if Anita were able to drive Santana away, then would it have been any different for him?

Brittany watches while Santana breathes through trembling lips with her eyes squeezed shut and her fingers grasping tightly around the phone which she holds to her ear. They both stand solitary at opposing ends of the bedroom, the air is thick between them despite it being one of the more bitter days of the winter. It's unbearable and Brittany momentarily glances outside her window to find the sunset resting upon the horizon. The twilight of the night which bleeds purple penetrates the pink sky as the sun deems its last farewell. Brittany's eyes begin to strain under the light and she can't help but feel rather sad, as if the departing sun is telling her that something is about to come to an end, something significant in her life, or in Santana's, or both. Brittany doesn't want the sun to set and for the first time, she fears for the darkness to come.

When Brittany turns her attention back to Santana, she's taken aback by the alarming expression that has spread across Santana's face.

"_H___ello!___?"_ Santana squeaks as she tucks her raven-coloured hair behind her ears. Her stance is of a statue and only her eyes, bright yet weary, dash from side to side while Brittany nervously watches on, biting her nails down to the beds. For a split-second, Santana peers across the room over to Brittany and it's the most terrified she's ever looked. It's too much for Brittany to stand and back out the window she focuses her attention. She prays for tomorrow already because the in-between was starting to give her great anxiety and this wasn't even_ her_ father.

"Hi…" Santana breathes out shakily. "Um… I-I was wondering if a Mr Lopez lived here? I mean, is he available to talk?"

Brittany can feel a lump starting to form in the back of her throat while she trails her hands down the front of her Cheerio's uniform, wiping the sweat from her palms. She focuses on the condensation that begins fogging up her window, the small droplets creating patterns as they fall.

"NO! _No… _I'm not looking to sell anything, please!" Santana begs, abruptly shaking her head. "My name is Santana! Santana Lopez and I'm looking to speak to my father, Abran Lopez. This number comes under his name. __Please…___" _Santana pleads desperately into the phone, the vibrato in her voice quivering with every syllable.

Brittany squeezes her eyes shut, silently praying for the next few words that escape Santana's lips to be positive; just anything that can give Santana the tiniest ray of hope she needs.

Santana however says nothing.

Minutes pass and Brittany tries to fight from opening her eyes, afraid to see the expression on Santana's face or even worse, a look of no expression at all. Yet an icy chill betrays her which swims beneath her skin, causing her eyes to flutter open again while the tiny hairs on the back of her arms and neck shoot up.

Surprisingly she finds Santana, too, gazing out of the window towards the departing sun. Brittany wants to see her face now, she wants to know if Santana is all right but before another thought can cross her muddled up mind, Santana disconnects the call and slowly brings the phone down to her side, keeping her back to Brittany while they both stay silent…

"You ended the call?" Brittany asks in confusion, raising her hand to scratch the back of her scalp. Her high ponytail was beginning to hurt.

"He's not there any more," Santana replies casually. Her voice is calm while she focuses on a broken branch outside that had got caught between two others.

"Where did he go?" Brittany questions her. "Did he move out?"

Santana closes her eyes and leans her head against the wooden panel of the white-painted window frame with a deep sigh. When she doesn't reply, Brittany starts to stray around the room, lifting inanimate objects and inspects them nonchalantly to distract her from the uncomfortable silence.

"He's gone," Santana whispers and as soon as the words escape her lips, she can feel a pair of invisible hands clenching around her throat as if she's being strangled. "And he's not coming back." The hands belong to the arms of the harsh reality that Santana, since she was a little girl, had been afraid of - and now she was stuck right in between them, unable to breath. However on this occasion she isn't alone and it only takes Brittany a few seconds to reach Santana where she wraps her own arms around Santana's shoulders.

"Well then we can find him together," Brittany breathes warm air into the crook of Santana's neck, offering a soft squeeze. Santana stands unresponsive, her eyes follow the broken branch that falls to the ground with the help from the crippling wind outside. The damage is done and now Santana can do nothing but take Brittany by her wrists and unravel her arms, unlocking their bodies.

"I..." Santana croaks with uncertainty, turning to face her one saviour. Her thumbs lightly graze over the insides of Brittany's wrists when she looks up at her apologetically, her sinking eyes bland and broken. "I have to go," Santana whispers, unable to look at Brittany for too long without the threat of tears forming in her eyes and so she drops Brittany's hands immediately. Brittany blinks and furrows her eyebrows in confusion.

"Go where?" Brittany tilts her head. "Can I come?"

"No." Santana replies, assertive, before taking in a deep breath. She looks at Brittany once again with a slight guard. Brittany can tell by the way Santana tilts her chin upwards, she can see how dangerously black her eyes have become as if something dark is stirring up inside her, something that cannot kept contained for long. "I gotta go," Santana grunts and slips past Brittany before she's convinced otherwise.

"Where? When will you be back? What happened with your Dad?" Brittany starts a sea of questions with the hope to get at least one answer but when she turns around to face her, she finds that Santana is already alone.

Brittany stands in the middle of her room, staring at her slightly a-jar bedroom door without a sound to follow the creaks from the hinges.

"_Oh..._" She mumbles to herself, stepping back until she hits the edge of her mattress. "Hmm," she sighs and falls back until she's staring up at her ceiling.

Brittany concludes there that her bedroom ceiling is nothing spectacular without the stars that glow overhead when the lights are turned off.

Her day was exhausting, Santana had been exhausting and all that Brittany wants to do now is to shut everything off just like the day that had finally disappeared.

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><p>Brittany wakes up to the smell of burning so intrusive that it violently drags her out of her sleepy haven and into the school halls of McKinley High. She shoots straight up, clutching at her throat in panic while she fearfully eyes the dark corridor around her. It's night and there's not an ounce of life except from her own panicking state.<p>

"Santana!" She tries to shout out but her voice is shot completely.

She tries again.

And again...

No one can hear her silent cries and it doesn't take long for her to realise that she is completely alone and miles outside her comfort zone. Her surroundings are unbearably hot and she can feel the sweat slowly drip down from her temple to her jaw. She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand before she struggles to her feet. The air is thick and it's difficult to stand up and she fears if she takes a step she'll be dragged back down to the ground again. The walls are too far to reach so she counts baby-steps, shuffling her feet one in front of the other, feeling as if weights are chained to her ankles.

"SANTANA!" Brittany cries out desperately yet still no sound escapes her lips. She's shouting, she's screaming, she can feel the vibrations drumming in her chest, she can feel her throat tighten and ache because it's the hardest she's ever screamed. "Mom... _Dad?_"she whimpers.

"Brittany?" A calming voice calls from the darkest corner of the corridor and immediately Brittany seeks comfort in it. Santana's voice is so crisp, so clear that Brittany's legs start to work harder. Her pace speeds with urgency as she stumbles down the isolated hall. The burning which initially awoke Brittany returns and she has to cover her face from the smog which invades her lungs, leaving her very little room to breathe.

"Brittany, it's okay, just keep going," Santana's voice consoles her while she squeezes her eyes shut, blowing out her cheeks as she powers through the thick black smoke making sure she doesn't breathe any more of the poison in. Only her sense of touch can guide her through the never-ending trail of doubt. She sticks out an arm and feels around for anything to hold on to but she's loosing her breath and she needs out soon before the smoke consumes her body completely. In one last attempt, she leaps as far forward as she can and in the midst of the darkness she grabs on to the arms of someone else. Still blinded by the smoke that impales her vision, she falls into the arms of the catcher.

Once the air clears and her tears have been wiped away from the soft thumbs of a stranger, Brittany blinks repeatedly to find she's back lying down on a bed, yet not the bed she's used to sleeping in each night in her own bedroom. The sheets smell of damp and are dusted with ashes. The sweat from her body makes the comforter stick to her skin and it doesn't take long for Brittany to start panicking again.

"Shh, it's okay, you just had a bad dream, that's all..." Santana whispers softly however isn't anywhere to be seen. The imprints of her thumbs linger on the insides of Brittany's wrists where she draws small circles.

"Wh... where am I?" Brittany mutters out in a daze, struggling to twist her body in an attempt to gather a better look of her surroundings. "Santana?" She chokes down in confusion, unable to raise or turn her head.

"Sleep paralysis _sucks..._" Santana sighs with very little empathy in her voice. "I couldn't imagine feeling _smothered_ by some superior force, especially when there's nothing you can do about it except from lie there, in complete darkness and endure all the little things that go bump in the night..."

"Santana," Brittany whimpers, "What are you doing?"

"_Nothing!"_Santana chuckles out in a sinister tone. "You know I'd never hurt you, right?" She asks before trailing her fingers from Brittany's wrists down to her thighs were the circles she traces get bigger. Blind by the night, Brittany shudders under Santana's icy touch, leaving her completely powerless.  
>"Hmm," Brittany pants, squeezing her eyes shut under the strain of the invisible force. "You never told me where you went. Where did you go?"<p>

"_Nowhere," _Santana whispers seductively into Brittany's ear before gently nibbling her lobe. Brittany's lips turn upwards before a quiet giggle escapes her own lips.

"That tickles," Brittany murmurs and slowly she can feel herself beginning to take control of her body again. Small electrical currents spark beneath her palms like static when she finds Santana's hands now resting up on her chest. She takes them and entwines their fingers while Santana continues to tease around Brittany's ear with her mouth.

"Mmm," Santana smiles into the crook of Brittany's neck before leaving a light kiss to which Brittany responds by grazing her teeth along the soft wet skin of her own lower lip.

"You always bring me back," Brittany sighs while wrapping her arms around Santana's frame, holding on to her tightly. Her eyes flicker open and she finds Santana gazing down on her from directly above. Her eyes are warm; they light up with love and Brittany can now finally relax. It's silly for Brittany to doubt anything in that moment. She had a nightmare but Santana once again brought her back to reality.

Santana smiles and runs a hand through Brittany's light-golden hair, untangling the tugs effortlessly like a silk ribbon.

"Sweet, _sweet_ Brittany," Santana beams as if she's in the hands of an angel. "Just remember that I will always love you more than life itself, even though I won't always be here," she shrugs, her once unfaltering smile of affection dwindling at the mention of separation.

"What do you mean?" Brittany frowns as she takes Santana's face gently into her hands. Santana eyes soar into Brittany's with bittersweet intensity. Pain riles up behind the darkness in Santana's however the light of hope still caramelises her gaze.

"You know I never wanted to hurt you," Santana replies shakily, her voice echoing further and further away until Brittany finds herself sitting up in her own bed alone. She's shivering with nothing but a rag to keep her warm. Confused, she glances around the room which is left just the way it was before she fell asleep: without Santana.

Still trying to decipher from reality and imagination, Brittany rubs her eyes tiredly when a soft tap at her bedroom door invades the night's silence. Brittany stops immediately and turns her head to face the person at the other side, her heart skipping to the thought of it being Santana.

"Santana?" She asks hopefully, a smile verging on the corners of her lips.

The door quietly clicks and creeks open before a silhouette of a female's head peers in.

"Nope, just your cranky ole' mom," Grace whispers and stretches her hand to turn on the light. As she does, Brittany shields her face as the light intrudes her vision. "Oops, sorry!" Grace winces apologetically. "Can I come in?"

"It's okay..." Brittany mumbles while she adjusts to her new sights. "I suppose."

"Oh Brittany, you haven't changed yet?!" Grace sighs as she examines her daughter's appearance, shaking her head in disapproval. Hair spits out in all directions from Brittany's ruffled bun while a pillow crease imprints a pattern on the left side of her cheek making it appear as if she's scarred – only the baby blue in her eyes can compensate for such a disastrous state.

"Oh..." Brittany yawns and looks down herself to find the red cheer uniform creased and slightly out-of-place on her body. She doesn't really care. "Is... did you see Santana? Is she back?" She replies, still groggy from sleep.

"Don't worry about her," Grace closes her eyes and holds up her palm towards Brittany to gesture silence. "She told me she's next door trying to work things out with her mother," she offers her daughter a tight-lipped smile before turning her attention to Brittany's room, raising a brow at the sight of clothes scattered across the floor. "It's probably for the best..." Grace shrugs before she bends to pick up a pair of Jean shorts and a polka-dot cardigan.

"I... I don't understand?" Brittany shakes her head in confusion. "She doesn't want to talk to_ her..._""

"Of course she does, Brittany. She's her _mother,_" Grace chirps while placing the now neatly folded pile of clothes on Brittany's dresser. "Kids fight with their parents all the time, some get kicked out for a while and some may not speak for a very _very_ long time, if ever." Grace informs her daughter before leaning down to sit on the edge of Brittany's bed. "Santana's a bright girl, she knows what she needs to do," Grace smiles again but to Brittany she looks insincere. It's as if something is not being said, the pieces of the puzzle just don't fit. "Your father's leg has healed quickly..." Grace changes the subject and soon the spark in her eyes dull out completely. "Incredibly so."

Brittany watches her mother as she struggles to come to terms with the reality of her statement.

"You're smiling but you look sad. Why?" Brittany asks softly.

Grace however chooses to avoid answering her daughter's question and instead she distracts herself by turning her attention to a photo frame standing on Brittany's bedside table. The frame is decorated in glittering sequins with white frosting around the edges. Shaped like a snowflake, Brittany and Santana's glowing faces are in the centre of it. Their noses glow red from the cold yet they appear snuggled under their matching pinstripe hat and scarf which Grace had bought them for Christmas. Brittany is kissing the side of Santana's head who is playfully pouting, appearing disgusted by her girlfriend's romantic gesture. However both of their eyes - with their ever contrasting colours - gleam with irrevocable happiness. Grace doesn't like what she said to Santana, she doesn't want to be _that_ person and Brittany is the happiest she has ever witnessed her to be and to take that away... Grace can't stomach it.

"Honey, your father's been reported back for duty," Grace eventually announces, dropping her head with regret. "He leaves this weekend."

Brittany doesn't respond straight away, she's heard this news many times before but has never been able to mentally prepare for the consequences that she dares consider.

"For how long? Brittany whispers after a crippling moment of silence but she already knows the answer.

"You know I can't tell you that, sweetie," Grace replies strong-willed for her daughter, despite however close she is to the brink of tears. She wants so much to take Brittany's hand in comfort, or brush her blond flowing hair away from her eyes but she can't.

Brittany knows, she always knew that he will someday return into the hands of conflict. No longer safe, no longer in the arms of his loved ones.

"But your father's strong, you know he'll be just fine," Grace rubs Brittany's feet - still covered by her white cotton socks to offer comfort in the only way she can. "He's a tough one," she smiles sadly, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye before she runs a hand through her perfectly cropped, strawberry blonde hair. Brittany remains silent until her mother eventually comes around again. She always hated seeing her mother cry because there was never anything that she could say or do to return that comfort and tonight was no exception.

She's helpless.

"Anyway," Grace eventually clears her throat and raises her chin, wiping away the tears she never wishes her daughter to see. "It would be really nice for your father if you avoid getting into any more... _trouble_," she sniffles. "I had words with Santana as well and blatantly both of your behaviour has been unacceptable and it has to stop right now. Okay?" Grace swallows with difficulty. "Your biology teacher, Mr Brown had some very upsetting things to say about what you and Santana were doing-"

"But I didn't do anything!" Brittany retorts in defence. Straightening her back while she becomes irate and clenches her jaw in frustration. "Mr Brown asked me a question and I responded to it truthfully. I got detention for telling the truth." She glowers, folding her arms.

"I understand, baby..." Grace nods and closes her eyes . "I know it's hard but just try and think about what you're saying before you say it. We all have to learn that lesson."

"I did. Long and hard," Brittany pouts.

"Well think of the impact it may have on somebody else," Grace replies as she opens her eyes to gaze down at Brittany thoughtfully. "If someone made fun of you because of your Asperger's, would it hurt your feelings?"

Brittany nods.

"Would you call someone out for having the same condition, even if they are ashamed of it, because it's true and you're just being honest?"

Brittany waits for a moment before she reluctantly shakes her head.

"Why not?" Grace quizzes her with narrowed eyes.

Brittany sinks a little into her mattress, her eyes wander around her bedroom, glazed under the command of exhaustion.

"Because I wouldn't want them to feel the way I've been made to feel," She replies sincerely to which Grace nods and smiles.

"See, sometimes the truth hurts so we learn to contain it. Some people learn to deal with it and some people even accept it. Sometimes the truth is better out and there's nothing to be ashamed of. But for a lot of people, usually the ones who are the victims, a lot of the time they end up hurt. Now you wouldn't wish that up on anyone, would you?"

Brittany shakes her head again, her lips twisting from side to side.

"So all I ask is that you think of what you're saying before you say it because some people may be offended. Think about how they may feel. Just try, okay?"

Brittany nods in silence.

"_Now,_" Grace sighs a little less forgivingly this time. "Skipping school and talking back to teachers does _not_ get you anywhere and I know Santana has had a bit of an influence on you recently, but I need you to get your head down and get on with your work. It's your senior year and it's the most important one. You'll be applying for college's before you know it so don't get lost in Wonderland, okay?"

"Wonderland isn't real, mom," Brittany yawns tiredly.

"Exactly. And as your father goes, it would really upset him if he found out you were getting into more trouble, especially before he has to leave so I won't mention this little incident to him, as long as you stick by your word and it doesn't happen again. You hear me?"

Brittany rolls her eyes, still pissed by Santana's sudden disappearance but she sighs in defeat nonetheless, this time for her father.

"I promise never to express how turned on I am by Santana's sexually descriptive love-apology letters in class again, especially when my teacher asks how it makes me feel knowing that I have this condition callled Asperger's syndrome which limits the filter in my conscience when it comes to honesty." Brittany takes a deep breath and then continues. "You see, most people have a mental sieve in their head which can easily be used to purify water if we are speaking in figurative terms because we all know it would be literally impossible of course, where as I have a broken tennis racket with strings poppin' out in all sorts of directions and if you were to drink water from _my_ brain then you will most likely catch typhoid fever..." Brittany quickly inhales through her nose, her cheeks slightly turning pink before she exhales again through her mouth.

"Good," Grace nods, offering a slightly confused smile as she leans forward and on to her feet. She turns before blowing a kiss which Brittany catches and holds to her heart. "I love you, kid."

"I love you too, Mom," Brittany replies through a tired grin.

"We'll do something at the weekend before he goes!" Grace announces before making her way over to the bedroom door. She turns around once more to find Brittany now propped up on her shoulders with a concerned expression painted across her face.

"Mom?" Brittany asks. "Will _you_ be okay?"

"As long as I have you" Grace takes in a deep breath, "Then I know the world will carry on spinning."

Brittany watches her mother standing in the door way; a figure she only wishes herself will become half of one day.

"Oh and by the way, Santana said she'll be back later so I've left the front door unlocked," Grace smiles. "But don't wait up too long for her, it's late." She winks before switching the main light off and gently closes the door behind her. _"And get out of that cheer uniform!"_

Brittany listens to her mothers footsteps fade as she makes her way across the hall. Now she sits in complete darkness, haunted by the unearthly shadows that take advantage of her vulnerable state of solitude. She fumbles with the fabric of her uniform, trying to decide whether to wait or call it a night and look forward to the brand new tomorrow.

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><p>The problem with Brittany is that she doesn't know how long <em>too<em> long is and she eventually finds herself wrapped up for a very long night ahead indeed.

She sits lumped in the middle of her porch, barely peeking out of a spare duvet the family keeps in their laundry room while she waits for Santana's return. She sips on a mug of hot coco, blowing away the fresh steam while counting ridiculous numbers in her head out of sheer boredom. When Santana said that she wanted to get in touch with her father, spending the evening with her mother was the last thing Brittany had in mind. Yet she waits out in the frost with nothing but the breeze for company.

Santana's father is gone and soon Brittany's own would be too, as much as she hates admitting it to herself. James dipped in and out of her life and when he was out, to Brittany, he wasn't fighting in any war, he wasn't anywhere. For Brittany, he only exists when he's home. For her, the alternative of him being out there alone, being in danger with his life at risk - it was too unbearable to even think about, so Brittany refuses to believe it at all.

"Brittany?" A voice – delicate like an antique ready to shatter at any moment calls out from the path leading out to the yard. Brittany immediately turns in the direction and find Santana standing at the foot of the path, still dressed in her grey baggy sweats and the Ramones t-shirt she had on earlier that day, her face disguised by the darkness.

"Santana," Brittany snivels, wiping her nose in surprise before standing up, allowing the duvet to drop off her body, revealing her night attire of female boxer briefs with ducks dotted over the fabric and a plain white strap top.

"Brittany what are you doing out here?" Santana shudders in the cold, wrapping her arms across her chest for her own extra insulation.

"Santana," Brittany frowns at her girlfriend's fragile state, appearing porcelain under the moonlight as if she's nothing but a spirit's shadow. "My mom said you were next door?"

"I was," Santana replies stiffly trying desperately to keep herself contained, she takes a hand to her throat and rubs away the invisible lump. Brittany's looks at her with frustration, scanning her body before her eyes immediately widen with horror

"Your arm!" Brittany exclaims, skipping over the porch steps without hesitation, she runs down the icy path bare-footed without any intention of stopping until she's by Santana's side, all agitation towards her girlfriend forgotten. She'll save that for later. Underestimating the power she holds, Brittany slides on the ice and crashes into Santana. Luckily she wraps her arms around Santana's body in time and leans back to stop them from falling. Once convinced they aren't falling, Santana cowers into Brittany's towering frame, trying to consume as much heat from her body as possible.

"What did you do? What... What did you _do?!_ Where did you go Santana?" Brittany grounds her teeth, angry at herself for allowing Santana to venture out on her own but holds her as tight as possible, not wanting to let go.

She's ice-cold.

When Brittany does pull back, she takes Santana's broken wrist in her hands where blood stains the tattered and torn cast. Raw grazes scar her right arm just where the plaster meets her elbow.

"It's _irritating_ me so badly," Santana grimaces without being asked about it. "I just need to itch my arm and I can't get the fucking thing off!" She growls in annoyance.

"Santana..." Brittany tries to hush her but it's no good, Santana's patience has long diminished.

"No you don't understand, I need to get this off..." Santana hisses as she begins to scratch frantically at the plaster. "I just want it gone, I need to get it off Brittany..." She cries, glancing up at Brittany with tears blinding her sight, her face of a broken picture.

"I-I don't know how" Brittany whispers hopelessly, taking a step back as Santana violently claws at her skin like a flea-ridden feral cat. "You need to come inside, where it's warm." She can only suggest.

"It's fine I don't feel anything," Santana snaps, but without any further success, she eventually drops both arms to her side in defeat.

They stand there for a few minutes while Brittany allows Santana to take some time. Always in this same spot, in this yard, it's where both girls can let go of their guard completely.

"He's gone... Brittany," Santana whispers, her bottom jaw trembling. "He's gone and he's not coming back." Her words spill like toxic on her tongue and it's a stab to her heart as soon as she says it, or more so, comes to terms with it.

Brittany can't stand and watch Santana like this for much longer so she turns her back and begins to walk up the path before returning with the duvet, throwing the double duck-feathered quilt around the two of them as they huddle together under the frosty night. Swallowed by clothes many sizes too big, Santana appears child-like as she grips onto Brittany with no intention of letting go any time soon.

It doesn't take long until Brittany feels Santana finally begin to relax as a cocoon of warmth surrounds them. Santana loosens her grip from Brittany's top before wrapping her arms around Brittany's waist, inching them that little bit closer together.

"_Thank you,_" Santana whispers into Brittany's chest without saying anything more. Brittany nods before planting a gentle kiss on the top of Santana's head, stroking her hair with her fingers.

* * *

><p>After complaining that she can no longer feel her feet, Brittany suggests it's best to move back inside and soon they find themselves in the top floor bathroom. Santana sits crossed-legged on the toilet seat while Brittany patiently snips through Santana's cast with a pair of nail scissors, occasionally yawning to herself as the night progresses into the early hours of the morning.<p>

"So I've watched a couple of TV shows where one character is trying to console the other character who is inconsolable because tragedy struck and they're going through a really sucky time right?" Brittany begins to explain while she wedges the scissors deep into the plaster. "And the character doing the comforting asks the somewhat inconsolable character: _'do you wanna talk about it?_'" Brittany lifts her gaze to catch Santana watching her with a look of uncertainty.

"So... do you wanna talk about it?" Brittany asks cautiously but Santana politely shakes her head.

"I'd rather not, I just wanna forget it ever happened," she sighs, swallowing the insufferable lump in her throat which refuses to stay away. "It's done."

Brittany purses her lips, trying to think of anything she can say, something that doesn't make her feel like a robot when saying it, but there's nothing.

"I guess in that case I'll offer you a sympathetic smile and tell you that I'm sorry and to let you know that if there's anything you need..." Brittany shrugs, returning her attention to the tattered cast that engulfs Santana's right arm.

"What shows have you been watching exactly?" Santana narrows her eyes with a smile threatening to spoil her scowl.

"Grey's Astronomy or something, I thought it was a documentary series about the science intergalactic space but I just ended up as depressed as the people on the show."

Santana snorts, covering her laugh with her hand while Brittany shakes her head in disappointment.

"There's no need for you to be sorry," Santana offers a quick smile with a pinch of sadness still clear in her face. "If anything I'm sorry you had to move next door to such a dysfunctional, fucked up family."

"I don't care that your family is dysfunctional and fucked up," Brittany beams up at Santana with the most sincere expression. "That just means we'll be dysfunctional and fucked up together, we are made for each other, see!" She shrugs without a care in the world.

Santana can't fight the smile this time as Brittany once again succeeds to nurse Santana's inner wounds, even if it's just for a few seconds.

"I love you," Santana whispers and can't look at anything but into Brittany's eyes which are so animated, so alive that it gives Santana a warm feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"I know," Brittany smirks and holds Santana's gaze for a few moments more.

"Done!"

An overwhelming sensation of relief smacks right into the centre of Santana's arm as Brittany pulls off the remains of the torn plaster-cast.

"Oo-oh my Go-od!" Santana blurts out, dropping her head back in sweet satisfaction. "Brittany, you are a _Goddess!_" She screeches and wraps her arms tightly around Brittany's neck before nuzzling her head under Brittany's chin.

"I know!" Brittany giggles and circles her arms around Santana's hips in return. "Although, you gotta get those scratches cleaned 'cause they look kinda nasty and I don't want you to get gangrene and then for your arm to fall off because that would be gross..."

"Ew," Santana mutters into Brittany's chest.

"And we can frame the cast as a constant reminder to never climb trees if you have a fear of heights and or when the tree is relatively icy..." Brittany sighs, amused by the memories although Santana doesn't reply this time.

Brittany's eyes drift over to a photo collage framed next to the bathroom sink. There's several baby photographs of her dotted around, bright-faced and bubbly in appearance and she smiles in all of them. There's a few of her parents holding her, playing with her with looking as if they had just won the lottery. It only makes Brittany hold Santana tighter - If only then they knew what they know now.

"Then when we have little Santana's and Brittany's we'll laugh about it and tell them of the day I thought I killed you 'cause that'll sure put them right off." She jokes again but her smile slowly begins to fade.

Santana remains unresponsive and Brittany can't help but fear that their care-free period has come to an end.

"It's a win/win situation." Brittany continues but not as enthusiastically this time. She can feel Santana's heart begin to race against her chest while her fingers dig into the back of Brittany's shoulders. Brittany doesn't get it right a lot of the time, but when she does, she's usually spot on.

"You're gonna be an awesome mom someday, Santana." Brittany whispers, holding her even closer. "Don't let what's happened ever discourage you from believing that because I still believe it."

Brittany's right, Santana is completely discouraged. After all, having a family like hers would put anyone off having one of their own.

Brittany lifts her arm to brush her fingers through Santana's hair which has been left in tangles by the bitter wind outside.

"Who knows... Maybe one day you and your father will cross paths, he'll look at you and see what a beautiful woman you've grown to be, inside and out, and his eyes will only fill up with pride." Brittany smiles to herself at the thought. "Somehow I don't think that he ever stopped loving you... I don't think it's possible. It's you, Santana." She chuckles as if anyone can not love Santana. "You're like Clark Kent but hotter... and female; you're the strongest person I know."

Santana takes a moment to catch her breath before she leans back again to face Brittany. Her eyes are left sore from tears and Brittany takes a thumb to her cheek to wipe away the last one.

"To touch you as much as wiping a single tear from your cheek means the world to me. You don't realise how much you've changed my life, how differently I view it now that you've given me this. You're destined for greatness, Santana Lopez." Brittany smiles before wiping away her own little yet significant tear.

Santana grimaces to herself, shaking her head as if to say cut it out.

"Jesus, when did I become such hot blubbering mess!? " Santana chuckles through her hands as she wipes the damp away from her face. "I used to be cool, you know?" She jokes.

"You lost that cool card when you showed up at my house apologising for being such a bitch to me on my first day at McKinley." Brittany shrugs, unable to help feeling a little smug. "I mean, you could have at least waited a few days but no, you couldn't keep away, whipped from the moment you saw me."

Santana raises an eyebrow, surprised by how on point she actually was.

"Well if only I knew then what I know now, huh?" Santana plays along, biting her tongue between her teeth. Brittany narrows her eyes and wonders if telepathy is in fact possible. "Still..." Santana sighs while she helps Brittany to her feet. "I wouldn't change a thing." She beams out before her gaze drops down to Brittany's lips finding it almost impossible to look anywhere else. They stand there for a moment, Brittany watches Santana watching her before narrowing her eyes.

"I'll get the shower started for you," She smirks before turning to make her way to the shower cubicle, tiredly stretching her arms out in the process. Santana takes a deep breath and tip-toes across the cold tiles towards the door where she turns the lock just as the shower begins to groan and spray water against the cloudy glass.

"That'll heat up nice and warm for you soon so just jump in whenever," Brittany comments as she returns by Santana's side, taking her right arm gently to examine the scarring. "Does it hurt?" Brittany frowns, uncomfortable by the sight of the bloody scrapes and blisters.

"Not anymore," Santana hums as she gently pulls her arm away from Brittany's grip. She glances up at her through dark lashes before proceeding to lift the hem of her Ramone's t-shirt over her head, making sure to keep Brittany's full attention. There she drops the garment next to their feet and begins to play with the hem from Brittany's top. She teases a little skin there which appears just above her the waist line of her panties before she urges Brittany to raise her arms to which Brittany obeys by without question. With her arms now raised above her head like an open invitation, Santana slowly peels the fabric up Brittany's stomach. Every inch of skin that is revealed leaves a parade of goosebumps following closely behind as Santana twists the top across Brittany's chest and finally over her head where she drops it to make a small pile on the floor.

It always takes Santana's breath away whenever she sees Brittany like this; her body chiselled to perfection. She can't resist running her fingers down Brittany's smooth abs and Brittany can't resits the burning trail that her touch leaves. She teasingly tugs at the waistband of Brittany's underwear, pulling her closer until the skin of their stomach's brush past each other, both bodies irresistibly warm to the touch.

Brittany gently drags her fingernails up Santana's chest, concentrating on the faint white marks she leaves in her path all the way up to Santana's shoulders where she cups her hands around each side of Santana's neck, slowly squaring up to her until both of their noses are grazing. Brittany watches Santana with clear intensity while drawing shapes with her thumbs behind Santana's ears.

Santana, who can melt at any moment by the way Brittany looks at her right now, notices how her eyes cloud into dark sapphires, into jewels of passion. Santana opens her mouth to speak but before she can get a word out, Brittany holds a finger to her lips, pushing her up against the bathroom door, barely leaving any space for Santana to move in response. She doesn't mind however, in fact, she always finds dominant Brittany sexy as hell - ever since she had her little school-girl fantasy dream in detention that same day, she hoped she would be seeing Brittany's '_I'm going to fuck you so hard look' _very _very_ soon.

She knows she's getting turned on by the tingles that flutter in the very pit of her stomach, but Brittany wants to tease Santana a little more. She wraps her fingers around Santana's wrist, holding it locked like a handcuff before bringing the inside of her wrist to her lips. Their eyes remain in contact as Brittany begins planting gentle kisses close to Santana's veins, where the once broken bone has now mended. She nibbles and licks around the sensitive area before Santana eventually loses the game and her eyes flutter shut, dropping her head back against the door.

The feeling is euphoric, the way Brittany's hot tongue circles around Santana's pressure points feels almost supernatural as every emotion, every thing Santana's knows is heightened. The chemistry they share ignites a quilt of passion which drapes over them, bringing them closer together physically and spiritually. Santana flexes her fingers while Brittany kisses down her wounded arm in an attempt to ease the pain.

But Santana has other plans - unable to contain herself for much longer she tries to break free so she can take Brittany's lips with her own but is denied when Brittany hisses and pushes her back against the door with more force this time. Santana smirks, biting her bottom lip while Brittany entwines their fingers and pushes their hands above their heads so they're resting against the wooden door frame. Her other hands now caresses Santana's cheek. Santana turns her head slightly and begins to leave light kisses against Brittany's palm, trailing small butterfly pecks along her fingers as she takes the tips between her teeth and runs her tongue along the skin. Brittany watches in fascination and she too can start to feel the melting sensation which turns her legs to jelly.

Santana stops for a moment to place her free hand on top of Brittany's where it still rests on her cheek before gently leading Brittany's hand down to her chest.

"Touch me, Brit..." Santana whispers, sighing in a coquettish manner towards the besotted girl in front. "I want you to put your hands _all. over. me."_

Compelled by her completely, Brittany fixates her sights on Santana's body, her lust is so intense that any more restraint and she worries that she will keel over from withdrawal symptoms. There's so many things she wants to do to Santana right now. Especially before she can no longer...

"Make me cum over and over and _over _again," Santana growls, batting her dark lashes to reveal her requited lust beneath her coal black eyes. Brittany clenches her jaw just inches away from Santana's lips. Ever so slightly she presses her body against Santana's, pushing their hands further up the door-frame while she imprisons Santana in between. She takes her other hand which now rests upon Santana's restless heart and trails her fingers down her stomach, circling her arm around Santana's waist while her eyes still fall up on her face.

"I _dare _you..." Santana murmurs into Brittany's parted lips.

It's all it takes for Brittany's lips to crash against Santana's while sweat and steam gleams over their bodies, skin sliding against skin. Santana moans into Brittany's mouth, her lips slightly curling up into a smile as she presses their bodies closer together. Reaching her right arm down her thigh, Brittany's hitches Santana's leg around her hip before grinding into her, producing another moan of pleasure.

She gently digs her teeth into Santana's bottom lip and slowly pulls away, scrunching up her nose as if she were an animal teasing away the skin of her prey all the while keeping Santana's hand locked above her head. Santana curls her toes and grinds back against Brittany for more friction but as soon as she does, Brittany removes her hand from around Santana's thigh and travels north between her legs. There she presses her palm firmly right in the middle of Santana's groin area, slightly curling her fingers above the fabric, testing Santana's boundaries who's eyes roll to the back of her head as she lets out a whimper.

Santana's in two frames of mind: she wants Brittany to release her so she can have her own way and finally get relief, but at the same time, having Brittany cage her like this, having no control whatsoever, it leaves her dripping wet and throbbing and it's so fucking hot.

Brittany dips her head down to Santana's bare shoulder and licks a warm, wet trail from her collar bone up to her jaw line. Her skin is salty from sweat and it turns Brittany on even more. She eventually removes her hand from Santana's centre but not without protest from her other half. All is forgiven however when she trails her fingers up Santana's back which is deliciously damp all the way to her neck. She combs through her hair where she grabs a gentle hold of the strands interlaced between her fingers.

Brittany lingers for a moment, brushing her lips against Santana's jaw, listening to the way her breath hitches with each momentous second that passes. For both of them, everything becomes a little hazy as one becomes high off the other. Their exhaustion from the previous day has been parasitical and now there's nothing left but a concealment that's waiting to explode. Brittany can barely open her eyes, drunk from Santana's aura and under this kind of intoxication, all she wants to do is be silly in the best kind of way.

Brittany continues to play with Santana's hair while dropping her mouth back down to the crook of Santana's neck and without warning, she pulls at Santana's scalp so her head tilts away from Brittany's mouth, revealing more skin. A sharp piercing sensation stings under Santana's jaw, causing her eyes to jolt wide open followed by a hiss that seeps through her gritted teeth. Did Brittany actually just bite her? Although the sensation quickly passes as she drunkenly closes her eyes again while Brittany sucks and kisses along her flesh, leaving a few rather visible marks.

She stops with her lips just inches apart from Santana's who's now panting a little heavier with each breath. Santana opens her eyes again to find Brittany watching down on her with hooded eye lids. Her lips, swollen, are left slightly apart while her cheeks burn crimson. She looks so fucking incredible.

"Take off your pants." Brittany commands, finally setting Santana free but the loss of contact comes unfavourable to her. Brittany bats her lashes and bites her lower lip as she starts to descend backwards, leaving Santana leaning against the door. The image of Santana in just her bra and a pair of baggy sweatpants is incredibly hot to Brittany, but then again, there was barely a time when she didn't feel that way about Santana.

"You're killing me," Santana croaks, her voice thick with sex.

"_Ditto_," Brittany mouths before turning around to face the shower, reaching her arm out to test the temperature of the water.

Santana loops her thumbs behind the waistband of her sweatpants but pauses to admire the view of Brittany's behind. She has the perfect pear-shaped figure; her waist is tight and tiny yet her thighs are thick and toned, giving her the best ass that Santana has ever seen and she can't help but grin with pride because it's all _hers_. Brittany can feel Santana's eyes on her so she turns to meet her gaze, offering a sly smile while she reaches behind her back and unclasps her bra before stretching out an arm with the strap swinging between her fingers. There she drops the baby-pink undergarment to the floor.

Santana swallows hard as her gaze falls to Brittany's feet and doesn't waste another moment in dropping her sweatpants down to her ankles immediately, underwear included. Brittany cocks a brow and giggles at her blatant eagerness but she too enjoys the view from behind while she admires Santana up and down. Satisfied with what she sees, Brittany turns back to face the shower again before bending over, tugging at her shorts as she pulls them down her legs attracting every ounce of Santana's attention, so much she almost ends up slipping on the tiles with a near stroke. Which Santana is more amazed about she isn't sure, either how flexible Brittany can be or the fact that she 's bending right over while naked not ten feet way from her. She doesn't know where to look.

"Are you blushing?" Brittany giggles from between her legs.

"Hmm..." Santana hums and tries her hardest to keep eye contact with Brittany without looking anywhere else. "Nah, it's just the um..." Santana clears her throat. "It's the steam, it's hot... like really freakin' hot!" Santana pretends to fan her face but Brittany knows what she really means by it, or so she think she does. She narrows her eyes with a half way smile before swiftly standing up again, turning this time to face Santana in all her nude glory as she leans against the glass shower cubical with arms folded.

"After you?" Brittany declares and is pleased when Santana takes no time to make her way across the floor, meeting her in the middle. It's funny how quickly the air between them can change as Santana peers up to Brittany with an honest expression, her lips form in a tight line but all her features remain soft. She carefully steps onto the tips of her toes and gently closes her lips around Brittany's for a courteous kiss to say thank you. When she pulls back, Santana imitates Brittany from minutes before and reaches behind her back to unclasp her bra before the fabric slides down her body and onto the tiles. With her expression still the same, Santana glides past Brittany, brushing her fingers along her girlfriends stomach before stepping into the shower.

She closes her eyes when the hot water hits her skin, each drop sending a wave of relief throughout her body. Brittany stands in the doorway of the cubical and allows time for Santana to loosen up a little. She can happily wait forever because to Brittany, there is nothing more alluring than the sight of Santana under rainfall. It _is_ their thing after all and the way the water from the shower-head crashes against Santana's golden brown skin right now reminds Brittany of just that. She loves the way a single water droplet travels down Santana's body, especially the way it curves and turns around in and between the contours of her frame with such elegance. It's a picture she'll never forget.

Brittany eventually steps inside, gently closing the glass door behind her. There isn't much room for the both of them being around a square meter in size but the closer Brittany can be to Santana the better. Santana waits for Brittany to make the first move and as if she can read her mind, she feels Brittany's hands rest on each side of her shoulders before she begins to massage the knots that lie beneath her skin.

"Mmm, that feels good..." Santana drops her head down to allow Brittany more access. Between the feeling of having Brittany's hands rubbing her shoulders and the shower spraying hot water across her body, it doesn't take long for Santana to unwind completely.

Brittany notices the affect she's having so she presses her thumbs into Santana's back even harder, stepping forward until they're just inches from touching. Santana opens her eyes when she feels the heat from Brittany's body closing in right behind her and slyly smiles to herself. The back of Santana's head is now saturated with water and Brittany runs a hand across the back of her neck, moving her hair to one side. She lowers her head slightly and begins kissing away the water drops which rest upon one shoulder while continuing to massage the other. Hot water begins to flow down Brittany's face, dripping from her nose and cheeks and neither girls could feel any more relaxed _or_ turned on.

Santana drops her head backwards with a sigh onto Brittany's shoulder who works feverishly with her mouth. They fit perfectly together still neither of them feel close enough yet so Brittany snakes her arm around Santana's stomach while Santana presses further back into Brittany's frame. She turns her head and twists her body ever so slightly, raising her hand to drag her fingernails through Brittany's scalp to which the blonde responds by digging her teeth into Santana's neck.

"People are gonna be asking question," Santana pants, making Brittany look up at her playfully before hissing, revealing her slightly pointed canines. Santana giggles, still pressing against her, still breathless and still so damn horny. She bites her bottom lip while staring at Brittany's. "But if I told them, they'd only be jealous," Santana teases offering a flirtatious smirk. Brittany tries to restrain from digging her nails into Santana's hip when she finally closes the gap between their lips, stealing a kiss under the sharp pricks of water that sprays over them.

Both girls are now completely drenched and it doesn't take long for their kiss to turn heated as they relish in the taste of the others lips. Brittany trails her fingers up Santana's stomach before resting her palm up on Santana's breast making her moan into Brittany's mouth. She sucks on Brittany's lower lip, sliding her tongue along the pink and supple flesh which tastes sweeter with every lick and this time it's Brittany's turn to moan when Santana drags her nails down her neck. Their kiss is rabid as they battle for dominance, their lips crashing in sync while the steaming hot water hits their skin. Santana presses up against Brittany's embrace as much as she can and both of their bodies ignite in a fever, melting together like hot caramel and vanilla.

"Please," Santana begs breathlessly as Brittany continues to massage her breasts from behind, pinching her nipples every so often while she soaks up the reaction. Santana doesn't have to ask twice as Brittany's spins her around, their gaze locking together instantaneously. Brittany's eyes are noticeably dark, she _craves_ what she desires and she's so close to getting her prize that she pushes Santana up against the wall of the shower, bearing her teeth as she growls under her breath. Santana watches her through the steam, watching the way the water falls down her face and drips from her bottom lip that slightly parts from the top. Both girls are wringing-wet in every sense of the phrase and it's too much for Santana to hold back and soon their lips collide again just as their bodies clash in unison. The warm water trickles down their skin while they latch on to one another, drowning in each other's affection while Brittany runs her hands down the arch of Santana's back before resting her palms under each one of her cheeks.

Santana holds Brittany's face in her hands, parting from their kiss as she takes a moment to breathe. Unclear of how long the shower has been running, the place feels as if it were a sauna - their bodies are slick from steam, sweat and sex and their breaths are rugged even though they are just getting started.

They don't have to say anything to know what the other is thinking, even Brittany. It's the looks on their faces that speak for themselves. They want each other so much that they think it's impossible, but then to have that very girl feel the exact same way, it's like a miracle.

With words unspoken, Brittany cups her hands around Santana's butt and lifts her up against the tiles of the wall, allowing Santana to wrap her legs around Brittany's waist before she dips her head to catch Brittany's lips between hers. Brittany presses even further into Santana before she begins to work her mouth down Santana's neck, licking over the love marks she made not so long ago and eventually grazes her teeth along Santana's breast, teasing her mouth along her nipple, causing Santana to dig her heels in the bottom of Brittany's back. Blinded by the steam that obscures her vision, Brittany takes advantage of her other heightened senses, noting the rhythm Santana makes as she grinds her hips into her own, the way their hearts race in time with each other, pounding against their chests and the sound of Santana's breath hitching whenever Brittany sucks, licks and bites every inch of her breasts.

Santana drops her head back against the tiles, unable to stop the elated sigh that escapes her upturned lips while she closes her eyes and lets the the water fall on her face. Brittany again works her way back up Santana's chest to her collar-bone and then her neck, sliding Santana's hips even higher as her mouth too works higher where she now licks Santana's jaw. It could be a thousand degrees and still Brittany would keep going. She skilfully props Santana between the wall and her hips, so that she can trail her right hand around Santana's thigh to the inner side where she rubs shapes into her skin.

Santana wants more as she grinds into Brittany's hips for encouragement but is disappointed when Brittany eventually stops to peer up at her with a mischievous look. It's as if she got carried away and now only realises the fact that she has a very naked, very wet, one Santana Lopez straddling the crap out of her and practically _begging_ to be fucked inside a steaming hot shower. With this fact now reasonably embedded in her mind, Brittany voluntarily obligates to Santana's erotic gesture and manoeuvres her hand from the inside of her thigh, lightly trailing her fingers up to the most sensitive part of Santana's body.

Brittany smiles when she feels Santana's legs tighten around her waist as her fingers come into contact with her overly-swollen bundle of joy. Santana couldn't be any more ready than she already is and shivers at the slight touch of Brittany's fingers sliding so effortlessly down her lips to the centre where she wants to feel Brittany the most.

Brittany waits, watching Santana unfold with every excruciating second that passes by where Brittany doesn't do anything. Santana breathes profusely through her nose, her chest heaving up and down while hot water descends down her body. She is an image and Brittany doesn't wait any longer before she urges two fingers into Santana already throbbing core.

Santana lets out a guttural moan, her voice echoing around the bathroom as Brittany slowly retreats her fingers before thrusting them back in again to which Santana lets out another unfathomable noise. She does it again, watching the way Santana's eyes roll to the back of her head, the way her tongue rides along her lower lip with pleasure, and again, picking up a rhythm while Santana grinds her hips down on Brittany's fingers just as hard.

_And again._

"You feel so good," Brittany pants, dropping her head under Santana's chin as she speeds up the pace with her wrist. Both of them are out of breath, gasping for air but neither are willing to stop. Santana raises her arms and curls her fingers over the top of the glass cubical to take a little weight off Brittany and much to her advantage, Brittany thrusts a little deeper making Santana cry out in pleasure while Brittany bites down on her shoulder. Brittany can't be tamed. She _feeds_ of Santana's reactions, falling in a trance of pure delirium while Santana's pulsates around her fingers, with every breath or moan that escapes her lips trickling out like hot treacle in all its seductive glory.

Brittany wants more.

With Santana's position, Brittany is able to curl her fingers inside of her, causing Santana's legs to jerk out uncontrollably. Brittany glances up and admires the way Santana's brows are knit together with her eyes squeezed shut while she violently bites down on her bottom lip, unable to stop the moans from vibrating within her chest.

_Almost._

Brittany keeps a close eye on Santana while she thrusts without fault, curling her fingers each time and if the sound of her palm slapping against her dripping centre isn't enough, Santana panting Brittany's name through their harmony of moans sends Brittany into overdrive. She's pumps her fingers twice as hard now as Santana cries twice as loud. With not even the energy to steal a kiss, their lips brush past each other, forehead resting against forehead while they gasp for air.

"_Ugh, _I'm so close," Santana murmurs into Brittany's mouth. With no strength left in her arms, Santana's hands slip back down the glass cubical before she circles her arms around Brittany's neck who's rhythm remains constant despite her wrist beginning to ache. With the few words of encouragement from Santana, Brittany places her thumb above Santana's clit and presses down hard, curling her two fingers deep inside as she begins a circular motion. She's thrusting and rubbing so hard that it doesn't take long for Santana to feel the benefits.

"Oh my God!" Santana cries out, squeezing her eyes shut before dropping her head into the crook of Brittany neck. She bucks her hips into Brittany's fingers and soon she's seeing stars; Big, bright, beautiful fucking stars that blinds her entire vision as she comes harder than ever before. Her cries are like music to Brittany's ears and she doesn't slow down any time soon. Santana is trembling, she's dragging her nails down Brittany's spine but Brittany keeps on going as the burning water from the shower-head hits both of them hard.

No longer able to withstand the intensity, Santana straightens up, squeezing her things around Brittany's hips before pushing back from the wall causing Brittany to stumble backwards and slip.

* * *

><p>Both of them are seeing stars now as they lay spent on the bathroom floor. Brittany is on her back against the cold tiles, facing up to the ceiling while Santana still straddles her on top as the shower still buzzes away.<p>

"Are... are you okay?" Santana puffs, turning her head to find the door for the shower cubical swinging back and forth. The shower head has unhinged and dangles freely from the wall, manically spitting out water in all directions. She turns back around to find Brittany wiping the excess water from her face with her forearm, her chest still heaving as she tries to regain her breath.

"I think you broke me," Brittany pants, tiredly peering up to her in defeat. Santana smiles and slides down Brittany's frame until their chests are aligned. There she slowly bends down and steals a light kiss from her lips.

"_Ditto_," Santana replies in her deliciously raspy, after-sex tone while she picks away the damp hair stands from Brittany's face. They study each other's expression for a moment: Their eyes, still saturated with passion are hooded from the light as they share a loving gaze. Santana grins and it doesn't take long before they both erupt into a slap-happy state of laughter.

Once the laughter subsides, Brittany gently brushes her fingers down Santana's cheek which burns a fine peach through the toffee texture of her skin. Santana gently runs her thumb along Brittany's lower lip, watching the trail her finger makes before dipping down and meeting her lips once more. They the share a longer kiss this time filled with the greatest incentives of love and for a second, everything bad in the world just seems to disappear into thin air.

* * *

><p><em>End of Chapter XXIV<em>

***Passes out* **

**Well then, despite steamy sex sessions it seems like Santana is hanging on by a loose thread... Maybe she should just come clean about the pact to allow some weight off her shoulders. Or maybe someone will do it for her? **

**Please review! You're all awesome for still reading. **


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